Too Monday!

[Cheshie6]

[starbuck]

H and I are off today but we sent the kids to school. We're going to head back to the house and drive around the neighborhood some more, get lunch, etc. We're familiar with where it is (it's only about 20 min from where we are now) but haven't spent much time over there. And it's 10 min from my sister! I am so damn excited to see her and my nephew more. My BIL is in HVAC so when he works late she can come over for dinner and whatever. These are the fantasies in my head lol.

H offered to schedule the inspection so he's trying to be more helpful this time. Hopefully this inspection goes well and we can relax.

[Cheshie6]

It's Monday! It's a holiday so no speech this morning. My kid who usually wakes up at 8-8:30 decides on the day I can sleep in to wake up at 6am!!!! It's bitterly cold out. according to my weather app, it's -5* how will I entertain him for the rest of the day!?! I'm currently hiding in the dining room with my tea as he plays with Thomas the train.

[goldenlove]

Morning! I'm off today but H is working. Me and C are just hanging out at home for the day. I was thinking about taking him to the library for their MLK events today but it's so cold that I don't want to leave.

Also I just noticed Moana isn't on Netflix anymore.. after I convinced C to watch that instead of Super Wings. Ugh.

[waitwhat]

It’s absolutely frigid here. Feels like -20 according to my weather app. B has off from school today so we are just hanging around the house. I’ve got laundry going, cleaned the bathrooms, and am doing some meal planning for the week. My friend was supposed to come over and hang out but she just cancelled. The roads are slick, it’s a tundra outside, and she’s 13 weeks pregnant and isn’t feeling good. I’m fine with this because J had me up at 5:30. A nap is happening in the very near future.

[jubilantsquirrel]

I'm at work. Boo.

MH is off today so he's home with the boys. I'm a little jealous.

[danib]

So excited for you starbuck!

It's oddly warm here today. Should put a big dent in the snow. I just gotta keep an eye on how everything is melting so I don't end up with solid ice chunks in my driveway when the temp inevitably drops again tonight.
DH doesn't expect his flight to get in tomorrow due to expected fog and high winds. We'll see, but I'm thinking he's right. So fingers crossed for Wednesday.

[waitwhat]

Now my friend wants to come over. She just texted and was like “leaving in 5”. Ugh, no. I wasn’t planning on you so now I need to do a few things like clean up all these dishes and shower. So much for that nap. I was so looking forward to it.

[elle]

My only thoughts this morning are - ugh, Monday.

[elle]

Jan 21, 2019 10:52:00 GMT -6 waitwhat said:

Now my friend wants to come over. She just texted and was like “leaving in 5”. Ugh, no. I wasn’t planning on you so now I need to do a few things like clean up all these dishes and shower. So much for that nap. I was so looking forward to it.

Sorry for the last minute change of plans interfering with your much needed nap. But hopefully you'll have enough fun with your friend that you'll end up not missing it. 

[sophiegrace]

So excited for you starbuck!!!! This one sounds like it could be perfect!

[sophiegrace]

My SMIL just cancelled last minute for our trip to Florida in two weeks. This is after I double and triple checked that they really wanted to go because the airport they wanted to fly out of only had non refundable tickets available for our travel days. Travel insurance isn’t taking “I don’t think I feel like walking around that much” as an acceptable reason to give me any money back either.

I’m annoyyyyyyyed.

[danib]

Oh my gosh sophiegrace! I would be livid.

[waitwhat]

Jan 21, 2019 11:54:56 GMT -6 sophiegrace said:

My SMIL just cancelled last minute for our trip to Florida in two weeks. This is after I double and triple checked that they really wanted to go because the airport they wanted to fly out of only had non refundable tickets available for our travel days. Travel insurance isn’t taking “I don’t think I feel like walking around that much” as an acceptable reason to give me any money back either.

I’m annoyyyyyyyed.

Well that’s annoying. I’m sorry.

[starbuck]

sophiegrace I'd be sending her a bill lol

[jubilantsquirrel]

Jan 21, 2019 11:54:56 GMT -6 sophiegrace said:

My SMIL just cancelled last minute for our trip to Florida in two weeks. This is after I double and triple checked that they really wanted to go because the airport they wanted to fly out of only had non refundable tickets available for our travel days. Travel insurance isn’t taking “I don’t think I feel like walking around that much” as an acceptable reason to give me any money back either.

I’m annoyyyyyyyed.

OMG, I would be so angry. 

[tgrimes]

Jan 21, 2019 9:17:50 GMT -6 jubilantsquirrel said:

I'm at work. Boo.

MH is off today so he's home with the boys. I'm a little jealous.

MH is at work and I’m home with kids because daycare is closed.

I’d rather be at work. lol.

Maybe that should be a FFMC...

[sophiegrace]

Jan 21, 2019 12:11:21 GMT -6 starbuck said:

sophiegrace I'd be sending her a bill lol

H won’t let me, hah. I feel really bad. This was going to be the first vacation ever that he went on with his dad. My MFing SMIL. Never has an issue with walking when it’s vacation or visiting with her own daughter...

