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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 8, 2019 13:45:06 GMT -6
I told the office gossip about my new job, so now everyone knows. I did that on purpose so I wouldn't have to awkwardly tell everyone (I did personally tell my team though). I did the same thing when I was pregnant with DS2.
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Cheshie6
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Post by Cheshie6 on May 8, 2019 19:22:42 GMT -6
I’m going to catch up after I get Liam down but he’s definitely allergic to something he touches outside! Why can’t I catch a break this time DH is gone? In less than 6 hours he went from clear hands to hands that are swollen and crusty. I will feel awful if this kid can’t play outside like a regular kid considering how much he loves it. He wants to go up and down hills, he picks dandelions because they are yellow (his favorite color), he just started saying grass and now itchy!?!
Why is parenting so hard and emotionally draining?
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danib
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Post by danib on May 9, 2019 4:05:27 GMT -6
Ohh Cheshie6 I'm sorry that's so sad. Hopefully there's a fix and he can play outside to his heart's content.
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danib
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Post by danib on May 9, 2019 4:19:57 GMT -6
No flights offshore again today. DH is getting on a boat in a few hours. Should be home sometime tomorrow morning.
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Post by cookswithwine on May 9, 2019 7:14:11 GMT -6
Family vacation drama ahead: So apparently H and FIL are under the impression that I told them we were definitely going on the family trip to Disney in Dec this year (they go every year, we haven’t gone since O was 1). I do NOT remember saying that at all! Reasons for not going: 1) D will be 4 mo old so I’ll still be nursing. And he probably won’t be sleeping through the night. 2) I was planning on using all my PTO this year for maternity leave. 3) $$$ - it’s going to cost us 5k to have a baby so I wasn’t planning on any vacations this year.
H was all upset w me saying I said we would go. Now I feel like the bad guy. My initial reaction was absolutely not... but now I’m thinking maybe we could make it work. Vacationing w a 4mo old freaks me out. I have a fear of nursing in public (dumb, I know). I could save a couple PTO days and not get paid on Mat leave instead. And $, we could probably swing but it would be tight. What do you guys think? Would you go?
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on May 9, 2019 7:20:36 GMT -6
cookswithwine I'm probably going to be alone on my island and that's okay. I wouldn't go. I wouldn't have any fun on that trip with a 4 month old and it wouldn't be worth it to me to spend all that money and be miserable. I also don't nurse in public. I don't care if other people do but both of my kids had latching problems and i'd have to shape my boob and help them out and I could never do it with a nursing cover on. I know people that have gone to Disney with babies and they had a blast. I'm just not one of those people that would enjoy it.
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kleigh
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Post by kleigh on May 9, 2019 7:47:19 GMT -6
cookswithwine NOPE. I’m with tgrimes . I most def wouldn’t be going. If YH really wants to go, maybe he can take O? I just cannot imagine traveling with a toddler plus 4 month old, of course I’m also a prude when it comes to going anywhere with my kids bc they are very much all over the place and have issues with everything (the car seat, the stroller, being held, having to walk, sitting down and eating in restaurants, etc ) lol. And I totally get wanting to spend all your PTO on baby.. I also understand you not wanting to disappoint, but consider yourself too. That’s a lot to ask of you IMO.
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Post by goldenlove on May 9, 2019 7:55:04 GMT -6
cookswithwine I probably wouldn't go either. It took a lot for me even going to Target when C was a baby so I can't imagine something like Disney. But we hardly go on family trips so it's hard for me to imagine big trips. I have friends who just traveled with 3 under 5 and it blows my mind lol. Do you expect your H and ILs to be helpful with the kids or would you end up having to be the main caretaker?
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danib
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Post by danib on May 9, 2019 8:14:04 GMT -6
cookswithwine I personally wouldn't go. If I'm dropping 5k on a family trip, we ALL better be able to enjoy it. And I could sit topless on a bench and nurse a kid on each boob if that's what I needed to do, so the ability to nurse on the go doesn't even factor for me, and I STILL wouldn't want to deal with a trip at 4 months post partum. Then factor in the PTO and I'm just more solid on my NOPE.
