|
|
Post by Bumblebee on May 25, 2017 17:58:54 GMT -6
Hi, all. I'm a brand spanking newb and I hate that this is my first post here. But I either need to be talked off the ledge or told to burn it down. I don't know what to do.
A little background on me: married for 5 years with a 3.5 year old DS. Live in Patriots country and work in financial services. Love cats and all the people from the island of misfit toys that Sir Andy Cohen can find.
Ok onto my Q (and please don't quote)
DS came home from preschool today and said "(kid's nameI don't know if this is "normal" 3 year old stuff or what but I'm really upset. The kid that did it is one of the kids in class who historically more aggressive, pushy, forgets gentle hands, etc and my DS is in general very laid back and gentle.
I asked if he told his teacher and he said no. I said what did you do and he said "I said to (kid) no thank you please" which is what I've taught him to say when someone bothers him.
I've already asked for a meeting at the school tomorrow. What else would/should I do? Am I over/under reacting?
Sorry for the novel.
|
|
|
|
Post by yoginikiki on May 25, 2017 18:04:09 GMT -6
I don't think you are overreacting. Those are red flag behaviors for me signalling something might be going on in that other child's home that needs checking into. He is learning those kinds of behaviors from somewhere.
|
|
|
|
Post by misskilljoy on May 25, 2017 18:06:28 GMT -6
I think it's good that you're asking for a meeting at the school. I don't think there's anything else you need to do unless it happens again. Kids do really strange things sometimes that are wildly inappropriate, especially at that age. It becomes a concern (for me as an educator) when it's part of a pattern of inappropriate behaviour. A one-off incident would be something I (as a teacher) would speak to the child's parents about and document at school, but not something I'd automatically be worried about (depending on the incident, obviously).
|
|
|
|
Post by heybulldog on May 25, 2017 18:06:47 GMT -6
I don't think requesting a meeting is an overreaction. I would be doing the same.
|
|
PinkFreud
Opal
Anecdotes Police-Retired
Posts: 9,898 Likes: 59,707 
|
Post by PinkFreud on May 25, 2017 18:09:09 GMT -6
I think it's good that you're asking for a meeting at the school. I don't think there's anything else you need to do unless it happens again. Kids do really strange things sometimes that are wildly inappropriate, especially at that age. It becomes a concern (for me as an educator) when it's part of a pattern of inappropriate behaviour. A one-off incident would be something I (as a teacher) would speak to the child's parents about and document at school, but not something I'd automatically be worried about (depending on the incident, obviously). This |
|
|
|
Post by Bumblebee on May 25, 2017 18:09:28 GMT -6
I don't think you are overreacting. Those are red flag behaviors for me signalling something might be going on in that other child's home that needs checking into. He is learning those kinds of behaviors from somewhere. Yeah, I was afraid of that. God, this is giving me a stomachache. Especially knowing that I have to confront the school directors about it- I know 3 year olds aren't 100% reliable, but my kid didn't make this up. He told me where it happened in the building (the drama room, which they only use on Thursdays) and I asked him to show me what happened when I was putting on his pj's and he did exactly what he had been describing earlier. Any book recommendations about talking to 3 year olds about this kind of thing? Like body and privacy awareness? |
|
kudzu
Bronze
Posts: 117 Likes: 580
|
Post by kudzu on May 25, 2017 18:12:53 GMT -6
You're handling this well I think k. And in an appropriate manner. I can't imagine how you feel after hearing that
|
|
|
|
Post by Bumblebee on May 25, 2017 18:16:39 GMT -6
Thank you everyone for the responses. I don't normally do Debbie downer posts! But I feel a bit more now like I'm not overreacting.
|
|
|
|
Post by yoginikiki on May 25, 2017 18:16:52 GMT -6
I don't think you are overreacting. Those are red flag behaviors for me signalling something might be going on in that other child's home that needs checking into. He is learning those kinds of behaviors from somewhere. Yeah, I was afraid of that. God, this is giving me a stomachache. Especially knowing that I have to confront the school directors about it- I know 3 year olds aren't 100% reliable, but my kid didn't make this up. He told me where it happened in the building (the drama room, which they only use on Thursdays) and I asked him to show me what happened when I was putting on his pj's and he did exactly what he had been describing earlier. Any book recommendations about talking to 3 year olds about this kind of thing? Like body and privacy awareness? It sounds like your son knows quite a bit. He asked the person to stop and told you about it. I agree with misskilljoy, that you probably don't have to do anything else unless it happens again. My comment about the other child was more to say that it is good you are asking for a meeting since the school should know about it....especially if it is part of a pattern of behavior that might suggest something is going on at home. They are connected with the right resources and will make the call if necessary. |
|
|
|
Post by meggriffin on May 25, 2017 18:24:59 GMT -6
It's so hard to say what is normal at such a young age, I do agree that you are doing the right thing.
I worked with adolescent sex offenders for years, 9 years and older so I don't have experience with kids that young, but I wouldn't automatically assume that this one incident was a learned behavior. (assuming it is an isolated incident)
Your DS sounds like a very intelligent kid and like he did exactly the right thing going to you.
|
|
|
|
Post by lifesaverz on May 26, 2017 0:17:20 GMT -6
I would be floored by this. So no, definitely not over-reacting in my book.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,442
Likes: 297,903
|
Post by McBenny on May 27, 2017 7:47:35 GMT -6
Unfortunately I do have experience with kids this young having had horrible things done to them and then may do it to others. I am not convinced with what we have here that this is what this is - yet.
For me, it's irrelevant - You want your child safe and that's it. I don't think you are overreacting asking for a meeting. I would also tell your DS he did a great thing telling you about it and speaking out that he did not want to be touched etc. I would be looking to the school about what action or what do they have in place to ensure this does not happen again and I would go from there based on their reactions.
|
|
talon
Gold
Posts: 718
Likes: 1,347
|
Post by talon on May 27, 2017 8:05:32 GMT -6
Unfortunately I do have experience with kids this young having had horrible things done to them and then may do it to others. I am not convinced with what we have here that this is what this is - yet. For me, it's irrelevant - You want your child safe and that's it. I don't think you are overreacting asking for a meeting. I would also tell your DS he did a great thing telling you about it and speaking out that he did not want to be touched etc. I would be looking to the school about what action or what do they have in place to ensure this does not happen again and I would go from there based on their reactions. All of this. I don't think you need to automatically jump to abuse but sadly it's something the daycare team should be aware of as a possibility to make sure the other little guy is safe and that he doesn't continue to act out. And a huge yes to praising your kid for telling you, telling him to stop, etc. Hope your meeting goes well. |
|
|
|
Post by enchanted on May 27, 2017 8:25:49 GMT -6
It sounds like he handled it well already, but there is a book called Super Duper Safety School that a friend recommended to me. It has a lot of different things, but there is a part about how you are the boss of your own body and you have the right to tell people to stop. It also directs the kid to tell an adult if the other person doesn't.
|
|
