Anxiety?

[peggyhill]

I feel bad posting something like this, but you all are in a similar boat and a lot of you also are second, third, etc time mothers.
Ever since I’ve gotten my BFP, I’ve been waffling between excited and incredibly anxious. The unknown is really hard for me, not knowing how pregnancy will effect me and whether this will end up with a healthy baby, and it’s lent itself to a feeling of unreality. I’ve felt it before, and it’s very hard to pull out of, especially knowing that I have at least 9 months of unknown ahead of me.
I’ve wanted this pregnancy for almost 9 years, and now that it’s here I’m drowning in anxiety and I don’t know why. Hormones, or me blowing hints out of proportion? I’m not sure, but it feels like life has suddenly spun out of control.

Do any of you ladies have any experiences with this? Any anecdotes? Any advice would be greatly greatly appreciated!

[cmb]

Anxiety is pregnancy is one of those things that has multifactors, unfortunately. Are you a naturally anxious person? Have you dealt with it in the past? It’s also hormonal linked and dealing with the unknown linked.

I’m a naturally anxious. I don’t do well with change (or really at all), so pregnancy really ramps it up. I also don’t handle the unknown well.

I will tell you this- when I got my positive with DS2, my first feelings weren’t of excitement. It was pure anxiety of what was to come, what did we do, what were we thinking. I had that “oh shit!” feeling for pretty much the entire pregnancy.

I can’t talk about my pregnancy with DS1 because I had prenatal depression and don’t really remember feeling anxious except for the beginning.

I think the key to the anxiety is what you do with it and what it does to you. Are you all consumed by it or is it just that nagging feeling? Things like that

Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense. I haven’t had my measly 200mg of caffeine yet 🙈

[zimmerframe]

I contstantky worried through all of my pregnancies. My first two pregnancies ended in mmc. So I panicked every day on my three kids. The best thing I did was, if I felt anxious I imagined bringing a healthy baby home from the hospital. I fantasised about every last detail, of clothing, blankets the car seat. So by forcing myself to think positively it helped me push any negative thoughts away.

[peggyhill]

cmb I’m a very anxious person. I actually dealt with a huge mental breakdown about 1&1/2 years ago, and I let like I was FINALLY getting back to 99.9% normal, no longer having existential dread and I was happy for the majority of every day. This pregnancy has taken me 12 steps back, and has me worried that the things I did to pull out of my old depression/anxiety aren’t going to work a second time. Unfortunately it’s very easy for me to be all consumed. It’s not something I intentionally do, but my thoughts get “sticky”, and it’s hard to fight the, or deflect them sometimes.
I think you’re right about it being change, I feel that’s probably a huge part of this. I’m also working 2 jobs, so I have no down time. This was not something I expected to have happen so fast. I’m fortunate to have a wonderful psychologist, so at least there is that.

zimmerframe, I’m going to try and put a positive spin on my anxiety, thank you

[cmb]

peggyhill I get it. Hugs.

I want to add that don’t be afraid to reach out to your psychologist and OB. If you feel need medication type help, there’s meds that are okayed in pregnancy. Tell them how you are feeling. They’re here for all aspects of pregnancy care, not just checking on baby.

I suffered in silence when there was no need for it, but I never asked for help or was told it wasn’t normal until after I delivered

[peggyhill]

Jan 24, 2019 9:05:40 GMT -6 cmb said:

peggyhill I get it. Hugs.

I want to add that don’t be afraid to reach out to your psychologist and OB. If you feel need medication type help, there’s meds that are okayed in pregnancy. Tell them how you are feeling. They’re here for all aspects of pregnancy care, not just checking on baby.

I suffered in silence when there was no need for it, but I never asked for help or was told it wasn’t normal until after I delivered

Thank you so much. The previous time I had this happen, medications were difficult because I’m a lightweight and have a tendency to get bad side effects. It’s a comfort to know it’s always an option I can try, though. My psychologist is older and REALLY trimmed down his practice recently due to a medical condition, but I’m fortunate enough that hehas time to see me weekly. I’ve found the key to my anxiety is distraction, so I’ll just have to find new activities to get me through the worst of it.
thank you for your advice, you are incredibly helpful too. Knowing I’m not alone in this is huge. 🙂

[randomosity]

Totally. I have an anxiety disorder and have dealt with PPD so coupled with my loss last month, I'm chanting "Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby" over and over in my head, which a pgal friend passed on to me. It's a very comforting thing to remember. Hang in there, first tri can be a rough ride.

[peggyhill]

Jan 24, 2019 14:44:29 GMT -6 randomosity said:

Totally. I have an anxiety disorder and have dealt with PPD so coupled with my loss last month, I'm chanting "Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby" over and over in my head, which a pgal friend passed on to me. It's a very comforting thing to remember. Hang in there, first tri can be a rough ride.

Thank you! It gets better though, right? Hormones equalize, your body always striving for equilibrium?

