waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Mar 20, 2019 11:30:35 GMT -6
Wake up! Where is everyone?
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waitwhat
Sapphire
Posts: 4,801 Likes: 15,856
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Post by waitwhat on Mar 20, 2019 11:34:53 GMT -6
Hiiii. I'm shoving some food in my face quickly and then I need to shower. B had school this morning and J and I went grocery shopping. Its a beautiful day so I am hoping once the kids get up from naps we can get outside for a walk.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Mar 20, 2019 11:40:50 GMT -6
So we had DS1's school conference yesterday and maybe I just don't know how conferences are supposed to go but I wasn't overly pleased with it all.
We met with his teacher and also the speech therapist (who is different than the gal we worked with when we were having him evaluated and this was the first time I've met this woman). Anyway, the teacher told us that DS1 really excels with academic portion of everything. Does really well with shapes/numbers/letters and sequences and all that jazz. Where he struggles is with his social skills (which we knew already and one of the main reasons why he's in the developmental preschool in the first place). The speech therapist talked for a bit about what he's not doing and how if he doesn't change ASAP he won't be ready for general Kindergarten next year. Which, ok. But she then she didn't really tell us what she does with him and did really give us any info on what we can do at home with him to help.
She basically went on and on about his lack of interest in other kids and his inability to participate in groups. She gave an example of how she has as Mr. Potato Head and will give each kid one piece and they have to work together to put the pieces in the right spots. She Jonah cannot do that at all. Ok, so what are you doing and what can we do to help him get to a point where he can participate? The best answer we got from either of them was to have him play with cousins who are his age. Which... he doesn't have cousins who are his age. So, that's not helpful at all.
Like, everything they told us we already knew, but then they didn't really give us anything to work on at home. So IDK what to do.
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waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Mar 20, 2019 11:52:16 GMT -6
I'm sorry jubilantsquirrel. That doesn't sound helpful at all. Like you literally took nothing away from it. And the "play with cousins his age" bit has me rolling my eyes so hard. Like who automatically assumes people have cousins their own age? That is really strange to me. I don't have much to add as I have only had one school conference for B. But I get your frustrations because I wish I had the tools and the knowledge to help B get over his social anxiety. Isn't that what immersing them in school is partly for? Re: the potato head thing. Can you maybe try that activity at home? Like, your H, you, and O? All take a piece and pass the thing around so that he is familiar with the idea of it? I guess that is probably what I would do in the situation. I am not sure if it will help him with social aspect of it because he's comfortable at home with you guys but maybe at school it will click that he's done this before and he will be more apt to do it in school?
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Mar 20, 2019 12:02:15 GMT -6
I'm sorry jubilantsquirrel . That doesn't sound helpful at all. Like you literally took nothing away from it. And the "play with cousins his age" bit has me rolling my eyes so hard. Like who automatically assumes people have cousins their own age? That is really strange to me. I don't have much to add as I have only had one school conference for B. But I get your frustrations because I wish I had the tools and the knowledge to help B get over his social anxiety. Isn't that what immersing them in school is partly for? Re: the potato head thing. Can you maybe try that activity at home? Like, your H, you, and O? All take a piece and pass the thing around so that he is familiar with the idea of it? I guess that is probably what I would do in the situation. I am not sure if it will help him with social aspect of it because he's comfortable at home with you guys but maybe at school it will click that he's done this before and he will be more apt to do it in school? This is a good idea! We really need to work on him asking for help or if he wants something. He's always been so independent that when we wanted something he would just figure out a way to get himself (usually involved pushing a chair to the counter so he could climb up and get candy from the top cabinets). She also mentioned that he doesn't really tell her things - like if he drew something he doesn't say "look what I made Miss M!" and I agree he doesn't do that often, but he will do it at home. If he's excited about something he made at school he'll say to me "Ohhh, what did you make?!" which means he wants me to ask him what he made at school that day.
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danib
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Post by danib on Mar 20, 2019 12:35:17 GMT -6
H doesn't seem to have what C has. He was perfect night and this morning. C on the other hand spiked a fever again after school today. DH wants me to bring him to the doctor. I'll try tomorrow if he seems sick still, but it keeps coming and going so it's really hard to know what to do (plus I don't like taking up an appointment if it's just something viral that literally needs to just work itself out).
