Advice needed. Possible TW

[jnu76]

TW: death



I've been seeing a therapist who I really like about marriage and other issues. I got a call the other day canceling an upcoming appointment, which is unusual for her. I saw in the paper today that her husband died, pretty young and of a tough illness. So:
1- do I send a card or is it overstepping to admit that I know what happened? (The obit was in the paper, so not a secret.) Is there an unspoken rule about pretending that therapists don't have personal lives?
2- I feel like an asshole going in next time to talk about myself in general and problems with my marriage in particular with someone who just lost her husband. Any thoughts or advice?
Thanks.

[nikkipal]

My therapist is a marriage and family therapist and she uses examples about herself and her family pretty often, so I certainly don't think there's a rule to pretend they don't have personal lives. I don't think a card would be overstepping, but on the flip side, I don't think it's expected. I also don't think that she would return to work without feeling ready to deal with hearing about other people's family issues.