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Post by cookswithwine on May 9, 2019 8:25:09 GMT -6
goldenlove I think H and the in laws would be helpful w O but I’ll prob be stuck w D due to having the boobs. danib it’s going to cost $5k to have DS2 - hospital bills/OB bills, etc. so that is what we have been saving for all year. I’m not exactly sure how much the trip would cost, probably a couple thousand.
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danib
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Post by danib on May 9, 2019 8:28:01 GMT -6
goldenlove I think H and the in laws would be helpful w O but I’ll prob be stuck w D due to having the boobs. danib it’s going to cost $5k to have DS2 - hospital bills/OB bills, etc. so that is what we have been saving for all year. I’m not exactly sure how much the trip would cost, probably a couple thousand. Oops my bad! But either way, whether its 1k or 5k, it's not pocket change.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on May 9, 2019 8:39:18 GMT -6
FTR I only took M with me to see my parents in March because I didn't want to deal with H on the plane, pay for his airline ticket, pay for his Disneyland ticket and deal with him trying to nap at Disneyland, nap at my parents' house or sleep at my parents' house. Clearly it's all about me.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on May 9, 2019 8:41:42 GMT -6
I had pizza for breakfast.
Clearly I'm winning at life today.
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Post by goldenlove on May 9, 2019 8:55:49 GMT -6
I'm reaching my breaking point at work again. Nothing serious happened but I feel like I'm rehashing the same exact things over and over again. And things that haven't changed in 5+ years are coming up as issues. I guess this is the problem with working on the same project for so long. I really think I need to just cut the cord after my maternity leave and force myself to find something new after. I can't come back to this again.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 9:14:30 GMT -6
cookswithwine, We're a day trip only family in general, but I think having a 4 month old is a perfectly valid reason to not go on a Disney trip, in addition to the other reasons you listed. Also, if it were me, I would want to be spending that time with O since he'll be old enough to take it all in. I'd want to experience that with him, which I wouldn't be able to do if I was stuck in a hotel room with a nursing/napping baby.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 9:17:58 GMT -6
I'm sorry goldenlove. I really hope you're able to escape that place after your maternity leave!
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on May 9, 2019 9:26:12 GMT -6
cookswithwine Also, Disney isn't the best place for a 4 month old without all of their shots yet, IMO. Just trying to find you some more excuses. lol.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 9:33:14 GMT -6
So we had a meeting with DS1's school on Tuesday to go over his evaluation and talk about Kindergarten. It was terrible. I cried in the meeting and I'm crying now just trying to type it all out.
The school psychologist just kept saying that his scores were very concerning and that if he stays at this level he will be looking at an intellectually disabled diagnosis in a few years. She gave us all the scores for each section and then also the percentiles. The best percentile he had was 3%. Most of them were 1% and below. They recommended him for the Student Learning Center (SLC, which is basically a self contained special education classroom) for next year. He'd also be at a different school since there are only 2 of these in the district.
Also, a lot of what they said he can't/doesn't do, he does at home just fine. Like getting his jacket and backpack on. She said he can't do either of those without help, but MH and I were like... well he does both of those things just fine at home. She also said he can't really answer questions or doesn't answer them correctly. But he can, you just have to ask him in the right way. You can't ask him broad vague questions, that won't get you anywhere. Saying "what did you do today?" will get you no where with him. You have to ask specific questions: Did you a read a book today? Yes! What book did you read? The Very Hungry Caterpillar Did you read it by yourself or did the teacher read it out loud? The teacher read it
And they just tell us to work with him at home but they don't give us any examples of things we can work on.
It was just a very frustrating and heartbreaking meeting. He's a good kid and I feel like no one else sees that. When we got there and we were in the room with just the teacher waiting for the other people to join MH asked how Jonah is doing and she said "ummm... well..." Like really? You can't even muster up a "he's a sweet kid, but we still have some things to work on" or something like that? I mean damn, even I know how to give a compliment sandwich, you'd think a special education preschool teacher would know how to speak with parents.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 9:33:40 GMT -6
Sorry that was long and rambling, I'm still trying to process everything.