[elle]

Jan 21, 2019 12:27:05 GMT -6 sophiegrace said:

Jan 21, 2019 12:11:21 GMT -6 starbuck said:

sophiegrace I'd be sending her a bill lol

H won’t let me, hah. I feel really bad. This was going to be the first vacation ever that he went on with his dad. My MFing SMIL. Never has an issue with walking when it’s vacation or visiting with her own daughter...

Is this a trip to Disney World? Rent one of those electric scooters. I'd be furious sophiegrace, I'm sorry.

[sophiegrace]

Jan 21, 2019 12:36:10 GMT -6 elle said:

Jan 21, 2019 12:27:05 GMT -6 sophiegrace said:

H won’t let me, hah. I feel really bad. This was going to be the first vacation ever that he went on with his dad. My MFing SMIL. Never has an issue with walking when it’s vacation or visiting with her own daughter...

Is this a trip to Disney World? Rent one of those electric scooters. I'd be furious sophiegrace, I'm sorry.

Universal, and I thought about that because I do imagine that walking can be a bit much when you aren’t used to it.

“It just wouldn’t be the same”

Oh. She just doesn’t want to go.

[elle]

Jan 21, 2019 12:41:56 GMT -6 sophiegrace said:

Jan 21, 2019 12:36:10 GMT -6 elle said:

Is this a trip to Disney World? Rent one of those electric scooters. I'd be furious sophiegrace, I'm sorry.

Universal, and I thought about that because I do imagine that walking can be a bit much when you aren’t used to it.

“It just wouldn’t be the same”

Oh. She just doesn’t want to go.

Bitch. (calling her that for you so you don't have to)

[goldenlove]

I'm sorry sophiegrace. That's really frustrating.

[sophiegrace]

Jan 21, 2019 12:49:07 GMT -6 elle said:

Jan 21, 2019 12:41:56 GMT -6 sophiegrace said:

Universal, and I thought about that because I do imagine that walking can be a bit much when you aren’t used to it.

“It just wouldn’t be the same”

Oh. She just doesn’t want to go.

Bitch. (calling her that for you so you don't have to)

H and I have a nice healthy balance of crappy relatives, haha

Silver lining, it’ll probably be an easier trip without them there. I’m upset by the waste of money. Maybe the airline can give me vouchers or something.

[starbuck]

sophiegrace can FIL just go without her?

[Cheshie6]

DH just dropped on me that MIL is asking for a visit, a weekend for them to come down. She's already come up with excuses as to why FIL may or may not attend, though "he would like to make the trip!" She also mentioned weather would limit them which is understandable. DH's at sea so why isn't she discussing this with me is just a mild irritation considering just like her, I'm the keeper of the schedule. Dh is surprised that this stresses me out. FIL supposedly couldn't come down before because of his degenerative disc disease issue in his neck and being in the car that long  (4 hours) causes pain and headaches. But the man could go to the race track and drive the pace car all day!?! So if he does make the trip, he's a jerk who can't get comfortable because headaches, it's not his bed,  it's not his house, etc. MIL is promising Christmas presents and my birthday gift because though she made a stink about asking for lists for L for his birthday and Christmas, he has yet to receive anything! My mom has M* F&^(&ing bone cancer and a fixed income and can get his Christmas gifts to us without issue! Anyone want to place bets if she actually shopped off the list I sent her per her request or if she only used that list for "ideas?" This is the lady that commented and nitpicked my baby registry and bought nothing off it. 

DH offered that he and L could just go up, giving me the weekend off. But SIL2 and her family have moved back in with them (their home seems to be a revolving door for their daughters) and after nephew's 1st birthday party fiasco, I'm not about to send my kid up to see blatant favoritism this young. I feel like because DH and I are too independent our kid loses out. We haven't had to move back in, we haven't had to ask for financial help, and due to FIL's condition, we can't even ask them to come down for us to have a date night or weekend because he can't do the drive and when he does he's useless. (I'm not even including the issues with L's allergies) Basically, we're forgotten for living more than an hour away, not on the way to work, and not texting her every 5-10 minutes! L loses out in the process and it's very hard for me to justify this when my mom who is a participating grandparent (with my niece and nephew, she likes to find new parks, explore libraries and bookstores, teaches them $$ at the dollar store, etc.) is the one with cancer and probably won't even see him by 5. They just piss me off even more because they are doing EXACTLY what they complained about FIL's parents doing to them. (Never visiting them, not calling, not checking in, etc.)

I gave DH 2 weekends they could come down but to remind them, we aren't changing L's schedule for this visit. If they try to make it on a Friday night, we still have Gymnastics on Saturday mornings and church on Sunday mornings. I doubt FIL would go to church period (he's never gone with his own kids unless it was a special occasion), and I'd be shocked if MIL attends anything other than a Catholic Mass. But now I have to get my house "guest" ready... grrr  I wish I could use, we can't afford you to visit at this time!

