kleigh
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Post by kleigh on Jul 15, 2017 9:26:25 GMT -6
My babies are napping in their cribs!! Ok there was some cheating involved. I bumped the sleep talk thread bc don't want to post such long sleep stuff here - boring.
MIL is coming over today, we need to paint the pantry closets and stain the wood shelving we bought yesterday. Then hopefully H can install the shelving tomorrow and we can start using the pantries this week. We never unpacked ALL of our stuff bc I didn't want to have to move it twice and with the twins or days were pretty spoken for, not a lot of cooking or serving, etc - we used the same few things over and over. I should mention I really would rather use the time for a martini lunch since it's the end of our "vacation" but H is all responsible and stuff.
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Post by classymrsa on Jul 15, 2017 9:49:35 GMT -6
YES. it all of a sudden snuck up on me. This year just flew by. This happened to me too. I feel like every month between birth and one year was so marked for us, but the year between one and two escaped me, even though so much happened. It makes me sad. I thought I would try to be better about documenting each month once he turned two but he's already 2.5 and I haven't really followed through. It's flying by 😢 Yup. I was ready for 1. I was ready for 2. I know I won't be surprised by 3, but I'm surprised at how fast we're at 2 and 3/4. She's changed so so much and it's shocking. I keep wondering what happened to my little baby and where this chatty pre-school type kid came from.
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danib
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Post by danib on Jul 15, 2017 10:54:22 GMT -6
Hey ladies. We decided to go to my friends Camper yesterday and ended up spending the night. We were up late so are quite tired, but I think we both really needed the night out.
DH is booked for some on-call work. Right now he's going to take whatever they offer him, because the work isn't guaranteed and could run out at anytime. So he's leaving Monday and we expect him to be gone for a full month.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Jul 15, 2017 12:54:14 GMT -6
@how frustrating tjanca22. I'm glad you guys got a full refund, but I'm sure you would have preferred to just enjoy your vacation in peace instead. Yay for awesome sleep vino!! sophiegrace, we put a gate up with DS1, he was 9 months at Christmas and into everything. I'm with you flamingo, I don't shop ahead either. I've tried and I just end up forgetting that I even bought anything and we end up with a crap ton of stuff. Also, shopping during Christmas time always gets me excited for the holiday. I'm so sorry classymrsa! I can imagine how disappointed you are! I hope you're able to find an awesome alternative. Have fun at (on? I don't know to Cape speak) the Cape!! Happy Birthday to your grandma waitwhat! MH's great grandmother lived to be 102, I miss talking with her, she had the best stories! Sounds like you had fun last night goldenlove! 2am is an hour I only see when there's a tiny human screaming at me. kleigh, hey whatever works lady! I'm happy they're both napping in their cribs though! danib, I'm glad he's able to pick up some work but I'm sorry he's going to be gone for a month.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Jul 15, 2017 12:56:11 GMT -6
We have that 3 ceremony 1 reception wedding today. I'm really interested to see how this is going to turn out. I also can't wait for an open bar.
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danib
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Post by danib on Jul 15, 2017 13:03:02 GMT -6
Have fun tonight jubilantsquirrel. And let us know, I'm curious about it as well.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Jul 15, 2017 13:48:21 GMT -6
Ughhhhhhhhh, I am having my worst day ever with DS. Like, I am at a loss. He is not listening to any directions, doing the opposite of whatever I say, and laughing at me as I'm trying to correct his behaviour. He is currently in time out locked in my room because I can't trust myself to not completely lose it otherwise. I tried to rally to take a walk so I could get fresh air, but he lost that privilege when he wasn't cooperating to get ready. Dd is still sick and whiny and he also woke her up from a nap. Mh doesn't get home until tomorrow afternoon. I really hope I can make it. Bedtime can not come soon enough!!!!!
Does anyone have any defiant toddler tips or book recs????
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dashook
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Post by dashook on Jul 15, 2017 14:06:37 GMT -6
hangry oh I'm so sorry you're having a day like that. I've been there with DS and it's awful. I don't have any real tips other than just to tell you what I do, which honestly is just redirection, and, if that doesn't work out, then time outs. As many as he (or you) needs. And maybe some positive reinforcement if he does come around (a treat or outing of some kind)?
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Jul 15, 2017 15:00:05 GMT -6
Thanks dashook. But he physically won't stay in timeout. He runs away and laughs. I sometimes have to physically put him there and have even physically held him there. But that obviously defeats the purpose. Either way, i don't do that much because it's not healthy for anyone. I don't know how to get him to buy into it.
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kleigh
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Post by kleigh on Jul 15, 2017 15:04:23 GMT -6
Thanks dashook. But he physically won't stay in timeout. He runs away and laughs. I sometimes have to physically put him there and have even physically held him there. But that obviously defeats the purpose. Either way, i don't do that much because it's not healthy for anyone. I don't know how to get him to buy into it. Ok totally FTM and haven't thought this through. But have you tried going in time out? Maybe do something "wrong" innocently enough and put yourself in timeout so he sees that's what happens when we misbehave?
