TTMA: Diastasis Recti

[sunshiney]

I noticed my upper abdomen coning when I lean back for the past week or so, so asked OB about it at appointment today. She said I have diastasis recti, that it's common (about 1/3 of pregnant women get it, though usually not first pregnancy), and may or may not heal afterward. I'm feeling really sad because DH had a pretty strong stress reaction when I showed it to him and told him what I thought it was... As if he would be really disappointed if I ended up with abs that never get back in shape.

She's sending me to the PT for back pain so I'm going to ask about this too.

This is adding to my general sadness and difficulty adjusting lately to the changes in my body.

[k]

sunshiney I’ve had it with all my pregnancies. I think it eventually went away on its own without any treatment but I know you are supposed to avoid certain exercises like planks.

[TashaLa]

Oooo, this is my jam!

DR naturally occur as our belly grows and our abdominal muscles separate. Coning happens when you have too much intra-abdominal pressure putting too much stress on your already stretched linea Alba. It can be prevented by avoiding activities that require too much work for your core muscles.

Your PT should be able to give you some helpful tips, like rolling to your side vs sitting straight up, bracing your abdominal muscles before lifting, reaching or carrying away from your body etc. As well as, helpful core and pelvic floor strengthening to ease the back pain and protect your midline.

Just because you notice coning doesn’t necessarily mean this will be a big issue postpartum, but think of it as a warning shot, your body is giving you information, so respect it. Most gaps heal within the first 4-6 months postpartum if not aggravated and larger ones may require assistance from a PT

ETA: I’ve found a lot of OBs and midwives are not well versed in the prevention and rehab of DR (or pelvic floor dysfunction for that matter) or educating their patients, it’s really out of their scope. So don’t let their words discourage you. 💛

[hrh]

Ditto to EVERYTHING TashaLa said! This is my jam too. I'm going to PM you sunshiney because I'll write a novel otherwise, but I echo everything she said. There's a good Facebook group, the Diastasis Recti Support Group for anyone dealing with this. It's a lot of women talking about surgery, but setting that aside, there are some good bits of info and frankly it helps me to know I'm not alone in dealing with it.

[sunshiney]

Oh my goodness thank you both so much! Yes the OB seemed pretty useless. Actually she said I should avoid core exercises EXCEPT planks. Yikes!

It is so encouraging to hear others have this issue and it's not the end of the world!

I gently but insistently pushed DH for a really honest and frank discussion about his feelings toward my body and while some of it was hard to hear, it feels so good and close to be real with each other. Before the pregnancy I gained a good 20-25 pounds in the two years we've been together, through things truly outside of my control, and it was so cathartic to hear him honestly say that it hurt him like it felt I didn't feel it was important to take care of my appearance for him, even though he knew it wasn't my choice... And then I was able to reassure him that I feel loved and accepted and it's normal for him to feel a lack of love from watching me gain weight as we were dating (from the birth control implant and steroids for Crohn's, then a bad ankle injury that prevented any exercise), and i look forward to working on it after healing from c section. My fears of a pregnant diastasis recti situation much calmed after feeling like I know the extent of his concerns, which aren't nonexistent but aren't as bad as my imagination might make them out to be.

[TashaLa]

sunshiney I’m a PT myself and work pregnant and postpartum patients, so don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions

As far as your H’s feelings on your body- I’ve got some feelings. Your body is going through a tremendous change for a phenomenal reason, it’s his JOB right now to support you through this. If he wants to support you by helping you make healthy choices and giving you time to exercise- wonderful. But his concerns about what your body looks like post baby should not be weighing on you or impacting your own self confidence. The changes of pregnancy and postpartum are hard- physically, emotionally and mentally; you deserve to feel loved unconditionally

[notagoddess]

sunshiney, for what it's worth, I also had abdominal coning during my first pregnancy and I have it now. I thought it was a normal phenomenon as your muscles separate to accommodate the baby. I started pelvic floor rehab PT about 8 weeks PP and at that point, any DR I had had healed. I never got a diagnosis and my stomach went back to normal within 6 months, except for some loose skin. Don't assume at this point that you will have a problem just from the coning.

I agree with TashaLa's comments though. Pregnancy can do a number on your body, and you don't have to be happy about all the changes because some of the truly suck. Of course you want to get back to where you were before. But you shouldn't feel any pressure from your H that's affecting you emotionally. You should feel 100% supported in this, and that includes accepting and loving your body as it is right now.

