~*~ PgAL/PAIF check-in week of June 25 ~*~

[muscari]

Welcome to the PgAL and PAIF check-in!

This is a weekly check-in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. Feel free to jump in any time!
The check-in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF. Use this thread to ask questions, share your excitement/rage/worries/whatever, or to ask for support!

Please come on in and let us know how you're doing, and know you are always welcome to come back throughout the week whenever you need to!! ♥

*~*~*~*~*


PgAL Mantras
aplacetomeet.freeforums.net/thread/373/pgal-mantras

PAIF Mantras
aplacetomeet.freeforums.net/post/47020/thread


**Loss/trigger warnings are not necessary here**

*~*~*~*~*

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW: Do you ever talk to yourself? When and what do you say?

[muscari]

How far along are you?
32w4d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
My number one symptom that really could take a hike right now is endless, awful reflux, hearthburn and indigestion. No matter how careful I plan both what, when and how much I eat, I just can't get it right. It also messes with how much I drink, as even water contributes, and I know for a fact I'm not drinking enough but just can't help it. Apart from that just the usual 3rd trim stuff I guess. Feeling rather big, easily exhausted, inability to sleep thru the night ugh but can nap like a pro during the day, hip pain and SI joint issues flare up, stuff like that. I am not necessarily complaining but do wonder sometimes how to keep this up for another 8weeks? 😊
Emotionally I'm doing alright most of the time. Am really looking forward meeting the lil one and feeling sort of impatient yet at the same time I want her to cook a good bit longer. And I'm feeling somewhat overwhelmed by how unprepared we are/I feel. I do notice I am struggling with apperently a lot od unprocessed emotions of our MMC. When we were doing our hospital tour last week once we got to the part where they were discussion contractions and all I suddenly started feeling all choked up. Managed to keep it together but ever since I have been having a lot of flashbacks and feelings pop up. 😕

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
I have a check up with the surgeon for my ankle this Wednesday and hope to get rid of my cast and have it exchanged for a pressure bandage instead, so I'm more mobile again. We made a teeny bit of progress on getting things ready for baby and I just want to get on with it!
PG-related appointments won't be till July 3. We'll be meeting with the anesthesiologist to discuss the epidural (because of my ticker issues and since I've had issues with all kinds of pain meds and sedatives), will have another scan to check my placenta (cause of the placenta accreta thing), then will be meeting with the OB (since my MFM is on holiday). Busy morning!

Anything else you'd like to share?
Can't really think of anything right now

QoTW: Do you ever talk to yourself? When and what do you say?
I don't think I talk to myself that often, if I do it's usually some sort of encouragement I think. I do talk to my bump a lot these days, does that count too? *g*

[thinkchocolate05]

muscari I also am thinking of my mmc more lately. I don't really know why. I guess as this new baby comes closer and closer to being 100 percent real and here, it also solidifies that he and the baby we lost are mutually exclusive since the pregnancies would have overlapped significantly. I find myself feeling disloyal to the lost baby for being excited about the new one and then disloyal to the new one for being sad about the lost one. I have a little memory box from the mmc with the first ultrasound pic and an angel bracelet they gave me at the hospital when I had my d&c and sometimes I just hold it and cry which makes me feel better after.

How far along are you? 31w 3d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Lots of hip pain physically and my feet have started swelling more. Emotionally, I'm okay besides what I said above. Baby boy is very active which makes me less crazy.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? First non-stress test tomorrow (bc of high blood pressure)

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Not at the moment.

Anything else you'd like to share? I passed my three hour glucose test. Yay! I was within two points of failing on two of the values, but the Dr didn't seem concerned. Now I'm finding terrible urges to stuff my face with sweets but I really don't want to gain more weight.

QoTW: Do you ever talk to yourself? When and what do you say? Um, all the time. Sometimes it's more like a running dialogue.

[elliecat17]

How far along are you?
31+6, baby is the size of a foam finger (but measuring 2 weeks ahead).

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Physically I am pretty good, exhausted all the time, but I think that is to be expected.
Emotionally I am great. Baby moves lots, and the movements are very big. On Saturday I got kicked so hard it hurt, but that was a relief, because it just means that baby is healthy. I am getting very excited about meeting baby too, although labor is making me nervous.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
None until next week Thursday.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Nope!

Anything else you'd like to share?
Hopefully I can get the electrician here sometime this week to put in the new heater in the nursery, and then we can put the floors in and DECORATE!!!!!!
Also food is no longer my friend again. Everything I eat makes me feel ill. Anyone else suffering this?

QoTW: Do you ever talk to yourself? When and what do you say?
I never stop. LOL I feel like I am always talking through things, partly to help me remember what I was doing, and partly because the house is too quiet otherwise. I also talk to the cats and baby a lot too, so perhaps it makes me look less crazy?

