wedding
Emerald
Posts: 14,402 Likes: 77,820 
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Post by wedding on Jan 30, 2020 4:43:07 GMT -6
I’m glad you’re ok trtlcrzy! chrisy01 I can definitely see both sides. I’m sorry you guys aren’t on the same page. That’s always rough with something big. |
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mwhip
Opal
Posts: 9,174 Likes: 56,609
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Post by mwhip on Jan 30, 2020 7:43:21 GMT -6
I’ve let go of the expectation that dh should see something needs to be done and do it without asking. I’ve been fighting with this for 15+ years and decided in the last year that I’m only hurting myself with the expectation because I get so frustrated. Now I just tell him what to do and he does it. I’ll go up to bed and say “can you load and start the dishwasher before you come up”. And he does (95% of the time). It’s definitely made me less irritable and probably improved our marriage since the tiny fire of resentment over it is gone. I'm the same way. Mens brains don't work the way ours do. They don't just do something unless it specifically applies to them, they need someone to tell them. Not to say it isn't annoying AF, because it definitely is! |
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Post by peachsmama on Jan 30, 2020 8:06:27 GMT -6
Same. And A always says "if you need help just ask" orrrrrrr you could just help without me having to say anything since you also live here and can see the mess..... I'm all about showing initiative. If you see something that needs to be done, just do it. Exactly. When we got tigger and we realized the crazy cat can open doors, I asked A to switch the door knob on the attic to a locking one. We had extra. For weeks I asked. I finally just did it myself. He was home and then tried to take over and finish it and Kept saying "I was going to do it, I was going to do it" so obnoxious. |
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Post by peachsmama on Jan 30, 2020 8:16:10 GMT -6
One of our issues is that he wants to do things for me and be helpful, but if it's not what he wants to do when I want it done then he doesn't. And then when I do it he gets mad because he wanted to do it for me just not right when I asked. But I just want shit done.
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klong11
Ruby
Posts: 15,000 Likes: 86,167
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Post by klong11 on Jan 30, 2020 8:30:47 GMT -6
Mh has a tendency to do things half way. If he makes Cadence a sandwich, he leaves everything out on the counter.
He only closes jars half way. Like they are never screwed on all the way. I've spilled so many juices and shit on me because of this. Who does this????
Takes the trash out, but doesn't put a new liner in
He loads the dishwasher wrong, BUT now he loads it all the way his way and turns it on immediately, so that I can't come and bitch about it. Then, he puts them away so that I can't bitch about it also. LOL
But, he can bitch about the way I do things too.
I always leave my clothes in the dryer, so he goes to wash his clothes and I've got clothes in the dryer. That irritates him a lot.
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Post by flamingo on Jan 30, 2020 8:35:12 GMT -6
chrisy01 we went back and forth about the private school thing, too (for this current year). It would have been nice having our 2 together on the same schedule, but in the end I came around to DH’s way of thinking and we started him at the public school. Now with 6 months of hindsight, I’m really glad we made that decision for multiple reasons. Also, I enjoy not paying tuition 😃 You probably can’t go wrong—I think B would have been fine either way. I do think he’s enjoyed being in a ‘larger’ class (he has 19 or 20 vs 14 or so at his old school), fwiw.
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Post by peachsmama on Jan 30, 2020 9:32:20 GMT -6
Mh has a tendency to do things half way. If he makes Cadence a sandwich, he leaves everything out on the counter. He only closes jars half way. Like they are never screwed on all the way. I've spilled so many juices and shit on me because of this. Who does this???? Takes the trash out, but doesn't put a new liner in He loads the dishwasher wrong, BUT now he loads it all the way his way and turns it on immediately, so that I can't come and bitch about it. Then, he puts them away so that I can't bitch about it also. LOL But, he can bitch about the way I do things too. I always leave my clothes in the dryer, so he goes to wash his clothes and I've got clothes in the dryer. That irritates him a lot. Same. I'll ask him to put away a basket of laundry and he will leave the basket wherever he folded clothes and only puts away his things. Like yes, Mallory will put hers away, thanks for the help babe. 🤦♀️ |
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