TTMA Sleep Training

[jenn83]

R is just not a good sleeper. My other two were much much better. They had their moments, but even when T was in treatment, he even slept better than she is sleeping.

She was swaddled til 3 months, then we had the sleep suit. We transitioned a couple of weeks ago into more of a sleep sack. A few nights are magical. The others. Nope Nope Nope. She will stay asleep for a little bit and either sit up, stand up, or scream like a banchee (or a combination of two). I've tried CIO which I am good for, but she will go 1 hour +. I probably just need to do it again.

Tell me your secrets...

[thatgolfb]

The sitting and standing is probably what is distracting from sleep. DD2 sleeps well usually, but now that she can sit herself up, I sometimes hear her talking to herself at 3 in the morning. She does eventually go back to sleep.

Sleep is so kid dependent, it is hard to know what will be right for one versus another. I know you know this jenn83, but for all the FTMs especially- your kid's sleep is not dependent on you as a parent, and sometimes you can do everything right and still have a kid who hates sleep. I have seen such a wide range of this on my first BMB. I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone needed to read that.

That said, I will say what worked for my kids. DD1 started waking 2-3 times per night every night during the 4 month sleep regression (her sleep was never *good* before that, but after the newborn phase it did get temporarily better). What ended up breaking her cycle was when I night weaned. I night weaned at 10 months and she started STTN at almost 11 months. The only reason I remember the exact date was because it was New Year's Eve, lol. By that time she had been supplementing with formula, so no idea if that played into it. What also helped was that we started a very mild version of CIO. We would leave her for 5 minutes and she would cry, and then we would come back. After she got used to that, we would leave her for 10 minutes and same thing. Honestly we didn't have to go longer than 10 minutes.

DD2 is basically a sleep unicorn and starting STTN/night weaning on her own at like 5 months. There have been some rough nights with teething or when she has a cold, but otherwise she STTN. At bedtime, she hates being put down, and she cries, but only for about 5 minutes. We have had to let her cry longer than that, but I can tell her tired cry from her needing something cry. Same thing in the MOTN- I let her cry, but if her cries start escalating, that is when I go in (but that has only happened when sick or teething).

Tl;dr I am probably not much help because we have truly been lucky in the sleep department. But I highly recommend doing small increments just to help create a sense of security, so that she knows you will be there if she really needs you.

[doxiemama]

I found Ferber’s book to be really informative and helpful. I’d take it out from the library or borrow it from someone if you haven’t read it yet.

[jules1614]

Sept 19, 2018 10:09:39 GMT -6 thatgolfb said:

The sitting and standing is probably what is distracting from sleep. DD2 sleeps well usually, but now that she can sit herself up, I sometimes hear her talking to herself at 3 in the morning. She does eventually go back to sleep.

Sleep is so kid dependent, it is hard to know what will be right for one versus another. I know you know this jenn83, but for all the FTMs especially- your kid's sleep is not dependent on you as a parent, and sometimes you can do everything right and still have a kid who hates sleep. I have seen such a wide range of this on my first BMB. I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone needed to read that.

This ^ is so important to keep in mind.

Ds2 is hit or miss with sttn- if he’s teething then he’s up a lot! Currently (as in the last few days) we are at zero to one wake ups per night. My “rule” is I feed him if it’s after 2 am (730pm bedtime). Last week when he was really teething he woke frequently and I nursed him back to sleep for comfort every wake up regardless of time. I had to “re-train” him now that his teeth aren’t as bad with CIO. 1+ hours of crying is tough- he is usually 30min max. I do go in and briefly comfort him if he doesn’t sound like he’s settling. I stick to a quick pick up, rock and put down. It usually makes him more mad at first but then he settles and goes to sleep.

Good luck, sleep training is hard!

[grumpycat]

We did the 5-10-15-20 minute increment check ins with ds1. It took about a week. He was (and is) very headstrong and stubborn. We didn't do sleep training with him until he was almost a year old. And we stopped offering him a bottle in the motn right after he turned 1. He started sttn pretty quickly after that.

I nurse ds2 at any wake ups after 12am (he goes to bed at 730pm). Any wake up before then, dh does a diaper change, a cuddle, and puts him back down. Then he lets him cry (while I hide somewhere with a glass of wine). I will work on night weaning him when he's a year old. He wakes up 1-2 times a night still.

Routine has been key for ds2. He knows that he gets changed, PJs on, zipadeezip on, nurses, short burp, in crib, give him pacifier/lovey, crank mobile, and I leave. He can't stand in the zipadeezip yet but he has pulled drawers out by sitting up and reaching through the crib slats. He's much more chill than ds1 is.

So +1 for it's kid dependent.

[sarahandben108]

I'd give you advice but I don't have much. We did "sleep train" with a modified Ferber with E. It helped him learn how to fall asleep more independently. That being said, he still wakes in the night and needs one of us to sooth him. He definitely can't wake and go back to sleep on his own. He normally does a mini wake-up about 9-9:30 and a full wake up about 3:30. More times than not we need to feed him at 3:30 to get him to sleep.

With N, he did one wake up in the night, I would nurse him, and then we put him into bed with us. It wasn't ideal but it was the only way to quickly get him back to sleep. We stopped doing that once we officially moved him into his crib and I night weaned all the way. But he was 2.5 before he started through sleep all night.

Honestly, I think babies are just not good sleepers until they are older and we just suffer in this stage.

[cnf]

Dd1 started STTN at 3m and with exceptions like sick or short sleep regressions remains still a magical sleep unicorn.

DD2 has SSTN a handful of times, but shes still up 1-3x a night regularly. Shes day weaned at this point except for naps on weekends or if one of my boobs is bothering me. I took advantage of my summer break to slowly cut her off. Night weaning sounds like it might be what we need to finally get her consistently SSTN. I wont might wean until she's a year, but how hard is that. She's such a food aggressive baby (I dont even know how else to describe it) that shes going to be so pissed when I don't boob her in the MOTN. How..?