byjove
Ruby
Posts: 15,222 Likes: 74,203
|
Post by byjove on Jan 6, 2023 9:22:38 GMT -6
My 7 yo had a meltdown last night and again this morning about "having nothing to wear." I thought we had a few more years? This week has been a super rough transition back to school for both my kiddo. DD2 had other crying meltdowns making her late in the AM and DD1 for the hour after school pick up each day... aye!
|
|
Minerva
Ruby
Posts: 15,381 Likes: 67,036
|
Post by Minerva on Jan 6, 2023 23:29:07 GMT -6
My 7 yo had a meltdown last night and again this morning about "having nothing to wear." I thought we had a few more years? This week has been a super rough transition back to school for both my kiddo. DD2 had other crying meltdowns making her late in the AM and DD1 for the hour after school pick up each day... aye! Commiseration lovetit. My kids have also had really rough transitions back to school. The 5 yo in particular has had daily after-school meltdowns all week that involve me carrying her from the playground to the car kicking and screaming. It’s a lot.
|
|
starbuck
Emerald
Posts: 12,464 Likes: 81,139
|
Post by starbuck on Jan 9, 2023 10:31:55 GMT -6
Can I ask y'all for some feedback? I am early on the path interviewing for a new job.
I love my current job: I love my boss. I love what I do. I'm good at it. We are a communication firm and our focus in mostly public health (violence prevention, TBI, chronic diseases, and similar) so the work is meaningful. I'm on the path to becoming Partner in probably another 5 years.
I'm not actively looking for a job, but a recruiter reached out to me. The job is basically a promotion for me, moving to a PR firm, with a pretty massive, life-changing riase. Like...more than double what I make now. An amount I never thought I could make, ever.
I am still exploring their corporate culture. My single biggest hang up (other than, seriously, I ❤️ my job, is their clients include businesses I have no interest in helping or running damage control, like Meta. The job is business development so I know I'd have a voice in driving who we pursue in t he future, but I also couldn't cut out clients I don't like.
Either way, I plan to leverage any offer to try to accelerate my pay now. And I'm certain they would come back with something.. But there's no damn way they could come close to the salary. None. I'd be turning down a lot of income to stay at a job I love doing more meaningful work. But holy hell.
What would you do?!
|
|
byjove
Ruby
Posts: 15,222 Likes: 74,203
|
Post by byjove on Jan 9, 2023 11:21:13 GMT -6
starbuck, It sounds like it's worth seeing where this goes, but if the job or the people don't sound like a good fit, you can still be happy where you are.
|
|
|
Post by orangebird2020 on Jan 9, 2023 11:39:26 GMT -6
starbuck do you have a $ amount in mind that you hope the current employer can meet now? It feels rare to hear people describing loving their jobs and that is also valuable.
|
|
AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,352 Likes: 33,934
|
Post by AmyG on Jan 9, 2023 11:52:39 GMT -6
It kind of depends on how much a lot of money is ya know? % wise how much more money than you make now. For some people a lot might be kinda low like 5 or 10 k more mental health job satisfaction is likely worth a bit more than that.
But if you get up into way more money than that esp like twice what you make now? Then you Part on as good as terms as you can and give the new job a good try.
Only you know what the % increase would mean as far as things money can buy. It can't buy happiness bit with everything increasing in cost the extra might release money stress for your family in some way that would help.
Give existing job a try at an increase in pay. Figure out how much feels close enough. Don't throw an existing good job away until you have a solid new one. Look into job life balance stuff at new job.
