McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 14:07:21 GMT -6
They are adults they are trying to disentangle themselves from her moms manipulation of I'm the best mom so I'm paying for the wedding of your dreams. - They are not trying to disentangle themselves. Let's just stop right here on that. Maybe they want to. Maybe they have plans to. However, today at this time, they are not trying to disentangle themselves. Stevie Wonder could see this woman is a dropped squirrel nut yet they wanted her funds for the wedding. That is why they are here. I've offered to pay on the 0% card but they are trying to figure out with the venue how to take out all of her moms add ons so they owe next to nothing. Venue is balking a bit cause it's 20 days til wedding and some stuff is already ordered or whatever.Nixing the open bar, extra entree, fancier chairs, chair sashes, table runners, charging plates blah blah. They really want to uninvited some of her moms invites like the random lady who runs the pawn shop but how do you really do that.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 14:09:52 GMT -6
I would have no problem un-inviting people to the wedding. Especially if I did not know them.
"sorry the wedding has been postponed"
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 14:11:49 GMT -6
Some people just want to complain without fixing the problem. Some people are okay with engaging in that and some people it enrages. Amy seems like a vent but no fix so if that enrages some of you, ignore her posts. I am learning that some people just want to vent and some people want to just wallow. I can't stand by and not say something when you are adding onto the fuckery like putting the shit on your credit card, in your name, when you are on a fixed income. I just cannot. I also do not care who reads my posts or who agrees or who disagrees.
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Post by angelashly on Jun 2, 2023 14:13:39 GMT -6
I would have no problem un-inviting people to the wedding. Especially if I did not know them. "sorry the wedding has been postponed" Only if they truly pay for the rest though. If mom pays she gets to invite One of my favorite things to say when my mil threw a fit about us not inviting people she wanted that I had not even met despite it being 17 years into a relationship was that she wasn’t paying so she can’t invite. She was more than welcome to pay for the person by giving us the $150 or whatever per person. Guess what she wasn’t willing to do that
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Post by readyornot on Jun 2, 2023 14:14:35 GMT -6
If someone you love is at your house working on flowers for their wedding, gets a phone call and starts crying well I guess you just walk them to the door and tell then I don't want to hear about it eh? Yeah I get it, you'd tell them to keep it to themselves. You made a deal with the devil so that's it no help or understanding from me. No, but in a different moment when the crying isn't happening I might have a conversation with them about boundaries and how it's not serving me to hear every detail right now when there's nothing I can do to help and the cycle continues on. I don't see why it has to be one extreme or the other. But this is her kid? & future DIL, not just another person or friend. I don't know that I'd ever tell my adult kids they can't vent or whine to me about pretty much anything. They may end up stopping because they don't like my responses to the venting, but I hope I'm always here for it if they need somebody 🤷♀️
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Post by angelashly on Jun 2, 2023 14:17:45 GMT -6
No, but in a different moment when the crying isn't happening I might have a conversation with them about boundaries and how it's not serving me to hear every detail right now when there's nothing I can do to help and the cycle continues on. I don't see why it has to be one extreme or the other. But this is her kid? & future DIL, not just another person or friend. I don't know that I'd ever tell my adult kids they can't vent or whine to me about pretty much anything. They may end up stopping because they don't like my responses to the venting, but I hope I'm always here for it if they need somebody 🤷♀️ If it comes at the price of my mental health I would put up a boundary. I’m not saying never vent but it’s different And this mom’s behavior isn’t knew she acted like this during the pregnancy and birth too. So they were fine enough to take the money then they have to be grown enough to either deal with the consequences and move on at the end or put up said boundaries
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 14:19:58 GMT -6
No, but in a different moment when the crying isn't happening I might have a conversation with them about boundaries and how it's not serving me to hear every detail right now when there's nothing I can do to help and the cycle continues on. I don't see why it has to be one extreme or the other. But this is her kid? & future DIL, not just another person or friend. I don't know that I'd ever tell my adult kids they can't vent or whine to me about pretty much anything. They may end up stopping because they don't like my responses to the venting, but I hope I'm always here for it if they need somebody 🤷♀️ They are doing more than venting and whining? Are we reading the same things?
