Wednesday Happenings?

[lahdeedah]

Morning.

At work feeling way better than yesterday. I have to leave a little early to get M from tennis. Not much else going on today. I don’t have to come in tomorrow, so at least I get one day off this week.

Anyone else following the impeachment inquiry? I’m not getting my hopes up, but I want that ass wipe to go down.

[lahdeedah]

Sept 25, 2019 9:58:14 GMT -6 vino said:

I dont know, I'm feeling some way about this. There have been days that I have left my kids at daycare after a shit morning and i appreciate the Mom/Dad who nod in agreement with a comment of 'been there' as opposed to the judgey eyes.

I get this. And I know I have been there, too. The moment that gave me pause was when she dropped her off at the crossing guard. I took this to mean on the sidewalk, with no teachers around to help. I wouldn’t do that. I would take them inside to a safe space.

I’ve ran away from my kids too, but it’s always been a hand off to a teacher inside a building.

[inthekitty]

Sept 25, 2019 10:18:48 GMT -6 lahdeedah said:

Morning.

At work feeling way better than yesterday. I have to leave a little early to get M from tennis. Not much else going on today. I don’t have to come in tomorrow, so at least I get one day off this week.

Anyone else following the impeachment inquiry? I’m not getting my hopes up, but I want that ass wipe to go down.

I'm trying not to follow that or any of the early election stuff too much yet because I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want DT just to be impeached, I want that effer to be in prison where he belongs, yet I know I will likely never see that happen. I was surprised they actually announced formal impeachment talk. I'm just trying to sit back and wait until things get further along before I get invested. If it happens though I would absolutely celebrate it.

The day after the election my work-BFF and I were both dressed in solid black and didn't plan it together, but both felt the same way. If he did get impeached we could coordinate coming to work dressed very flamboyantly to rub it in to the Trump turds here...now I'm getting too invested and need to stop daydreaming. 

[cagoldi]

I’m feeling like the mom could have handled herself better and probably isn’t thinking about how proud she is of her parenting this morning.

It’s not what I would like to think I would have done, BUT I struggle when the kids are having a tough morning and it takes a ton of work, every day, to keep myself from melting down when they are really over the top.

In a state where I am very run down and prone to acting impulsively, IDK.

She and her daughter both need some better tools and support by the sound of it.

And if she is SN, she probably does need someone to help her with the transition. X is easy-going and happy go lucky, but he still clings to me like a frightened baboon at drop-off every morning. I would never make it off of campus if he didn’t have aides there specifically for the purpose of helping get the kids engaged in an activity right away.

[tgrimes]

There's a difference in leaving your kids in their classroom at daycare screaming and making a run for the door, and leaving your 1st grade child with the crossing guard while screaming at her in front of everyone, in my opinion.

[Sunny41]

Sept 25, 2019 9:50:34 GMT -6 inthekitty said:

Sunny41 have you found any other options for where to swim? I hope the drama at the pool has settled.

klong11 yikes. I hope that family gets the resources they need for help because clearly that mom is struggling. Whether there are genuine SN or the kid is just behavioral it's clear they need some intervention to make mornings go smoother since this doesn't sound like a one-off.

vino glad things are going well.

I'm going to go there today and see if I can talk to someone. No refunds yet for anything I requested so I assume I'm still a member

[vino]

Sept 25, 2019 10:22:21 GMT -6 lahdeedah said:

Sept 25, 2019 9:58:14 GMT -6 vino said:

I dont know, I'm feeling some way about this. There have been days that I have left my kids at daycare after a shit morning and i appreciate the Mom/Dad who nod in agreement with a comment of 'been there' as opposed to the judgey eyes.

I get this. And I know I have been there, too. The moment that gave me pause was when she dropped her off at the crossing guard. I took this to mean on the sidewalk, with no teachers around to help. I wouldn’t do that. I would take them inside to a safe space.

I’ve ran away from my kids too, but it’s always been a hand off to a teacher inside a building.

Right.  But kids that are grade 1/2/3 or however old they are can walk across the street or from the other side of the street to the school.  It's no different from the drop off line where you drop them off with a monitor and they go into the school.

obviously dont know the specifics of the 'where' a parent can drop off the kids, where they are monitored, what time they have to be where, and it's kind of a moot point because it's the lack of kindness in the moment and judgey chatter towards the Mom that's getting to me.  I'm imagining that was my morning and rather then people coming to help out everyone stands around staring, I dislike that very, very much.

[peachsmama]

Sept 25, 2019 10:28:56 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

There's a difference in leaving your kids in their classroom at daycare screaming and making a run for the door, and leaving your 1st grade child with the crossing guard while screaming at her in front of everyone, in my opinion.

Agreed. I'm not judging having a hard morning and yelling at your kid. We've all been there! I'm judging leaving them on the side walk with a crossing guard..

