Rainbow AW
Jul 25, 2017 20:10:29 GMT -6
Post by hawkward on Jul 25, 2017 20:10:29 GMT -6
I think we're moving closer and closer to TFAT being off the table. I'm having problems with fibroids now, and my periods are insanely heavy because of it. I get so anemic, my hands go numb during. I go back and forth with being okay with this, with knowing a year ago I wouldn't have even considered it an option, knowing H and I are NOT good newborn people.
So tonight I was going for a run with DS1 (he bikes with me), and toward the end of our second lap around the lake, my hands started doing the going numb thing (thanks, CD2!). I was thinking I was tired of fighting my body, tired of not making long term plans because of the what-ifs, just pouting basically. Then, I got an overwhelming sense of peace and happiness. I can run again. My boys are (mostly) healthy and so happy, and I don't feel like anyone is missing from our family anymore, more than the usual "we could have had..." feelings. H and I are in a really good place, better than we have been in years, and I feel good.
We stopped to do a cool down and I turned around to talk to DS1 (who was behind me), and right over his head, in a mostly clear blue sky on a day that has not rained, was a bright rainbow. We could barely see a thundercloud in the distance, and somehow it was enough to make a rainbow. We stood there and stared at it for several minutes.
I don't really believe in signs, but my goodness I feel like I just got slapped upside the head with one.
So tonight I was going for a run with DS1 (he bikes with me), and toward the end of our second lap around the lake, my hands started doing the going numb thing (thanks, CD2!). I was thinking I was tired of fighting my body, tired of not making long term plans because of the what-ifs, just pouting basically. Then, I got an overwhelming sense of peace and happiness. I can run again. My boys are (mostly) healthy and so happy, and I don't feel like anyone is missing from our family anymore, more than the usual "we could have had..." feelings. H and I are in a really good place, better than we have been in years, and I feel good.
We stopped to do a cool down and I turned around to talk to DS1 (who was behind me), and right over his head, in a mostly clear blue sky on a day that has not rained, was a bright rainbow. We could barely see a thundercloud in the distance, and somehow it was enough to make a rainbow. We stood there and stared at it for several minutes.
I don't really believe in signs, but my goodness I feel like I just got slapped upside the head with one.
