It's FRIDAY

[Sunny41]

I think I've mentioned my friend that has around 25 pairs of Rothy shoes ($125+ per shoe). Well she is on the declutter kick. I can't reconcile having 30+ pairs of shoes and not including that in the declutter process. I'm judging her posts pretty hard. Also she mentioned she removed herself from a bunch of Facebook groups on the same day she created a new one and sent me an invite.

[cagoldi]

Thanks for the encouragement, girls. I know it’s going to be a wild ride, but it’s of interest to me and not just about getting a degree/job at the end of it and I’m really excited about some of the material and classes.

vino what program will you do when you start back?

[inthekitty]

I've been thinking about you lfig. I hope you guys get answers soon. FX the MRI goes as smoothly as possible.

wedding I'm really glad your family and Maxi Cat found each other. Much love during such a difficult time.

[flamingo]

I hope the MRI is going smoothly, lfig, and hopefully you're getting a nap as I type!

[inthekitty]

I think we all have someone like that in our families tgrimes. It really sucks to watch. My sister takes advantage of my mom like nobody's business. My mom is aware and vents to me and tries to be firm with her but long story short my sister likely has a personality disorder and is never going to change because it's everyone else and not her. There's a whole saga behind this but my sister is trying to get partial custody of her daughter's toddler. It's a mess. But I know that if she gets the kid she'll try to pawn off the daycare on my mom when she charged her own daughter for babysitting in the past.

My husband has one sibling and my BIL is a total trash bag human being. His parents don't like him (and moved out of the state to get away from him), but that doesn't stop them from giving him thousands of dollars every couple of months. It's totally ridiculous. Their obvious favoring of the firstborn is undeniable. They've always done way more for him than my husband. Unfortunately my husband has inherited his parents ability to not set boundaries with his family and I fear that it will cause a huge wedge in our marriage when his parents eventually die and since BIL is a loser his plan will then be to mooch off of us. I would never agree to giving him a cent.

[guster]

Jan 4, 2019 10:56:00 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

Jan 4, 2019 10:54:16 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

Is BEC Bitch eating crackers?

Yes.  Right?  Did I do it wrong?

I read it as bacon egg and cheese first and then have to correct myself. This brain is always on food.

[guster]

It’s really nice of you to offer, tgrimes and definitely frustrating the way she’s acting. I’m sorry.

[guster]

Jan 4, 2019 11:47:00 GMT -6 vino said:

Jan 4, 2019 11:38:22 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Will y’all stay in Canada (I can delete if you want) or is there a chance you’d be sent overseas, etc?

Yes, the postings would be in Canada, some near and some far, as in New Brunswick (North-East of Maine).  It's more about the unit he gets posted to, what are the plans for it in in September, some are going on tour back to Latvia, some Iraq.  There is a posting in Germany and Latvia, but he'd have to apply specifically for it and it'd be only for 3 years so those are out.

vino, would you move overseas if yh is posted there for an extended period of time.

[guster]

Jan 4, 2019 12:20:15 GMT -6 Sunny41 said:

I think I've mentioned my friend that has around 25 pairs of Rothy shoes ($125+ per shoe). Well she is on the declutter kick. I can't reconcile having 30+ pairs of shoes and not including that in the declutter process. I'm judging her posts pretty hard. Also she mentioned she removed herself from a bunch of Facebook groups on the same day she created a new one and sent me an invite.

For me it’s not so much about the amount of stuff. I called myself a minimalist the other day but that was the wrong word. It’s about everything having a specific place and that home not being overcrowded. I have way too many pairs of shoes. But they each fit in a cubby and the cubbies are in the bottom of my closets not taking up space for anything.
I followed the happier podcast, and one of her happiness boosters is to keep an empty shelf. So I try to maintain that idea. I have one cabinet in the kitchen that doesn’t have anything in it, one drawer in our bedroom, and one canvas box in the kids playroom.

[guster]

Hope the MRI is quick and smooth, lfig!
That’s awesome, cagoldi. Will that allow for promotion within your company or will you move to another field?

