UPDATE IN POST Not Swimming at a Pool Party

[tj]

So we are having E’s soccer team over to swim after soccer practice Saturday. I have gained so much weight since my injury and the pandemic, none of my swimsuits fit. Nor do any of my shorts.

I wouldn’t be comfortable in a swimsuit in front of these people anyway. But like, what do I wear? Too hot for jeans, shorts don’t fit, swimsuits don’t fit. But I still want to look cute.

I am struggling so hard with my looks right now. I’m so sad and miserable and disappointed in myself. How can I look cute and manage this pool party when I’m going to feel so awful about myself?

[rhymeswithdisco]

A tank top/short sleeved shirt and skirt? A sundress?

[mintyblueair]

Do you have any summery dresses you could wear?

[charlotte]

I haven’t looked this year but usually target has some cute “pool dresses” that can go over a swimsuit or could probably just be worn over a sports bra or something. Not too expensive, either.

I feel you, friend. We are taking the kids to the pool Sunday and I don’t have any Jean shorts or swimsuits that fit. 😞

[tj]

I have a couple of just plain tshirt or tank dresses. But this is so dumb.... I don’t know what to wear under them. I’m a thong gal, but my state is stupid windy. And I got my tshirt dress blown over my head in a parking lot one time and never wore them again.

I would like to wear something like bike shorts underneath, but it somehow accentuates my rolls and I look like a lumpy sausage. And tshirt dresses are so thin, VPL is constant.

[mintyblueair]

Are any of your dresses maxi dresses? I feel like they would be unlikely to blow completely up.

Otherwise you could wear a bathing suit underneath, so that if it blows up you'll just look like you were prepared to go swimming.

[tj]

But they don’t fit lol.

[milano]

The what-to-wear-under-a-dress conundrum is very real and I struggle with it as well. If you would feel comfortable with your body in a dress, I would wear one with whatever underwear you are comfortable in, even if it is a thong. I am assuming it is too late to run out and pick up something new?

[tj]

Jun 3, 2021 10:44:31 GMT -6 milano said:

The what-to-wear-under-a-dress conundrum is very real and I struggle with it as well. If you would feel comfortable with your body in a dress, I would wear one with whatever underwear you are comfortable in, even if it is a thong. I am assuming it is too late to run out and pick up something new?

I mean maybe I could. But why would I want to spend money in clothing that hopefully won’t fit much longer? I can’t keep being this heavy. Something has to change. (Edited Bc I’m a jerk.)

[milano]

Jun 3, 2021 10:59:39 GMT -6 tj said:

Jun 3, 2021 10:44:31 GMT -6 milano said:

The what-to-wear-under-a-dress conundrum is very real and I struggle with it as well. If you would feel comfortable with your body in a dress, I would wear one with whatever underwear you are comfortable in, even if it is a thong. I am assuming it is too late to run out and pick up something new?

I mean maybe I could. But why would I want to spend money in clothing that hopefully won’t fit much longer? I can’t keep being this heavy. Something has to change. I won’t buy fat clothes.

*for me* it would be worth it to spend a few bucks on something that would make me feel comfortable. Don't think of them as fat clothes - think of them as clothes that fit your body's current shape. When I am over my preferred weight (aka, every day) I am much more comfortable/happy with myself if I am wearing something that fits and not something that is too snug and I'm making myself wear it to try and motivate me or something. I just get pissed off and feel worse.

[sarenu]

I’d buy a new dress.

Or buy a new suit and wear a sarong.

If you are going to be pool side with the kids a lot this summer, you can get decent usage out of both and feel good wearing them.

I had a mental breakdown about a month ago when I realized I have 1 pair of pants I can kind of squeeze into and finally gave in to order some new shorts.....

Also I will rock a sarong in a suit any day.

[charlotte]

Also I feel like casual pool/summer dresses will also work even if you lose a bunch of weight: they’ll just be a little oversized, which can be cute depending on the dress! I think it’s worth it to spend a little $ so you can have something to wear this summer.

[charlotte]

This reminds me of the time I wore full-length jeans to a pool party in July in Mississippi. I was the largest I’ve ever been and NOTHING fit. I know it feels bad, friend.

If you ever need a workout or diet accountability buddy, I’m here.

[milano]

Jun 3, 2021 13:15:40 GMT -6 charlotte said:

This reminds me of the time I wore full-length jeans to a pool party in July in Mississippi. I was the largest I’ve ever been and NOTHING fit. I know it feels bad, friend.

If you ever need a workout or diet accountability buddy, I’m here.

Oh my word, I just overheated reading that sentence.

[ovenrack]

I support whatever you want to do. I love having breezy linen button-downs to throw over whatever if I want an extra layer that’s not hot.

I want to super gently urge you to examine your language about “fat clothes.” Not trying to unravel the whole world and language issues here, but I hope you can find a way to enjoy yourself at the party. <3

[tj]

Jun 4, 2021 8:00:46 GMT -6 ovenrack said:

I support whatever you want to do. I love having breezy linen button-downs to throw over whatever if I want an extra layer that’s not hot.

I want to super gently urge you to examine your language about “fat clothes.” Not trying to unravel the whole world and language issues here, but I hope you can find a way to enjoy yourself at the party. <3

I know. I know. I just feel like I have nowhere that I am able to vent about how extremely frustrated I am with myself and how much weight I’ve gained and how much muscle I’ve lost. I refuse to degrade my looks or size in front of my children Bc I don’t want them to be like me. And mh just shuts me down when I need to whine or complain about my body. And sometimes I just need to get ugly words out of my head so I can quit obsessing over it. But I know it isn’t right to use that word in that manner. And I’m sorry if I hurt or offended anyone with that phrase. I usually try very hard to be body positive and truly believe in fit at all sizes. I will do better with my language.

[tj]

Follow up if anyone cares. I got this outfit from target. It felt pretty good. Highly recommend these pants.