Personally pay increase of a lot swings heavily in their favor in my mind and finances.
|
|
Minerva
Ruby
Posts: 15,381 Likes: 67,036
|
Post by Minerva on Jan 9, 2023 12:17:45 GMT -6
starbuck, It sounds like it's worth seeing where this goes, but if the job or the people don't sound like a good fit, you can still be happy where you are. This. Definitely explore the opportunity. Think about what your individual and family long term goals are and how this job would fit into them. What is your idea of a successful career? Which track seems more likely to get you where you want to be in 5 years? 10 years? There is a lot to be said for loving where you work. My H has chosen a somewhat slower, less financially lucrative career track where he loves his job and his coworkers. His quality of life (and our family’s QoL) is much higher than it was when he was hustling at a consultancy. He’s so much happier and less stressed, is flourishing professionally, and we are still financially stable even if we aren’t rolling in dough. So I tend to lean in the direction of the job that you love, but it really depends so much on your personality and career and financial goals.
|
|
dc2london
Admin
Press Secretary
Posts: 61,629 Likes: 419,438
|
Post by dc2london on Jan 9, 2023 12:44:55 GMT -6
starbuck, It sounds like it's worth seeing where this goes, but if the job or the people don't sound like a good fit, you can still be happy where you are. This. Definitely explore the opportunity. Think about what your individual and family long term goals are and how this job would fit into them. What is your idea of a successful career? Which track seems more likely to get you where you want to be in 5 years? 10 years? There is a lot to be said for loving where you work. My H has chosen a somewhat slower, less financially lucrative career track where he loves his job and his coworkers. His quality of life (and our family’s QoL) is much higher than it was when he was hustling at a consultancy. He’s so much happier and less stressed, is flourishing professionally, and we are still financially stable even if we aren’t rolling in dough. So I tend to lean in the direction of the job that you love, but it really depends so much on your personality and career and financial goals. This. I also, after having a boss from Hell, lean in favor of the devil you know. Having a boss you love and a job you love is a powerful thing.
|
|
athn64
Ruby
Posts: 17,412 Likes: 76,727
|
Post by athn64 on Jan 9, 2023 13:04:55 GMT -6
starbuck , It sounds like it's worth seeing where this goes, but if the job or the people don't sound like a good fit, you can still be happy where you are. This. Definitely explore the opportunity. Think about what your individual and family long term goals are and how this job would fit into them. What is your idea of a successful career? Which track seems more likely to get you where you want to be in 5 years? 10 years? There is a lot to be said for loving where you work. My H has chosen a somewhat slower, less financially lucrative career track where he loves his job and his coworkers. His quality of life (and our family’s QoL) is much higher than it was when he was hustling at a consultancy. He’s so much happier and less stressed, is flourishing professionally, and we are still financially stable even if we aren’t rolling in dough. So I tend to lean in the direction of the job that you love, but it really depends so much on your personality and career and financial goals. Same. H has turned down offers because he likes where he is and it's so much better for our family. His last job was hell for all of us.
|
|
|
Post by carmensandiego on Jan 9, 2023 13:29:35 GMT -6
starbuck, first - congratulations on the interview! Second, I think it's going to boil down to what you value. If it's career growth, then maybe this is something to jump toward. If it's quality of life, then maybe it's time to leverage and stay. I will say, I have had other friends leverage and stay - and it was never quite the same for them. But you know your workplace next, so YMMV.
|
|
starbuck
Emerald
Posts: 12,464 Likes: 81,139
|
Post by starbuck on Jan 9, 2023 13:29:46 GMT -6
I appreciate the perspective, y'all! What you said is pretty much where I am at - I'd rather not go and risk losing a great boss and environment. Part of me feels bad, like, I'm the higher earner and I should try to make as much as possible even if it isn't totally idyllic because we have 3 kids and college costs a lot lol. We are comfortable now, the new salary would change our lifestyle and my long-term earnings potential. Def going to talk more to the company and see where their heads are at, but knowing that I don't have to do anything. MH is supportive either way, he won't blink if I say no to a lot of $. And I do believe I could leverage any potential offer to get a raise so we'd be better off anyways. If the potential raise wasn't as big it wouldn't be an issue. It's just...yikes. But also, if I went and it wound up sucking I'd be really upset, and stressed, and the $$ wouldn't change that.
|
|
trueblue
Sapphire
Posts: 4,516 Likes: 16,278
|
Post by trueblue on Jan 9, 2023 13:34:12 GMT -6
I was just at the same point- a second interview for a significant career advancing position that would have opened the door to executive level jobs for the remainder of my career and come with a very significant salary boost.