[randomosity]

Jan 24, 2019 23:16:05 GMT -6 peggyhill said:

Jan 24, 2019 14:44:29 GMT -6 randomosity said:

Totally. I have an anxiety disorder and have dealt with PPD so coupled with my loss last month, I'm chanting "Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby" over and over in my head, which a pgal friend passed on to me. It's a very comforting thing to remember. Hang in there, first tri can be a rough ride.

Thank you! It gets better though, right? Hormones equalize, your body always striving for equilibrium?

In my experience, yes! The hormone levels rising so fast coupled with the mindf*ck that is first tri will draw the anxiety out of the best of us.

[marshian]

I have anxiety in normal non-PG life. Also OCD (intrusive thoughts about death, so fun). I actually got a break from my anxiety when I got pregnant with my first. The first few weeks were the worst because I know the stats. After we had our first midwife appointment I felt better. Then after our NT scan came back all good I felt even better. Then it was smooth sailing. I still had moments of small anxiety but nothing like what I've experienced in the past. Since you have experience with anxiety, I'm assuming you have some go-to methods for calming. Definitely use those. I like the mantra mentioned above as well.

And I agree with PP: Don't be afraid to mention how you're feeling with your provider(s). That's the hardest part.

[peggyhill]

Jan 25, 2019 14:09:29 GMT -6 marshian said:

I have anxiety in normal non-PG life. Also OCD (intrusive thoughts about death, so fun). I actually got a break from my anxiety when I got pregnant with my first. The first few weeks were the worst because I know the stats. After we had our first midwife appointment I felt better. Then after our NT scan came back all good I felt even better. Then it was smooth sailing. I still had moments of small anxiety but nothing like what I've experienced in the past. Since you have experience with anxiety, I'm assuming you have some go-to methods for calming. Definitely use those. I like the mantra mentioned above as well.

And I agree with PP: Don't be afraid to mention how you're feeling with your provider(s). That's the hardest part.

I hope that I can get a break lol, it’s getting tiresome waking up an hour earlier than normal with my heart racing! I get the intrusive thoughts as well, did those leave you alone as you progressed?

[cmb]

Jan 24, 2019 23:16:05 GMT -6 peggyhill said:

Jan 24, 2019 14:44:29 GMT -6 randomosity said:

Totally. I have an anxiety disorder and have dealt with PPD so coupled with my loss last month, I'm chanting "Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby" over and over in my head, which a pgal friend passed on to me. It's a very comforting thing to remember. Hang in there, first tri can be a rough ride.

Thank you! It gets better though, right? Hormones equalize, your body always striving for equilibrium?

Not to scare you, but not always. My anxiety never relented until birth; I just learned to manage it

[peggyhill]

Jan 26, 2019 13:42:49 GMT -6 cmb said:

Jan 24, 2019 23:16:05 GMT -6 peggyhill said:

Thank you! It gets better though, right? Hormones equalize, your body always striving for equilibrium?

Not to scare you, but not always. My anxiety never relented until birth; I just learned to manage it

I appreciate the input, I’m trying to go into this eyes wide open. How did you handle post birth? Was it scary having your first and having your world change?

[cmb]

Jan 26, 2019 16:27:37 GMT -6 peggyhill said:

Jan 26, 2019 13:42:49 GMT -6 cmb said:

Not to scare you, but not always. My anxiety never relented until birth; I just learned to manage it

I appreciate the input, I’m trying to go into this eyes wide open. How did you handle post birth? Was it scary having your first and having your world change?

I’ll preface this with the fact that my experience is not your typical one, no where near normal or typical.

I had a rough pregnancy that was topped off with complications post delivery, so I was forced to rely on others. It actually helped with the anxiety because I physically couldn’t do everything. By the time I delivered, I was in the “get it the f out” stage, so that overtook the anxiety of the unknown that is L&D.

[marshian]

Jan 26, 2019 10:56:02 GMT -6 peggyhill said:

Jan 25, 2019 14:09:29 GMT -6 marshian said:

I have anxiety in normal non-PG life. Also OCD (intrusive thoughts about death, so fun). I actually got a break from my anxiety when I got pregnant with my first. The first few weeks were the worst because I know the stats. After we had our first midwife appointment I felt better. Then after our NT scan came back all good I felt even better. Then it was smooth sailing. I still had moments of small anxiety but nothing like what I've experienced in the past. Since you have experience with anxiety, I'm assuming you have some go-to methods for calming. Definitely use those. I like the mantra mentioned above as well.

And I agree with PP: Don't be afraid to mention how you're feeling with your provider(s). That's the hardest part.

I hope that I can get a break lol, it’s getting tiresome waking up an hour earlier than normal with my heart racing! I get the intrusive thoughts as well, did those leave you alone as you progressed?

Yes, the thoughts were better. I didn't have any spirals with them like I did pre-pregnancy. Hopefully you get a break!