wedding
Emerald
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Post by wedding on Mar 13, 2019 9:22:25 GMT -6
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guster
Emerald
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Post by guster on Mar 13, 2019 9:25:17 GMT -6
We get the questions— some hold on for multiple conversations and lots of tears (like death) and some are one offs (religion and babies). Josie knows Trump is our president, but nothing about him.
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guster
Emerald
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Post by guster on Mar 13, 2019 9:26:14 GMT -6
Happy Birthday, joelies! Hope you’re enjoying Miami! |
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joelies
Sapphire
You must chill
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Post by joelies on Mar 13, 2019 9:34:16 GMT -6
Colin does know Trump is naughty, though I never told him. Apparently he listens when I have NPR on in the car...
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Post by flamingo on Mar 13, 2019 10:11:37 GMT -6
Hi!
Frantically cleaning, my parents are due in at 2. C did not help things by peeing in my bed 😠, she was watching TV while I cleaned that end of the house and I guess dozed off, and I didn’t have her in a pull-up since I didn’t think she’d nap. Whoops. So now I’m having to wash everything and remake my bed.
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klong11
Ruby
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Post by klong11 on Mar 13, 2019 10:59:57 GMT -6
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cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 11:18:30 GMT -6
Yes wedding. We’ve covered same sex marriage and how babies get in bellies here. Also a lot of questions about religion and praying and churches (we don’t go to any house of worship and he could not understand the concept) Pretty similar to our house. Now Atticus wants to have a second dad. |
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cagoldi
Opal
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 11:19:32 GMT -6
wedding yes to deep questions. About death, politics & babies etc. We told ds that if two people really love each other they can make a baby. Mommy has mini eggs & daddy has seeds. Dad puts a seed in mom & mommy grows the seed/egg in her belly. We then looked at a YouTube video of an in uterine baby. I omitted the technical part 🙄. I did explain that sometimes a doctor can do it, if it is difficult or if there’s no daddy (single mom friends & lesbian friends with two kids). This is almost exactly how I explained it. |
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Post by wineallthetime on Mar 13, 2019 11:20:12 GMT -6
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Post by wineallthetime on Mar 13, 2019 11:22:09 GMT -6
I asked C the other day who our president is and he said, "Mary Trumpet". Cracked me up.
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cagoldi
Opal
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 11:25:50 GMT -6
The religious discussions are the most uncomfortable for me.
We don’t talk about heaven or God, specifically, more like a “some people believe _______ .”
I don’t tell him what I think unless he asks, but then have to follow it up with a quick “it’s okay to believe something different than me and Daddy, whatever makes sense to you and feels good is fine.”
But in all honesty I would probably be at least a little upset if he ever became very religious.
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 11:30:41 GMT -6
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Sunny41
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Post by Sunny41 on Mar 13, 2019 11:34:20 GMT -6
Happy birthday joelies! Enjoy your vacation! |
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klong11
Ruby
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Post by klong11 on Mar 13, 2019 11:39:32 GMT -6
cagoldi, "some people believe" is how I do religion as well. I do use heaven for her, not that I believe in it, more that I wanted to give her a tangible idea to grasp when my Dad passed away.
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cagoldi
Opal
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 11:46:40 GMT -6
cagoldi, "some people believe" is how I do religion as well. I do use heaven for her, not that I believe in it, more that I wanted to give her a tangible idea to grasp when my Dad passed away. Yeah I wouldn’t want him to tell other kids heaven isn’t real, even though I don’t think it is. Goodness knows what their parents are telling them and how upsetting that could be. |
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klong11
Ruby
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Post by klong11 on Mar 13, 2019 11:48:20 GMT -6
cagoldi , "some people believe" is how I do religion as well. I do use heaven for her, not that I believe in it, more that I wanted to give her a tangible idea to grasp when my Dad passed away. Yeah I wouldn’t want him to tell other kids heaven isn’t real, even though I don’t think it is. Goodness knows what their parents are telling them and how upsetting that could be. That's where her religion questions come from. Kids at school. |
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Post by peachsmama on Mar 13, 2019 11:48:37 GMT -6
Religion is my hang up right now. I grew up in church but don't agree with a lot of it. And since my pastors wife posted pro- trump stuff on facebook 2 years ago, we haven't been back. My mom is always pushing for it and prays with the boys but I dont think they really understand. I just dont know what to say. "Alot of churches pissed mommy off so we dont talk about it" seems less than ideal 🤷♀️ but I dont want to shut it down completely because I dont know that I'm totally done with my church or religion.
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jewels
Opal
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Post by jewels on Mar 13, 2019 11:52:36 GMT -6
cagoldi the religious questions make me the most uncomfortable as well. I don't believe anything really, but then I feel guilty for not giving him some basis. It really hit me how much I had been avoiding any discussions when we drove past a church and he said something about the pretty castle. I told him it was a church and he didn't know what it was. I told him some people go there to pray and he didn't know what that was. Then I told him it's how some people choose to talk to God and he didn't know what that was. I guess I need to get on it and figure out how we want to handle all of that.
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wedding
Emerald
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Post by wedding on Mar 13, 2019 11:56:35 GMT -6
I kind of blew the religious talk about a year ago. We were at my parents and they were talking about going to church (Catholic). I was in the middle of something in the other room and C yells out "Mom, why do we never go to church?" I said back "Oomph mom doesn't do Jesus". Then my parents yelled at me and that was the end of that discussion. I am sure it will come up again but not the smoothest opening.
