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Post by goldenlove on Dec 7, 2018 6:21:05 GMT -6
It's 7:20 and someone is already messaging me that they want to stop by my desk to talk for 5 minutes. UGH.
Anyway, what's up?
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danib
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Post by danib on Dec 7, 2018 6:32:48 GMT -6
C woke me up at 330am after puking in his bed. He managed to use a bucket (in my room) after that. But then H came over at 5 and puked in my bed. So I have a whole lot of laundry to do this morning. We are also completely snowed in. Luckily my mom's fiance offered to come shovel us out after I called mom to tell her about all the puke..
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waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Dec 7, 2018 6:48:35 GMT -6
I knew I was going to jinx myself by talking about how great sleep has been the past few days. Today J woke up at 4:30.
Well played, karma.
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kleigh
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Post by kleigh on Dec 7, 2018 7:07:58 GMT -6
I knew I was going to jinx myself by talking about how great sleep has been the past few days. Today J woke up at 4:30. Well played, karma. Samesy. It took AB and AV 1.5 hrs to fall asleep (keep in mind they woke at 5:45am yesterday morning and took a nap 12:15-1:30ish). We put them down at 7, didn’t fall asleep until 8:30. Then AV was up 12-3ish (I fell back asleep at 3 so who knows when she actually fell back asleep). I am tired. Le sigh.
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kleigh
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Post by kleigh on Dec 7, 2018 7:15:06 GMT -6
I stayed up until 11:30pm last night working so that today I had somethings I can fire off (things like presentations, open enrollment immunizations (ETA lol should be communications) etc - things that an easily be done at any time of day or night).
So other than working, I need to mail my Xmas cards and I also might brave a store or two with the kids bc otherwise my Xmas shopping isn’t getting done.
I also need parenting guidance but it might be lengthy. LSS, I respond to every single time either of my kids say or do something (ETA where it sounds like they need or want me). Mostly an insecurity bc before kids it was my (young and foolish) pet peeve that parents didn’t immediately drop what they were doing to respond to their kids saying “mommy” or asking for something. Well, either AV is punking me, this approach doesn’t work, or she has some other thing that needs to be addressed. The second she says momma or asks for something I am attentive, stop what I’m doing and respond (yes honey mommy’s listening). She proceeds to say mommy or ask for the thing at least 30-40 more times in a row. Even when she knows she has my full attention. Wtf?
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Post by goldenlove on Dec 7, 2018 7:31:40 GMT -6
I just met with the car seat lady and she was so awesome! The seat fits great now. She showed me a few tricks to get it really tight and answered other questions I had about H's truck. She said she was the car seat advocate for 30+ years before she got moved into the group she's in now. I'm happy I don't have to buy a car seat now!
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Post by sophiegrace on Dec 7, 2018 7:38:21 GMT -6
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Post by sophiegrace on Dec 7, 2018 7:40:10 GMT -6
I just met with the car seat lady and she was so awesome! The seat fits great now. She showed me a few tricks to get it really tight and answered other questions I had about H's truck. She said she was the car seat advocate for 30+ years before she got moved into the group she's in now. I'm happy I don't have to buy a car seat now! That’s the best resource to have! I’m so glad she was there and could help you out.
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Post by sophiegrace on Dec 7, 2018 7:46:19 GMT -6
kleigh I get you, I’m the same way. Although I’m also starting to see that perhaps some of these parents are this way because their kids never actually want anything and just get a thrill over saying Mommmmmm over and over. What I do.... M wants my attention I initially give it to her. If it’s something she needs or wants and it’s appropriate I help or guide her. If I’m busy with something like cooking dinner I’ll try to help her, but explain Mommy is doing X and needs a moment after we’re doing whatever it is. If it’s something she can help with like cleaning or pretending to cut up veggies I’ll ask her if she would rather help me. If I’m doing work than I try to set her up a station and tell her mommy has to work and it’s adult stuff. I’ll help her do something once and make sure she has snack, drink, and whatever available to her and just be adamant that it’s mommy’s time and I need to get this done. It’s starting to work, I think.
