lucylou
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Post by lucylou on Jul 15, 2020 15:24:19 GMT -6
lucylou don’t even worry about it right now! Life can change so quickly. Things after DS2 was born were not good at all. H and I had our toughest patch, DS2 had feeding problems and DS1 was coming in second place to feeding DS2. I was so certain we’d never have another kid after him. It’s hard with 3 though right now but I just keep telling myself that we’re in the very early stages. ETA and if you decide it really isn’t going to work out having another, that’s perfectly ok and you can handle those emotions then Thank you for this. It made me realize that should be future me’s problem haha. I’ve got enough on my plate already
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wasabi
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Post by wasabi on Jul 15, 2020 17:23:37 GMT -6
lucylou, while I was pregnant with this one I had the great idea that we should have another one in a couple years because, I don’t know, because I was crazy I guess lol, but now that I have this baby, I’m like hellll no I’m done. Hah. I felt the same way after my first was born- that I would never again. So yes, I guess our brains do a great job of making us forget just how awful it can be.
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wasabi
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Post by wasabi on Jul 15, 2020 17:25:09 GMT -6
I mean it’s not all awful of course, but it just seems like so much when you’re really having a tough baby day.
Definitely wait until 18 months-2 years and see how you feel. At least ime with my first, thats when I got major baby fever again.
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wasabi
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Post by wasabi on Jul 15, 2020 17:35:42 GMT -6
I’m not following the script because I don’t feel like going back to c&p, I only have so much time until Miles wakes up! Lol.
But he’s definitely not a chill newborn anymore. He sleeps pretty decent at night, up to about 4-5 hour stretches, but we’ve had a couple weeks of major fussiness during the day. It’s also difficult to get him to nap off of me. I can lay him down for a bit but then he wakes up and will sleep another hour+ on me. He does have some quick chunks of time during the day that he is cool to just lay on the bed looking around, but it’s definitely gotten difficult to get stuff done like laundry and just cleaning and whatnot. I was feeling like a rockstar there for a minute with being able to keep up with housework but that’s gonnnne.
I actually bought both a bouncy chair (all we had before was the fisher price rocker thing which he wasn’t into) and a swing 🤪 out of desperation. He tolerates both for a bit. I actually took a shower while he was in the swing (it’s a small, portable one and fit in the bathroom with me) so that was nice. Although he was def over it by the end. Oh well I got a shower and didn’t have to have SO Home with me to do it 🙌
He’s started smiling here and there so that’s adorable. And he’s growing so fast. We’re up to probably just around 10 lbs and we brought him home at just over 5.
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Jul 15, 2020 20:28:53 GMT -6
lucylou I looked back at my snoo data from when baby was 3 weeks old, and he wasn’t sleeping well at all. Now he’s consistently sleeping 8 hours with only one wake up to eat. I do give him 2 oz of formula in a bottle at bedtime, because I hate pumping but want to make sure he gets a bottle daily for daycare prep, and then I nurse him. I think that may help his sleep. Anyway, hang in there - it definitely got better for us! Birthday/age - 5/15, 2 months today The good - good night sleep, smiles, and he was up to almost 11 pounds at his appt today (from 6 lbs 9 oz at birth). Even though it’s only 17th percentile in the normal curves, it’s close to median in the preemie curve. The bad - he despises the car seat and screams everyday while I take the older kids to camp and daycare and back. Also he is not a great napper. Also bad family-wise - I’m trying to figure out whether we go the private catholic school route or do a ‘pod’ with other families where we hire a teacher/babysitter for childcare and to supervise distance learning. It hasn’t been officially announced for our district, but everyone is assuming it will be 100% online since the bigger San Diego district announces that. There are so many pros and cons and trade-offs. Either way it’s going to cost me at least an extra $15k for next year that we didn’t plan on.
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lucylou
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Post by lucylou on Jul 15, 2020 23:40:07 GMT -6
sdlaura thank you; that is so encouraging! I was starting to think he was going to be in the small minority of kids who don’t like it. But as I’m typing now he is coming off a 4.5 hour stretch! So hit and miss with him but it at least gives me some hope Ugh, I’m sorry for the extra education costs. That is not a small sum and freaking sucks you have to make that decision.
