SAHP Check In 6/25

[Radley]

Achievements:

Challenges:

Plans for the week?

How are YOU doing?

Q's/Vent?

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? Tea and book? Massage? Bath?

[cam]

Achievements: Making my way back here during and after the big moves, my home and the forum respectively. Hi, everyone! Looks like a mix of familiar faces and new ones, so hopefully things are a bit livelier than the previous board was in the end.

Challenges: Way, WAY too much to do with not enough time to do it in.

Plans for the week? Some of the moving. Painting. Picking out some stuff we need for our new house. Getting together with my sister. Work (for the new people on this board, I am mostly a SAHM but work occasionally at my old job). I think this week is pretty low key as far as LO's schedule, but he does have plenty of ideas to make up for that. I can't think of what else, but there is definitely more.

How are YOU doing? Physically, I am having an absolutely horrible day today. Overall though, I am doing great.

Q's/Vent? Hmmm; I had something I was trying to decide earlier - how I wanted something in the new house - so if I remember what it was, I should bring it back here.

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? Tea and book? Massage? Bath? Sorry you are stressed; I hope you are able to work through it or at least get a temporary escape from it soon (not sure what is stressing you, so apply those hopes in whatever way is applicable). As for your question...

Tough question to answer as I have a lot of go-to's for relaxing. Which I pick at any given time depends on if I need to relax physically or mentally or both, what the main stressor is if there is a main one (i.e. if I need a distraction to get my mind off of something), etc, as well as what parameters I have to work with (i.e. still having to be responsible for LO during my relaxation time, being short on time, etc). A few off the top of my head: Hobbies. Sitting outside on a nice day, enjoying the peace and quiet. Getting together with friends. Massage. Bath in the soaking tub. Relaxation type "stretching" (not to fully stretch out/loosen muscles but just get them stretched back to proper tension instead of being tightened up and overly tensed), such laying down for 10 minutes on the right surface to naturally straighten out my neck/back/shoulders a bit to stretch back out any muscles that are tensed up. Brain/logic type puzzles. I am sure that is already way more than "a few," so I'll cut myself off now.

[auri]

Welcome back cam! I was wondering where you've been.
As for me...

Achievements: We made it through last week.

Challenges: Living really far away from my family.

Plans for the week? We started putting DD in daycare for 2 days a week. Tomorrow I am looking forward to doing laundry and mowing the grass without help. Other than that, DH's bday is Friday but no other plans yet.

How are YOU doing? I'm doing better this week. Last week I had a pretty bad week. My mom lost her vision in one eye, went to the dr and found that she had a stroke. She ended up having surgery Wed to correct the problem in her neck to try to prevent her from having another stroke. She's doing a lot better now and is back home.

Q's/Vent?

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? Tea and book? Massage? Bath?

I enjoy things that get my mind off of what is currently bothering me. Last week I lived on playing Legend of Zelda. Usually reading a book, playing music, or mindless video game works pretty well for me.

[poptarts]

Achievements: we had a good weekend behavior wise for my almost 5 year old.

Challenges: Keeping the kids from fighting with one another.

Plans: My MOMS Club meets Wednesday and we have some play dates this week, not much going on.

How am I feeling: okay, very tired. DD has been up early the last two days with a nose bleed.

How do I de-stress: usually take a walk or read. Sometimes, retail therapy.

[elsiemae]

Morning ladies!

Achievements: We had our first successful fishing trip yesterday afternoon. The kids had a blast. And we ended up catching 4 little fish in about an hour. Definitely not how I remember fishing as a child. I remember being stuck on a boat for hours, and nobody catching a damn thing!

Challenges: TW ~mention of pregnancy and previous loss~. I tested positive last week but my tests never seemed to get darker. Had my HCG ran on Friday, and it was only 24:/ Retesting again today, but with my history of 2 other losses, I don't have a good feeling about this.

Plans for the week? I know we will go to the library sometime this week. And we will probably go to a splash pad or beach this week as well, if it warms up.

How are YOU doing? Meh.

Q's/Vent? I've got nothing

QOTD: What is you favorite relaxing technique? Usually crocheting or reading.

[elsiemae]

auri, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. We live far away from family as well, and it is so hard when a family member has a scary medical issue. I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts.

[NamasteBirches]

Achievements: I'm not really sure tbh.

Challenges: I'm really sore from this weekend.

Plans for the week? DS had an eye appt this morning before camp so camps & continuing to be his chauffeur/life planner. Lol

How are YOU doing? Sore.

Q's/Vent? I'm sore.

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? Napping? I like the quiet when I'm stressed or doing simple things I like such as vegging out to stupid tv shows for example or hanging out here.

[NamasteBirches]

LT for everything else, I'm sorry for your losses elsiemae FX for you

[cam]

auri and elsiemae, hugs!

[jnetx]

Achievements: Got all of my chores done, worked out 3x, enjoyed my vacay with my H

Challenges: I was about at my limit with my patience with the kids before we left. After a 3 day break, I'm feeling much better, though. Still very frustrated that my mom said there were no tantrums yet they were both handfuls for me today.