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danib
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Post by danib on Dec 7, 2018 8:02:54 GMT -6
Similar to sophiegrace. I respond to my kids right away (even if thats just to say "one minute please" if I'm in a conversation or whatever), but I don't necessarily drop what I'm doing. I'll let them know I'm listening, and give them an answer, but depending what I'm doing I might tell them I can't help/play/whatever right now and redirect them.
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Post by cookswithwine on Dec 7, 2018 8:04:32 GMT -6
kleigh I totally get it. Pre kid me use to judge moms in the grocery store line that were ignoring their precious cherubs. I don’t feel like that anymore lol. I tell O to “wait” a lot when he wants my attention and I’m busy doing something else. I think it’s an important skill for a child to learn. I went to a friends house before and we could not even have a conversation b/c her child did not know how to wait for their mom’s attention. I didn’t want O to be like that. He’s obviously not perfect. But we keep practicing. I never make him wait long, maybe a minute or so. ETA: I agree with danib I respond but my response sometimes is you have to wait.
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Post by tjanca22 on Dec 7, 2018 8:04:51 GMT -6
Friday! This was a long week so I’m glad to have hit the end! I got home from the gym last night and when I sat down, I immediately started to feel nauseous and miserable. I woke up around 11 having to throw up, but thankfully slept decent after that. I’m feeling much better this morning, just no appetite. LSS, today is going to be a lazy day. If I can muster enough giveadamn today, the kids and I will run to Michaels for a few crafts to make for the grandparents. Sorry about the kids being sick danib, hopefully it’s short lived. Whatever I have, I got from E and his lasted less than a day.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Dec 7, 2018 8:16:41 GMT -6
My MIL is watching H for me today so I could come to work. Hopefully I can get out of here early because the weather is supposed to get pretty crappy and I don't want her sitting in rush hour traffic with it horrible outside.
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Post by tjanca22 on Dec 7, 2018 8:22:51 GMT -6
kleigh I think some of it has to do with age and now that they are talking more, they are practicing their new skill of asking for things. Sometimes they practice asking over and over and over. Kids also become really good at manipulating their parents to get what they want. Like E knows he can delay bedtime by asking to go potty 15 times. If the kids ask for me, I always respond to them, but won’t always stop what I’m doing. If I’m making dinner, I don’t stop but I will tell them that Mom needs to make dinner right now and I can help them in 5 mins if they wait patiently. The big one for us right now is them asking for crap while I’m driving. E has gotten much better and knows that I can’t hand him anything or help him with anything while we are in the car. I’m trying to get L to understand that if she takes her shoes and socks off in the car and throws them, that’s fine, but I’m not going to stop the car and get them for her until I stop driving. She’s doing it for attention and I’m trying to get her to understand that it’s not coming back while we’re driving. Let’s just say, she is not taking to it well 🤷🏻♀️.
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Post by goldenlove on Dec 7, 2018 8:23:37 GMT -6
C is incredibly impatient so I've been trying to teach him how to wait. I'm taking note of everything you guys are saying so I can work on them. I usually acknowledge him right away but if it's something I can't do immediately or something that needs time, I ask him to wait a minute. What do you do when your kid loses their shit over something you're doing but takes time? Like getting his food ready when he's hangry. If I ask him if he wants xyz, he will expect it immediately or he gets upset.
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Post by goldenlove on Dec 7, 2018 8:31:45 GMT -6
I just met with the car seat lady and she was so awesome! The seat fits great now. She showed me a few tricks to get it really tight and answered other questions I had about H's truck. She said she was the car seat advocate for 30+ years before she got moved into the group she's in now. I'm happy I don't have to buy a car seat now! That’s the best resource to have! I’m so glad she was there and could help you out. She really is awesome. She said she knows the person at Graco who made my particular seat and she wrote the owner's manual supplement for car seats and produced one of the videos on Youtube for H's truck. The group she manages is nothing I have experience in but I'm considering asking if she has any openings lol.
