Announcements/telling people

[Eames]

What are your plans for announcing your pregnancy? For me, I am just dying to tell people, but H wants to wait. So far, his parents know (but don't know that it's twins) but my sister and BFF at work know twins. Sometimes I just want to explode with the news.

I think we'll tell most people and work after our 12 week scan. Family and close friends before that if we see them. Facebook probably around the anatomy scan?

We are taking family pics in October, so I want to do something, maybe hold 2 little pumpkins in front of my belly or something. I was already looking at maybe wearing a plaid maternity shirt, skinny jeans, and booties. Although I might have other clothes that will work.

[jewelsofthenile]

I have my first appointment today. If everything is good. I believe we will probably tell the in laws this weekend and my family next weekend. I may also tell my boss next week because its getting harder to hide my blumpy belly. As far as the world wider web. Not really sure. maybe halloween, christmas. I haven't thought it out.

[nmom]

Funny logging on seeing this... I just totally blurted it to a pregnant co worker who I never talk to. I instantly was like wtf did I just do😂

But two of my close friends/coworkers know. They’ve been a good support system during my losses this year. My boss because she as well has been very in he loop this year. And apparently now a random ass coworker (she’s super quiet though thank god and getting ready to leave for maternity leave)

Two of my friends know and I recently had to tell my mom because she has been planning some trips and I knew she would cry if she wasn’t in town for the birth etc. and she’s my babysitter while I work.

Other then all those million people we will hold off as long as possible. I feel silly so many people know and I’m only 5 weeks but it was really out of them being such a support system during my losses. With my DD we didn’t announce to everyone until 16 weeks. Close family knew around 12 maybe?

If this belly bloat doesn’t go down and this just happens to be my belly already I don’t think I’ll make it to even 12 weeks without announcing 🤷‍♀️

[Deleted]

My cousin and 2 close friends already know. The rest? I'm not sure.

I announced my first to my mom at 6 weeks by gifting her a "World's Best Grandma" mug and watching as she put the pieces together. I didn't announce on FB until 20 weeks after we found out the sex.

I'm not sure about this time. I don't think I'll tell anyone else until we at least see a heartbeat. FB will probably be at least 20 weeks.

Your idea for a fall family photo sounds super cute though!

[magnolia]

We told my parents almost right away because I was visiting and my mom would’ve been super suspicious since I wasn’t drinking any wine with her like I normally would. We haven’t told my ILs yet. We may tell them this weekend. I’m only 6 weeks, so our parents will be the extent of who we tell until after 12 weeks.

[pambee]

Our closest friends and parents know, but that's it for now. I'm not in a rush to announce this time, and aren't sure if we'll announce on SM at all. I'd like to hold off on telling family until after 20 weeks, maybe around the holidays. It's been nice having it be our secret which I wasn't expecting, but will just go with what feels right along the way.

I'm excited to tell E, but we don't want her to know until we're comfortable with the world knowing (if only I could control what a 3yo says, lol). So we'll see how long I can hold that off.

[Eames]

I know what you mean, pambee. We are waiting to tell DD (almost 4) until we are ready for the neighbors, her teachers, etc. (basically everyone) to know. My dear girl is terrible at secrets. 😂😂😂

This is making it hard to tell family because she's always with us!

[Tlex]

We’re telling most of our extended family tomorrow via both skype and at a little family BBQ MH’s cousin is hosting just for this purpose - her idea lol. I hate being the centre of attention and especially hate feeling like my body is now being scrutinized but oh well, it will be fun for H’s grandpa and we never know how much longer we’ll have him with us. I’m going to head over to her house tonight to help make the cake which will have blue candy inside that will fall out as a surprise “oh by the way it’s a boy.” I don’t think anyone will be expecting that part of the news because we didn’t find out with the girls until 20 weeks along. I think most people suspect I’m pregnant because there was no hiding my blumpy belly this summer, especially after I’d just lost a significant amount of weight.
As for social media, idk, I think I’ll post something from tomorrow? A pic or a video? We’ll see. I’m all in my head now that people hate announcements but we’re so far away from our friends, it would be nice to share it with them all at once.

[Deleted]

pambee Eames. We were trying to wait to tell DD too. She’s three and so chatty. But she’s also wicked smart because she somehow knows. The other night a conversation led to her saying: Mommy the baby in your tummy! And then she put her hands on my belly. She must have heard us talking about the baby but I have no idea how she knows it’s in my belly! Ha!