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Post by txaggie08 on Jul 16, 2020 6:04:01 GMT -6
Thanks ladies. Honestly, I just feel like our family isn’t doing very well as a whole right now and I’m scared the toll a 4th would take. *I* know it would only be super temporary in the grand scheme of things but I don’t think the rest of them think it’s worth it😔. And knowing it would likely be harder than this time around, with an extra toddler thrown in, I know I would need more help which means everybody needs to be on board. *eta: obviously everybody needs to be on board regardless but I mean like, want it as much as I do so I don’t feel guilty when I ask for help I recommend putting it completely out of your mind until baby is at least a year old - then see how you feel! It took me 4 years to talk DH into a third after how ridiculous our second was lucylou. Definitely don't decide anything now.
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Post by txaggie08 on Jul 16, 2020 6:15:21 GMT -6
wasabi I understand the terrible naps during the day. It feels like I spend all day trying to get him to nap and then when he does it's on top of me and only lasts 45 minutes. I know he's overtired, but when I start to get him ready for a nap at the normal time, he's not having it. It's exhausting!
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Post by txaggie08 on Jul 16, 2020 6:21:06 GMT -6
sdlaura I feel you on the big kids school decisions. We're definitely keeping our older two (K and 4th) out in the fall while DH and I work from home, but are torn about what to do with LO. He'll lose his spot at daycare if we don't send him mid-August like I told them, but the last time they had CV+ people at daycare they shut down for 2 weeks. We can't work like that and I'll have no sick/vacation time to use to be with him all day. We looked into a nanny for all 3, but can't afford it. We are trying to find a high schooler to come sit with the school age ones to supervise their work, make sure they're on task, and answer any questions while we're working. That's way more affordable, especially since we won't be paying for after school care.
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Jul 16, 2020 7:11:40 GMT -6
txaggie08 we’ll definitely be sending our older kids if schools open, but we live in an area where that won’t happen without lots of safety measures in place. Also our town and the one next to it (combined population 300,000) have a low case count and zero deaths, and there are some things about us school district (no buses, all classrooms open to the outside, perfect climate) that make me think it would be relatively safe. But if I lived in a place where the virus was raging and kids were being sent back without a lot of safety measures, I can definitely see keeping kids home. If we go the private school route and they end up going virtual, we would probably hire a high school/college kid who could inexpensively help out for a few hours a day. But our jobs are crazy enough (even WFH) and kids need enough help (especially rising 1st grader DS1, who can’t read yet), that we would want full time help from someone qualified if it’s going to be a year long thing. And doing the pod thing with other families would make that more affordable. All of this is so hard - especially because we don’t have any kind of start date or schedule for what online learning would look like yet, so it’s impossible to plan much. We are definitely sending the baby to our in home daycare with a few other kids, and our toddler is starting at the YMCA preschool because he’s definitely ready for preschool and we trust the Y’s safety measures (big kids are in camp there now). If the Y shuts down for cases and our toddler isn’t directly exposed, in home provider will take him back here and there. So at least our younger two should have care.
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Post by txaggie08 on Jul 16, 2020 7:15:39 GMT -6
sdlaura It sounds like you have a good plan. Hopefully you hear something from your big kids school soon!
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Jul 16, 2020 16:23:09 GMT -6
wasabi I understand the terrible naps during the day. It feels like I spend all day trying to get him to nap and then when he does it's on top of me and only lasts 45 minutes. I know he's overtired, but when I start to get him ready for a nap at the normal time, he's not having it. It's exhausting! I know you’re not asking for advice, but maybe try getting him to nap 15 minutes earlier and see if that makes a difference.
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Post by txaggie08 on Jul 16, 2020 16:24:34 GMT -6
wasabi I understand the terrible naps during the day. It feels like I spend all day trying to get him to nap and then when he does it's on top of me and only lasts 45 minutes. I know he's overtired, but when I start to get him ready for a nap at the normal time, he's not having it. It's exhausting! I know you’re not asking for advice, but maybe try getting him to nap 15 minutes earlier and see if that makes a difference. I did that today and it was somewhat effective. It was easier to notice his cues when my older two were playing outside and I could just focus on him without them being in his face and overstimulating him.