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danib
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Post by danib on Dec 7, 2018 9:07:01 GMT -6
C is incredibly impatient so I've been trying to teach him how to wait. I'm taking note of everything you guys are saying so I can work on them. I usually acknowledge him right away but if it's something I can't do immediately or something that needs time, I ask him to wait a minute. What do you do when your kid loses their shit over something you're doing but takes time? Like getting his food ready when he's hangry. If I ask him if he wants xyz, he will expect it immediately or he gets upset. Honestly, if explaining it or redirection doesn't work then I'll just let him lose his shit and continue making it without responding further. The only exception is safety, so I might respond so as to remove him from the situation if necessary. I don't play into tantrums. I'll give it a solid effort to help them with the issue, but if they get to that point then they aren't hearing me anyway, so nothing I say or do will help. So I give them a few minutes and usually after that they come looking for comfort and are more receptive.
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kleigh
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Post by kleigh on Dec 7, 2018 9:17:08 GMT -6
C is incredibly impatient so I've been trying to teach him how to wait. I'm taking note of everything you guys are saying so I can work on them. I usually acknowledge him right away but if it's something I can't do immediately or something that needs time, I ask him to wait a minute. What do you do when your kid loses their shit over something you're doing but takes time? Like getting his food ready when he's hangry. If I ask him if he wants xyz, he will expect it immediately or he gets upset. Yes this is the problem. I’ve started working on doing the things being talked about here. Responding but no necessarily halting what I’m doing, I always always explain why I can’t something etc, it’s just never satisfactory to them if I’m being honest. It’s never fast enough and never good enough so it seems, and then they just lose their f’ing mind over it. ETA the more I think about it, it just prob feels like it’s both at the same time bc if it isn’t one then it’s the other so it just feels like it’s all the time.
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Post by goldenlove on Dec 7, 2018 9:33:47 GMT -6
C is incredibly impatient so I've been trying to teach him how to wait. I'm taking note of everything you guys are saying so I can work on them. I usually acknowledge him right away but if it's something I can't do immediately or something that needs time, I ask him to wait a minute. What do you do when your kid loses their shit over something you're doing but takes time? Like getting his food ready when he's hangry. If I ask him if he wants xyz, he will expect it immediately or he gets upset. Honestly, if explaining it or redirection doesn't work then I'll just let him lose his shit and continue making it without responding further. The only exception is safety, so I might respond so as to remove him from the situation if necessary. I don't play into tantrums. I'll give it a solid effort to help them with the issue, but if they get to that point then they aren't hearing me anyway, so nothing I say or do will help. So I give them a few minutes and usually after that they come looking for comfort and are more receptive. Ok that's about how it goes here too. Usually I can distract him with something else but if it doesn't work, I just tell him I'm working on it and that he has to wait a minute and then I keep doing what I'm doing.
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danib
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Post by danib on Dec 7, 2018 9:37:15 GMT -6
Honestly, if explaining it or redirection doesn't work then I'll just let him lose his shit and continue making it without responding further. The only exception is safety, so I might respond so as to remove him from the situation if necessary. I don't play into tantrums. I'll give it a solid effort to help them with the issue, but if they get to that point then they aren't hearing me anyway, so nothing I say or do will help. So I give them a few minutes and usually after that they come looking for comfort and are more receptive. Ok that's about how it goes here too. Usually I can distract him with something else but if it doesn't work, I just tell him I'm working on it and that he has to wait a minute and then I keep doing what I'm doing. Keep being consistent. He'll get it. It'll take a while, but he will.
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Post by goldenlove on Dec 7, 2018 9:52:46 GMT -6
Ok that's about how it goes here too. Usually I can distract him with something else but if it doesn't work, I just tell him I'm working on it and that he has to wait a minute and then I keep doing what I'm doing. Keep being consistent. He'll get it. It'll take a while, but he will. After soccer last week we went to my parents house for breakfast. It's a 5 minute drive but he LOST it and cried for my mom the whole time. I was like dude seriously. 5 minutes.
