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Post by sheilathetank on Sept 7, 2018 17:18:44 GMT -6
Does anyone have a good recommendation for a book that introduces personal boundaries for toddlers. I'm looking for something that outlines that some body parts aren't ok for other people to touch and you can't touch them on other people.
Since we are getting the hands aren't for hitting book (because if she isn't having accidents all days she's hitting) I thought it would be a good time to start this introduction as well.
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Post by sunshiney on Sept 12, 2018 14:59:56 GMT -6
I don't have a book rec, but I do have an activity rec that I've used as a teacher with kids of different ages, which might be helpful to make personal application after hearing a book about it.
I print out a gingerbread-person style person outline for each kid, then each student creates their own color key with their own rules, coloring body parts with what touch they are comfortable with. For example, red for only me and my doctor (maybe younger kids include parents), blue for my parents or siblings or close friends, yellow for classmates and teachers, green for strangers (something it's just hands for handshakes and maybe shoulders for tapping on the shoulder). It gives rise to really good conversations about the places we might touch or be touched for various reasons, and also helps kids to communicate wanted/unwanted touch with peers and family (in one class, I was surprised to learn that one student didn't want to be touched by anyone in class anywhere other than his hands, so we then respected that). It's also helped the conversation with families about children not having to kiss/hug/be pinched by relatives to be "polite" when they'd prefer not to be.
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Post by sheilathetank on Sept 13, 2018 7:05:52 GMT -6
I don't have a book rec, but I do have an activity rec that I've used as a teacher with kids of different ages, which might be helpful to make personal application after hearing a book about it. I print out a gingerbread-person style person outline for each kid, then each student creates their own color key with their own rules, coloring body parts with what touch they are comfortable with. For example, red for only me and my doctor (maybe younger kids include parents), blue for my parents or siblings or close friends, yellow for classmates and teachers, green for strangers (something it's just hands for handshakes and maybe shoulders for tapping on the shoulder). It gives rise to really good conversations about the places we might touch or be touched for various reasons, and also helps kids to communicate wanted/unwanted touch with peers and family (in one class, I was surprised to learn that one student didn't want to be touched by anyone in class anywhere other than his hands, so we then respected that). It's also helped the conversation with families about children not having to kiss/hug/be pinched by relatives to be "polite" when they'd prefer not to be. This is very helpful. thank you! I am trying to bring up the "we don't have to hug" thing with Mh's family but they are all VERY affectionate with each other so it's been difficult. It shouldn't be that hard to explain to a grown adult that a 2 year who doesn't want to hug you is not insulting you. |
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Post by lupincat on Sept 14, 2018 5:31:11 GMT -6
I don't have a book rec, but I do have an activity rec that I've used as a teacher with kids of different ages, which might be helpful to make personal application after hearing a book about it. I print out a gingerbread-person style person outline for each kid, then each student creates their own color key with their own rules, coloring body parts with what touch they are comfortable with. For example, red for only me and my doctor (maybe younger kids include parents), blue for my parents or siblings or close friends, yellow for classmates and teachers, green for strangers (something it's just hands for handshakes and maybe shoulders for tapping on the shoulder). It gives rise to really good conversations about the places we might touch or be touched for various reasons, and also helps kids to communicate wanted/unwanted touch with peers and family (in one class, I was surprised to learn that one student didn't want to be touched by anyone in class anywhere other than his hands, so we then respected that). It's also helped the conversation with families about children not having to kiss/hug/be pinched by relatives to be "polite" when they'd prefer not to be. This is very helpful. thank you! I am trying to bring up the "we don't have to hug" thing with Mh's family but they are all VERY affectionate with each other so it's been difficult. It shouldn't be that hard to explain to a grown adult that a 2 year who doesn't want to hug you is not insulting you. My MIL will literally chase DS1 down and trap him for a hug. It infuriates me. I usually say "it's ok if you don't want to hug" but if he hits her because she won't relent, I'm not reprimanding him. 🤷🏻♀️ |
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Post by sheilathetank on Sept 14, 2018 6:29:39 GMT -6
This is very helpful. thank you! I am trying to bring up the "we don't have to hug" thing with Mh's family but they are all VERY affectionate with each other so it's been difficult. It shouldn't be that hard to explain to a grown adult that a 2 year who doesn't want to hug you is not insulting you. My MIL will literally chase DS1 down and trap him for a hug. It infuriates me. I usually say "it's ok if you don't want to hug" but if he hits her because she won't relent, I'm not reprimanding him. 🤷🏻♀️ His family acts hurt and says really manipulative things like "that makes me sad". I'm glad I recognize this manipulation now because a few years ago I would have thought it was normal, and I have to consciously remind myself not do it too. At camp growing up the counselors would go around to everyone and offer a hug, handshake, or high five before lights out. It was a great way to meet everyone's comfort level and still respect boundaries. Would your MIL be open to something like that? |
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Post by lupincat on Sept 14, 2018 7:05:04 GMT -6
My MIL will literally chase DS1 down and trap him for a hug. It infuriates me. I usually say "it's ok if you don't want to hug" but if he hits her because she won't relent, I'm not reprimanding him. 🤷🏻♀️ His family acts hurt and says really manipulative things like "that makes me sad". I'm glad I recognize this manipulation now because a few years ago I would have thought it was normal, and I have to consciously remind myself not do it too. At camp growing up the counselors would go around to everyone and offer a hug, handshake, or high five before lights out. It was a great way to meet everyone's comfort level and still respect boundaries. Would your MIL be open to something like that? I've done the high five/ fist bump option and she does the same thing, "well that makes nana sad, I'm getting a hug!" I really need to have H talk to her about it but she has the memory of a goldfish. It's frustrating and because of DS1's apraxia he can't tell her to respect his space so he'll hit. |
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Post by sheilathetank on Sept 14, 2018 7:08:03 GMT -6
His family acts hurt and says really manipulative things like "that makes me sad". I'm glad I recognize this manipulation now because a few years ago I would have thought it was normal, and I have to consciously remind myself not do it too. At camp growing up the counselors would go around to everyone and offer a hug, handshake, or high five before lights out. It was a great way to meet everyone's comfort level and still respect boundaries. Would your MIL be open to something like that? I've done the high five/ fist bump option and she does the same thing, "well that makes nana sad, I'm getting a hug!" I really need to have H talk to her about it but she has the memory of a goldfish. It's frustrating and because of DS1's apraxia he can't tell her to respect his space so he'll hit. I'd be good with not correcting the hitting in this situation. I mean, what else do you expect him to do when you won't respect his space? |
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Post by lupincat on Sept 14, 2018 18:16:17 GMT -6
I've done the high five/ fist bump option and she does the same thing, "well that makes nana sad, I'm getting a hug!" I really need to have H talk to her about it but she has the memory of a goldfish. It's frustrating and because of DS1's apraxia he can't tell her to respect his space so he'll hit. I'd be good with not correcting the hitting in this situation. I mean, what else do you expect him to do when you won't respect his space? For sure. Usually I correct him when he hits/shoves/whatever but no means no, even for boys. Olds be olding. |
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Post by enchanted on Sept 24, 2018 19:31:15 GMT -6
I know I'm days late, but there is a book called Super Duper Safety School that a friend recommended and I now recommend to everyone. It's all about how each individual person is the boss of their body and what to do if someone doesn't respect that.
It's a little much for my two year old in one sitting, so we break it up and read a couple of rules every night until we finish the book. Then we give it a break for a week or so and start over.
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klong11
Emerald
Posts: 14,582 Likes: 84,707 
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Post by klong11 on Sept 28, 2018 10:50:30 GMT -6
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