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Post by angelashly on Jun 2, 2023 14:20:41 GMT -6
But this is her kid? & future DIL, not just another person or friend. I don't know that I'd ever tell my adult kids they can't vent or whine to me about pretty much anything. They may end up stopping because they don't like my responses to the venting, but I hope I'm always here for it if they need somebody 🤷♀️ They are doing more than venting and whining? Are we reading the same things? Not to mention continuing to vent when Amy has asked them not to
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Post by angelashly on Jun 2, 2023 14:23:01 GMT -6
This is the same kid who wouldn’t get her a Christmas present and then when he did he got her a candle that set off allergic reactions which she vented about but when we said to let them know she told us we were mean and she couldn’t do that and they barely have money.
So in the end I need to practice what I preach and release this because it has been years of posting about being taken advantage of but it’s not my life
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Post by angelashly on Jun 2, 2023 14:25:17 GMT -6
I would let the grandma keep the little boy so don't go by me. I feel she would not last that long. She is not safe with grandson period. And I told them I will not watch grandson for any part of the week they are gone if I have to get him to or from her parents. Because I won't deal with them. So you have him for the weeks?
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 14:26:23 GMT -6
But this is her kid? & future DIL, not just another person or friend. I don't know that I'd ever tell my adult kids they can't vent or whine to me about pretty much anything. They may end up stopping because they don't like my responses to the venting, but I hope I'm always here for it if they need somebody 🤷♀️ If it comes at the price of my mental health I would put up a boundary. I’m not saying never vent but it’s different And this mom’s behavior isn’t knew she acted like this during the pregnancy and birth too. So they were fine enough to take the money then they have to be grown enough to either deal with the consequences and move on at the end or put up said boundaries Yes this. This woman is not new to them. She been acting a fool. Do a post search, please. The story I read in posts that they were advised not to have this woman, I am going to call her Karen, pay for their wedding but they chose to do it anyway. The story I read in posts said they were encouraged to have the wedding they could afford, but they chose not to anyway. (I do not believe this actually happened. Not calling anyone a liar but I also read posts where they were encouraged to go to the Mexican place for a better price on tuxedos. That reads to me like you encouraging this BS - and I have said so before so no need for anyone to fuck with me today.) That girl is still going to be dealing with her mama after the wedding and that's ok. I just would not let it affect me. If you are drowing, I will throw you a life preserver. However, if you don't grab it and you keep flailing, I am not going to jump in the water and drown with you. I gotta put myself first.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 14:28:13 GMT -6
She is not safe with grandson period. And I told them I will not watch grandson for any part of the week they are gone if I have to get him to or from her parents. Because I won't deal with them. So you have him for the weeks? I feel in my spirit this has already been covered or I am psychic at this point. Yes AmyG is providing the child care.
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Post by angelashly on Jun 2, 2023 14:29:00 GMT -6
So you have him for the weeks? I feel in my spirit this has already been covered or I am psychic at this point. Yes AmyG is providing the child care. I am sure you are right Which is not good for the pain
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 14:33:22 GMT -6
I once told my stepson - "You tend to do the most. You are a lot. You are huge personality, and you like to get into all kinds of adventures. There is nothing wrong with that. I love you for it. However, I will not be a party or affected by you and your grand endeavors after today. Today is the last day that I will be stressed and driving all over town and rushing to get to work late and miss a meeting. It is not fair to me."
And I have never looked back....We have been fine. I have a great relationship with him. I am not his one call. I am not his ride or die - and I do not want to be.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 14:34:07 GMT -6
I know a lot of couples that could not afford to take a honeymoon. It just wasn't feasible and it wasn't all based on finances either.
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Post by readyornot on Jun 2, 2023 14:34:57 GMT -6
But this is her kid? & future DIL, not just another person or friend. I don't know that I'd ever tell my adult kids they can't vent or whine to me about pretty much anything. They may end up stopping because they don't like my responses to the venting, but I hope I'm always here for it if they need somebody 🤷♀️ They are doing more than venting and whining? Are we reading the same things? Probably not as I've only read what's in here & not her wedding thread. In the last several pages they are venting & whining about MOBs ways *I could have missed other things? I don't have the details memorized
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pobre
Ruby
Posts: 22,416 Likes: 203,636
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Post by pobre on Jun 2, 2023 14:44:05 GMT -6
There are three sides to every story. JS.
