Advice please: "Bossy" DD

[gangy]

Hello! Wondering if I can pick your brains a bit.

Lately I've gotten a few asinine comments that DD is very "bossy" and it's been bothering me. I try to keep telling myself this behavior can be inducitive of leadership qualities however, I've also had comments that we "need" to have another to prevent this type of behavior and the comments are always negative.

Honestly she is bossy. When is this a negative behavior? Should I just continue to ignore these people?

Any input would be greatly appreciated! TIA!


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[NamasteBirches]

Even if she is 'bossy', that has nothing to do with bringing another human being into this world. People are idiots.
You said she's around 3 if I remember correctly?

[misspeansmama]

Can you give an example of her bossiness?

Uh and "need to have another to prevent the behavior" is BS and that person should be punched in the face!

[skategirl128]

I'm not sure how old your DD is. Bossy is definitely an indicator of leadership skills, but it's all in the delivery.

When I work with the kiddos in my class we talk about being his being kind and asking politely will generally have others willing to work with you rather than giving a command. We do a lot of model play where I act "bossy" and then discuss how I could be nicer, kinder or ask in a different way. I also provide opportunities for them to show others how to do something- we do a lot of child "teaching" to model leadership skills also. Often, they just need to be shown how to use their skills rather than be told to "not be so bossy." We also discuss giving others a chance, since everyone's voice is important and good friends/leaders listen to others opinions.


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[Deleted]

Ummmm....a sibling would just give her another human to boss around. The power may go to her head. 😂

I would pay no attention to those idiotic statements.

[bellatrix]

F anyone telling someone they "need to have another" for any reason.

DD is bossy. We work on asking nicely instead of demanding all the time.

[pennyandthejets]

I would ignore it because it's a rude statement and completely irrelevant to your daughter being bossy or not. I've gotten plenty of comments about how my daughter will be spoiled or I'll "regret" not having another. I just smile and change the subject even though I'd like to be snarky back.

[yellowwallpaper]

May 24, 2017 11:34:04 GMT -6 @juliagulia said:

Ummmm....a sibling would just give her another human to boss around. The power may go to her head. 😂

I would pay no attention to those idiotic statements.

Right? What a ridiculous suggestion for someone to make.

[gangy]

Thanks so much ladies! Yes I was quite taken aback with that comment like LOL no!

Some examples are that she often tells her DC bestie to do this or do that and she does whatever DD tells her to do lol. Me and her mom joke that DD is going to be the one getting her friends to all sneak out when they are teenagers lol. Also getting a little attitude when her teachers tell her to do or not do something.

We do talk a lot about being nice to our friends, listening and taking turns, sharing etc. DD will be three in November.

Thank you all for your input and making me feel not alone in this. And for solidifying my thoughts how these comments are completely insane! ☺️


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[misspeansmama]

May 24, 2017 12:29:36 GMT -6 gangy said:

Thanks so much ladies! Yes I was quite taken aback with that comment like LOL no!

Some examples are that she often tells her DC bestie to do this or do that and she does whatever DD tells her to do lol. Me and her mom joke that DD is going to be the one getting her friends to all sneak out when they are teenagers lol. Also getting a little attitude when her teachers tell her to do or not do something.

We do talk a lot about being nice to our friends, listening and taking turns, sharing etc. DD will be three in November.

Thank you all for your input and making me feel not alone in this. And for solidifying my thoughts how these comments are completely insane! ☺️


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Ah this helps!  So I think that behavior is completely normal at her age.  Some kids are leaders and others are followers and it certainly doesn't take them long to figure out who will follow what they say.  I really think the key is just teaching her (which it sounds like you already are) to be nice, take turns and share.  Once she starts in preschool they are going to enforce those things so that will definitely help.  DD really learned a lot about being nice, taking turns and sharing once she started preschool.  We've also really pushed saying please and thank you...though she still doesn't do this all the time.

Anyway, thinking another kid will change her behavior is ridiculous and not the answer at all.  Goodness she's only 2.5....people need to realize that and not expect so much.  Most toddlers are bossy!

[radiantfate]

My DD is a "bossy" girl too. As skategirl128 said, it's all in the delivery. If she's being bossy, I'll turn to her and say, "Would you like to try saying that again?" It's usually enough of a reminder that she's phrasing it in a bossy way, and she'll restate it more politely.

[Deleted]

We call "please and thank you" the magic. So when DS barks orders at us, we ask him where the magic is and he amends his sentences to include manners and a better tone.

[misspeansmama]

May 24, 2017 14:13:28 GMT -6 @juliagulia said:

We call "please and thank you" the magic. So when DS barks orders at us, we ask him where the magic is and he amends his sentences to include manners and a better tone.

I love this!

[NamasteBirches]

Yea I think is normal for her age as well. I would not worry about it all & ignore the stupid commments. Having another would just give her someone else to boss around. Duhhh

[cupcake]

My DD is also bossy & sassy. She is very quick to point out if someone isn't doing something correctly or the way she likes. We are really trying to work on this.

[Yogurt]

May 24, 2017 14:13:28 GMT -6 @juliagulia said:

We call "please and thank you" the magic. So when DS barks orders at us, we ask him where the magic is and he amends his sentences to include manners and a better tone.

That's so cute! I love that

[gangy]

Thanks again ladies. I feel a lot better.


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