Dr. Cox
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Post by Dr. Cox on Apr 10, 2020 18:45:35 GMT -6
I just wanted to check in on everyone and see how you all are handling things. I have anxiety and depression and it’s been really rough, but I’m starting to find some joy here and there.
Anyone need to talk, vent, share some funny stories or tips? I’m here for you. ❤️
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Dr. Cox
Emerald
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Post by Dr. Cox on Apr 10, 2020 18:46:12 GMT -6
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jkjacq
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Post by jkjacq on Apr 10, 2020 18:50:55 GMT -6
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athn64
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Post by athn64 on Apr 10, 2020 18:58:42 GMT -6
I upped my meds right before shit hit the fan and am really glad I did. I'm still a bundle of nerves, but I'm able to compartmentalize better.
Overall, not doing great though. I kinda want to punch MH in the face because he seems to be living his best life in all this.
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cnf
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Post by cnf on Apr 10, 2020 19:10:10 GMT -6
I just restarted Zoloft after being off it for like the last year and a half.
I'm getting really anxious with talks of NY reopening. All of this is based on the city, but the rest of the state is lagging behind. I'm nervous what it's going to do to upstate who, unlike NYC, has not yet peaked or flattened in most places. It's giving me a lot of anxiety.
I also really need a fucking break from my kids. I have my anatomy scan Tuesday and while I'm sad H can't go, I'm going to take my sweet time and dwaddle coming home.
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Dr. Cox
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Post by Dr. Cox on Apr 10, 2020 19:15:26 GMT -6
Oh yeah, my kids are everywhere. Everywhere. I hide, they find me. I can’t.
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Dr. Cox
Emerald
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Post by Dr. Cox on Apr 10, 2020 19:17:31 GMT -6
athn64 and cnf, I’m sorry, friends. I hope you’re both able to get some alone/decompress time.
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on Apr 10, 2020 19:17:57 GMT -6
hugs cnf . Being pregnant on top of all this is...a lot.
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cnf
Ruby
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Post by cnf on Apr 10, 2020 19:18:43 GMT -6
hugs cnf . Being pregnant on top of all this is...a lot. Seriously, I would cut a bitch for a drink right now.
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on Apr 10, 2020 19:20:31 GMT -6
I have typed and deleted a lot of things but suffice to say, i swing wildly across a spectrum of okay-ness.
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Dr. Cox
Emerald
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Post by Dr. Cox on Apr 10, 2020 19:50:49 GMT -6
I have typed and deleted a lot of things but suffice to say, i swing wildly across a spectrum of okay-ness. ❤️
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Post by notblanche on Apr 10, 2020 20:17:17 GMT -6
Eh. I'm not great tbh but I'm doing the best I can. I thought it would get better when I went back to work, because I'd have a distraction, but it's gotten harder. I have GAD and panic disorder and I'm averaging one breakdown every three days, which I feel is almost best case scenario. Also also. I could say so much more. My littlest has been so, so smiley the last few days and that's helping. And my therapist is doing virtual visits. My & cnf's friend is doing regular Zoom yoga, which keeps me accountable for self care.
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Post by notblanche on Apr 10, 2020 20:17:31 GMT -6
Dr. Cox, you have the biggest heart and I appreciate you.
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athn64
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Post by athn64 on Apr 10, 2020 20:20:45 GMT -6
Hugs to you notblanche. I had a breakdown on I want to say Tuesday and was crying in the kitchen all for H to tell me he didn't have time to deal with it right then, so I needed to pull it together. So helpful. I need to get into a therapist, but was just starting to look into my options for one when this all happened. I don't know if I would be able to open up to someone virtually that I hadn't met in person yet, outside of the realm of general anonymity that I have on the boards.
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Dr. Cox
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Post by Dr. Cox on Apr 10, 2020 20:30:01 GMT -6
Dr. Cox, you have the biggest heart and I appreciate you. Thank you, friend. That is very sweet. I’m so sorry about the breakdowns and anxiety. I know it must be especially hard given the ages of your children. They are just so cute though, and seem like such happy kids! Yoga sounds like a great way to take time for yourself. Sending you hugs.