[jewels]

Wow, took a long time for me to get caught up today.

wedding, I'm so sorry. Take the time you need with him, and I hope C is able to deal.

lfig, I hope the MRI is going smoothly.

tgrimes and @everyone else, my brother isn't quite as bad but is definitely bad with money and my parents have bailed him out multiple times. I felt terribly guilty about borrowing money from them for my first townhouse till I learned that my parents had bought them cars and bailed them out of foreclosure multiple times. And both he and his wife have good jobs so it's not from lack of income.

[cagoldi]

Jan 4, 2019 13:07:56 GMT -6 guster said:

Hope the MRI is quick and smooth, lfig!
That’s awesome, cagoldi. Will that allow for promotion within your company or will you move to another field?

I would likely move to another field. We do have some health promotion positions but they are pretty few and far between. Also, my preference would be to work for a provider organization, public agency, or non-profit.

I also don’t love working in an industry that I feel is inherently unethical.

[guster]

Jan 4, 2019 13:11:50 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

Jan 4, 2019 13:07:56 GMT -6 guster said:

Hope the MRI is quick and smooth, lfig!
That’s awesome, cagoldi. Will that allow for promotion within your company or will you move to another field?

I would likely move to another field. We do have some health promotion positions but they are pretty few and far between. Also, my preference would be to work for a provider organization, public agency, or non-profit.

I don’t love working in an industry that I feel is inherently unethical.

I’m glad there are options and ones that will fit your stance more organically.

[vino]

Jan 4, 2019 12:23:55 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

Thanks for the encouragement, girls. I know it’s going to be a wild ride, but it’s of interest to me and not just about getting a degree/job at the end of it and I’m really excited about some of the material and classes.

vino what program will you do when you start back?

I would finish my Bachelor of Commerce, I'm pretty sure most of my diploma courses would carry over, so that or Project Management.

[lahdeedah]

I feel like you were talking about my sister for a bit there inthekitty. Especially in the sense that your mom vents to you and tries to be firm. It can be frustrating.

We are here for support cagoldi! Glad you are doing something for yourself!

[lfig]

Our roomies are annoying. There are currently 8, yes 8 people over there visiting! They are newbies to the hospital routine as well. So I keep hearing them talk about things and I want to interject and tell them what they can do or where things are when they mention it...but I don’t want to be the creeper roomie that eavesdrops. Lol. But I totally am! I did direct them to the shower at one point because I felt that was vital info...I just got my shower and feel human again!


S is still in MRI. They will do the lumbar puncture while she’s still out after the MRI and then call me back in. I have ate lunch and showered and went and bought snacks from the gift shop (which always makes me think of ggandlee!) now just waiting for the call....

No nap because I lost the urge to nap. Although I’m sure it will hit again about the time S is coming out of anesthesia and needing me full time and attention.

[vino]

Jan 4, 2019 13:03:30 GMT -6 guster said:

Jan 4, 2019 11:47:00 GMT -6 vino said:

Yes, the postings would be in Canada, some near and some far, as in New Brunswick (North-East of Maine).  It's more about the unit he gets posted to, what are the plans for it in in September, some are going on tour back to Latvia, some Iraq.  There is a posting in Germany and Latvia, but he'd have to apply specifically for it and it'd be only for 3 years so those are out.

vino , would you move overseas if yh is posted there for an extended period of time.

No, I'm staying put.  If he goes overseas it would be on tour, so 6-8 months, and families don't move for tours.

[tallb]

I'm a bit 🙄 on people taking advantage of parents but now feeling like a hypocrite as my SM just booked a moving truck to deliver furniture to us next weekend. To be fair, she wants it out so she can stage her house differently. And my sis took a lot of furniture after graduation and ended up selling/donating it over the years..and doesn't need any of the stuff we are taking.

I don't mind giving stuff away to people that truly need it or will appreciate it..like my cousin who is borrowing stuff. My nephew though, I've offered stuff but my SIL is a shopper and has tons of hand me downs from friends, so I'd almost rather consign or donate to a family in need.

[tgrimes]

lfig Hopefully it won't be too much longer.