/endrant

[sophiegrace]

Jan 21, 2019 16:35:59 GMT -6 starbuck said:

sophiegrace can FIL just go without her?

I don’t know if I ever talked about H’s dad before. He was diagnosed with glioblastoma when H was in high school. Had something crazy like a 3% chance of living for a year with aggressive treatment. They took that chance (H demanded it), and here he is still NED how many years later. Unfortunately, the second brain surgery he had to remove the tumor left him almost completely expressively aphasic. Everything is still functioning just fine in his brain, he just can’t get anything out. So, he could come with us, but it would be extremely difficult for H. When SMIL is around we can at least include everyone in conversation in some way shape or form, but when she’s not H struggles. It’s his dad, but it’s not. Yanno?

To lighten to mood between the two of us sometimes we like to joke that his dad really can talk, but had to get creative when dealing with having to be married to H’s step mom and has been doing a massively long con on everyone.

[starbuck]

Jan 21, 2019 16:59:07 GMT -6 sophiegrace said:

Jan 21, 2019 16:35:59 GMT -6 starbuck said:

sophiegrace can FIL just go without her?

I don’t know if I ever talked about H’s dad before. He was diagnosed with glioblastoma when H was in high school. Had something crazy like a 3% chance of living for a year with aggressive treatment. They took that chance (H demanded it), and here he is still NED how many years later. Unfortunately, the second brain surgery he had to remove the tumor left him almost completely expressively aphasic. Everything is still functioning just fine in his brain, he just can’t get anything out. So, he could come with us, but it would be extremely difficult for H. When SMIL is around we can at least include everyone in conversation in some way shape or form, but when she’s not H struggles. It’s his dad, but it’s not. Yanno?

To lighten to mood between the two of us sometimes we like to joke that his dad really can talk, but had to get creative when dealing with having to be married to H’s step mom and has been doing a massively long con on everyone.

Aww that is hard. I wish they would just go with you and hang at the pool during the day. Enjoy breakfast and dinner with you. Something at least.

[danib]

Ohh Cheshie6 that's rough. I can relate on the going through DH part. MIL does it as well and it drives me absolutely bonkers. Like when our new babysitter quit and I needed to find someone for this weekend, I ended up asking my cousin adrer a few days of trying to figure out my options. Next day DH messages me from offshore "hey did you already ask *cousin* to babysit? Mom said she could take them." Well maybe she should have talked to me, I'm the one that's here, I'm the one that is making the plans. Grrrr

As for the rest of it... Brutal. Just brutal.
I will say the one thing that helped me deal with my family issues is to stop expecting them to change. My therapist told me that by removing the expectation I'll stop being disappointed. Things will still be shitty, but removing that *sting* makes it easier to just brush away and not take up my mental/emotional energy.

[sophiegrace]

Jan 21, 2019 17:51:29 GMT -6 starbuck said:

Jan 21, 2019 16:59:07 GMT -6 sophiegrace said:

I don’t know if I ever talked about H’s dad before. He was diagnosed with glioblastoma when H was in high school. Had something crazy like a 3% chance of living for a year with aggressive treatment. They took that chance (H demanded it), and here he is still NED how many years later. Unfortunately, the second brain surgery he had to remove the tumor left him almost completely expressively aphasic. Everything is still functioning just fine in his brain, he just can’t get anything out. So, he could come with us, but it would be extremely difficult for H. When SMIL is around we can at least include everyone in conversation in some way shape or form, but when she’s not H struggles. It’s his dad, but it’s not. Yanno?

To lighten to mood between the two of us sometimes we like to joke that his dad really can talk, but had to get creative when dealing with having to be married to H’s step mom and has been doing a massively long con on everyone.

Aww that is hard. I wish they would just go with you and hang at the pool during the day. Enjoy breakfast and dinner with you. Something at least.

I mean, that sounds like a great plan to me. Florida in February is heaven when you live in the northeast, but what do I know.

I’m glad I vented because the more I think about it the better I feel. I don’t think it would have been the jolly family bonding I was hoping for. Not sure what I was thinking. Should probably start on my phase one of the plan to get @tgrime ‘s in-laws to adopt me.

[sophiegrace]

Cheshie6 I’m sorry. I have no advice on how to fix things since hello! I’m obviously enveloped by family dysfunction. Actually, I might be president of the club. 😂

All I can say is my own experience of accepting things as they are and making the best of everything. One of my biggest issues is getting so heated up about the past and annoyed with how things are handled that I tend to find a way to ruin a visit before it even happens. You gave the weekends you are available so now just go with the flow. Maybe they’ll want to come with you to gymnastics, that would be so much fun for them to watch L do his thing! And church doesn’t need to be rearranged, but planning a brunch and activity afterwards would be a nice way to have everyone get their way and still spend time together. We can’t change family, so it really is not worth the negative energy to get fired up about it.