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Post by flamingo on Jul 15, 2017 15:36:43 GMT -6
I'm sorry hangry, I know days like that are rough. The toddler and preschool days are so fun in many ways but beyond frustrating in others.
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Post by sophiegrace on Jul 15, 2017 15:39:01 GMT -6
I am so sorry hangry. I'm honestly not sure what I would do and since I don't have any experience I think what you are doing sounds reasonable. The laughing...man would that put me over the edge.
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danib
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Post by danib on Jul 15, 2017 15:39:32 GMT -6
Thanks dashook. But he physically won't stay in timeout. He runs away and laughs. I sometimes have to physically put him there and have even physically held him there. But that obviously defeats the purpose. Either way, i don't do that much because it's not healthy for anyone. I don't know how to get him to buy into it. I had to do this with C a few times when he was first learning time out. It's obviously not ideal, but yeah. He did learn that the quicker he sat in his spot, the quicker the time out would be over. The biggest thing is, whatever you choose for discipline/consequences, you HAVE to stick to it. The minute you give in, you are starting from square one again. Also, we are big on natural/logical consequences (not eating dinner = no dessert, throwing toys = take away the toys, etc). Also if you're trying to get out for a walk, that you all really need, I wouldn't take away the walk as a consequence. I might take away whatever it is he is using to distract from getting ready, or something else depending on the exact situation. We also do 1-2-3. This is our most effective tool. There's a book on it, 1-2-3 Magic, that I always recommend to people. It really helps you understand the traps we get ourselves into when trying to implement consequences, which helpe to not get stuck in a power struggle.
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Post by sophiegrace on Jul 15, 2017 15:57:04 GMT -6
::adds 1-2-3 magic to Amazon cart::
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danib
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Post by danib on Jul 15, 2017 16:19:59 GMT -6
Ugh when it rains it pours. I'm pretty sure we have a busted pipe or something with our heated floor. Water is seeping up through the grout (ceramic tile). No clue how to pay for this. I would assume our home insurance would cover it right???
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Post by classymrsa on Jul 15, 2017 16:23:16 GMT -6
hangry Oh yes, we've been there. The laughing... It drives me insane. It's better now, but for a while she just laughed all the time when she did things she wasn't supposed to. For time out, we make her sit in her chair for 2 minutes and then we talk to her about what to do in the future and why. We do timeout when she doesn't listen or does something dangerous/hurtful. I've found we have way less timeout by using choices and counting. She likes to do things herself so I'll say that she can do it herself (Lillian choice) or I will do it for her (mommy choice). Then I count to 10. I use this when she has to do something like get in her carseat or take a bath. We try to always present choices so she has options for how to behave and it helps cut down on power struggles. It also helps set expectations for what will happen if she chooses to not follow directions. It's helped a lot.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Jul 15, 2017 17:17:57 GMT -6
kleigh it's funny that you recommend giving myself a timeout because I have to do that sometimes so I don't freak out! I should explain what I'm doing in his terms and maybe he'll want to take a breather himself when he's getting riled up! danib I think you're right. I try to make the consequence about whatever the problem was but I chose wrong with the walk today. We all needed to get out. It might have saved our afternoon. I should have found another related consequence to punish with. Lesson learned. I will definitely be checking that book out. I clearly need some more tools in my arsenal! classymrsa Counting is something that does have success, but I don't always think of it! I think they must use it at daycare. I have to remember to use it more. Choices on the other hand, don't work if he already made up his mind No. He will just no everything or do something completely unrelated/opposite. I think today was especially bad because he was on day 3 without a nap. As lack of sleep accumulates, he gets more and more defiant/ poor listening. He's already asleep now for the night, so I'm hoping for a long night and a fresh start tomorrow. My h is home by 1pm. I'm counting down.
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tallb
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Post by tallb on Jul 15, 2017 17:18:08 GMT -6
Ughhhhhhhhh, I am having my worst day ever with DS. Like, I am at a loss. He is not listening to any directions, doing the opposite of whatever I say, and laughing at me as I'm trying to correct his behaviour. He is currently in time out locked in my room because I can't trust myself to not completely lose it otherwise. I tried to rally to take a walk so I could get fresh air, but he lost that privilege when he wasn't cooperating to get ready. Dd is still sick and whiny and he also woke her up from a nap. Mh doesn't get home until tomorrow afternoon. I really hope I can make it. Bedtime can not come soon enough!!!!! Does anyone have any defiant toddler tips or book recs???? I can relate on so many levels. Hang in there. J acts like that regularly and we kind of stopped doing time outs bc they don't work for him. Instead I hold him in a bear hug and say I'm going to keep us both safe until you are ready to make good choices. I often have to basically pin him bc he tries to hit and kick me. Then within a few minutes he will stop, say he's ready to make good choices, apologize, and we move on. Often I have a harder time moving on though 😵. Here's the link to a book his teacher recommended. It takes work but it does seem to help. Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, Revised and Updated Edition: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident www.amazon.com/dp/0804141185/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_jgQAzbV938X4W
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Post by goldenlove on Jul 15, 2017 17:20:16 GMT -6
All this talk is making me nervous about having a toddler. I'm so worried I'm going to screw him up.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Jul 15, 2017 17:22:11 GMT -6
danib oh my god, what poor luck! I have no idea about house stuff. I hope insurance will help! Maybe a contractor to physically do the work? jubilantsquirrel I'm eager to hear about this wedding. I can't quite imagine how it would work with 3 separate couples!