[addymac]

thinkchocolate05 muscari I feel ya, ladies. I had a full on sob sesh about a week or so ago bc of loss baby and the guilt I feel being excited, bc my two pregnancies would have also overlapped a bit. And constantly thinking about how life would be with loss baby, who'd be 4 months old now. And how I'd be finishing up my maternity leave. And just all those thoughts. Then Baby Boy kicks me, and I feel guilty and sad. 😔

muscari - I hope your appts go well this week!! And you guys have a good plan for labor re: your heart and you can downgrade your ankle cast and start moving around again!

thinkchocolate05 - I usually have a sweet tooth but it is out of control this pregnancy. I am trying so hard to control it lately Bc I'm already up +30 lbs but ugh. I just want ALL. THE. SWEETS.

elliecat17 hope you can get the electrician in soon! I'm sorry food makes you ill. Lately I just can't eat much or the heartburn makes me feel awful.

[addymac]

How far along are you? 32+3

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Swelling in legs/feet ✅ heartburn ✅ hip pain ✅ exhausted ✅ back pain ✅ urge to pee all the time and then go and have two drops come out ✅ -- 😑 Just overall uncomfortable and can't believe I have two more months! I worry about work being too much and having to use up my sick time before he comes bc I don't feel well to keep working and since my leave is 100% paid from my sick and vacation time, I don't wanna use any of it up before he comes. I'm worried about pushing myself too much to save time, but at the same time want to be like "suck it up, addymac! Better to have the time with the baby!" We will see what happens...

Emotionally- excited but so nervous. I try to ignore the nerves and push the bad thoughts away but they're on a constant loop in the back of my mind. I'm so scared something is going to happen to him and he's going to die before or during birth or end up so sick and disabled. My job is not helping and no one IRL understands so I just stay quiet and spiral in my head.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Not til July 3

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? I'm okay.

Anything else you'd like to share? Meh just tired and not looking forward to my sisters visit for the next week+. I ranted about it on the general checkin, so I'll save you all the time and not repost the same rant over here. It's just rough bc I honestly believe we wouldn't be friends if we weren't related and I still have a lot of anger towards her about how she and my parents supported (/didn't) during our loss, which is pointless to talk to her about bc she's already said that it was my fault I didn't feel supportive. 🙄😒

QoTW: Do you ever talk to yourself? When and what do you say? Lol. I do a lot but a lot is in my head. I prep convos in my head, and I talk to the baby a lot. I also talk to the babies at work all the time, so I'm used to just talking to things that don't respond 😂 Sometimes I'm in public and I realize I'm moving my lips and I'm like 🙊 Lol. Oops.

[elliecat17]

Well I had a most interesting day! I was doing dishes in the kitchen and was suddenly standing in a puddle of clear liquid. So baby I had to go and get checked up on. They did a nitraxine test and then amnisure. We also laid there on the FHM for an hour. It wasn't amniotic fluid as far as they could tell, but the heart strip showed a very active baby with good accelerations and several contractions on my part. It's funny to say as a grown woman, but thank God I had an accident and it wasn't PPROM.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

[jt2378]

Jun 27, 2017 19:20:18 GMT -6 elliecat17 said:

Well I had a most interesting day! I was doing dishes in the kitchen and was suddenly standing in a puddle of clear liquid. So baby I had to go and get checked up on. They did a nitraxine test and then amnisure. We also laid there on the FHM for an hour. It wasn't amniotic fluid as far as they could tell, but the heart strip showed a very active baby with good accelerations and several contractions on my part. It's funny to say as a grown woman, but thank God I had an accident and it wasn't PPROM.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

Oh my, how scary! Glad it was just a pee accident though! 😂

Pregnancy is just so glamorous sometimes

[muscari]

Oh wow elliecat17, how scary indeed. Soooooo glad it was just a pee accident and not PPROM. Baby needs to cook a little longer! Glad baby was doing great, and I hope your contractions will taper off. I had a similar scare a week or two ago in the middle of night. I concluded I must have peed my pants while asleep, and it wasn't much so I just changed and all and went back to sleep.. but it did have me wonder and freak out a little bit for a while. Pregnancy is indeed sooo glamourous at times hah!

[muscari]

addymac, all of your check markers made me smile (though of course it sucks to have all those symptoms! I feel you girl!) And I'm so sorry that your sister is basically house crashing without your consent and that you have to put up with all this. URGH!! So rude and selfish.

[muscari]

Jun 27, 2017 10:08:25 GMT -6 elliecat17 said:

Anything else you'd like to share?
Hopefully I can get the electrician here sometime this week to put in the new heater in the nursery, and then we can put the floors in and DECORATE!!!!!!
Also food is no longer my friend again. Everything I eat makes me feel ill. Anyone else suffering this?

