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Post by August Blooms on Jul 21, 2018 6:25:31 GMT -6
What’s happening?
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Post by August Blooms on Jul 21, 2018 6:28:06 GMT -6
I had two glasses of wine last night, I have not drank like that in approximately 18 months. I feel fine this morning but last night I felt very drunk. It was good wine. We are working on today’s plan and are going for dinner at my moms.
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cythe
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Post by cythe on Jul 21, 2018 6:31:09 GMT -6
Guys, I have a question.
Any advice or tips on how to integrate H back into mine and E's family structure?
Basically, it's been E and I since she was born. H was there for the few days after birth and then off and on until February when he deployed. Now hes back and shes 9 months old. Needless to say, shes definitely a mama's girl lol. It doesn't help that she's at that age where shed be a mama's girl even if it wasn't she and I for the last 4 months.
H is kind of afraid to be alone with her, doesn't like to hear her cry ect. Basically all the things a new dad would be. Do I just rip off the bandaid? Give them time?
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Post by CoachTsWife on Jul 21, 2018 7:14:05 GMT -6
Guys, I have a question. Any advice or tips on how to integrate H back into mine and E's family structure? Basically, it's been E and I since she was born. H was there for the few days after birth and then off and on until February when he deployed. Now hes back and shes 9 months old. Needless to say, shes definitely a mama's girl lol. It doesn't help that she's at that age where shed be a mama's girl even if it wasn't she and I for the last 4 months. H is kind of afraid to be alone with her, doesn't like to hear her cry ect. Basically all the things a new dad would be. Do I just rip off the bandaid? Give them time? @amc, tagging you here in my other BMB. I think you might be able offer advice to cythe. ETA I think @amc is west coast so she might not be up yet. But her husband is military too and I think she can relate to this and offer you advice.  |
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danvers
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Post by danvers on Jul 21, 2018 7:40:27 GMT -6
cythe Maybe run some small errands out when you know E should be pretty content - solo grocery runs or go get a quick pedicure (you deserve it after many solo months!). Something I struggle with is NOT stepping in or offering unsolicited advice when I hear DD2 start to fuss and cry (babies are most definitely not H’s preferred age). H called me out on this with DD1 so I’ve tried to do better with DD2 and let him soothe/play/feed his own way. Hopefully the transition will be smooth and quick for you all!
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danvers
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Post by danvers on Jul 21, 2018 7:46:29 GMT -6
DD2 slept absolutely terrible last night. For no discernible reason she was awake 11:30-2:30. I’m feeling very #zombiemom today. DD1 is playing candyland with my mom and Grandma this morning. So nice for other people to play these types of games with her because I can only take it so much before I start stacking the deck for her to get that dang ice cream cone so we can finish.
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Post by curmudgeon on Jul 21, 2018 7:57:58 GMT -6
cythe I’m not sure how I’d handle it if it were me, but danvers advice sounds good! Short trips away to give them bonding time and let him find what works for him. I have trouble trying to “correct” my H when he doesn’t do something the way I’d do it. I have to remember that it’s ok if he plays/soothes/talks to the baby differently and not be so quick to say “He doesn’t like that.” Your H may surprise himself and be a total natural.
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Post by curmudgeon on Jul 21, 2018 7:59:49 GMT -6
H just took DS1 to the pedi for what I’m pretty sure is a UTI. I wish the little guy had spoken up sooner saying it hurt. Afterwards we are going to my parents to splash in the kiddie pools.
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Post by duskymonkey on Jul 21, 2018 16:17:46 GMT -6
We have no plans other than house crap and relaxing in between. We automagically have grass in the backyard now! Woot! The miracle of sod. If I had my choice I rather have seeded the lawn instead cos cheaper and it’ll root better but HOA rules requires instant grass😡. Since it’s the height of summer with heat index of 90-100 plus we essentially live in a high desert, we have to water the crap out of it to help it root.😡 I did my best and bit my toungue on many counts with the way hubs handled this part of the landscape process. Hopefully I can turn the drip line back on and get my struggling plants back up alive. I keep telling myself it’s not worth fighting over with hubs about it. It is what it is, some will recover and some will get replaced. They’re plants.