[tgrimes]

Jan 4, 2019 13:24:44 GMT -6 tallb said:

I'm a bit 🙄 on people taking advantage of parents but now feeling like a hypocrite as my SM just booked a moving truck to deliver furniture to us next weekend. To be fair, she wants it out so she can stage her house differently. And my sis took a lot of furniture after graduation and ended up selling/donating it over the years..and doesn't need any of the stuff we are taking.

I don't mind giving stuff away to people that truly need it or will appreciate it..like my cousin who is borrowing stuff. My nephew though, I've offered stuff but my SIL is a shopper and has tons of hand me downs from friends, so I'd almost rather consign or donate to a family in need.

This is completely different than what we're talking about though.  

My in laws have offered and done nice things for us, too.  

[vino]

You guys all know that my brother, 41 years old, still lives with my Mom, right? I'm legit excited to see what happens when she sells the house in 5 years.

[cagoldi]

I will poof, PDQ, my BIL stole over $100,000 from my in-laws. Cash.

So he can join all the other loser in-laws but he’s King Jerk because it was criminal and IMO, elder abuse.

[nam2013]

cagoldi 😳😳😳!

[inthekitty]

Jan 4, 2019 13:37:30 GMT -6 vino said:

You guys all know that my brother, 41 years old, still lives with my Mom, right? I'm legit excited to see what happens when she sells the house in 5 years.

I'm legitimately flummoxed when I hear about stuff like this. One of my friends lived with his parents until the both recently died (he's around 50). It's going to be something to see how it all plays out now with inheritance because I'm assuming his sister owns part of the house now. 

I have no judgment for people who choose to have shared living arrangements with adult children because it's a mutual agreement and it works for them. But in most cases it's usually a bum child taking advantage of the parents. I just get stymied at thinking about never sticking with an ultimatum if it comes to that. 

I really thought my little brother was going to head this route. He was a complete immature dickhead and very irresponsible with money. He didn't do a single thing to help around the house (not just expenses, I even mean basics like cleaning up after himself--he'd shower and somehow manage to get water all over the floor and leave dirty towels behind). Eventually the little blossom bloomed and he's a respectable human being now who bought his own house and I enjoy being around him. But it was questionable for a while.

[wineallthetime]

I left early cause my kid is a total asshole and MIL called MH crying because she was so overwhelmed. I feel terrible. All the punishments happening around here. Little shit. Thankfully I was smart enough to stop for wine, not sure how late MH is working.

[flamingo]

Whether it's consciously or subconsciously, I think most parents always will protect/enable/defend/support the child that is perceived as "weakest". I don't know if it's out of guilt or sympathy or what, but I've seen it so many times.

A cousin of ours lived at home until his parents died a couple years ago. He's single and in his 50s, has a good job, travels, etc, so it was kind of weird, but it was assumed he at least helped look after his elderly parents. Nope. LSS, it eventually came out that the 80+ y.o. parents were doing literally everything, and it was reported back that said cousin was still sleeping in a twin bed in his old room on threadbare sheets he'd probably had since college. So strange. I assume he still lives there and sleeps on those ancient sheets in his twin bed. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[kim22]

wedding I cried reading your post. Get in all your snuggles tonight.

lfig sorry you got no rest. Why is the hospital allowing 8 people in a shared room?

[wineallthetime]

My sister went through a crappy drug addicted time where she stole from my parents, took advantage of them,lied to them, ect. I felt terrible for my parents because they knew they needed to cut her off, but were so scared she'd end up dead or something. Horrible.

[tgrimes]

Jan 4, 2019 14:16:42 GMT -6 wineallthetime said:

I left early cause my kid is a total asshole and MIL called MH crying because she was so overwhelmed. I feel terrible. All the punishments happening around here. Little shit. Thankfully I was smart enough to stop for wine, not sure how late MH is working.

Shit, I'm sorry.

[tgrimes]

Anecdote

A sweet old lady lives in the house across from us. Both of her sons live there. They're in their late 50s. We always thought they moved in to help with their parents. Nope. The old lady is the original owner and the sons have lived there since they were born....