There is one thing I 100% believe and that’s that the bride wanted a big fancy wedding, regardless of the costs emotionally/mentally. She didn’t meet her mom 6 months ago.
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Post by angelashly on Jun 2, 2023 14:48:43 GMT -6
I know a lot of couples that could not afford to take a honeymoon. It just wasn't feasible and it wasn't all based on finances either. ✋🏻✋🏻
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Post by angelashly on Jun 2, 2023 14:49:55 GMT -6
Ill see if she shows for bridal shower Sunday. Her mom and great grandma are not coming to bridal shower as of today. They were coming so they could get grandson and keep him until after they come home from the honeymoon last of june. FYI both of them walk with cane/walker, and are not allowed to lift over 10 lbs. He will be at my house with dh just in case. Dh has really grown into being a much more hands on grandpa more than he's ever been a hands one dad of a small kid. He watches grandson all by himself a lot of times. I mean
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Eagles
Opal
Posts: 8,871 Likes: 46,306
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Post by Eagles on Jun 2, 2023 14:50:21 GMT -6
I know a lot of couples that could not afford to take a honeymoon. It just wasn't feasible and it wasn't all based on finances either. ✋🏻✋🏻 Ours was free because our venue was a hotel that was hustling to get weddings. So they threw in a 5 night stay at one of their resorts.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 15:13:00 GMT -6
I know a lot of couples that could not afford to take a honeymoon. It just wasn't feasible and it wasn't all based on finances either. honeymoon is a cruise using vouchers from their cruise that was cancelled when pandemic happened. It would have been $250 each person otherwise with some kind of cruise dealios. There is still lost of wages no? Child care expenses? (That you are incurring) Again, I did say "wasn't all based on finances either" was my umbrella statement for the other costs incurred when you take a vacation away from your life. Nevermind, could just be my life.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 15:14:18 GMT -6
My MIL walked with a cane and she would keep my DS. We are the special *
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 15:15:52 GMT -6
They are doing more than venting and whining? Are we reading the same things? Probably not as I've only read what's in here & not her wedding thread. In the last several pages they are venting & whining about MOBs ways *I could have missed other things? I don't have the details memorized Please everyone post your details so I can memorize them.
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sterling
Global Moderator
GD
Posts: 15,068 Likes: 130,504
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Post by sterling on Jun 2, 2023 16:25:31 GMT -6
pobre hit me with a seal gif. 🦭
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 16:57:33 GMT -6
My MIL walked with a cane and she would keep my DS. We are the special * they both walk with cane, her mom just had abdominal surgery. they can't lift him. they do not evacuated when told to and they have dogs, fleas ticks and a filthy house. that isn't a house cause their house burned down and they are living in the metal workshop that didn't burn down. These are just people that nobody should leave their kids with. Her sister won't leave her kids with them and those kids are over the age of 2 I really don't care amyg. Like no lie, no shade, I don't give a fuck. I comment on it cause it's here. I comment on the topic because it's posted and I got time. The bottomline is that it affects me not. I don't think about this when I log off. Now in regards to my post - it's not about her mom, it's not about your grandson, it's not about their home, it's not about her sister. I didn't need all of this information.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 16:57:52 GMT -6
There is still lost of wages no? Child care expenses? (That you are incurring) Again, I did say "wasn't all based on finances either" was my umbrella statement for the other costs incurred when you take a vacation away from your life. Nevermind, could just be my life. they have accrued time off cause they don't take any unless they are sick. they pay me with groceries including the time he is here, so they'll give me more $ for groceries. Great!
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 16:59:08 GMT -6
Some of y'all are acting like boundaries = telling your kid to duck off and never return, and I don't get that. Boundaries are good! Everyone should see them in action, kids included. Yes. It reminds me of COVID thread and quarantine meaning you throw your child in a black hole. It's very 2020. LOL
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pobre
Ruby
Posts: 22,416 Likes: 203,636
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Post by pobre on Jun 2, 2023 17:02:01 GMT -6
AmyG we don’t say white trash anymore. YW.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,405
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Post by McBenny on Jun 2, 2023 17:05:24 GMT -6
In the trolling lane though - my MIL didn't used to pick up DS. He was walking and we don't carry walkers.
Again * for special snowflakes
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Post by miawallace on Jun 2, 2023 17:42:37 GMT -6
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