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Post by duskymonkey on Jul 21, 2018 16:26:26 GMT -6
cythe, you’ve been so incredible being a solo first timer. Everything everyone suggested sounds good. Your H isn’t the only one. Hubs basically did not ever go out alone with DS until last year when I had to go on bed rest and DS was like 3! He also never gave him a bath by himself until DS was like 2 and that was cos I had be at the office really late. Anyways when you all are home together why don’t you just let H take care of her while you do your thing at home- step outside to garden or whatever. That’s way you’re still around if he needs you and gradually like suggested run short errands.
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Post by duskymonkey on Jul 21, 2018 16:50:47 GMT -6
danvers, I’m so impressed your DD is able to sit still long enough to play cnadyland. DS who is 4 cannot sit still long enough for that. Also being at your parents sounds like such a relaxing vacation indeed. doodlemommy hoping you’re having s grand time camping. I really want to go and DS keeps asking to go but with baby and his crappy naps I’m afraid it’d be more stressful than relaxing. Also just curious if the school allows to bring food treats why can’t yiu make your own cupcakes. I too hate store bought cupcakes mainly for the frosting too although Whole Foods is actually not too bad and so are Wegmans. DS’ school doesn’t allowed any food at all due to allergy concerns. They do have cake once a month to celebrate all kids bday that month and they do also celebrate on the day or a Friday if the kids bday happens to fall on the weekend. They allow non food toys. Both your ideas are great. Other suggestions, flower leis, masks, pull back cars, stickers, temp tattoos, little wind up toys. When I get on my laptop tonight I’ll link some of these items.
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Post by August Blooms on Jul 21, 2018 18:08:53 GMT -6
cythe No advice from me but everyone else’s sounds good. Hopefully after a week or two he will be able to find his groove. curmudgeon Oh no, I hope your little guy gets better soon. duskymonkey Yay for grass but that sounds like a not fun process. Are you in a part of the country that has water restrictions or are you free to water away?
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Post by August Blooms on Jul 21, 2018 18:13:24 GMT -6
Had a good day. We ended up going raspberry picking, the weather was perfect, the baby was forward facing in the carrier and trying to grab the bushes... she got a few berries right off the plant and enjoyed some of them. She also had her first taste of peach and got mad when it was finished. We had dinner at my moms, she is not a great cook and I’m still hungry.
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Taitai
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Post by Taitai on Jul 21, 2018 18:47:14 GMT -6
Hello from Singapore! duskymonkey - I’m going to search for Peranakan treats this next week! Our travel out here was okay - a bit of a flight delay, but the kids handled it pretty well. We brought along our nanny and her niece - they are both super excited to be here, and it was the niece’s first plane ride ever. She did great! Off to visit the gardens/splash pad today and eat some amazing dumplings ! |
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cythe
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Post by cythe on Jul 21, 2018 20:29:57 GMT -6
Hello from Singapore! duskymonkey - I’m going to search for Peranakan treats this next week! Our travel out here was okay - a bit of a flight delay, but the kids handled it pretty well. We brought along our nanny and her niece - they are both super excited to be here, and it was the niece’s first plane ride ever. She did great! Off to visit the gardens/splash pad today and eat some amazing dumplings ! Eat extra dumplings for me!! |
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Post by duskymonkey on Jul 21, 2018 23:25:11 GMT -6
doodlemommy and everyone else looking for party favours, this flipping bug is pretty awesome. These color your own masks are neat too. DS has this finger flashlight car and he loves it to bits! You might hate me for this but DS loves these sticky hands to bits too!
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Post by duskymonkey on Jul 21, 2018 23:41:42 GMT -6
August Blooms, a good portion of the state is under drought warning and has been for years. The cities have water restrictions but we don't live in the city and we also live in a farming community so farmers need to water their crops. We're relandscaping to a waterwise yard so we use less water. We've eliminated 2/3 of lawn in our backyard and will be converting the front lawn in the next couple of years to be xeric. I've already xeriscaped sections of it and it's doing really well. Planting anything where we are is such a challenge. The grass/sod we obtained is also a drought tolerant hybrid so we're hoping once it gets established we won't be needing to water it as much as the KBG which we had. Trees are so much more difficult. Hubs and I basically took a whole day to pick axe the ground for just 1 tree - the clay soil here is... something else.
