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Post by mintyblueair on May 6, 2022 7:54:37 GMT -6
L's birthday is coming up in July. He's never had a party (and the only "parties" we've been to have been just one other family) and I'd like to have one for him this year. Is it still the done thing to invite every child in the class? I have no way of getting the contact information for the parents of his friends, so the only way I can see to send out invitations would be at school.
And do parents typically stay at parties, in your experience? There are 18 kids in his class, so that's potentially a large number of people.
Just trying to get a feel for how this is done since we've never done it before 😅
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Post by mintyblueair on May 6, 2022 8:02:28 GMT -6
Oh, and these are kindergarteners I'm talking about, so 5-6 years old.
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sarenu
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Post by sarenu on May 6, 2022 9:26:44 GMT -6
Where will it be?
Do you feel comfortable watching that many kids?
I always ask at that age when my kids were invited. And you can include your preference on the invitation. I’ve even seen parents put no gifts please. So take the time on the invitation to include instructions.
If you invite through the school, the whole class. Or you could send contact cards and have your child hand them to friends if you want it small. See who reaches out.
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Post by mintyblueair on May 6, 2022 11:03:54 GMT -6
I was hoping to have it in our backyard but July can be extremely hot so we'd probably need to be indoors part of the time. I don't actually want 18 kids, my preference would be to have four or five. If I end up inviting everyone I think I'll try to have it at a shady park, in which case I'd like a few other parents there.
I'll give some thought to passing out contact cards to a few friends. I feel like that might come across similarly to passing out invitations, though.
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mapleme
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Post by mapleme on May 6, 2022 11:23:36 GMT -6
At that age parents still attend here. I feel like it changes on the first to second grade range here. We’ve been following the rule of “one guest per year of age” (plus siblings, etc when parents attend). But this year we’re renting a local gymnastics place with a 10 kid limit, so they can invite 8 kids.
My kids’ teachers send out weekly email updates to all parents, so I dig out email addresses there. But I’ve reached out to their after care teacher when I want to reach a parent there (ask them to pass along a message). You could ask the teacher to pass along a message (or ask how parents usually handle it).
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milano
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Post by milano on May 6, 2022 11:38:03 GMT -6
I just emailed J's teacher his birthday party invitation and asked her to send it to the class via the electronic portal we all use. We did invite the whole class but I'm hoping like half come 😄. It's outdoors at our neighborhood pool, and parents will stay. I didn't want to make him try to pick and choose who to invite so we invited all 20 or however many there are in his class. We did the same thing for M's party in March that we had at a brewery.
There is no wrong answer though, it really boils down to preference, cost, space, etc. Do what you are comfortable with!
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Post by mintyblueair on May 6, 2022 11:59:11 GMT -6
Thanks for the feedback! We get weekly email's from L's teacher but the list of recipients is hidden. I think I will ask his teacher what she thinks and if she can send invitations via email to the handful of kids he regularly plays with. I figure that since his birthday falls outside the school year there's no risk of the kids talking about it and making others feel excluded. And I'd much rather have a small group at our house than turn it into a 20-30 person affair.
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mc13
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Post by mc13 on May 6, 2022 12:51:54 GMT -6
In our experience, in kindergarten, most parents stay at the party. 1st grade, about half the parents stay. There’s nothing wrong with just inviting a few of the kids.
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rugger
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Post by rugger on May 6, 2022 21:08:06 GMT -6
It's all preference, honestly. There's no wrong answer.
This year, A decided (with her sister's prompting LOL) that she wants to invite a couple close friends for her 8th birthday. We decided on 4 friends for each of them (combo party), and are keeping it really low key at a nearby park.
I had a couple of the friends' parents' contact info, but for the ones I didn't have, I reached out to the teacher and asked if she could pass along my info to "E's parents". They were happy to pass along my contact info discreetly.
