Its the weekend!

[vino]

Morning.

It’s almost lunch and i’ve done mine and my neighbours grocery shopping, sold our oversized in the way coffee table, dropped off items to goodwill and am currently sitting in the carwash. We’ve having spring like temps which is fantastic but my white car says no thanks.

J woke up with a sneezy snotty nose so it’ll be a chill day. Christmas decorations are on the line up for this afternoon.

[inthekitty]

tgrimes that's what I was thinking. 😕 I'd imagine between your mom's personality issues and younger age, and with her not personally experiencing a lot of health issues the way your dad is, I figure she's able to somewhat be in denial about the situation. She's still "young/old" at her age so probably sees herself with a lot of meaningful years left and not some "elderly" person who requires a lot of care. But unfortunately your dad is. 🙁 I hope she sees the light soon.

[klong11]

Took some Christmas card photos of Cadence today. I'll take her out again tomorrow in a different outfit and location.

[mwhip]

We ended up grabbing lunch at a BBQ place that is at the end of a small airport runway. We saw 3 planes land and 1 take off, which Evie thought was really cool. We will definitely be going back.

Think we are going to run to Target then hopefully lay low.

[jewels]

Dec 5, 2020 12:13:35 GMT -6 inthekitty said:

jewels , I would ask his PCM for a OT/psychological assessment (or if his teacher knows if he has early access in your area for a school psychologist to evaluate him). They could help develop a plan to best meet his needs and know the best providers in the area for referrals. Good luck. I'm sorry he's still having these issues and hope he gets in a program that helps him progress.

Thank you - as far as I am aware, around here the school team only gets involved if we are sending him to the town preschool as that's where they offer their services.  We are not interested in that at this time (it's all remote and he NEEDS to be in person right now!)

His dr has sort of blown me off about my concerns.  But honestly, I've had development concerns his whole life and I'm kicking myself for not pushing for EI when he was younger.  

The DC provider is so sweet.  And she adores him, which is great.  However, due to changes in the program (at the last minute they opened a private K to help the families who didn't want to be remote), the teachers with all the experience moved into those classrooms.  His teacher used to be the teacher who ran the "specials" at the DC - ie she would come in for 30 minutes and teach a science lesson or a music class.  As such, she is fabulously creative - which I love - but she doesn't have the classroom experience FT with these kids.  I fear she is in over her head with him lol.

I emailed her all my concerns the other day and she said she is going to meet with the director before our conference.  Specifically to discuss if she believes there is a need for intervention.  I guess I'll see what she says.  

[tgrimes]

klong11 Cute!

[chrisy01]

[mention]klongoria11 [/mention] love it.

[lfig]

jewels I know this may vary from state to state...but here in MO and I believe probably most everywhere else, the school district has an obligation and the responsibility to provide testing and services (if the child qualifies) after the child turns 3. Whether they are in the school or not.

In our case, it was easy for multiple reasons. 1) S was in the EI program so that made transitioning to the school district easy. And 2) S has obvious developmental challenges and a think stack of paperwork to back it up. But when she turned 3, she was at a private day care. The therapists went to the day care to provide her services. I also know some people who did not attend school or day care/preschool, and they took their child to the school for services 2x a week. All that so say, it shouldn’t matter if he is going to their preschool or not.

Now, to play devil’s advocate here...in my experience, we have had better quality of services when we sought out outpatient therapy services. And you will understand what I mean there in my next post that is going to just be me venting a tad. But I would push for the pedi to do a referral for evaluation. And go that route. Is there a NP that you ever see in the practice? Sometimes I feel like the NP’s are more apt to listen to the parents concerns better and just do what we ask.

[lfig]

jewels I did a super quick, not thorough, search and sent you a link for the possibility of self referral since your pedi blows you off. I think I got your state right...lol. But check your PM’s.

[lfig]

Ok, time for a vent. I got a call from the special education coordinator at S’s school the other day. I was caught off guard by the conversation. Basically she said they have felt S has become stagnant in her progress and even feel like she might have regressed since last year. I was shocked to hear that, and a little frustrated that it’s December and it’s the first concern I’ve heard. I feel like at home we are seeing her do more and more and seeing progress. Her outpatient therapists have said the same as me. *FTR, I don’t think my special snowflake is perfect and I’m glad they brought up concerns...I just have seen something totally different and that’s why I was caught off guard*

I am glad they called to express the concerns but just frustrated they didn’t say something sooner. However, they are wanting to see what they can do differently to help her progress at school. So next week the teachers are going to come observe her outpatient therapies. And visit with the therapists. Try to get some ideas for changing things up. And then the outpatient therapists are going to go spend time at the school and offer ideas to better provide what S needs for an optimal learning experience.

