Angry 4 y/o

[Radley]

So DS1 is 4 and for the past 2 weeks or so has been very angry. He yells at me to do things for him instead of asking, he growls or throws fits instead using words, he whines like crazy, he is hitting himself and other. His younger brother is very physical, in fact he has been pinching everyone around him since he was 6 months old and we have never been able to convince him to stop. DS1 is often the brunt of his pinching, so that would sort of explain why he is snappy with him. He has decided that he only does what he wants to do. He tells me no, that he will do what what he wants to do. He cries and throws fits because he make him do his chores. The last few days he will not play, he sits on the sofa, gets mad that he doesn't get more than a certain amount of screen time. I'm not sure why he is suddenly so hostile. He has sensory processing disorder and he has also been having sensory meltdowns. Crying that he is mad and sad. Idk what to do to help him. He is just blatantly ignoring us and disobeying. I'm so frustrated.

[billyhorrible]

How are you guys doing on one-on-one time? Either mom/son, dad/son, or the two of you with just him?

I find that when my 5 year old has periods of difficulties like this, some dedicated "him time" really helps.

[Radley]

billyhorrible I confess that one on one time has been scarce. We have had plans, doctor visits or Birthdays anywhere from 4-6 day a week this past month. I didn't think of that but I'll see when I can figure out a daddy or mommy and son day for him. Thank you for he suggestion.

[sheilathetank]

Radley, you mentioned he has sensory issues, is there anything that may have changed in your daily routine that could aggravate this? Does he receive any OT or intervention therapy? I don't remember if you SAH or if he goes to DC, but does he react this way only at home with you guys or with everyone else?

[Radley]

Jun 21, 2017 11:57:52 GMT -6 sheilathetank said:

Radley, you mentioned he has sensory issues, is there anything that may have changed in your daily routine that could aggravate this? Does he receive any OT or intervention therapy? I don't remember if you SAH or if he goes to DC, but does he react this way only at home with you guys or with everyone else?

So our routine has been a little crazy lately with all the parties, dr visits, etc. I've been doing my best to schedule thing before or after nap and so that it doesn't disrupt bedtime but it isn't always possible. So that could be a factor. He has never responded with anger to changes before but it could be a new thing. He saw and OT last year graduated out when he met all of his goals. He is due for his annual visit though so I'm thinking about asking to have him re-evaluated since he has started self harming and having an inability to deal with noises again lately. I mostly SAH with him (and DS2) now. I used to photograph weddings but working weekends while H worked weekdays was definitely a struggle with getting quality time together. Now I'll occasionally do some housework/secretary work for someone I know. None recently though.
He has been angry with people and melting down in general. It does seem worse at home, but there are also less distractions as home I feel like. Still, he can be equal opportunity about it, angry with his Aunts or asking unkindly for things from his Grandma (not allowed obviously but I'm concerned by the fact that snapping seems his go to).

[sheilathetank]

Jun 21, 2017 21:40:47 GMT -6 Radley said:

Jun 21, 2017 11:57:52 GMT -6 sheilathetank said:

Radley, you mentioned he has sensory issues, is there anything that may have changed in your daily routine that could aggravate this? Does he receive any OT or intervention therapy? I don't remember if you SAH or if he goes to DC, but does he react this way only at home with you guys or with everyone else?

So our routine has been a little crazy lately with all the parties, dr visits, etc. I've been doing my best to schedule thing before or after nap and so that it doesn't disrupt bedtime but it isn't always possible. So that could be a factor. He has never responded with anger to changes before but it could be a new thing. He saw and OT last year graduated out when he met all of his goals. He is due for his annual visit though so I'm thinking about asking to have him re-evaluated since he has started self harming and having an inability to deal with noises again lately. I mostly SAH with him (and DS2) now. I used to photograph weddings but working weekends while H worked weekdays was definitely a struggle with getting quality time together. Now I'll occasionally do some housework/secretary work for someone I know. None recently though.
He has been angry with people and melting down in general. It does seem worse at home, but there are also less distractions as home I feel like. Still, he can be equal opportunity about it, angry with his Aunts or asking unkindly for things from his Grandma (not allowed obviously but I'm concerned by the fact that snapping seems his go to).

This is sounding more and more like anxiety induced behavior. Possibly due to the routine changes, which unfortunately cant be helped if you need to get stuff done. Can you see if you can move up his appointment? I would also reach out to a therapist who specializes in children and can help your ds learn coping mechanisms so he doesn't automatically lash out or self harm.

[Radley]

sheilathetank I could call and get a separate appointment to talk about getting a referral back to his OT or to a therapist. They tend to schedule a month or so out for annuals so I probably couldn't move that closer. I hadn't thought of a therapist but that is a good idea. The self harm bothers me a lot as I know it could escalate as he gets older. Thank you so much for your suggestions and perspective. I think I'll call his pediatrician when their office opens today.

[sheilathetank]

Jun 22, 2017 6:30:58 GMT -6 Radley said:

sheilathetank I could call and get a separate appointment to talk about getting a referral back to his OT or to a therapist. They tend to schedule a month or so out for annuals so I probably couldn't move that closer. I hadn't thought of a therapist but that is a good idea. The self harm bothers me a lot as I know it could escalate as he gets older. Thank you so much for your suggestions and perspective. I think I'll call his pediatrician when their office opens today.

I hope they can help. Keep us updated if you can/want.