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Jul 15, 2017 17:24:17 GMT -6
Ughhhhhhhhh, I am having my worst day ever with DS. Like, I am at a loss. He is not listening to any directions, doing the opposite of whatever I say, and laughing at me as I'm trying to correct his behaviour. He is currently in time out locked in my room because I can't trust myself to not completely lose it otherwise. I tried to rally to take a walk so I could get fresh air, but he lost that privilege when he wasn't cooperating to get ready. Dd is still sick and whiny and he also woke her up from a nap. Mh doesn't get home until tomorrow afternoon. I really hope I can make it. Bedtime can not come soon enough!!!!! Does anyone have any defiant toddler tips or book recs???? I can relate on so many levels. Hang in there. J acts like that regularly and we kind of stopped doing time outs bc they don't work for him. Instead I hold him in a bear hug and say I'm going to keep us both safe until you are ready to make good choices. I often have to basically pin him bc he tries to hit and kick me. Then within a few minutes he will stop, say he's ready to make good choices, apologize, and we move on. Often I have a harder time moving on though 😵. Here's the link to a book his teacher recommended. It takes work but it does seem to help. Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, Revised and Updated Edition: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident www.amazon.com/dp/0804141185/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_jgQAzbV938X4W Yes yes yes tallb. I've had to do that to him too. Just last night in fact! It's like he has no idea what his body is doing. I will also be looking at this book. Thank you so much for the rec!
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Jul 15, 2017 17:28:15 GMT -6
The comforting thought goldenlove is that not all toddlers are so defiant/ strong willed. Let's hope C has an easy going nature to him! I'm really hoping I am paying my dues with DS and that DD will be a breeze.
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Post by classymrsa on Jul 15, 2017 17:40:44 GMT -6
hangry The "everything is no" thing is awful. That's part of why it's a "you do this or I will do it for you" for things she has to do. I try to give her the option of making the choice to do it herself. It took some time for her to get it, but it's great now. We'll also throw in the "nothing" choice. Like, do this or this or do nothing. Sometimes the do nothing choice ends up with her screaming on the floor. Fine. Scream. This used to end up being 30-45 minutes of watching her cry. Now it's about 5 minutes and then she calms down. I don't know if that's helpful or not, just wanted to add how we deal with the everything is no thing. Oh, also, sometimes she just says no to everything but when I ask if she's sure, she'll change her mind and something turns into a yes. Like, I'll say do you want to go in the backyard or the front room and she just says no. So I'll say are you sure you don't want to go outside and play with the pool (knowing it's what she'd prefer) and she'll suddenly say yes.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Jul 15, 2017 17:47:12 GMT -6
That is helpful classymrsa. I think I generally need to be more consistent with some of these tactics. My inconsistencies isn't helping him. at. all.
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Post by cookswithwine on Jul 15, 2017 18:38:58 GMT -6
Hey all! I have been so busy at work lately that I haven't been able to check in here. It has not been fun. I hope it slows down soon. I'm debating switching teams if I get offered the job I interviewed for. But unfortunately it would be on the same project just a different role so I don't know if that's the right move. O has pink eye again! He also had a fever tonight. I might need to take him back to the ped on Monday for some oral antibiotics. I could tell he was not feeling well. Ugh I'm a negative nancy lately
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Post by tjanca22 on Jul 15, 2017 18:49:30 GMT -6
danib, I'm so sorry about the bad string of luck. I hope things turn a corner for you guys soon. hangry, I'm sorry today has been rough. Parenting is so so so tough with these toddlers and doing it solo is even harder sometimes. There's been so many days where I've counted down hours until H came home. I hope bedtime is a breeze and tomorrow goes better. Hugs girl! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Jul 15, 2017 20:03:37 GMT -6
This is by far the most eclectic wedding I've ever been too! I'll post details later, but here's a pretty pic of the water.
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Post by sophiegrace on Jul 15, 2017 20:59:47 GMT -6
danib is it your main form of heat, or just an additional source? Do you have access to the pipes from underneath at all or are they embedded? I know they're all different, but some variations will let you bleed the water out of the pipes keeping the damage from getting worse and possibly buy you some time. It's not in the kitchen is it? We had a long term water leak from our kitchen sink and somehow all the water went under (and eventually seeped up through) our flooring. We haven't replaced that section of flooring yet because the whole downstairs needs to get redone and it was a relatively simple fix in the piping.
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Post by sophiegrace on Jul 15, 2017 21:01:06 GMT -6
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Jul 15, 2017 21:57:00 GMT -6
My friend's husband is drunk AF and hitting on me hard core. Just to give you an idea of my night so far.
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