I think part of the problem is that S is so cute and sweet and snuggly that they don’t push her to make her do the things she doesn’t want to do. They just give her what she wants when she wants. She needs people to push her and be firm with her, and make her do things she doesn’t want to do...because that’s part of life. For instance, she doesn’t want to walk down the hall, she will go limp and not cooperate. They then will carry her or get the wheelchair to get her to where they are going. But she needs to learn to cooperate and walk down the hall. She’s capable of it. She’s just stubborn. So I’m hoping this collaboration between school and outpatient therapists will help bridge that gap.

Ok....if you made it through this you are a Saint. I just needed to vent for a second.

[trtlcrzy]

Hey. I worked this morning after a terrible, short night of sleep. Somehow all 3 girls ended up in my room, normally it’s just V. DH had to work today too so his parents came over for a few hours. MIL made dog biscuits with the big kids, it’s a holiday tradition for them. Work was boring, but after this week I appreciated it. V also was refusing to take the bottle, but I think the problem is that FIL isn’t heating the milk up enough. I will give him that suggestion when they come back Tuesday night. I’m probably going to take a nap in a little bit.

tgrimes I’m sorry they’re not being receptive to your suggestions.

jewels like lfig, in my state after you age out of birth to 3 then the school district takes over for EI. I would contact them and see if he can be evaluated. In my state they don’t require a doctor referral. You could look into a behavoral pediatrician (I believe that’s what they’re called) as that work specifically with diagnosing children’s behavioral issues.

lfig that’s frustrating. Do you do conferences? I would think they would have wanted to talk about it then.

[peachsmama]

Dec 5, 2020 14:33:09 GMT -6 lfig said:

jewels I know this may vary from state to state...but here in MO and I believe probably most everywhere else, the school district has an obligation and the responsibility to provide testing and services (if the child qualifies) after the child turns 3. Whether they are in the school or not.

In our case, it was easy for multiple reasons. 1) S was in the EI program so that made transitioning to the school district easy. And 2) S has obvious developmental challenges and a think stack of paperwork to back it up. But when she turned 3, she was at a private day care. The therapists went to the day care to provide her services. I also know some people who did not attend school or day care/preschool, and they took their child to the school for services 2x a week. All that so say, it shouldn’t matter if he is going to their preschool or not.

Now, to play devil’s advocate here...in my experience, we have had better quality of services when we sought out outpatient therapy services. And you will understand what I mean there in my next post that is going to just be me venting a tad. But I would push for the pedi to do a referral for evaluation. And go that route. Is there a NP that you ever see in the practice? Sometimes I feel like the NP’s are more apt to listen to the parents concerns better and just do what we ask.

I see the NP at our practice because I feel like she trusts my mom gut more than the other doctors in the practice.

[peachsmama]

Still a little red and it'll get brighter purple as it heals but I love it 😊

[kim22]

jewels you can have the school district do an evaluation and then refuse the services they offer you, if any, and seek them out on your own. Look up the person who is the director of special services and send a letter with your concerns to that person. I don’t know much about your district but you can also push for them to provide a one on one para at your daycare if he qualifies (I know my district has done that at the preschool my kids went to). I would recommend having them do the evaluation but also making appointments for a developmental pediatrician to get a private evaluation if your insurance will cover it. Not sure how far it is for you but I have known several people who used Morristown Hospital and been happy but the wait can be 6 months to a year. Most of my student’s evaluations come from St. Joe’s. It is usually suggested to get on waiting lists at multiple places.

[jewels]

kim22, thank you

I am 2 minutes away from Children's specialized hospital and they have a ton of services. I reached out to them this morning to see what the next step would be. I had him evaluated when he was 2.5 for speech from them, and at the time they said he was borderline and didn't think he really needed it. I also reached out to a few private places around me too. My research leads me to think he needs a social skills group of something... but of course that's not happening now.

I truthfully don't think he needs a 1 on 1 para or anything like that. I think he's just really immature and the 6 months in our unstructured house this past year didn't do him any favors. I think he just needs to learn better ways to deal with things, and for some reason, I am not able to give him that.

[wedding]

jewels all of the kids here have to do a pre-k assessment to make sure they are able to go into k. Does your town do anything like that? After 3 here the assessments are managed through the schools so when C needed speech we contacted the special Ed program for our district and they did an assessment to figure out what services he needs.

ETA: apparently this was covered. How nice that kim22 is a teacher in your state and knows this stuff😊

[jewels]

So when S started K, they had a big meetup day in April where the kids all came to check out the school and met in big groups with the teachers, while we all went to the gym for a presentation from the Principal. I believe they evaluated them at that point but it was 30 minutes in a group with like 15 other kids so I'm not sure how in depth they got. And of course, it's doubtful that will happen this year.

B is super smart and excelling in the academics. But if he won't listen or participate, it won't do him much good!