I withdrew my application last week before the second interview because I am not ready to give up the work benefits I have now (basically no over sight, I come and go as I please), a massive amount of PTO, and right now we are comfortable with my salary. I hit that am I going to work to live or live to work point of reflection and chose working to live. In all my experience jumping at a role only (or mostly) for the salary is not a good jump. And yes there is a whole lot of privilege in that statement but I think once you get passed a certain financial threshold in your life, it becomes important to weigh out what the personal cost of the new role is going to be.
I also did not continue with the process just to get an offer to increase my pay because (in my mind) that would be more of a bridge burning activity At a company I would be interested in working for in the future than getting an offer and saying no. It was not a good career move on my part but it was a decision that sat right in my soul.
|
|
sifl
Platinum
Posts: 1,409 Likes: 5,598
|
Post by sifl on Jan 9, 2023 13:42:20 GMT -6
With bigger companies I also worry that you’re just a number and more at risk of being laid off at any moment. You know? At smaller firms you’re more likely to be an integral part of the team and your job security might be better.
|
|
|
Post by blurnette989 on Jan 9, 2023 16:31:27 GMT -6
For me, the money isn't worth the stress. I went back to fulltime at my job,which meant my pay was increased 25% commensurate with an increase from 30 to 40 hours a week. that increased pay is great but i regret it immensely. The money hasn't been worth those 10 extra hours of work in part because it really led to 15-20 hours a week.
I'd leverage it for a raise but never leave.if you love it.
|
|
starbuck
Emerald
Posts: 12,464 Likes: 81,139
|
Post by starbuck on Jan 9, 2023 16:32:57 GMT -6
With bigger companies I also worry that you’re just a number and more at risk of being laid off at any moment. You know? At smaller firms you’re more likely to be an integral part of the team and your job security might be better. Both companies are pretty small, actually. Both in the 40's. WRT some of the other posters asking about whether leveraging any potential offer would burn the bridge, it's an interesting question. My supervisor is a friend and mentor and we were talking one day about my long-term goals and one of the things she said to me was that when she was younger, she was more passive and didn't allow herself to explore opportunities, and she felt it slowed down her growth and potential. She actually told me not to be afraid of what's out there, just make sure I give her the opportunity to counter any offers I may get. So I feel pretty comfortable. Other places I've worked, I would never say this. But I trust her.
|
|
Minerva
Ruby
Posts: 15,381 Likes: 67,036
|
Post by Minerva on Jan 10, 2023 9:09:37 GMT -6
I signed my kids up for county summer camps this morning and holy fuck was it stressful. They are still running limited camp offerings post pandemic and demand is incredibly high. I got shut out of several camps in the first 5 minutes.
I wish my big kid would agree to try an overnight camp, but he is adamant that he won’t spend the night away from home. 😕
|
|
byjove
Ruby
Posts: 15,222 Likes: 74,203
|
Post by byjove on Jan 10, 2023 9:22:34 GMT -6
Minerva , I gave up even trying to register for any. Your experience was not unique based on a text chain I'm on with some other moms in the county!! There is one camp I'm going to have set an alarm for midnight for in a few weeks.
|
|
starbuck
Emerald
Posts: 12,464 Likes: 81,139
|
Post by starbuck on Jan 10, 2023 9:25:54 GMT -6
I signed my kids up for county summer camps this morning and holy fuck was it stressful. They are still running limited camp offerings post pandemic and demand is incredibly high. I got shut out of several camps in the first 5 minutes. I wish my big kid would agree to try an overnight camp, but he is adamant that he won’t spend the night away from home. 😕 Bless you for getting it all worked out so early!
|
|
piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,003 Likes: 143,829
|
Post by piratecat on Jan 10, 2023 10:25:35 GMT -6
I signed my kids up for county summer camps this morning and holy fuck was it stressful. They are still running limited camp offerings post pandemic and demand is incredibly high. I got shut out of several camps in the first 5 minutes. I wish my big kid would agree to try an overnight camp, but he is adamant that he won’t spend the night away from home. 😕 I am not looking forward to this process but I need to figure it out soon.