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Post by goldenlove on May 9, 2019 10:00:14 GMT -6
cookswithwine, We're a day trip only family in general, but I think having a 4 month old is a perfectly valid reason to not go on a Disney trip, in addition to the other reasons you listed. Also, if it were me, I would want to be spending that time with O since he'll be old enough to take it all in. I'd want to experience that with him, which I wouldn't be able to do if I was stuck in a hotel room with a nursing/napping baby. This is a very good point! I do not want to miss C experiencing Disney for the first time. Not sure if O has been yet but even so, I'm sure at this age the experience changes quite a bit.
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danib
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Post by danib on May 9, 2019 10:17:37 GMT -6
I'm sorry jubilantsquirrel. Has anyone looked into the possability of him having some sort of social anxiety (or similar)? If he can do things at home but not at school, could it be because he's "freezing under pressure". Same with the questions, a broad one being too overwhelming... Is there any other options for evaluation if you feel this one isn't reflective of his true abilities?
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on May 9, 2019 10:23:11 GMT -6
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on May 9, 2019 10:24:32 GMT -6
jubilantsquirrel In all seriousness, I'm really sorry. Are there any other school options for him other than the one he's currently in? Or would you have to move for that? It doesn't seem like these "educators" are willing to put in any extra effort, if that makes sense.
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Post by goldenlove on May 9, 2019 10:37:27 GMT -6
jubilantsquirrel wow to her response. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this again. What do you think about this new school? I know you were talking about stopping the private sessions but do you think those were helping?
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 10:39:26 GMT -6
I'm sorry jubilantsquirrel . Has anyone looked into the possability of him having some sort of social anxiety (or similar)? If he can do things at home but not at school, could it be because he's "freezing under pressure". Same with the questions, a broad one being too overwhelming... Is there any other options for evaluation if you feel this one isn't reflective of his true abilities? We started looking into some of the Autism centers, but we'll have to wait until I start my new job because of insurance. The top two have year+ wait lists, but there are other really good ones that just have a few months. Hopefully that is something we can get done this summer.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 10:40:43 GMT -6
This week is teacher appreciation week. I completely forgot about it after Monday (I sent chocolate chip cookies to school), but now I don't even feel bad about forgetting.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 10:43:30 GMT -6
jubilantsquirrel In all seriousness, I'm really sorry. Are there any other school options for him other than the one he's currently in? Or would you have to move for that? It doesn't seem like these "educators" are willing to put in any extra effort, if that makes sense. We'd have to look into private schools, but I don't know that we'd be able to afford that. If we provide transportation, he can go to any school in the district. The SLC they recommended for him are in two schools in the district and they would provide transportation to them. We don't have a choice of which one he goes to, I think they just tells at some point where he's been placed. We can tour the SLCs though, so we'll probably try to get that done before the end of the school year. Really, I think he would do well in a general kindergarten class if he had a para with him though.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 10:47:15 GMT -6
jubilantsquirrel wow to her response. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this again. What do you think about this new school? I know you were talking about stopping the private sessions but do you think those were helping? There are two different schools with SLC that he can go to, but we don't get to pick. We can tour them but the district will just place him in one and let us know where he's going. I think we're going to keep doing speech. Since I'm changing jobs I'll have to start all over with a new deductible, but it's fine. It's worth it in my opinion. He's made huge improvements with his private speech sessions and we love his therapist.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on May 9, 2019 10:49:30 GMT -6
I'm most frustrated that they don't really tell us what they are doing to correct whatever behaviors they are complaining about. Like he doesn't put on his jacket, well what are you doing to get him to put on his jacket? We ask and they don't really give us an answer.
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danib
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Post by danib on May 9, 2019 10:54:10 GMT -6
Please check out thr private board and tell me if I'm a terrible person.
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