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starbuck
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Post by starbuck on Mar 20, 2019 13:26:01 GMT -6
jubilantsquirrel, that's really annoying. Like, thanks for the feedback I guess but my gosh, they could have given you something more than "cousins" as a solution. I agree with waitwhat, that you can try to simulate some of that at school - but I think (correct if I'm wrong) sometimes kids who have trouble socializing with kids are better with adults (and I get the sense J may be that way)? Are there any other opportunities for him to interact with kids that you can get him involved with? (eg a kids activity such as music class, team sport, whatever) or can he join you at the gym by going to child watch? IIRC he's in school PT so maybe some supplementary time in kid-full activities will be helpful since you don't have family with kids nearby. Otherwise, just move to ATL and we can get our kids together. Problem solved! I'm at work and staying later than usual tonight for a meeting. It's supposed to run to 5:30 but with the group I expect it to go over. And then two of the people are dialing in and it's just me and one of the partners here in the office. He and I can talk so if we get going after the meeting IDK how late I'll be here. FIL is bringing W home from golf lessons (a bday gift from MIL) and taking H and the kids to dinner tonight so he has extra hands and I should be home in time to help get the twins to bed. We haven't had a proposal to write in a few weeks and I'm kind of going fucking crazy at work.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Mar 20, 2019 13:47:04 GMT -6
starbuck, I've been looking into other activities. I might try some sports through the Y, I think he would enjoy soccer. We have the library, which I believe has activities as well. The problem is trying to get my ILs to take him to the things that are during the day since I'm not home to do it. Right now he's in afternoon classes M-Th and then he has private speech (for now) Fridays at 12. I did find a place that does a playgroup for kids with developmental delays as well as neurotypical kids, but it's only on Tuesdays in a city about 30 minutes away and would overlap with school. I'm trying to do more research to see what else I can find out there.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Mar 25, 2019 20:04:58 GMT -6
jubilantsquirrel I am wicked late to this and I don’t know if it’s been touched on somewhere else, but I had some thoughts. First of all, this is all really annoying. As a health care professional, I am only with these people a couple hours a week. The majority of my care is teaching patients or family how to carry over whatever it is we are working on together. And whenever I meet family, I get them involved in any way possible. So now, I’m going to possibly look at this from another angle. I cant recall, where are you in terms of diagnostic testing? Did you commit to getting tested, do you have it scheduled, does the SLP know about your intentions? I ask this because support personnel are not suppose to recommend neuro developmental testing for any specific diagnosis. I wonder if she was just trying to alert you to the problems she’s seeing as a way to encourage you to get testing. If you get testing and a diagnosis, than he can get an IEP and supports for whatever accommodations he needs to attend regular school. If he doesn’t have a diagnosis, he can’t get an IEP, and may not be able to participate in regular school. With all that being said, if shes in the loop, than she really missed the mark with providing a home exercise program to address the problems she has identified. My mom was visiting this past week and she was giving me tips for how to improve O’s executive function. One thing was to give them the words to describe a picture or an event. “Oh! I noticed you combined those two colors”. “That makes me feel happy to see this picture. How did you feel coloring it?” I don’t know if this is relevant but hopefully helps.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Mar 26, 2019 8:57:50 GMT -6
Thank you hangry! So, I'm planning on asking about testing at his 5 year checkup next week. The teacher did ask us how our pedi felt about DS1's development and if he has any concerns. The honest answer to that is our pedi doesn't really know DS1. Every appointment ever that kid has screamed and thrashed and been very uncooperative. Our pedi has never been able to hear him speak or seen his personality or anything. It's also really difficult to try and talk about issues when you have a child clingy to you screaming bloody murder in your ear, you end up just trying to get through it as fast as possible so you can get out of there. BUT I had to take DS1 to DS2's appointment last fall and he was really into it and kept saying it was his turn for the doctor. We saw a different pedi that appointment because our normal one was out of town, so I didn't bring anything up to her. As far as the SPL, she is a different person than who we did out initial evaluation with. I don't know this woman and I've never spoken to her. All of our meetings prior to DS1 starting at the preschool were with someone completely different. I don't know if she just doesn't work there anymore or what. We did tell them that were planning on asking for testing at his next appointment, but the SPL just kept saying that he won't succeed at general kindergarten at the level he's at now, but didn't give us any ways to help him get to that level. She has sent home a worksheet a couple of times, and we do go over those with him, but as far as the meeting last week, she didn't give us anything specific that we should be working on. I'm also annoyed because no one has contacted DS1's private speech therapist either, even thought I filled out a release form before he started. She's been seeing him over a year now and is more than willing to tailor her sessions so that she's working on the same stuff he's working on at school.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Mar 26, 2019 10:53:28 GMT -6
Well that’s really annoying about the speech therapist. She is not doing her job or her due diligence. I’m glad you have a private therapist too. Maybe ask that one for more things you can do at home.
For the doctor check up, make sure you are ready to be an advocate in case the doctor is flippant about your concerns. I already know you will be, I just know that I alwasy need a reminder that I am not making things up.
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