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willow
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Post by willow on Jul 17, 2020 7:50:27 GMT -6
sdlaura do you put yours in the snoo for naps? I’ve been doing the snoo for all sleep and it’s been amazing, but I’m wondering if I should start trying naps in their cribs to get them used to it before I go back to work and then it’s going to fall on the nanny or grandma to figure out naps.
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Jul 17, 2020 9:21:26 GMT -6
willow I do try the snoo but he rarely naps any longer than 30 min in it. I have also worried about our daycare provider getting him to nap in the pack n play but figure I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it if she has problems.
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willow
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Post by willow on Jul 17, 2020 9:53:49 GMT -6
willow I do try the snoo but he rarely naps any longer than 30 min in it. I have also worried about our daycare provider getting him to nap in the pack n play but figure I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it if she has problems. See my babies nap 1.5-2 hours in the snoo so I am scared to try the crib for fear of ruining it lol.
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wasabi
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Post by wasabi on Jul 17, 2020 10:49:31 GMT -6
Y’all. I feel so dumb. I thought my baby hated swaddling, I guess just because when he struggles a bit I was always quick to unswaddle. Anyway, so I went up to my parents house this past weekend and was having a hard time getting him to settle and go to sleep. My sister came in the room and was all, let’s try swaddling him! And of course, I’m like, ok but he doesn’t like it. Next thing I know she’s swaddling him and he settles right down and she puts him to bed. Lol. I felt like such a failure.
Well I decided to try swadding him in one of the swaddle me Velcro things we have (I had been just using the love to dream swaddle, which was fine), and dude slept for over 7 hours!!
And now he’s in his bassinet, not on me, sleeping alone, swaddled 🤯 (it did take a couple tries to put him down without him waking right back up, but he’s been asleep now for like 30 mins in there which I’ve not been able to get him to do for a bit).
My world is shook.
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Jul 17, 2020 11:49:32 GMT -6
wasabi that’s always been my experience - My kids act like they hate being swaddled but sleep way better swaddled!
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willow
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Post by willow on Jul 17, 2020 11:52:42 GMT -6
wasabi The right swaddle can make all the difference! I feel like I have tried every swaddle at this point and honestly nothing has worked better than the Ollie swaddle. It’s pricey but it’s sooooo easy to use and both my babies love it. I saw it get lots of attention on the snoo fb group so I decided to try it out. Highly recommend! I’m getting a couple zipadee zip sleep sacks this weekend to hopefully transition to in the next week or so. They use the LTD swaddles for naps and do pretty well so this will be the next step.
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Post by magaroni on Jul 17, 2020 18:41:07 GMT -6
wasabi Don’t feel dumb. It took me until last week to even think about swaddling for naps. I’m not sure why because I swaddle for bedtime. It just never even occurred to me. It has a game changer!
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wasabi
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Post by wasabi on Jul 17, 2020 18:51:58 GMT -6
I’m just like, this baby better not be an early roller because I need to appreciate this for a little bit before I have to stop. willow don’t let me forget to ask how the zippadee whatever swaddles are because I think that may be our next step also
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willow
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Post by willow on Jul 17, 2020 19:55:21 GMT -6
Also Jesus can I say how much it sucks to buy two of every goddamn thing lol.
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Jul 18, 2020 9:08:09 GMT -6
My poor girl woke up with her right eye almost glued shut with discharge. I’m sure it’s probably just a clogged tear duct.
DH is on a guys trip this weekend and my big girls are at my ILs house so V and I are alone. It’s nice to have some time, just the 2 of us.
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Jul 18, 2020 22:32:11 GMT -6
So here I was touting how well baby slept at night when swaddled, but I hadn’t been swaddling for naps. The snoo has sort of a built in swaddle and I was just using that. Today I also used the Velcro swaddle (that I use at night) for nap, and he napped so long that I ended up waking him up after 2.5 hours.
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