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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 1, 2021 16:23:57 GMT -6
I don't have any advice tj but that sounds so hard and draining for all of you. I hope that when E is back in school and can talk to the school counselor again that the counselor will have some ideas for her/you. I've always read conflicting stuff about melatonin, too. Have you talked to your family doctor to get his/her opinion on it? Ugh, no. I need to. Family doc time is so hard in these days. Like we have been there so many times Bc of covid testing and her weird skin issues and this and that and I feel like I never have an opportunity to address things like her food issues, her anxiety, her sleep issues, etc with her regular doc. It's tough, I know exactly what you mean! Between myself and the the kids I feel like I'm at the doctor all the time, and yet I still have unaddressed questions and issues 😑
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Post by grumpycakes on Oct 1, 2021 17:01:57 GMT -6
tj hugs! That sounds so hard for everyone. This is just a random thought but have her looked into her diet? I remember sak mentioning a diet change made a world of difference in one of her sons. I think she took out all artificial colors. Maybe sugar too? And I personally notice I feel more anxiety/anger when my blood sugar dips. Do you think a snack before bed might help regulate her emotions a bit? Not like it will be a cure all or anything but I feel like I remember you saying E was a really hearty eater and maybe she’s feeling hungry at that time and it’s not helping?
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Post by ovenrack on Oct 1, 2021 20:47:44 GMT -6
Big hugs, Teej.
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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 2, 2021 11:06:20 GMT -6
tj you have/had colourful hair, right? I've always wanted to do a bright colour and now I want to do it before I feel too old 😅, and my 3yo really wants me to follow through with it lol. But if I do pink or purple etc. does it fade right away? Is it hard to keep up with it?
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tj
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Post by tj on Oct 2, 2021 14:14:57 GMT -6
tj you have/had colourful hair, right? I've always wanted to do a bright colour and now I want to do it before I feel too old 😅, and my 3yo really wants me to follow through with it lol. But if I do pink or purple etc. does it fade right away? Is it hard to keep up with it? What color is your natural hair? If it is naturally light you are good to go. If it is naturally dark, you have to bleach it first so it can be damaging. But it’s truly the only way to make it pop. (However, I have used viral purple shampoo on dark hair before to give it a purple tint in the sun and that is lovely too. But it isn’t that same pop of color.) Once you have a brightly colored head of hair, there are several ways to help it hang. #1, only wash in cold water. Room temp at the warmest. This is much easier to manage in summer than it is in winter. Also you want to wash as infrequently as possible. I wash 1-2x a week. #2 is to avoid things that will make it fade such as the sun, chlorine (ie pools,) and excessive heat styling or products with alcohol. Finally, I love to use a color touch up monthly in the shower such as viral shampoo. It is a color depositing shampoo that helps freshen up your color without another visit to the salon. I only recommend viral Bc it’s the only brand I have personally used, but I do know there are other brands out there. I also like to 1) mix the viral shampoo with my regular shampoo in my hand just to help it foam up better and distribute more evenly throughout your hair and 2) use a deeper conditioner after using this shampoo Bc it is kind of drying. (Also be aware that it is actually hair dye so yes it can stain your bright white tub if you don’t carefully rinse it all out of the tub/shower/grout immediately. It’s dye dude - those reviews drive me insane.) Also, I recommend choosing a color that matches with your skin and hair tone. My skin and hair are naturally warm. It takes pink well, holds pink well, and pink fades beautifully on me. But purple-which is a much cooler tone, just doesn’t work on me. My hair doesn’t take the dye as well, it doesn’t last as long, and when it fades, it doesn’t fade to light purple, it fades to pink. So as much as I have tried to make purple happen, it just won’t happen on me. Lastly, please to post/pm photos Bc I love a good dye job.
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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 2, 2021 15:44:08 GMT -6
Thank you so much for all the tips tj! This is so helpful. My hair is naturally dark. I'm planning to have a professional do the colour so hopefully they know what they're doing in terms of bleach. It's expensive, so I'm hoping I can extend the life of it to make it worthwhile! I'm pretty sure cool colours are better with my skin tone so maybe purple is the way to go. I've also been looking at pics of "oil slick"hair, which is purple, green, and blue combos. I'll definitely post a pic when it's done!
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sarenu
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Post by sarenu on Oct 2, 2021 16:19:35 GMT -6
Also ask for the price and cost of upkeep.
You will need to do more than one processing and it will be a hefty price tag. I say this so that you know what you are getting into with the process.
Also ask about the process to bring it back to your regular color. And what it will look like faded.