[sunshiney]

TashaLa notagoddess thank you, it really helps keep perspective to know that there are many possible outcomes! And of course reminding ourselves of the amazing job our bodies are doing to bring our husbands kids into the world lol!!

I should clarify - he is definitely 100% loving everything about my pregnant body and feels like since I'm pregnant I'm just a glowing sexy ball of beautiful. what I dragged out of him last night was because of picking up on his weirdly heightened concern about me getting back into shape later, in our whole relationship he's never said or done anything but be completely supportive and loving and accepting about my body but I felt it wasn't all his true feelings, and I wanted us to be really honest - I'm the type that if I ask if the pants make me look fat, I want the real answer so I can go change pants lol! It was hard to hear because I like living in an imaginary world where a man doesn't think differently of your size 4 body vs your size 12 body but he was very careful, reticent, and kind about explaining his feelings... He also feels a lot of guilt for noticing or caring one way or the other, and I wanted to reassure him it's normal and makes sense and I appreciate his efforts. I think it reassured him to know that I don't feel shame or self blame for the weight gain (that happened before pregnancy, I definitely feel good about the gain since pregnancy since it's all been on target for being healthy) because I know I couldn't help it but I also don't feel like myself and look forward to getting back in shape after healing, at least to the extent I can. At the moment, I'm in a really good place of feeling content and accepting now and enjoying each day of pregnancy, and also hopeful and excited to get back to a size when not pregnant where I feel relaxed confident and more able to wear the kind of clothes I enjoy! I think every couple is different but for us his sensitivity reassurance and kindness all this time have meant a lot to me and I felt ready to hear the truth and try and help if that makes sense?

ETA; and sorry for this long AW posting! Any insecurities I have are coming from me and my issues, I definitely like to feel loved unconditionally but I struggle with it because of past experiences (family of origin garbage and abusive first husband) so the path I have to take to get to that secure feeling requires me believing that my eyes are wide open to reality and knowing I'm still "fully known and fully loved" like the song lyrics, which honestly has only been working when I start from a place of, God loves me unconditionally and I can get that acceptance from him to lean on as I learn to feel secure in MH's love as well. I'm getting there. He's quite patient with me.

[notagoddess]

TashaLa , can I ask a quick question about the coning? I mostly get it when I sit up out of bed instead of rolling over onto my side first. I try not to do that but sometimes I forget. Anyway, are planks really a problem at this point? We do them in yoga class and I haven't had any coning with them... I can continue, right?

ETA: I tried this afternoon and there was some coning with planks. But overall it felt OK.

[strawberrykiki]

A few times getting up from the couch I’ve noticed hey my belly looks weird why does it look kind of cone shaped... I never even heard of this before! I’ll definitely need to be more careful about how I get up.

It’s hard to watch your body change. I’ve accepted it’s probably not ever going to be quite the same. MH is very reassuring saying I still look great and he makes extra effort to tell me I’m pretty and doing such a great job being pregnant and handling all that comes with that. I’m grateful for him.

Hugs for all. Being pregnant is tough.

[TashaLa]

notagoddess
They may be ok, but may not. Think benefit vs risk. Be vigilant against coning by keeping your core engaged but if it feels hard to keep good form, don’t fight it. Switch to a modified version- side planks are a great safe core challenge, or hands and knees with alternating arm and leg reaches (bird dogs).
In the second trimester, preservation trumps intensity.

Here’s a site that gives more diastasis recti info that’s not garbage or trying to aggressively sell you something lol

yourpostbabybody.com/prevent-diastasis-recti-during-pregnancy

[thelittleredm]

I'm really loving this thread! Seriously, if you guys want to just make a new post and sticky it to the top with recommendations for dealing with DR, that'd be great Lol

[notagoddess]

TashaLa, thank you. I will be avoiding them for now I think. I'm noticing more separation this time around, and I don't want to inadvertently make it worse.

[hrh]

notagoddess I did planking etc. at this point my last pregnancy and it definitely worsened my DR, as did bench pressing. My goal this time is prevention. Things like carrying heavy things out front (laundry is a big issue, or lots of bags of groceries) can also cause issues for me. So either small loads carried close and tight to my body with my core engaged or I make DH do it.

TashaLa I adore that we have a PT on the board! I had a not so helpful one but then one that was life-changing with respect to my DR, I'm eternally grateful to her. You do very important work! <3