Plans for the week? Today was unpacking/trip recovery. Wednesday is my MOMS club breakfast Meetup. I'm sure there will be a pool trip in there.

How are YOU doing? Zen and happy, after my beach trip

Q's/Vent? Almost-four-year-old tantrums are the worst

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? Tea and book? Massage? Bath? Time away from the kids, when possible. Even a trip to the grocery store by myself can give me a breath of fresh air. Other than that, small pleasures. I am always make myself a yummy ice coffee every morning and try to set aside time to drink it in peace (usually kids watch a cartoon and eat their snack during this time...if not, I drink it in the car so at least I'm not chasing kids). I also refuse to use nap time for chores. Protecting those two times in my routines gives me something to look forward to and gives me enough me-time when I'm not getting it anywhere else.

[Radley]

Achievements: we made it through the most insane part of June! Also I got the boys room a new organizer and now their room is set up in a much better way.

Challenges: DS1 is still lashing out although not quite a badly. We're working on making sure he is getting enough positive attention. DS2 had his barium swallow study and it showed that his eating/chewing is not good and that he is aspirating. On Wednesday we have an evaluation set up to see if he qualifies for oral motor therapy. He should.

Plans for the week? Just the gym most days. Wednesday is R's evaluation and Friday we have a play date to the splash pad.

How are YOU doing? Still tired. I was diagnosed with depression the other day, but I am feeling mostly overwhelmed.

Q's/Vent? I'm trying my dead level best not to lose it with DS1 but his attitude is frustrating me to no end.

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? Tea and book? Massage? Bath?
I love to read but I can't do that with the kids awake because being interrupted eleventy billion times frustrates me so badly that I don't get any relaxing from it.

[elsiemae]

Radley, FX that the oral motor therapy helps.

[punkypower]

Achievements: Went to the gym two times last week and hiking another day.

Challenges:

Plans for the week? Getting out of the house today! I think we'll meet MH for lunch and then do I don't know what. Maybe a park? DS has his math tutor this afternoon. Wed-Legoland for the water area mainly. Thurs-DS is having a play date with his BF that he rarely sees. I'm hoping it's at their house but either way I'm fine. Fri-helping my mom with yard stuff in the morning. Going to see Dispicable Me at some point over the weekend.

How are YOU doing? Yesterday I confirmed that I hate staying home all day. Two days and it definitely as affecting my mood. Which leads to the vent...

Q's/Vent? I have a huge love/hate relationship with computers. DS perfect summer is sitting in front of the computer all day, every day. The drama that ensues over leaving...

[dizzycooks]

Achievements: Not much so far.

Challenges:
dd1 (5) is pushing back and not listening, refusing to follow basic expectations and overall being a real challenge. I am trying to stand firm and be consistent, but it's so much work!

Plans for the week?
Nothing big. It's beautiful out, but see above, dd1 is making doing anything. A challenge so we haven't done much.

How are YOU doing?
I'm eating a lot of crap and drinking more than just water. Not exactly how I planned on leading up to my vacation next month. I'm tired. It's been a long couple of weeks. I want my sweet girl back.

Q's/Vent?
How do you handle when the kids dont listen the first time? For example, the big girls are to ask to be excused and then Clear their dishes. Dd1 will ask to be excused and then leave the room, I'll tell her she needs to do her dishes and she replies "I'm going X, I'll do it in a minute." My thoughts are, no, you'll do it now and then you can do X. This is one example, but the general "offenses" are about this level. Thoughts?

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? Tea and book? Massage? Bath?
I'm trying it all this week. Hot cocoa, tea, sparkling juice, working out, walks, reading, chatting with a friend...not working too well.



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[randomosity]

Achievements: I cleaned up my house (not that you can tell now...) and took all 3 of them to the movies solo for the first time ever and they actually did pretty well. I decided to attempt this on $1 movie day.

Challenges: The constant fighting between my older two. And the stomachache I'm now dealing with thanks to movie theater popcorn. Blehh. Why don't I ever learn...

Plans for the week? If weather permits, we'll squeeze a beach day in (we were supposed to go today with friends but it rained), tomorrow I may have my shit together enough to take them to AC Moore and tie dye shirts at their kids' workshop, maybe squeeze a day for bowling or the library in there...

How are YOU doing? I'm doing okay. Last week ended with me in a bad headspace but I'm doing better. Still a bit worn out but things could be worse.

Q's/Vent? How do you guys handle guilt? I always feel like I'm not doing enough...like we're not going out enough, I'm not teaching them enough, the house isn't clean enough, their meals aren't healthy enough, etc. it causes me so much anxiety.

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? Tea and book? Massage? Bath?
Massage, listen to music, sit by the ocean with a book, go shopping, do some crafting, clean.

[jnetx]

dizzycooks That's a tough one. Part of me is thinking pick your battles. If she really is running off to do one thing and then coming back to clear her plate, maybe that's something you can let slide. The other thing would be to remind her of the expectation as your sitting down to dinner and maybe again when you can tell she's starting to slow down eating. That way it's fresh in her mind. I'm not a big fan of sticker charts/external rewards, but if this is just one of those things that bothers you, maybe do a chart for clearing her plate without being asked.