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tj
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Post by tj on Oct 2, 2021 17:04:44 GMT -6
When I had it solid rose gold, I was able to keep it up at home with the above routine for 6 months. At the end of 6 months of that, I let it fade and ended up with a pretty pastel pink that I was able to maintain for about 6 more weeks until my darker roots were just too grown out. Although she had bleached all of my hair, she had bayalaged the roots, and that helps it grow out with a better sort of ombré than straight line.
So maybe mention if you are looking for something with more or less upkeep. And while the multiple colors (oil slick now, mermaid back in my day) that definitely requires more upkeep and would not be as easy for you to touch up at home with the shampoo.
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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 2, 2021 17:38:49 GMT -6
Also ask for the price and cost of upkeep. You will need to do more than one processing and it will be a hefty price tag. I say this so that you know what you are getting into with the process. Also ask about the process to bring it back to your regular color. And what it will look like faded. All good questions, thanks! The place I want to go to has online booking and I saw that vivid colour appointments are 4 hours. I'll call on Monday to ask about multiple sessions and potential costs of upkeep.
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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 2, 2021 17:40:48 GMT -6
When I had it solid rose gold, I was able to keep it up at home with the above routine for 6 months. At the end of 6 months of that, I let it fade and ended up with a pretty pastel pink that I was able to maintain for about 6 more weeks until my darker roots were just too grown out. Although she had bleached all of my hair, she had bayalaged the roots, and that helps it grow out with a better sort of ombré than straight line. So maybe mention if you are looking for something with more or less upkeep. And while the multiple colors (oil slick now, mermaid back in my day) that definitely requires more upkeep and would not be as easy for you to touch up at home with the shampoo. 6 months is great! I'd be happy to get 3 or 4. But I will definitely ask about how different colours will look as they fade. I was planning to do a balayage style colour anyway, for the root issue. Good point about the multiple colours. I think I'm leaning towards purple. I like pastel colours but I know that takes even more lightening, so we'll see.
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tj
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Post by tj on Oct 2, 2021 18:03:49 GMT -6
When I had it solid rose gold, I was able to keep it up at home with the above routine for 6 months. At the end of 6 months of that, I let it fade and ended up with a pretty pastel pink that I was able to maintain for about 6 more weeks until my darker roots were just too grown out. Although she had bleached all of my hair, she had bayalaged the roots, and that helps it grow out with a better sort of ombré than straight line. So maybe mention if you are looking for something with more or less upkeep. And while the multiple colors (oil slick now, mermaid back in my day) that definitely requires more upkeep and would not be as easy for you to touch up at home with the shampoo. 6 months is great! I'd be happy to get 3 or 4. But I will definitely ask about how different colours will look as they fade. I was planning to do a balayage style colour anyway, for the root issue. Good point about the multiple colours. I think I'm leaning towards purple. I like pastel colours but I know that takes even more lightening, so we'll see. Even if you want pastel, go darker so it can fade and you have more time in total with color.
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Oct 2, 2021 21:27:41 GMT -6
I’m sorry about the bedtime struggles tj. I wish I had something helpful to add. I think trying some bedtime mindfulness could be a good thing. It has been helpful for me personally over the last year, since I started struggling with anxiety and intrusive thoughts at night time.
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Oct 2, 2021 21:51:37 GMT -6
My pretty colors were vibrant for 3-4 months and hadn't totally washed out after a year plus. I totally enjoy having funky colored hair, I say it's like having art on your head =)
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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 3, 2021 6:32:43 GMT -6
C wakes up too early most mornings. Like at around 530. Once a week or so she sleeps till 7 and gives us hope, but I feel like the exhaustion and unpredictability is slowly killing me. I'm hiding in the guest room right now because I do not have it in me to go upstairs and start parenting. My older kids never really woke up before 7 so I really feel like I have failed somehow with C.
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sarenu
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Post by sarenu on Oct 3, 2021 9:40:44 GMT -6
Drinking coffee and working on a Thor costume from scratch. I think I’m going to start on the bracer and belt first. I bought leggings from target that will pass for faux leather, but I need to find a black shirt to wear under it. The cape I plan to follow the pattern I have for E. I just need a plan for the skirt back.
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mapleme
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Post by mapleme on Oct 3, 2021 18:04:44 GMT -6
C wakes up too early most mornings. Like at around 530. Once a week or so she sleeps till 7 and gives us hope, but I feel like the exhaustion and unpredictability is slowly killing me. I'm hiding in the guest room right now because I do not have it in me to go upstairs and start parenting. My older kids never really woke up before 7 so I really feel like I have failed somehow with C. I have no advice, except maybe try earlier bedtimes (counterintuitively). M used to wake up at 5:30 on a good day. 4:30 on a bad day. It was rough to say the least.