[bex15]

We did IVF so we had a good amount of family, friends and coworkers who knew that and already know I’m pregnant. I’ll probably tell the rest of work and more extended family in second trimester. For SM 20 weeks sounds like a good time.

[bex15]

Speaking of telling people, I feel very awkward just casually being like I’m pregnant IRL if it’s not something that comes up in conversation. So like with my main boss and some of the other men at my work I’m not looking forward to that.

[grover]

The whole world knows already. I'm already huge and have been showing for a few weeks now. My plan had been to hide it til second tri, but the fact that it's twins/I'm huge already, I came out to everyone the day before school started, all staff knew from that or the grapevine, and my students knew day 1 and 2.

[tapdancer]

We told our immediate family early. After 2 losses I never wanted to call and tell them we were miscarrying again before they even knew we were pregnant. After my good scan I spent a weekend with family there was no hiding how miserable I've felt. I've told my closest mom friends (I'm on the board of my SAHM's group) and a few friends. I tried not posting on SM with DD since I know I was sensitive to pregnancy announcements but my sister accidentally posted a picture where I was very clearly pregnant so that was the end of that. At this point I don't plan to do any formal announcement. I do want to do a family picture for a Christmas card but that only goes out to family and close friends.

[Yogurt]

I work with aggressive students so I told everyone that would need to know at work right away, plus my 8 week appointment was the first day of school and I had to explain my weird absence.

Everyone else at work I've just been telling as it comes up in situations with violence (like random aids, school psychs, etc). I'll probably announce on SM around week 12, but if I lose it before that I'd share that as well.

[jacks]

We told my parents because we’re currently on vacation with them and it felt weird not to say anything. I started feeling miserable halfway through, so they would have figured it out anyways.

I’m not sure when we’ll tell other family, probably soon. No one can keep a secret though.

As for my DD (3), I’ll wait as long as possible because she has no patience and I don’t want to answer “Why?” 18 million times over the next 8 months.

I don’t have Facebook and rarely post pictures of myself on Instagram, so no formal announcement needed.

[Tlex]

Aug 24, 2018 16:24:39 GMT -6 bex15 said:

Speaking of telling people, I feel very awkward just casually being like I’m pregnant IRL if it’s not something that comes up in conversation. So like with my main boss and some of the other men at my work I’m not looking forward to that.

Yes as much as I’m not a big announcement person the only thing I dread more is casually dropping that fact on people in person, so the SM announcement style is a kind of buffer for me. I wished I could have done that with my boss at work last pregnancy haha! The most awkward “hey can I meet with you for a minute...”

[Wicket]

A bit late but we told close friends and family early. After convincing myself the spotting is normal and taking multiple tests we felt we wanted them to know either way. Somehow mil felt that meant tell all the aunts and uncles so I am not sure who else knows. I told the girls later that week after taking tests. They were excited but then my dd(5yrs) refused to believe me saying I was just joking and cried hysterically. She then needed tests to prove it and finally came around haha. She just brought it up the other day and told me, "Mom when you told me about the baby I was just emotional because you didn't tell me right away".
We have always been away from family so we typically do announce on social media after the anatomy scan. It will be close to Halloween so I am thinking something to do with that. Maybe just the words little brother or sister carved into a pumpkin.

[orangehibiscus]

My entire office knows because they know all about our IF journey and our two losses. A few local and distant friends know, and that’s it.

We were planning on telling family after we saw the HB, but then H said he wants to wait until 12 weeks to announce to family.

I’m due on H’s older brother’s birthday, and I’ve been thinking about doing FaceTime with BIL, SIL, and their 4 kids and asking BIL if he wants a niece or a nephew for his next birthday. Other than that, I don’t really have any ideas on how to tell people.

[Eames]

I was looking up announcement ideas, and got the idea of maybe doing something about a double rainbow, too. I don't know. Not a lot of people know about our losses, but they may suspect.

I also get torn about putting anything on SM, because I know it was hard for me to see at the time. I legit hid so many pregnant people from my feed. But it was a good way to find out and deal with my feelings on my terms instead of being told in person and having to act happy. So I almost preferred that buffer like Tlex was saying.

I know there is time to think about it though.

[Eames]

Also, I think I'll tell my immediate work group the week after my next scan, when we'll be all gathered. It's when we share news anyway. I think it will be less awkard than the one on ones that I did last time.