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elle
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Post by elle on Apr 10, 2020 20:51:25 GMT -6
I'm feeling really sad tonight. It's my mother's birthday on Monday and last year at this time we were about to fly up North and announce our 2nd pregnancy to my parents in person. Now this year her thyroid is acting up again and a much needed surgery has been postponed because of Covid and I'm worried about her health. I am thankful that my parents have each other so this SIP isn't nearly so burdensome or lonely, but we were supposed to fly up and see them again this spring/summer and have them meet their second granddaughter and a part of me is worried that it won't ever happen.
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Post by oreobitsy on Apr 10, 2020 20:52:40 GMT -6
Things are ok. I keep telling myself this is a marathon, not a sprint. The days get long with my ability to fully engage with the kids. I know we probably won't get to travel this summer but I'm very tempted to hole up at my in-law's family cottage in MN to break up my life if there's no summer camps.
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Post by oreobitsy on Apr 10, 2020 20:58:34 GMT -6
Oh elle, that's tough. It's hard to be far from family. Sending healthy thoughts your mom's way.
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Post by KnightRyder on Apr 10, 2020 21:00:27 GMT -6
Thanks for starting this. Hugs to those struggling and those who aren’t too. It’s a weird time.
I’m a mostly-lurker but here’s my brain dump: I’m not sure how I am, everything is weird. I think it won’t really hit me until much later, and I spend a good bit of time anxious about what shape that will take for me.
Without unpacking my whole life here, I’m strangely okay in the day-to-day. I’m not sure why, besides that the hectic family stuff and managing the lists, calendar, etc. is no more. I’m probably avoiding big feelings that should be laid out to a therapist.
On the flip side, I have felt since 2016 that to some degree I read the news each day sort of holding my breath and actively looking for a turning point. Like, is this it? Is today the day when this administration actively crashes and burns in the eyes of the vast majority, and we can begin to move on and do better? As the primary geared up, I’ve been holding my breath for a candidate I’m super excited for, reading and watching and hoping and analyzing (spoiler: Joe isn’t that candidate). As you all know too well, instead it’s all just been worse and worse. And I thought Solemani’s killing was a rock bottom of sorts. Now here we are.
And I miss politics. Sure, the election is approaching anyway, but there’s so little political news. And I miss, you know, everything else too, and especially the kids being in school.
Anyway, thanks for asking ❤️
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Post by enchanted on Apr 10, 2020 21:16:07 GMT -6
I have typed and deleted a lot of things but suffice to say, i swing wildly across a spectrum of okay-ness. This is a good way to put it.
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Post by Uncaripswife on Apr 10, 2020 21:18:01 GMT -6
Thanks for checking in, drcox.
Warning: this is a brain dump and it's A LOT.
I'm not great. I'm not terrible. I'm lucky: I have a job, my family hasn't lost any income, mh works part time nights and weekends so he has time to be in charge of homeschooling during the pandemic.
But dd is a social butterfly and an only child. She hasn't played with another kid in 4 weeks. She misses school. She can't get to sleep at night and is extra clingy. I have to work so even though I'm home I can't really be *with* her in the way she wants. She wants mom, not dad. So then MH feels bad, too.
Mh and I both have a history of anxiety and I am terrified to leave the house. At all. I'm having a hard time concentrating on work and I have insomnia.
This week has been extra hard. The mother of two of my oldest friends (sisters) died on Tuesday (not of covid19). When I was a teen she was a second mom to me. They can't have a wake and the Catholic funeral Mass she would have wanted.
And my other longtime bff found out her grandmother has covid19. She's in a nursing home and no one can visit her.
I wish I could be there, physically, for my friends.
I'm cycling through the stages of grief.
Dis tew much.
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Post by enchanted on Apr 10, 2020 21:23:47 GMT -6
I'm sending hugs to all of you. I am so thankful for our little corner of the internet.