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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 3, 2021 18:30:56 GMT -6
C wakes up too early most mornings. Like at around 530. Once a week or so she sleeps till 7 and gives us hope, but I feel like the exhaustion and unpredictability is slowly killing me. I'm hiding in the guest room right now because I do not have it in me to go upstairs and start parenting. My older kids never really woke up before 7 so I really feel like I have failed somehow with C. I have no advice, except maybe try earlier bedtimes (counterintuitively). M used to wake up at 5:30 on a good day. 4:30 on a bad day. It was rough to say the least. Thanks! I do typically aim for earlier becomes to address earlier wakings. Right now we're doing bedtime at 6pm because we are trying a one nap schedule. I hesitate to go earlier than 6 because I feel I can only reasonably expect 12 hours of sleep. The first two nights we did this schedule she slept 6pm to 7am and we were so thrilled, but now the early wake ups are back. I tried a 630 bedtime tonight just in case, but if she wakes early again tomorrow we'll try a two nap schedule again. I'm obsessive about tweaking schedules to fix sleep issues and I was always able to solve problems with my other kids. C is just really throwing me for a loop and I have no chill about sleep. It gives me major anxiety. Did M eventually grow out of her early wake ups?
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mapleme
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Post by mapleme on Oct 3, 2021 19:14:39 GMT -6
I have no advice, except maybe try earlier bedtimes (counterintuitively). M used to wake up at 5:30 on a good day. 4:30 on a bad day. It was rough to say the least. Thanks! I do typically aim for earlier becomes to address earlier wakings. Right now we're doing bedtime at 6pm because we are trying a one nap schedule. I hesitate to go earlier than 6 because I feel I can only reasonably expect 12 hours of sleep. The first two nights we did this schedule she slept 6pm to 7am and we were so thrilled, but now the early wake ups are back. I tried a 630 bedtime tonight just in case, but if she wakes early again tomorrow we'll try a two nap schedule again. I'm obsessive about tweaking schedules to fix sleep issues and I was always able to solve problems with my other kids. C is just really throwing me for a loop and I have no chill about sleep. It gives me major anxiety. Did M eventually grow out of her early wake ups? M was going to bed around 5:30 back when she woke up that early. We had to rush her home from day care and put her right to bed. It was weird. But it did mean that I could give her her first MOTN feeding before I went to bed. And yes she outgrew her early wake ups! I think the insanely early wake ups ended with some nap transition (my memory is fuzzy from lack of sleep). M (7yo) goes to bed around 7, to sleep around 8 and wakes up about 6:30 am. One thing that caught me off guard with the kids waking up early was morning sounds. DH and I set the heat to come on before we woke up, and that would wake up the cats and the cats would run up and down the hall and wake up the girls. Once I figured that out, I closed a couple doors to give the cats less running room and then the girls slept in later. The other, somewhat similar problem, was not realizing that M's bed being right under the sky light would be a problem. The skylight was covered for darkness, but it still let down a shower of cold in the winter. If she scooted down at all while sleeping she would be right in that cold shower and then would wake up. That one took me a stupid amount of time to figure out. Sleep issues are no joke. I had no sleep issues pre-children. But I still have sleep issues from pregnancy and the early years and have zero tolerance for man or beast who disturbs what sleep I can get.