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cagoldi
Opal
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 12:00:45 GMT -6
Religion is my hang up right now. I grew up in church but don't agree with a lot of it. And since my pastors wife posted pro- trump stuff on facebook 2 years ago, we haven't been back. My mom is always pushing for it and prays with the boys but I dont think they really understand. I just dont know what to say. "Alot of churches pissed mommy off so we dont talk about it" seems less than ideal 🤷♀️ but I dont want to shut it down completely because I dont know that I'm totally done with my church or religion. This is understandable. I think if I had children younger, I would have felt like this. But being old and crotchety, at this point I recognize how being raised in a religious household hurt me and created some extremely damaging patterns. So there’s no doubt I am done. jewels I get that feeling of wanting them to have some kind of foundation, but am making a conscious effort to instill an ethical framework that is free from religious morality. This is not a swipe at any religious people I know personally, but when I think about those I admire most and who do the most good, they are almost never religious. |
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guster
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Post by guster on Mar 13, 2019 12:02:10 GMT -6
cagoldi, "some people believe" is how I do religion as well. I do use heaven for her, not that I believe in it, more that I wanted to give her a tangible idea to grasp when my Dad passed away. This is the hardest part for us. We also don’t have any religious affiliation, so the “where are they?” is challenging. |
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cagoldi
Opal
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 12:03:08 GMT -6
IDK if Dude knows anything about Jesus. That whole human sacrifice thing will be interesting to try to explain...
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cagoldi
Opal
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 12:03:38 GMT -6
cagoldi, "some people believe" is how I do religion as well. I do use heaven for her, not that I believe in it, more that I wanted to give her a tangible idea to grasp when my Dad passed away. This is the hardest part for us. We also don’t have any religious affiliation, so the “where are they?” is challenging. Atticus says “they went to the happy mountain.” 😂 |
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cagoldi
Opal
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Post by cagoldi on Mar 13, 2019 12:06:47 GMT -6
I’m getting mad just talking about it so maybe Pete should handle this from now on.
Just thinking about how messed up it is to tell a six year-old there was this one perfect person and he was killed because YOU are flawed. Hell is real and you will go there if you don’t repent.
Wild.
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Mar 13, 2019 12:08:33 GMT -6
H hasn’t really asked any serious questions lately. I am agnostic and don’t really talk about religion at all, but the girls go to a baptist preschool and DH has taken H to church on occasion so they know about it. Of course my ILs and dad are super religious so they’ve gotten religious gifts since they were born. It’s whatever to me. When H talks about death it’s pretty matter of fact, I don’t know that she really understands the gravity of what it means.
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inthekitty
Emerald
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Post by inthekitty on Mar 13, 2019 12:11:11 GMT -6
Religion is a lot harder because none of us know and we don't want to be disrespectful to other's beliefs. It may be awkward explaining something sexual to my kids, but it's factual and I know I'm telling them the truth. But religion is much more complex.
We keep religious discussions very simple for now and I think that's all that's needed at this point since they don't have the cognitive ability to understand deeper existential issues. I'm sure we'll have lots of interesting discussions when they are middle-school aged.
I also don't believe in heaven, per se, (I do believe in an afterlife), but for simplicity sake we say heaven now. 🤷♀️
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jewels
Opal
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Post by jewels on Mar 13, 2019 12:13:03 GMT -6
cagoldi , "some people believe" is how I do religion as well. I do use heaven for her, not that I believe in it, more that I wanted to give her a tangible idea to grasp when my Dad passed away. This is the hardest part for us. We also don’t have any religious affiliation, so the “where are they?” is challenging. So what do you tell them about your parents? MH and I struggle with this about his mom. He hasn't really asked where she is, and I guess he sort of understands that she died as we've talked about her and showed her pictures, and he tells everyone he got his blue eyes from her, but I know all that is coming and I'm not sure what to tell him. |
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jewels
Opal
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Post by jewels on Mar 13, 2019 12:16:11 GMT -6
cagoldi, the guilt about the religion is also because even though logically I do not believe in any of it, and would probably officially be an Agnostic, I self identify as Jewish. It's always been such a large part of who I am, my culture, etc. While I don't believe any of the religious parts of it, I feel like I will want my kids raised how I was, if that makes any sense. Boy, I'm complicated.
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inthekitty
Emerald
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Post by inthekitty on Mar 13, 2019 12:17:47 GMT -6
This is the hardest part for us. We also don’t have any religious affiliation, so the “where are they?” is challenging. So what do you tell them about your parents? MH and I struggle with this about his mom. He hasn't really asked where she is, and I guess he sort of understands that she died as we've talked about her and showed her pictures, and he tells everyone he got his blue eyes from her, but I know all that is coming and I'm not sure what to tell him. I have said things like "they live on in our hearts and memories." They haven't pressed too much about physical location. So far it's worked to redirect them to focus on positive memories we have of loved ones who have died. |
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inthekitty
Emerald
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Post by inthekitty on Mar 13, 2019 12:23:22 GMT -6
jewels lol. I think that's becoming more common as people are less religious. I think it's possible there was a great man named Jesus, but not the savior, dying for your sins Bible version. But I'm still right there excited to celebrate Christmas. My husband is atheist but taught Sunday school for several years and now teaches at a religious school. He has sanitized a lot of the lessons he's given to teach because he keeps it more about "be a good person" than some of the other nonsense. I cringe at the irony of some very religious people who censor most of the media from their kids but are okay with telling them stories about children being murdered because it's in the bible. 🤦♀️
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