Evening routine with 2 kids

[brandiewine11]

What's your routine for solo bedtime with an infant and preschooler?

T obviously doesn't have a schedule yet but so far he's been going to bed at 7-8pm. But it takes me an hour to get him fed and settled. R usually goes to bed at 8 too. I can tweak T's schedule more easily so what works best for you if no one is helping?

(We normally eat at 6:30-7, bath if needed, pjs, brush teeth, story, upstairs for a song, bed. R1 is home for dinner/bedtime about 25% of the time.)

[kona]

No advice but I'll be following. S is almost 11 months and we still don't have this figured out...

[mapleme]

When C was brand new, her bedtime was later (like 9 to M's 7), so this was easy. Now they go to bed at roughly the same time. When I do both, I move up M's by 15 minutes or so and C plays on the floor while I do M's story/etc and then I bring C to her room for pjs and nursing to sleep. It helps that M doesn't know when her bedtime "should" be and usually plays in her room before falling asleep. I expect that I will start doing their bedtimes together once C is done nursing to sleep. In the early days I set C on the floor to stare at the ceiling and it worked pretty well in that C liked being on the floor a lot. But there was a particular night that C really wanted to be held and M really wanted to be held and I didn't have enough hands for the book and there was lots of tears and crying. It was bad. But generally it works well. I'm not sure how I would do it if C needed to go to bed first. Or if C was like M was and needed to clusterfeed for the 3 hours before bed.

[ovenrack]

Oh gosh. Memories.

It was something like, begin (after teeth/pajamas/etc) by sitting on H's bed with M nursing and simultaneously reading a book.

Tell H to pick out 2 more books and drink some water while I put M down.

Nurse M in her room for 15m while H tried to resist coming in.

Leave M asleep or crying and read two books to H in his room.

Go back and forth until someone/both are asleep, or I'm crying.

[mintyblueair]

I have no advice either, but we're TTC our second and I'm already getting anxiety over this lol.

[critter015]

Our routine has always been dinner, bath, pajamas, read stories, bedtime. When I had a tiny baby I would try to keep them happy in the bouncer while dinner was happening, then I'd run the bath for the toddler and let then play in there while I washed and put pajamas on the baby (I set the baby bathtub on the counter and had diapers and pajamas and everything ready) Then baby would go back in the bouncer while I washed the older kid and put their pajamas on. Then I would start to nurse the baby while I read books to the toddler (some books I had basically memorized so I didn't have to hold them). I'd usually do like one side of nursing, then put the older kid in bed, and resume nursing the baby in the room where baby sleeps so it would be easier to transfer them. I was a mean mom and there was likely crying from both kids, but I just did what I had to do to get through it, as I did solo bedtime 95% of the time with 2 and then 3 kids. I found that my babies needed a lot more help getting to sleep, so it was easier to get the older ones down first so I could focus on the baby. I didn't worry about things like clearing the table or doing dishes until the kids were all asleep.

[mc13]

When the babies were small, I usually put them in the swing while I got R in bed since they took a lot longer. Now (10.5 months), I do babies first while R plays downstairs or watches a show then we do her routine.

[milano]

J goes to bed earlier than the baby, but his "routine" is basically just wash hands and face, brush teeth, pj's on and go upstairs to bed. I lay next to him until he falls asleep though which takes 15 min or so, usually. So I'll try to put M in the rock and play during that time, or if she isn't having it then the three of us lay in his bed.

[stringy]

I think I have a bigger age gap than most of you- though yours may be similar brandie. But M was often content to play alone or watch a show while I put P down. Though in early days P stayed up later. Now we just make Ms a half hour later than P and when I put P in I tell her when I come out it's book time.

I know sak advocates for the non drawn out bedtime (like no books etc. it's time for bed-go) which is likely a smart way to go.

[tj]

Jul 10, 2017 20:20:33 GMT -6 ovenrack said:

Oh gosh. Memories.

It was something like, begin (after teeth/pajamas/etc) by sitting on H's bed with M nursing and simultaneously reading a book.

Tell H to pick out 2 more books and drink some water while I put M down.

Nurse M in her room for 15m while H tried to resist coming in.

Leave M asleep or crying and read two books to H in his room.

Go back and forth until someone/both are asleep, or I'm crying.

This was us for a long time too. So many tears.

Now they are older and it's easier of course. But once P could be propped up on the boppy or in a bumbo, we would sit in E's room and read. Then P and I would sing to E and put her to bed. Then I would go nurse P to sleep in her room. That was easier than the attempted back and forth. But we also had to deal with E coming in over and over and distracting P.