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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 3, 2021 20:25:29 GMT -6
Thanks! I do typically aim for earlier becomes to address earlier wakings. Right now we're doing bedtime at 6pm because we are trying a one nap schedule. I hesitate to go earlier than 6 because I feel I can only reasonably expect 12 hours of sleep. The first two nights we did this schedule she slept 6pm to 7am and we were so thrilled, but now the early wake ups are back. I tried a 630 bedtime tonight just in case, but if she wakes early again tomorrow we'll try a two nap schedule again. I'm obsessive about tweaking schedules to fix sleep issues and I was always able to solve problems with my other kids. C is just really throwing me for a loop and I have no chill about sleep. It gives me major anxiety. Did M eventually grow out of her early wake ups? M was going to bed around 5:30 back when she woke up that early. We had to rush her home from day care and put her right to bed. It was weird. But it did mean that I could give her her first MOTN feeding before I went to bed. And yes she outgrew her early wake ups! I think the insanely early wake ups ended with some nap transition (my memory is fuzzy from lack of sleep). M (7yo) goes to bed around 7, to sleep around 8 and wakes up about 6:30 am. One thing that caught me off guard with the kids waking up early was morning sounds. DH and I set the heat to come on before we woke up, and that would wake up the cats and the cats would run up and down the hall and wake up the girls. Once I figured that out, I closed a couple doors to give the cats less running room and then the girls slept in later. The other, somewhat similar problem, was not realizing that M's bed being right under the sky light would be a problem. The skylight was covered for darkness, but it still let down a shower of cold in the winter. If she scooted down at all while sleeping she would be right in that cold shower and then would wake up. That one took me a stupid amount of time to figure out. Sleep issues are no joke. I had no sleep issues pre-children. But I still have sleep issues from pregnancy and the early years and have zero tolerance for man or beast who disturbs what sleep I can get. I'm glad to hear it's something M outgrew eventually! I'll keep troubleshooting. I'm hoping that once she evens out on the two- to one-nap transition that it'll get better. I think she was overtired tonight so I don't have high hopes for tomorrow 😭
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mc13
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Post by mc13 on Oct 4, 2021 7:52:27 GMT -6
I have no advice, except maybe try earlier bedtimes (counterintuitively). M used to wake up at 5:30 on a good day. 4:30 on a bad day. It was rough to say the least. Thanks! I do typically aim for earlier becomes to address earlier wakings. Right now we're doing bedtime at 6pm because we are trying a one nap schedule. I hesitate to go earlier than 6 because I feel I can only reasonably expect 12 hours of sleep. The first two nights we did this schedule she slept 6pm to 7am and we were so thrilled, but now the early wake ups are back. I tried a 630 bedtime tonight just in case, but if she wakes early again tomorrow we'll try a two nap schedule again. I'm obsessive about tweaking schedules to fix sleep issues and I was always able to solve problems with my other kids. C is just really throwing me for a loop and I have no chill about sleep. It gives me major anxiety. Did M eventually grow out of her early wake ups? E and A did this for a few months too. It was dreadful. They did eventually outgrow the 5am wake ups. Still at 5yo (E and A) and 6yo (R), we do pretty early bedtime and they're up around 6:30am.
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Post by mintyblueair on Oct 4, 2021 8:12:13 GMT -6
Thanks! I do typically aim for earlier becomes to address earlier wakings. Right now we're doing bedtime at 6pm because we are trying a one nap schedule. I hesitate to go earlier than 6 because I feel I can only reasonably expect 12 hours of sleep. The first two nights we did this schedule she slept 6pm to 7am and we were so thrilled, but now the early wake ups are back. I tried a 630 bedtime tonight just in case, but if she wakes early again tomorrow we'll try a two nap schedule again. I'm obsessive about tweaking schedules to fix sleep issues and I was always able to solve problems with my other kids. C is just really throwing me for a loop and I have no chill about sleep. It gives me major anxiety. Did M eventually grow out of her early wake ups? E and A did this for a few months too. It was dreadful. They did eventually outgrow the 5am wake ups. Still at 5yo (E and A) and 6yo (R), we do pretty early bedtime and they're up around 6:30am. I hope she outgrows it soon 🤞 She slept until 6am this morning. I would take 630 at this point but I'd really like to get back to 7am. I'm debating on trying two naps today. Baby sleep can be so confusing!
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Post by MrTerrible on Oct 4, 2021 13:48:19 GMT -6
PDQ
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sarenu
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Post by sarenu on Oct 4, 2021 14:35:18 GMT -6
Sorry ITK.
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Post by charlotte on Oct 4, 2021 14:58:41 GMT -6
Wtf @itk 😞
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tj
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Post by tj on Oct 4, 2021 17:22:40 GMT -6
What in the holy hell? Who does that?!
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milano
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Post by milano on Oct 4, 2021 17:39:40 GMT -6
Ugh ITK I'm sorry, I would be so upset too. Kids can truly be such assholes.
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Post by MrTerrible on Oct 4, 2021 18:03:15 GMT -6
Like I am well aware that at nine years old this kid is probably completely unaware of the history or context of that word, but he must have learned it from somewhere and ughhhh I am so pissed.
My kid IS fully aware of the history and context of that word, and was wracked with guilt for having been a part of the situation in the first place (although I obviously assured her wasn't her fault). But just like, fuck this whole situation, and fuck whoever/however this other child was introduced to this also.
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Post by charlotte on Oct 7, 2021 7:42:24 GMT -6
I don’t know what Squid Game is and I’m afraid to find out.
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tj
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Post by tj on Oct 7, 2021 8:18:34 GMT -6
I don’t know what Squid Game is and I’m afraid to find out. Omg same same same.
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sarenu
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Post by sarenu on Oct 7, 2021 8:34:37 GMT -6
I don’t know what Squid Game is and I’m afraid to find out. We started it last night. But we also liked Alice in Borderland. Which is very similar.
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