[flamingo]

Sept 25, 2019 10:28:56 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

There's a difference in leaving your kids in their classroom at daycare screaming and making a run for the door, and leaving your 1st grade child with the crossing guard while screaming at her in front of everyone, in my opinion.

This is where I’m at, too.

I would never judge someone for leaving a kid upset at preschool/daycare, where it’s a 1-to-1 handoff. Leaving a kid on the ground with a crossing guard is definitely going to get a raised eyebrow from me.

[klong11]

*whistle* lots of different points on the matter.

I'm not sure they were "judgey" eyes, they were more of "wtf is happening right now" eyes.

IMO screaming at your child in public, no matter what was done during the car ride there, getting up that morning, or whatever, is a no go. I would sit in the car and work it out, even if it makes me late for work. "I get you don't want to go to school, hell, I would love to stay home from work, but we can't do that. We have responsibilities and we do our work. Right now we need to get you into school because the bell is going to ring. We can talk more about why you don't want to go this evening when I pick you up." Not scream so everyone and their mother can hear, pick them up and haul them across the parking lot to deposit them on the ground where there are no teachers, there is a volunteer crossing guard and a volunteer drop off line helper who don't know you or your kid and say "your problem now" and run back to your car and drive off.

SN was not a thing in this situation.

And the child was not crying. The child looked embarrassed at the actions of her hysterical mother.

And we were not standing around staring, although we were standing at one point because we had to wait to cross, we were crossing the parking lot and going into the school to drop off our children. And people did help, the other mother spoke to the child, who calmly got up and walked in holding her hand.

[flamingo]

Hi! Hot topic Wednesday, I see!

Busy morning here...speech, Target run, then home to meet the bus which didn’t ever come 😱 I texted a mom-friend whose daughter is picked up before B and they were still waiting, so we all jumped in our cars and drove the kids ourselves. Saw several other families at school from our route so not sure what happened, maybe bus maintenance issues. We have an app to track the bus and it was showing somewhere in the area but stationary.

C and I ran to Dillard’s and are now home having lunch.

[klong11]

Back from the doctor who has now prescribed me with steroids and codeine cough syrup. Joy!

[tgrimes]

Sept 25, 2019 11:18:04 GMT -6 klong11 said:

Back from the doctor who has now prescribed me with steroids and codeine cough syrup. Joy!

I hope this works.  You've been sick for awhile now!

[tgrimes]

This mushroom was in my yard. It’s a nipple, right?

[vino]

Well I'm going to have to agree to disagree, but I digress.

[lahdeedah]

Sept 25, 2019 10:38:06 GMT -6 vino said:

Sept 25, 2019 10:22:21 GMT -6 lahdeedah said:

I get this. And I know I have been there, too. The moment that gave me pause was when she dropped her off at the crossing guard. I took this to mean on the sidewalk, with no teachers around to help. I wouldn’t do that. I would take them inside to a safe space.

I’ve ran away from my kids too, but it’s always been a hand off to a teacher inside a building.

Right.  But kids that are grade 1/2/3 or however old they are can walk across the street or from the other side of the street to the school.  It's no different from the drop off line where you drop them off with a monitor and they go into the school.

obviously dont know the specifics of the 'where' a parent can drop off the kids, where they are monitored, what time they have to be where, and it's kind of a moot point because it's the lack of kindness in the moment and judgey chatter towards the Mom that's getting to me.  I'm imagining that was my morning and rather then people coming to help out everyone stands around staring, I dislike that very, very much.

Based on the scene described, this girl isn’t capable of just walking across the street, though.

Honestly, I don’t expect anyone to come help me if I’m having a rough day/drop off. Usually that just makes my kid angrier because they are embarrassed now that they have an audience and I’m probably not in the mood to want to talk to strangers.

I hope there is a teacher or school supervisor that can reach out to the parent and offer to come up with ideas to make drop off more manageable.

[lahdeedah]

Sept 25, 2019 11:22:50 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

This mushroom was in my yard. It’s a nipple, right?

😂

[inthekitty]

But that's the point though, I'm assuming this wasn't the mom's shining moment of parenthood. It's easy to say things like screaming at your child in public is never ok until your child does something totally off-the-wall that pushes you to the point that you do something you previously said you'd never do. I've had parenting moments where I messed up and did things I said I'd never do. For some parents being late to work means losing their job. Without knowing the people, there's no way to know SN or behavioral issues weren't a factor. Since we don't know what happened before the mom was acting hysterical there's no way to get an accurate picture. The kid might have been acting up but all the sudden seeing her mom lose her shit might have made her suddenly stop in her tracks.


ETA: And when my kids are in their peak moment of being turds, no amount of talking rationally about it is going to make a difference. Sometimes they need time to chill out and if there isn't time because of other obligations...

[tallb]

My cousin just sent 4 pints of jenni's ice cream 🎉 I'm pretty excited for dessert tonight!