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Post by duskymonkey on Jul 22, 2018 0:11:50 GMT -6
Taitai , OMG! I am salivating! all the food. Stuff yourself on my behalf puhleez! My fav is the one you don't like lol! I think you've had onde-onde. However I do love pulut tekan ( pressed glutinous rice with kaya )  and another uncommon favorite is lepat kacang ( "lepat" typically refers to dumpling "kacang" is beans )- ingredients are glutinous rice, blackeye peas and grated coconut wrapped in "Nipah" leaves.  Another one I love is kuihi talam which I swear I ate something similar when I was in Thailand  Ooohhh! If you can find anywhere that serves Pai tee - a savory tea time treat! Dang...I might make this when my sister visits next month.
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Post by bootsorhearts1 on Jul 22, 2018 6:00:49 GMT -6
August Blooms I had two glasses of wine last night also and did not feel the greatest when I woke up for a night feeding. I was like “oh yeah this is why I don’t do this often”. cythe I know it’s not the same because he’s been here but DH is struggling to bond with DD. With DS we bottlefed and he did most of the feedings so they were very close. This time he gets overwhelmed very easily and feels like he’s at a disadvantage because he can’t just pop her on a boob. I don’t know the answer but I think small periods of time letting them be alone even if you’re home, will give him some confidence. Going for walks together would be good because most babies are calm in the stroller. And it gives you a bit of a break! Today is a lazy Sunday. We might go for a long walk with the new double stroller (it’s a joovy caboose ultralight if anyone is in the market for one!) and the usual Sunday madness to prep for the week - groceries, laundry and tidying up.
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Post by thechickencoop on Jul 22, 2018 6:13:52 GMT -6
Taitai , OMG! I am salivating! all the food. Stuff yourself on my behalf puhleez! My fav is the one you don't like lol! I think you've had onde-onde. However I do love pulut tekan ( pressed glutinous rice with kaya ) and another uncommon favorite is lepat kacang ( "lepat" typically refers to dumpling "kacang" is beans )- ingredients are glutinous rice, blackeye peas and grated coconut wrapped in "Nipah" leaves. Another one I love is kuihi talam which I swear I ate something similar when I was in Thailand Ooohhh! If you can find anywhere that serves Pai tee - a savory tea time treat! Dang...I might make this when my sister visits next month.
Nomnomnomnom |
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Taitai
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Post by Taitai on Jul 22, 2018 6:22:32 GMT -6
duskymonkey Kuihi Talam is definitely in Thailand too! We just had some last week - they use the same color green (getting lighter in layers) too! I luuuuv it. I’m going to look for Pai tee. Today I had some Liho Oreo chocolate bubble tea, and it was muy tasty. We also had some burritos for dinner, because there is like noooo good Tex mex in Bangkok. The place we went here was actually really good! There are some hawker courts we’re going to check out tomorrow. I need to get some roti - I’ve been craving it for a while. Will keep my eyes peeled for the other dishes you recommended! Anything in glutinous rice (except if it’s dried fish) is my friend!!! LO also did amazing today - we were out and about for like 8 hours, and he didn’t fuss at all. Slept in the carrier for naps, and was just a really good baby. DS1 on the other hand - ugh. Three year olds can really be a-holes sometimes. He kept screaming to get attention and melting down if he didn’t get his way. Just extra crabby all around today. Hoping tomorrow will be better for him.
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Post by August Blooms on Jul 22, 2018 8:01:21 GMT -6
cythe No advice from me but everyone else’s sounds good. Hopefully after a week or two he will be able to find his groove. curmudgeon Oh no, I hope your little guy gets better soon. duskymonkey I had to look up xeric and some of the images are lovely. It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into what will work in your environment. We have a ton of fresh water here so we kind of take it for granted and water conservancy isn’t a big thing. We have clay below a few inches of soil here too, we can dig into it but man is it a pain so I hear you on that. bootsorhearts1 It’s turned me into a cheap drinker, bottles are lasting me a lot longer these days and with my weight loss goals one glass is usually all I can fit in. And plus also the idea of dealing with a baby and a toddler hung over is so not appealing. Taitai Enjoy your trip! My 3 yr old is sounding like yours these days. So frustrating.