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starbuck
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Post by starbuck on Dec 7, 2018 9:52:57 GMT -6
I'm scrubbing the house. It's pretty bad but I live with two people who basically only "straighten up" so...
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starbuck
Emerald
Posts: 12,464 Likes: 81,139
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Post by starbuck on Dec 7, 2018 9:57:51 GMT -6
Like I am the only adult who doesn't drink coffee, between H and all the ILs. Tell me why I am the one who had to scrub up the coffee someone spilled a week ago. They stained the cabinet with splatter. I guess they just spilled it and walked away for me to take care of.
I'm in a good mood today, as you can tell. Not bitter at all.
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vino
Opal
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Post by vino on Dec 7, 2018 10:14:57 GMT -6
It's 7:20 and someone is already messaging me that they want to stop by my desk to talk for 5 minutes. UGH. Anyway, what's up? Unacceptable. I have a strict policy of no meetings before breakfast rule. How is a person supposed to contribute on an empty stomach without caffeine. Does.Not.Compute.
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vino
Opal
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Post by vino on Dec 7, 2018 10:21:10 GMT -6
I just met with the car seat lady and she was so awesome! The seat fits great now. She showed me a few tricks to get it really tight and answered other questions I had about H's truck. She said she was the car seat advocate for 30+ years before she got moved into the group she's in now. I'm happy I don't have to buy a car seat now! Great news!
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vino
Opal
Posts: 9,054 Likes: 56,450
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Post by vino on Dec 7, 2018 10:27:11 GMT -6
Honestly, if explaining it or redirection doesn't work then I'll just let him lose his shit and continue making it without responding further. The only exception is safety, so I might respond so as to remove him from the situation if necessary. I don't play into tantrums. I'll give it a solid effort to help them with the issue, but if they get to that point then they aren't hearing me anyway, so nothing I say or do will help. So I give them a few minutes and usually after that they come looking for comfort and are more receptive. Ok that's about how it goes here too. Usually I can distract him with something else but if it doesn't work, I just tell him I'm working on it and that he has to wait a minute and then I keep doing what I'm doing. I think that's a good plan. Also, the kids have no concept of time, so a year and a minute sounds the same to them. Even at 5yo with B, I have to relate time to an activity, 'one more episode and then we'll be leaving', 'when I'm done with he dishes we can go outside', it's an activity/event to time.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Dec 7, 2018 10:28:55 GMT -6
I ignore my kids often.
Maybe that's not completely accurate. But if I am in the middle of something I will tell them to wait. That only goes over well about 20% of the time, but I'm not dropping what I'm doing just because DS1 wants to ask me for candy for the 100th time in the last hour. They can wait until I am done with I am doing and then they can have my full attention. Obvious exception is any kind of emergency.
But usually I will respond right away when I can, then if they keep asking me the same thing over and over I ignore them, because I've already answered and my answer isn't going to change. Example is standing in line at the grocery store and DS1 asks for a candy bar and I tell him no, not this time and he proceeds to keep asking me for candy over and over. I ignore all of his follow up requests.
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Post by jubilantsquirrel on Dec 7, 2018 10:32:56 GMT -6
I also do what vino does with activities vs time limits. DS1 certainly doesn't know how long 5 minutes is. So I tell him "when I am done doing abc we can do xyz", or "you can go down the slide one more time and then we have to leave", or "you can do one more lap on Mario Kart, and then it's time for bed".
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Post by goldenlove on Dec 7, 2018 10:33:00 GMT -6
Ok that's about how it goes here too. Usually I can distract him with something else but if it doesn't work, I just tell him I'm working on it and that he has to wait a minute and then I keep doing what I'm doing. I think that's a good plan. Also, the kids have no concept of time, so a year and a minute sounds the same to them. Even at 5yo with B, I have to relate time to an activity, 'one more episode and then we'll be leaving', 'when I'm done with he dishes we can go outside', it's an activity/even to time. Thank you! I'll start doing that.
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Post by goldenlove on Dec 7, 2018 10:34:17 GMT -6
The far away cafeteria has a chick fil a logo on the menu this week so I'm walking my ass over there to see what it means.
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