|
|
fatpony
Amethyst
Posts: 5,579 Likes: 30,810
|
Post by fatpony on Jan 10, 2023 12:49:51 GMT -6
I think I might have almost *literally* run into willow just over an hour ago. I almost said, "Willow?" but then thought that would have been weird. Waves safely from the computer (If it was you, I was the short fat redhead in the black and gold blazer).
|
|
addymac
Emerald
Posts: 12,705 Likes: 54,148
|
Post by addymac on Jan 10, 2023 12:50:36 GMT -6
Ugh. I was hoping to have N branch out and try a camp not connected with his school, so I went to look at the one I was considering and it’s insane compared to the cost of his school camp! No I’m not spend $5k on 7 weeks of camp. What on earth.
|
|
addymac
Emerald
Posts: 12,705 Likes: 54,148
|
Post by addymac on Jan 10, 2023 12:50:50 GMT -6
I think I might have almost *literally* run into willow just over an hour ago. I almost said, "Willow?" but then thought that would have been weird. Waves safely from the computer (If it was you, I was the short fat redhead in the black and gold blazer). Oooooooooo
|
|
willow
Ruby
Posts: 19,614 Likes: 125,176
|
Post by willow on Jan 10, 2023 12:58:58 GMT -6
Ahh fuck. Summer camps, I forgot those are starting up registration again soon. What is time.
|
|
willow
Ruby
Posts: 19,614 Likes: 125,176
|
Post by willow on Jan 10, 2023 12:59:49 GMT -6
I think I might have almost *literally* run into willow just over an hour ago. I almost said, "Willow?" but then thought that would have been weird. Waves safely from the computer (If it was you, I was the short fat redhead in the black and gold blazer). hahahah that was me! I'm sorry I didn't say hello. I had my headphones in and I am on autopilot while I'm walking so I just try to be friendly when I walk by people, I didn't even register it was you until later!
|
|
piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,003 Likes: 143,829
|
Post by piratecat on Jan 10, 2023 13:08:56 GMT -6
Ugh. I was hoping to have N branch out and try a camp not connected with his school, so I went to look at the one I was considering and it’s insane compared to the cost of his school camp! No I’m not spend $5k on 7 weeks of camp. What on earth. Holy shit, that's a lot.
|
|
sifl
Platinum
Posts: 1,409 Likes: 5,598
|
Post by sifl on Jan 10, 2023 13:22:28 GMT -6
We register for summer camps in January now?! Absolutely not. Lol.
|
|
byjove
Ruby
Posts: 15,222 Likes: 74,203
|
Post by byjove on Jan 10, 2023 13:29:01 GMT -6
We register for summer camps in January now?! Absolutely not. Lol. For DD1's sleep away camp, I have to submit an application November of the prior year! When we started signing up for regular summer camps 5ish years ago, it was solidly March-ish, with maybe one late February. Now it is early January and I hate it!
|
|
piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,003 Likes: 143,829
|
Post by piratecat on Jan 10, 2023 13:33:14 GMT -6
We register for summer camps in January now?! Absolutely not. Lol. I started a spreadsheet of camps and registration dates and I have one that opens on 1/23 and two that opens the first week of February. I don't like it either because it's hard to figure out summer plans this far in advance.
|
|
willow
Ruby
Posts: 19,614 Likes: 125,176
|
Post by willow on Jan 10, 2023 13:36:04 GMT -6
We register for summer camps in January now?! Absolutely not. Lol. The school district isn't until March but some of the other camps around here start in Feb I think. I was very surprised last year when I was scrambling.
|
|
Minerva
Ruby
Posts: 15,381 Likes: 67,036
|
Post by Minerva on Jan 10, 2023 13:38:59 GMT -6
We register for summer camps in January now?! Absolutely not. Lol. For DD1's sleep away camp, I have to submit an application November of the prior year! When we started signing up for regular summer camps 5ish years ago, it was solidly March-ish, with maybe one late February. Now it is early January and I hate it! Yup. We don’t even have summer vacations scheduled or know if the kids are doing swim team and I’m already supposed to pick out county camps? I kind of get it for a sleep away camp, but it’s silly for local day camps. I think a lot of people sign up and then cancel later on when their kids get into other camps.
|
|