After my conference on Monday with his teacher, I will reach out to the school system to see what they say.

[wedding]

My nephews have Covid. They are asymptotic but got tested because their moms sister got sick the Saturday after thanksgiving and they all had a big dinner together. My brother is divorced so he had the kids Sunday. His ex wife failed to mention her sister had a Covid test pending so my brother could now have it and is quarantining. Honestly she probably didn’t even think about it but I’ll be annoyed with her anyway. She refused to let her kids see us this summer because Dh works in Boston so I did have a moment of righteousness. do

My brother is doing a test tomorrow and it’s a 2-7day turnaround where he is in CT. He also went to work all week at the state welfare office so I really hope he doesn’t have it. He is also a walking risk factor so I’m concerned about his health and his mental health being alone. The boys have been pretty nervous about Covid so I hope they remain asymptotic.

We just got an email from Pete’s aunt who throws a huge family party every year and they are doing it on zoom and people can break off into rooms or something. It sounds awkward since it’s about 50 people but we will attend.

[kim22]

lfig I’m sorry you got that call about S. I hope they work with you to determine what is best for her. Your advocating for her is so amazing.

[chrisy01]

So on Monday an email went out saying a parent of a 5/6th student tested positive. On Friday a student in 5/6th grade tested positive and a 1/2nd grade parent tested positive. Im uncertain if I should let L go to school on Monday but I can’t really handle work and distance learning L. I’m so conflicted.

[chrisy01]

[mention]lfig [/mention] that stinks they didn’t keep you in the loop. I hope you and the school can find a happy place for S. You are an amazing mom. S is lucky to have you.

[kim22]

wedding hope your nephews stay asymptomatic and your brother doesn’t get it.

[kim22]

Today was good. I slept until 9:45, 4 hours later than I usually get up! Cleaned a bit and did some Christmas shopping. Now hoping to get the little boys to bed early so we can have a wine and cheese hot tub date night.

While I may know lots about preschool, I need to learn about high school. DS has to apply for the high school program he wants to do this week. He was leaning towards marketing, DH was pushing computer science, and now he’s talking about law school. He can do these career academy things through our high school that allow him to graduate high school with an associates degree. Usually counselors from the high school go over this stuff with them but since we are remote, it’s been more like “read this website and figure things out.” Come September, I have have a kid in preschool, elementary, middle, and high school. I’m not ready.

[inthekitty]

wedding FX for them to be negative. That's so annoying their mother didn't tell your brother. Also I've been wondering, What About Bob? Sorry, I had to be lame with the movie title. Any updates on that front? I can delete if you want.

lfig that's frustrating. I hope they'll keep you in the loop more and work to be more firm with S.

jewels, good luck with the school district.

[tgrimes]

inthekitty Side note, I love that movie.

[wedding]

Dec 5, 2020 18:28:27 GMT -6 inthekitty said:

wedding FX for them to be negative. That's so annoying their mother didn't tell your brother. Also I've been wondering, What About Bob? Sorry, I had to be lame with the movie title. Any updates on that front? I can delete if you want.

lfig that's frustrating. I hope they'll keep you in the loop more and work to be more firm with S.

jewels, good luck with the school district.

I have thought about that movie often! I haven’t heard anything at all since about May. At that point everyone was well and the kids were distance learning. I haven’t asked since but I will soon because I am curious if communication is continuous. The next step in discussion was my parents meeting him but now with Covid, who knows when that will be.

No prob discussing Bob. 🤣I feel like it’s out there now. I am only annoyed that a great cat name is no more. I always wanted a cat named Bob. ::kicks rocks::

[vino]

jewels I hope you’re able to get in touch with a great group so he excels.

lfig That’s frustrating, hopefully after a conference everyone is on the same page.

chrisy01 so nerve wracking for sure, if the school does a good job of keeping the cohorts it’d easy my mind a bit. Cases have been in our school as well, and the first time I was torn as well.

wedding I hope they stay feeling fine and your brothers test comes back negative.

[vino]

Poor J was so snotty and sneezy when I got home and had a slight fever, we’re supposed to wait 24 hours with one symptom so since the fever came I went online and it immediately took me to book a test, so off we went for the 4pm appointment.

There was no fussing when we were heading there, she knew exactly what we were doing, cried a little with the throat swab but she was so brave.

Every so often I’m just blown away that we’re living through a pandemic, that my 4 year old knows what a covid test is, that they understand why we have to stay home, why we wear masks, are worried about the neighbours since they’re all positive. It’s all mind blowing some days 🤯. I hope that makes sense, I’m just rambling...

[vino]

We also did all the Christmas decorating today, I love sitting in the ambient light
poof

[nam2013]

vino I’m with you, it’s all so surreal. I find myself waking up thinking ‘this is actually happening’.