[auri]

Radley, I'm sorry...I hope things get better soon for you. I feel you on the attitude though.

[jnetx]

randomosity The first thing is that I remind myself that I am a stay at home MOM, not a stay at home cook or stay at home maid. Yes, most of the cooking and cleaning is my responsibility in our household (that sounds like my H doesn't pull his weight--he totally does, but I do the majority of the day to day cleaning), but my first priority is the kids.

Another thing that helps is using certain times of day for chores. I usually do chores from 7-8 am. I don't have a set schedule, I just do whatever needs to be done, but I'm able to stay on top of it pretty well in our smallish house. I've also gotten pretty good at taking advantage of the 5 minute pockets I have when the kids are busy with finishing lunch or something to empty the dishwasher, start a load of laundry, wipe down the table and counters, etc.

As far as teaching, I honestly don't worry about it. If they are interested in something, we talk about it or practice the skill. If I see a book I think they'll like, I'll pick it up. Since preschool is out for the summer, I'm trying to do some fine motor stuff every day, but I only remember about twice a week. I really just follow their lead, though. As a former teacher, the best thing you can do is read to them every day.

[randomosity]

Thank you, jnetx. I appreciate your words of advice!

[Radley]

cam hi! I'm sorry you aren't feeling well physically. That must be difficult with moving and all. Those are really great relaxation ideas. I love stretching after a workout, I should try it when I'm stressed too.

auri I'm so sorry you live so far from family. I can only imagine how hard that must be. I'm so sorry about your mom. Your family will be in my T&P's. **hugs**. And thanks, I'm hoping so too.

poptarts when you figure out how to get your kids to stop fighting, let me know.

elsiemae I'm so sorry for your losses. So many *hugs*. Also thank you, I hope the therapy helps also.

NamasteBirches why so sore? Did I miss something? If it's personal, obviously you can just ignore my nosiness.

jnetx I need to not do chores during nap. I usually start off saying "I'll just put this away" or "just clean this counter" and then I end up "just doing one last thing" until before I know it, the kids are up.

punkypower what do you usually do to get out? I tend to be a home body, too much being out definitely makes me feel crazy, but I realize that my kids are social and I need to reach out more.

dizzycooks I'm having the exact same problem with DS1 who is four. I feel like a crazy person. I don't want to lash out in anger but his pushing back sometimes makes me see red.

randomosity it sounds like you are super busy! I haven't figured out how to handle guilt. Trying to cook healthy, keep a clean house, juggle health issues and disorders, teaching them, all of it feels impossible. It's helped me a lot to keep a planner. I have a really easy one that I update at the beginning of the week and at the end of each night. Seeing them things that are most important to me be checked off really helps.

[randomosity]

Radley,good idea. I actually have a planner but haven't been using it the way I originally intended to. I have a tendency of getting ahead of myself and feeling all stressed out because of it! Ah, mom life.

[punkypower]

Radley we go to nature parks, parks with playgrounds, mall play areas (if your child isn't too tall, we've long outgrown them in height) are great free options. Running errands. Not the most exciting for kids but it's getting out and moving. We have zoos, children's museums, aquariums, and theme parks either minutes away or within a couple of hours. We have passes to several places. Weekdays will always be less crowded. We generally go right after lunch. The crowds tend to lessen then for the smaller zoo, museums. If you have gymnastics places look for open gym times. Most will offer it once a week.

While typing this I was realizing we have lots of things to do-although not as much completely free. We have passes for various zoos and theme parks. I figure out how often we'd go, based on DS age at the time, and decide if a pass is worth it or not. Also I figure out of just DS and I should have the pass or DH also. That helps when deciding what to do on days we aka I must get out.

[NamasteBirches]

Radley we did a chalk walk over the weekend & I apparently can't stoop over or kneel for long periods of time because I busted something in my left leg. The back of my knee/thigh started acting about 2 days after & still is. It felt like just random soreness all over the next day that I just assumed was normal from the all the up & down from drawing, etc but it tuned in to just that area. I don't know if I pulled a hamstring or what. It's such a weird area.

[LED]

Achievements: Our friends are finally moved out and we have our apartment cleaned and back to normal!

Challenges: Naps. She's having a really hard time going down for her afternoon nap, but she takes her morning nap at like 8/9, so she definitely needs it. I thought maybe we could push back her morning nap and then drop the afternoon nap altogether, but I haven't had any luck pushing it back so I'm just limiting it to an hour and that seems to be helping. Except her morning nap was her longer nap, so now she's not napping much and is cranky by bedtime but refuses to sleep before 8/9 no matter what I do.

Plans for the week? Hopefully my sister and her kids are coming to visit at some point.

How are YOU doing? Better now that I can relax a little and get some alone (though still with Ridley) time.

Q's/Vent? They're doing construction on a couple of the roofs and most of the balconies. It'll likely last most of the summer. So. Much. Hammering.

QOTW- I'm feeling stressed so spill: What is your favorite relaxation technique? I don't enjoy cleaning, but when I'm stressed I clean because I always feel better when the area around me is clean. I'm also a big fan of sitting on the couch in my pajamas, playing on my phone, and ignoring everything.