I feel like if I start typing, I won't stop for a long ass time.
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Post by enchanted on Apr 10, 2020 21:24:44 GMT -6
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Post by oreobitsy on Apr 10, 2020 21:27:35 GMT -6
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jkjacq
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Post by jkjacq on Apr 10, 2020 21:29:14 GMT -6
Hugs to all from a socially acceptable distance. Dr. Cox, Thanks for checking in on us. Like DC There is a lot I type and delete. I know right now I’m so privileged to be able to wfh and keep my job. And I can finally send DD to her dads for a few days so at least we get a break from each other. But its so hard and I feel guilty. I haven’t told her school probably isn’t coming back this year. She watches her principal every morning for announcement and cries for her friends and teachers. She’s very social and its killing her to be this isolated. We haven’t had counseling since the ‘lockdown’ started and thankfully we’re going to have a telehealth session next Friday. Its just a lot. But my family is safe and healthy and that’s really all i can ask for at the moment.
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jkjacq
Ruby
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Post by jkjacq on Apr 10, 2020 21:29:47 GMT -6
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jaygee
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Post by jaygee on Apr 10, 2020 23:06:43 GMT -6
Dr. Cox thank you for that Kamala video. I needed that today. Uncaripswife I’m so sorry for your loss.
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jaygee
Diamond
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Post by jaygee on Apr 10, 2020 23:14:10 GMT -6
I’m ok. There are good times and harder times.
I’m super privileged and nothing has changed income wise for my family. Above all I’m truly grateful for my living situation, my health, and my job.
The pace of everything is wearing me thin. I had to take the day off work today even though it’s going to totally screw me next week but I just needed a break. DS is on spring break and he needs so much attention. I feel badly because he’s an only and having two grown ups around full time is just not fun. And he’s grumpy and has a short fuse. I’m trying to be patient but it’s a lot. And MH doesn’t understand at all why DS is acting a fool. So that gets old.
There are some bright spots but mostly I’m just really tired. On the good front I have been exercising a lot so that feels good. And I love all the time with my old dogs.
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LaRo422
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Post by LaRo422 on Apr 11, 2020 4:25:04 GMT -6
I have typed and deleted a lot of things but suffice to say, i swing wildly across a spectrum of okay-ness. This is me. I feel like I do an ok job of holding it together and calm for my kids, but underneath, I’m a frazzled wreck. Lexi will be 8 in 8 days and has decided she’s deathly afraid of crane flies, which are everywhere, and harmless. She hasn’t slept in her room in probably 2 weeks. Trying to make her ends in a meltdown or she’s just so terrified that I can’t do it. Her eyes get big as saucers when she’s scared. She’s slept on little makeshift beds in my room and her brothers’ room. It’s....exhausting, but it’s like she can’t verbalize or rationalize her coronavirus fears, so it’s coming out this way. I’m trying to be super mommy with all the crafts and activities to distract her, but come 5 or 6, she’s panicking about bedtime, wringing her hands. Her anxiety is kind of how I feel about the whole thing, but I can’t show it.
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Post by PandaWatch on Apr 11, 2020 4:50:44 GMT -6
I’m okay-ish. I got on anti-anxiety meds the first day of lockdown (March 16), so that has made a huge difference. Like, I think it’s numbed me to what I would otherwise be a mess over. I guess that’s good? I don’t know.
My nuclear family is as good as can be. H and I are still employed and can work from home. We have the ability and technology to homeschool our kids, so we are lucky. Not everyone has that. DD and I clash everyday over it, that’s been tough. I don’t want that for her. I need to do better for her sake.
That’s the good-ish. Otherwise, I’m just terrified for everyone. Family, friends and people I don’t even know, just like anonymous fellow Earthlings.
Poof.
It’s a lot.
Then I read all these stories about people living in poverty, those that work on the front lines for minimum wage and have no choice, undocumented people afraid to go to the hospital. This country has failed these people and they will bear the brunt of all of our failures.
It’s all too much.
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