[milano]

Jul 11, 2017 10:56:37 GMT -6 @criscosalad said:

Not to hijack the thread but does anyone have tips for a kid who acts out when a baby is brought into their room during bedtime?

Last night J didn't go to bed until almost 9 because every time I tried to get him upstairs for bed holding a baby, he lost his mind.

J does this occasionally, although it's getting to be much less frequent now since he's used to her being around. I just tell him how special it is that he gets to have M around for bedtime, and that he's showing her how to get into bed like a big kid, etc. Basically just praising him and trying to stay positive, although sometimes they didn't work at all.

I also would give him options like, "would you like M to lay on your floor or should we bring her bouncer in?" But if she cried I explained that she was little and needed to be near mommy so then I'd pick her up and bring her in the bed and he'd usually tolerate it because he didn't want her to be sad. Sometimes I set her down even though I knew she was going to cry immediately just so he could see that she was crying and that would stop him from demanding that I put her downstairs or something. He doesn't like when she cries.

[critter015]

Jul 11, 2017 8:50:55 GMT -6 stringy said:

I think I have a bigger age gap than most of you- though yours may be similar brandie. But M was often content to play alone or watch a show while I put P down. Though in early days P stayed up later. Now we just make Ms a half hour later than P and when I put P in I tell her when I come out it's book time.

I know sak advocates for the non drawn out bedtime (like no books etc. it's time for bed-go) which is likely a smart way to go.

I definitely am an advocate of that as well and it has worked out so great for me. I do read though. If we have a lot of time I let each kid choose one book for me to read (they all typically listen to all of the books). If we are pressed for time I choose and read one book. Then everyone goes and gets in their beds, I cover them up, tell them goodnight, and that is it.

[ovenrack]

Jul 11, 2017 8:58:49 GMT -6 tj said:

Jul 10, 2017 20:20:33 GMT -6 ovenrack said:

Oh gosh. Memories.

It was something like, begin (after teeth/pajamas/etc) by sitting on H's bed with M nursing and simultaneously reading a book.

Tell H to pick out 2 more books and drink some water while I put M down.

Nurse M in her room for 15m while H tried to resist coming in.

Leave M asleep or crying and read two books to H in his room.

Go back and forth until someone/both are asleep, or I'm crying.

This was us for a long time too. So many tears.

Now they are older and it's easier of course. But once P could be propped up on the boppy or in a bumbo, we would sit in E's room and read. Then P and I would sing to E and put her to bed. Then I would go nurse P to sleep in her room. That was easier than the attempted back and forth. But we also had to deal with E coming in over and over and distracting P.

Yes, luckily it's loads easier now.

But M was just such a fan of crying. All the time. At three months she became my good natured, easy baby, but I swear, 3-9pm and MOTN were so so awful for her. And me. And everyone. I think she was colicky, though it was never diagnosed. It was like a switch flipped at around 3m.

[ovenrack]

I love reading at night. I won't let go of it, or at least I hope I don't have to. Sometimes I tell H it has to be a short book. But I have such strong memories of my parents reading to me, I really want to hold tight to that.

[mapleme]

Jul 11, 2017 13:11:10 GMT -6 ovenrack said:

I love reading at night. I won't let go of it, or at least I hope I don't have to. Sometimes I tell H it has to be a short book. But I have such strong memories of my parents reading to me, I really want to hold tight to that.

Ditto. DH pushes hard to read as few books as possible, if at all. I would like to read to my girls until they go off to college. I can't wait until I can start reading them chapter books. My dad read to both me and my sister until we independently decided that we were too old to be read to. This is why I think that I will likely end up doing both girl's bedtime routines together once C is old enough to not be as needy. And DH will go back to watching TV during bedtime.

[Dramaphile]

Jul 11, 2017 13:11:10 GMT -6 ovenrack said:

I love reading at night. I won't let go of it, or at least I hope I don't have to. Sometimes I tell H it has to be a short book. But I have such strong memories of my parents reading to me, I really want to hold tight to that.

Same.  Sometimes Nugget drives me nuts with wanting to switch books every time we get three pages in, but it's worth it to see her get excited about her favorite books when we read at bedtime.  I don't really remember my parents reading to me, although I'm certain they did (I was an early independent reader and wanted to read to myself), but I remember my grandma reading to me when I was little from her Better Homes And Gardens children's treasury.  My favorite story was of course the one that is now no longer printed because it is pretty racist- Little Black Sambo.  I loved it because it was the story of a little boy who outsmarts tigers who want to eat him and then the tigers fight each other and turn into melted butter and his mom makes pancakes....  I found a rewritten copy for Nugget that removes the racist tropes (written and illustrated by a Black author and illustrator).