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Post by ovenrack on May 7, 2022 6:16:11 GMT -6
You all are lucky. Our school has taken a firm no-info-passing stance so it’s kinda hard to figure out contact information.
The PTO runs a separate email list, but it’s only got like 1/3 of the student body because who wants to join another (secure) website to give them your info?!?
H had one friend birthday party, pre-Covid, and other than that we’ve only done home parties with family.
Winter birthdays kinda stink during school ages. Maybe next year we’ll have snow parties around the firepit.
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tj
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Post by tj on May 7, 2022 7:13:46 GMT -6
Lol. Our school emails a phone and email list of all the parents out with yes/no marks whether they are open to bdays, play dates, and overnights. I have errrrryone’s info.
That being said, we have summer bdays and usually just do pool parties at our house. We don’t invite school friends unless we hang out with them outside of school already. And don’t do invites through the school in any way.
For P’s age (in second now) parents have always stayed. But by 9, it seems to be more drop off.
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Post by charlotte on May 7, 2022 7:56:58 GMT -6
Wow tj that’s interesting and sounds convenient. I only have a couple of parents’ info. Like three. My oldest is 7 and I haven’t noticed any parents dropping off at parties yet.
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Post by mintyblueair on May 7, 2022 9:00:13 GMT -6
tj that's so great that they do that! I wish our school would do the same.
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Post by mintyblueair on May 7, 2022 9:04:14 GMT -6
We do know three families with kids similar in age (same school but different class or grade from L) so I may just invite them. It would simplify things, and we're already friends with the parents.
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milano
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Post by milano on May 7, 2022 9:24:53 GMT -6
Oh gosh I really hope parents aren't going to drop their kids off at our pool party. I wouldn't at J's age (ending 1st grade) so I assumed parents would stay. Maybe I should hire one of the neighborhood teens to "lifeguard" as an extra set of eyes.
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mc13
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Post by mc13 on May 7, 2022 10:10:04 GMT -6
Oh gosh I really hope parents aren't going to drop their kids off at our pool party. I wouldn't at J's age (ending 1st grade) so I assumed parents would stay. Maybe I should hire one of the neighborhood teens to "lifeguard" as an extra set of eyes. I would both hire a lifeguard and clearly say that a parent should stay for the party.
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tj
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Post by tj on May 7, 2022 10:30:01 GMT -6
Oh gosh I really hope parents aren't going to drop their kids off at our pool party. I wouldn't at J's age (ending 1st grade) so I assumed parents would stay. Maybe I should hire one of the neighborhood teens to "lifeguard" as an extra set of eyes. For the most part, parents have been really good with us about staying for pool parties. Or at least discussing the kids swimming skill level and asking if a drop off was okay. But longest of wows that one mon did actually drop off a kid who couldn’t swim at a home pool party with no lifeguard without telling anyone that the kid couldn’t swim. So yeah. Keep your head on a swivel and always hire extra help. IMO.
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Post by charlotte on May 7, 2022 16:08:16 GMT -6
milano hiring a life guard is a great idea! Even if parents stay, they may get distracted socializing with one another.
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DGM
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Post by DGM on May 7, 2022 16:44:44 GMT -6
We do know three families with kids similar in age (same school but different class or grade from L) so I may just invite them. It would simplify things, and we're already friends with the parents. This sounds like the perfect solution!
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mapleme
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Post by mapleme on May 7, 2022 17:16:32 GMT -6
M had birthday parties for 4 and 5 years old (a few kids from DC) and the parents all stayed. Then no party for K (COVID), then a small outdoor party for first grade. I stated in the invitation “parents welcome” hoping that parents would stay (she already attended a drop off party so I expected that that might happen). One person asked in advance if they could drop off but then, out of 6 kids, only 2 parents stayed. It was fine, but surprising.
I’ve been noticing this year that more parents are staying, but to expressing hang out with each other, because they already know each other. Maybe we’re getting to know each other because our kids have been in the same small school together for a few years. Or maybe we’re just starved for attention.
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