There is one guy at work who asks the craziest questions. With my DD, he asked me if it took a long time to get pregnant. If he asks me if the twins are natural or the result of fertility treatment, I'm straight up considering saying something back like, "are you asking me if we had unprotected sex and I got knocked up?" Just to see what he comes back with. He's the worrrrst for so many reasons.

[tapdancer]

Those with older kids when did you tell them? DD is 3 we haven't really been clear about it yet with her since I wanted to wait until my first scan because I didn't want to deal with miscarrying and talking about it with her at the same time. I was thinking once I start showing. When I was pregnant with DD I was teaching 3 year olds and they didn't really notice until I was 6 months along and really noticeably pregnant. Just curious on thoughts.

[Yogurt]

Aug 25, 2018 18:59:39 GMT -6 tapdancer said:

Those with older kids when did you tell them? DD is 3 we haven't really been clear about it yet with her since I wanted to wait until my first scan because I didn't want to deal with miscarrying and talking about it with her at the same time. I was thinking once I start showing. When I was pregnant with DD I was teaching 3 year olds and they didn't really notice until I was 6 months along and really noticeably pregnant. Just curious on thoughts.

I told her within the first week I knew. She knows about my losses too. She just turned 3 a week and a half ago, but she totally understood it all as far as I can tell.

[magnolia]

Aug 25, 2018 18:59:39 GMT -6 tapdancer said:

Those with older kids when did you tell them? DD is 3 we haven't really been clear about it yet with her since I wanted to wait until my first scan because I didn't want to deal with miscarrying and talking about it with her at the same time. I was thinking once I start showing. When I was pregnant with DD I was teaching 3 year olds and they didn't really notice until I was 6 months along and really noticeably pregnant. Just curious on thoughts.

I have a 4yo DD and a 2yo DD. The four year old has been telling me for about 8 months that she “wants another baby to live in our house.” I’m super excited to tell her, but we are going to wait until 12 weeks. I’ll probably be showing by then (third baby). I’d love to tell her sooner, but I feel more comfortable waiting for the same reasons you mentioned.

[remi]

We told both sides of our family this weekend. I'm relieved to have it out now and everyone was super happy for us.

[nmom]

Aug 25, 2018 18:59:39 GMT -6 tapdancer said:

Those with older kids when did you tell them? DD is 3 we haven't really been clear about it yet with her since I wanted to wait until my first scan because I didn't want to deal with miscarrying and talking about it with her at the same time. I was thinking once I start showing. When I was pregnant with DD I was teaching 3 year olds and they didn't really notice until I was 6 months along and really noticeably pregnant. Just curious on thoughts.

We’re telling N after the ultrasound in a couple weeks. She got told about one pregnancy earlier this year. Ish. And she talked about having a brother or sister for months. While I do think she understood it some my heart can’t take it again.
I’ll gamble in telling her still early but I’ll feel better after the ultrasound.

[remi]

My DD has known for several weeks but it didn’t happen on purpose. I wish we could have told her on our own terms instead of her asking questions and me being so caught off guard I had to tell her the truth

[jewelsofthenile]

So update to my orginal plan of telling people this weekend. The doctors visit was good. The baby was even measuring a few days ahead. I said why don't we tell you parents and sister this weekend to my husband. He says why do we need to tell anyone. His mom at one point even asked him if I was pregnant. He told her he didn't know.... I have no interest in keeping it a secret from our families at this point.

I am guessing it has something to do with the loss last fall. He told a lot of people early friends, co workers, and maybe he feels like if we wait to tell it won't happen again. I over hiding it and it is quickly going to be past the point of hiding it. At this rate my boss will be the first to know....because I am not going to tell my parents and siblings if he is not ready to tell his.


TL/DR My husband is not interested in telling close family, yet and i don't really understand why or when he will be.

[Eames]

We told immediate families last weekend. I'm glad they know. There is one more sibling to tell, but I kind of want to do it in person.

As for work, I'm flying today and tomorrow and I am telling my colleague in case I feel crappy. He's a friend and we work closely in our group so I don't mind. He'll probably need to take over some of my duties when I'm on leave. I want to tell one other colleague/friend too, but I need to get her alone!

Over the weekend I feel like my pants are getting tighter and less comfortable. They need to come off as soon as I'm home, lol.

[Eames]

jewelsofthenile, my H was kind of like that too (wanting to hold off). He said he feels really awkward having these conversations. So I promised to do the talking.

I don't know, I wanted people to know either way. This is our main support system.

So I don't have much advice but wanted to let you know my H is in the same boat.