"Where are you from?"

[harvestmoon]

This link caught my eye. I can really identify with the stories shared here by mixed race and passing people. I have been asked where I'm from (Canada. "But where are you from ORIGINALLY?") too many times to count.

It was actually this repeated question that lead me to identify more outspokenly as a POC starting in junior high. More so than the brown color of my skin or even the very dark color of my dad's skin - because surely I am not white if people can't help but constantly ask about my ethnicity. I think because ambiguity unsettles people and humans by nature like to categorize.

At the same time I acknowledge I grew up with and have a lot of privilege born of racism. I struggle with that, with owning my identity and defining myself, and with accepting that whatever racial identifiers I have that do prompt people to remark on my appearance have not been passed on to either of my children and so they may never understand this part of me because they will experience life as white.

And now that I've gotten all personal and TL;DR I'm going to hit post instead of giving in to the impulse to delete.

www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2017/06/08/462395722/racial-impostor-syndrome-here-are-your-stories

[adelbert]

I thought this was really interesting and I completely relate. Especially since I grew up being exposed to only one side of my family make up.

Growing up I wanted to be just one thing, now I embrace being both but have trouble feeling authentic and passing down certain things to my kids since I feel like I don't really have a clue.

Off topic but harvestmoon I really appreciate seeing you posting more also on the general discussion board. I had missed you.

[harvestmoon]

adelbert thanks so much for the kind words. I enjoy seeing you post too and that so many familiar faces are still here. I missed this community when I wasn't able to post.

[harvestmoon]

Also I just heard about the documentary black enuf* - looks really interesting along these lines and I can't wait to see it.

[lolo]

Jun 17, 2017 10:36:34 GMT -6 harvestmoon said:

Also I just heard about the documentary black enuf* - looks really interesting along these lines and I can't wait to see it.

I need to figure out how to see this movie. It sounds a lot like my life.

[onlymee]

I can relate as well. I've been asked so many times where I'm from. Or what i am. I also always get the line "your so exotic looking". Lol okay?
I am very clearly not white, but I'm also not 100% black so people always feel the need to ask I guess. I grew up in a small town where almost every other person in the school was white so I think I got used to the question from peers and their parents. I was always told I acted white and I feel like I'm not very educated in my own cultural background so sometimes I do question how I should identify myself. I'm mixed so when I hear the questions I feel like I'm often over explaining what I am. I don't really feel like I'm faking a race though. And I'm kind of rambling lol

[lolo]

onlymee, I get you.

[fosterlove]

I can definitely relate to this article. I can pass, not as white, but not enough "other" to be of concern. The often assumption is that I am Hispanic. There is a large migrant worker population, so people in my small area can connect those dots. It is very difficult. My siblings and I were the only people of any color in our community and we did not have any connection to our dad's side of the family. As an adult, I say that I am black, but feel like I am faking it in both groups.

[jd]

Not quite the same thing, but related: I was born and raised in East Africa, but I'm brown-skinned. I hate, hate, HATE the "where are you from?" question because it inevitably leads to a horrible, awkward back-and-forth about how I came to be simultaneously brown-skinned and African. Let's not even touch the "but you speak English so well!" loveliness.

[cosmic]

I really appreciate this article (I'll have to listen to the podcast later). I get the "what are you?" question often, and I can relate to so much of what is here. Someone asked me that again the other day, and when I told her that I am Puerto Rican, she said, "oh I knew you were something!" Um, yes.... I am something.

I grew up in the US, and English was my first language. My Spanish isn't great. I am still Puerto Rican. I feel like I have to make excuses when it comes up--my parents wanted us to be fluent English speakers, so they only taught us that! I can really relate to the idea of feeling like an imposter, and like other people have the power to say I don't belong. I am glad I am not alone with this.

[harvestmoon]

Jun 22, 2017 19:06:11 GMT -6 jd said:

Not quite the same thing, but related: I was born and raised in East Africa, but I'm brown-skinned. I hate, hate, HATE the "where are you from?" question because it inevitably leads to a horrible, awkward back-and-forth about how I came to be simultaneously brown-skinned and African. Let's not even touch the "but you speak English so well!" loveliness.

This is me except that I was born in Canada - to a brown skinned man who was born and raised in Kenya. There's no easy answer.

[harvestmoon]

cosmic yes, the "what are you?" questions are even worse than the "where are you from?"

[miawallace]

I'm light skinned so people normally don't comment unless they hear me speak, then the "where are you from?" convos start.
"your English is so good"
"I couldn't tell you're Mexican by just looking at you"

Thanks?

[Deleted]

People usually assume I am Hispanic. I'm not offended when people mistake me for another race, but it does annoy me when people are like "you don't look Indian at all" or "dot Indian or feather Indian?" Because wtf.