Doulas

[cnf]

Talk to me about hiring a doula?

H and I were talking about E's birth last night and his memory is probably better then mine in all honestly given my condition during labor. I was a hot mess last time and I think my stress and anxiety when things began to unravel might have contributed to E going into distress leading to my c-section. I really want to VBAC and I'm thinking a doula might help me be more successful.

For those that used one before, how helpful were they to you? How did your H react to you wanting another person other than them in the room as your support person?

I'm going to try to formulate my thoughts and bring it up to H tonight, but I don't want to hurt his feelings if he thinks it's me wanting someone more knowledgeable/better/whatever than him in the room helping me. I would also run it by my OB at my anatomy scan in two weeks. But I really think this might be a good route for us. I just need to make sure I can find one that's okay with me wanting pain meds and who isn't super crunchy, because we're totally not.

[grumpycat]

I've thought about using a doula as well but ultimately decided against having another person in the room who may try to talk to me.

From my research, doulas are meant to ensure whatever your wishes are (meds, med free, low intervention), are being respected and met as long as an emergency doesn't arise. A good doula will advocate for what you want with your medical team (regardless of his/her crunchy level .

Eta my husband would love another person in the room. He was more stressed out than me when I had DS. Like the nurses asked if he was OK several times. I just glared at him.

[librarylady]

cnf, my mom was a doula for many years. She definitely had clients that used pain meds. She is pretty crunchy when it comes to natural birth, but I don't think their personal feelings should come into play. Their job is to support you with whatever decisions you make. As far as how to phrase it for your H...I took Bradley classes last pregnancy and the whole method is Husband Coached Childbirth, so the partners are supposed to be your main source of support. However, my instructor still encouraged us to get a doula because it could be really helpful to have a secondary support system. You could phrase it as someone who will take care of everything else while he supports you, or the other way around.