J also has before and aftercare so I think that also contributes to it. And has a nagging cough..he doesn't want to stop playing per se, but has bags under his eyes and sleeps like a rock.

[wineallthetime]

Sept 25, 2019 11:31:13 GMT -6 inthekitty said:

But that's the point though, I'm assuming this wasn't the mom's shining moment of parenthood. It's easy to say things like screaming at your child in public is never ok until your child does something totally off-the-wall that pushes you to the point that you do something you previously said you'd never do. I've had parenting moments where I messed up and did things I said I'd never do. For some parents being late to work means losing their job. Without knowing the people, there's no way to know SN or behavioral issues weren't a factor. Since we don't know what happened before the mom was acting hysterical there's no way to get an accurate picture. The kid might have been acting up but all the sudden seeing her mom lose her shit might have made her suddenly stop in her tracks.


ETA: And when my kids are in their peak moment of being turds, no amount of talking rationally about it is going to make a difference. Sometimes they need time to chill out and if there isn't time because of other obligations...

Agree. I've done some shitty things as a parent that were not my best moments. Thankfully most have been in private. Like I said, maybe the mom is a crappy shit head of a mom. Maybe she's the most amazing mom and this is the worst 10 minutes of their day. We really don't know. I've full blown yelled at my kid at the park because he wasn't listening and we had to go. Was it my best parenting? No. Were other parents judging me? Probably. However, we had somewhere we needed to be and I could not physically get him to come with me. Not the same thing, I realize, but just an example. Seeing a tiny part of someones day doesn't give you the whole story. 

Would I leave my kid with the crossing guard and run? I'd like to say no, but I've done things out of desperation before that I would have said I'd never do. 

ETA: I'm not beating my kids or anything, just to be clear.

[wineallthetime]

Anywho, I'm at work but only for a bit longer. Headed to boot camp after work. I really want ice cream now that tallb posted about her delicious gift, but I will stay strong.

[mwhip]

Sept 25, 2019 11:22:50 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

This mushroom was in my yard. It’s a nipple, right?

This is totally a nipple

[mwhip]

Sept 25, 2019 11:18:04 GMT -6 klong11 said:

Back from the doctor who has now prescribed me with steroids and codeine cough syrup. Joy!

I hope you can get some good sleep and get to feeling better finally!

[wineallthetime]

Sept 25, 2019 11:22:50 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

This mushroom was in my yard. It’s a nipple, right?

Yes. Yes it is.

[cagoldi]

I definitely don’t think anyone is making the argument this is a good strategy, but I am also wondering how we know SN isn’t a thing?

That is not a reason to act badly towards your kids, if anything, I think it’s easier to have patience when that’s the case. But I know people are judging X all the time. I can see them and feel them, and people do say “he doesn’t look autistic.” 🙄

So I feel like this could go both ways. X sits down in the middle of the street because he is tired or doesn’t understand what he should do, I collect him and get him to the sidewalk safely, and people are looking at us both like he’s just a disobedient jerk and I am too permissive. 🤷‍♀️

Again, not a good parenting moment for that mom but I hesitate to draw any other conclusions than they both had a rough morning and she couldn’t summon the skills she needed at that moment.

[cagoldi]

I went to Barre. My muscles are shaking. I ha d a ton of stuff to accomplish before we leave town tomorrow.

My sister’s dog, Jack, and Pipsqueak have this adorable little bond:

[lfig]

Lol to the nipple mushroom!

@klongoria have you ever been to a pulmonologist? My dad struggles with chronic lung issues, bronchitis, asthma, etc. it’s much better controlled since he started seeing a pulmonologist. But his coughs would be horrible and stick around for a long time. I feel like you’ve struggled with this same issue several times in the past.

[klong11]

lfig, I have not, but if these steroids don't kick it I may look into it. I've had a scan done that included both my hearts and lungs and I did have some scarring on my lungs from previous bronchial issues.

[lfig]

I’m with cagoldi on this. There have been numerous times that I have gotten “looks” when S has been especially difficult. If people don’t know us, and if S isn’t wearing her braces, nothing about her stands out that’s says she has SN. I often find myself over sharing, and telling people (who probably don’t care) that S is a medically complex child or has SN or whatever because I feel like I have to explain away her behavior. I know I don’t have to, and as much as I want to not care what people think....I do care, so I feel the need to explain.

Now, do I feel like leaving the child with the crossing guard was the best choice, no. But, also, not knowing the situation and what led up to it...no judgment here. Pre-kid....I probably would have totally been a judgy ass hole. Lol. My, how perspectives change with parenthood! Lol.

[tgrimes]

I just feel badly for the little girl. I know what it's like to have a mother that causes scenes in public and it is so fucking embarrassing. I'm glad another parent helped her up and walked her across to get her to school.