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Post by August Blooms on Jul 22, 2018 8:06:58 GMT -6
Rainy Sunday, baby is down for her 1st nap and I’m going to clean. I’ve been ignoring a few things since the weathers been so nice, I can no longer justify ignoring them. I just want to lay around with my coffee and read the book I just started.
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danvers
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Post by danvers on Jul 22, 2018 9:30:27 GMT -6
Heading back home in a little bit - we’ve had such a good time at my parents. DD1 has been spoiled rotten with all the attention. She’s swimming in the pool right now with both my parents while I’m supposed to be packing up. DD2 has been a super grouch lately so I wonder if she’s getting a new tooth. She did cuddle this morning for about two hours after she woke up to nurse, she snuggled right into me and feel asleep. I would have stayed there forever if we didn’t have to get up for church.
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Post by trinitrotoluene on Jul 22, 2018 12:30:40 GMT -6
Hanging in the mother's room at church with a sleeping baby on my shoulder/ chest. If I don't play on my phone I'll fall asleep too, and sleep right through the end of church
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Post by doodlemommy on Jul 22, 2018 15:11:51 GMT -6
Camping with DS was...interesting...
I ended up having to nurse him down for naps and bedtime on the air mattress and leave him there (checking through the tent window every 5 minutes or so because he’s a tummy sleeper and the air mattress has the quilted “comfort top” so I wanted to make sure he could breathe ok). He absolutely would not fall asleep in his playpen. Not sure if it was too bright, too loud, too cold or what. And then he ended up sleeping with us on the mattress all night and was up so so many times. Like, my nipples are legit bruised from the comfort nursing/sleeping with nipple in mouth nonsense he was doing. But it was fun and we survived! We are going with DH’s family in 2 weeks and we are planning on hanging extra tarps to try to darken the tent and bringing 2 queen air mattresses, Dh will sleep on one with DD (she had a twin this time and did fine) and I will sleep with Ds on the other, seems like the simplest option 🤷♀️
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Post by doodlemommy on Jul 22, 2018 15:15:04 GMT -6
duskymonkey the cupcakes or any treats have to be store bought because they have to be able to read all ingredients for allergens etc. If i could send homemade I 1000000% would, but alas. Also Canada so no whole foods or Wegmans haha. Safeway would probably be where I’d get them if we go the cupcake route
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Post by doodlemommy on Jul 22, 2018 15:22:45 GMT -6
cythe I don’t have any advice but my thought would be to start slow. E and your H have to get to know each other again and I would be worried if I just peaced out to let them figure it out it would be too stressful for both of them! I agree with other people’s ideas of delegating certain tasks to dad or starting with small/short errands. DS is absolutely a mama’s boy right now too. If he can see me or hear my voice all he wants to do is find me and wants nothing to do with DH or anyone else. But if I leave the house or even the room, he is perfectly happy and content with DH and loves his daddy time 🙄 Like other’s it’s sometimes hard to not step in and micromanage the way DH does things, but I’ve learned to just let him do his thing even if it’s not the way I would and things are always just fine (obviously we’re not talking safety stuff or actual big parenting methods/approaches etc)
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cythe
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Post by cythe on Jul 22, 2018 17:20:02 GMT -6
Thank you all for your input! We have been trundling along and its going well, actually as soon as I asked the question in here I noticed that H was looking a lot more comfortable in his role as dad. I agree that starting small is the way to go, so we will just keep on with that. Right now we are doing 1/2 and 1/2 on bath time which was H's solo baby time before he left. He has been reluctant to jump back into taking on bath time so we are duoing it right now but I'm slowly leaving the room more and more haha.
I'm confident he will get there, and hopefully without too many tears from E and frustrations from H!
Thank you ladies!
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