FX the electricion is able to come by soonest and you can start decorating the nursery. Exciting!

Also, yup, I am really struggling with anything food and drink related as well. No matter how careful I plan both what, when and how much I eat, I just can't get it right. So I'm dealing with pretty constant endless awful reflux, hearthburn and indigestion and nausea. It also messes with how much I drink, as even water contributes, and I know for a fact I'm not drinking enough but just can't help it. I hate it. Definitely gonne bring it up at my next appointment on Monday. I know tis normal to not be able to eat normal portions but the heartburn and reflux just is insane and I hope that maybe some omeprazole will help with that.

[elliecat17]

muscari I really hope that you can get some advice on the food front. It's hard when they are telling you "drink like a fish" and you are thinking about the horrible heartburn that accompanies water.

[addymac]

elliecat17 omg! Thank goodness it was just pee!! (Who ever thought we'd say THAT?! 😂) but ugh, I'm sure that was so scary until you knew for sure.

[addymac]

muscari ugh thanks. I'm trying hard to just release the irritation and anger I have at her and just let it go... I know the weekend will be nice but I wish she were leaving on Monday.... a whole week earlier than she is... oh well. I just don't need to worry Bc I'm freaking pregnant and she can deal with my tiredness and issues bc too bad, so sad.

[thinkchocolate05]

addymac So sorry about the frustrating situation with your sister! She should really respect your need to rest. Hopefully, she's more supportive once she arrives.

elliecat17 OMG! So glad everything was okay. That sounds extremely frightening.

[muscari]

Jun 28, 2017 6:11:05 GMT -6 elliecat17 said:

muscari I really hope that you can get some advice on the food front. It's hard when they are telling you "drink like a fish" and you are thinking about the horrible heartburn that accompanies water.

You know what worries me a little in regards to not being able to drink as much as I should? That it will influence the amount of amniotic fluid somehow.. So I'm definitely going to bring that up at our appointment monday and am going to ask for them to measure it when we are in for the scan that same morning as well. The scan is before our OB appointment so I hope they 'll take me seriously or will consult with the OB if they don't think tis necessary heh.. but I think we'll have the same tech as we've had for our A/S and follow up A/S in which case I don't think I have to worry about her being uncooperative.

And if I do get good advice I'll make sure to share it with you!

[elliecat17]

Jun 28, 2017 15:19:45 GMT -6 muscari said:

Jun 28, 2017 6:11:05 GMT -6 elliecat17 said:

muscari I really hope that you can get some advice on the food front. It's hard when they are telling you "drink like a fish" and you are thinking about the horrible heartburn that accompanies water.

You know what worries me a little in regards to not being able to drink as much as I should? That it will influence the amount of amniotic fluid somehow.. So I'm definitely going to bring that up at our appointment monday and am going to ask for them to measure it when we are in for the scan that same morning as well. The scan is before our OB appointment so I hope they 'll take me seriously or will consult with the OB if they don't think tis necessary heh.. but I think we'll have the same tech as we've had for our A/S and follow up A/S in which case I don't think I have to worry about her being uncooperative.

And if I do get good advice I'll make sure to share it with you!

Oh thank you! And I had never thought about the amount of amniotic fluid in terms of amount of water drank. I really hope your tech takes your seriously, and I'm sure for thoroughness sake that they will measure the amount of fluid in there anyways, because that is something they normally watch towards the end.

[elliecat17]

thinkchocolate05 how did the NST go? Isn't it fun to listen to baby's heart for that long?! Also were you able to hear baby kicking? Mine went crazy for the hour I sat there, and I could actually hear the kicks because it was kicking the toco.

addymac You are much braver then I am. I struggled working OB I can't imagine how much harder it must be to work NICU or anything where you have to deal with the worst case scenarios. ((HUGS)) I think hospitals should make it a policy where pregnant women can ask to be elsewhere perhaps where there is less fear and reminders of absolutely everything that could go wrong.

jt2378 It really is a most glamorous time! And now my husband won't let me live down our "dry run that wasn't so dry".

[muscari]

elliecat17, I have to admit that the "dry run that wasn't so dry" did make me giggle! Re the NST, I really enjoyed hearing the movement of baby on the NST. Like she was scratching the needle over an LP player heh.

[elliecat17]

muscari it makes me laugh too, which is probably the only reason I haven't killed him yet for making jokes about it. Scratching a needle over an LP is a really good way to describe it! I hadn't realized just how much of baby's movement's I couldn't feel!

[muscari]

Also, I'm freaking out here at the moment .. if you have a moment could you please go to placetomeet.proboards.com/thread/2686/talk-me#ixzz4lOKYdIcu and talk me down??