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Post by marygracerich on Jul 19, 2018 4:20:39 GMT -6
Good morning!
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Post by marygracerich on Jul 19, 2018 4:21:00 GMT -6
I’ve been up since 2:20ish. I want to go back to bed.
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Jul 19, 2018 6:11:11 GMT -6
Ugh I'm sorry marygracerich. Hopefully you can fit in a nap today. Does anyone else feel like they have an extra kid to get up in the morning. I wake up when the baby stirs, get her a bottle, let the dogs out, feed the dogs, get DD1 up, take her to the bathroom, put her in her clothes, feed the baby, get the baby ready, get the bottles ready for daycare, get DD1's extra clothes in the bag for daycare and finally get DH up. Throughout this whole process I have tried to wake DH multiple times. Granted, he has been staying up late working on his business but really? One day I would like some help. I feel like I get out the door faster when he's out of town for work. Sorry to vent here. Whenever I complain to DH he hears "you're a terrible dad and don't do anything" which leads to arguments. I feel better already just getting it out.
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Jul 19, 2018 6:21:25 GMT -6
I'm 100% in charge of the morning routine while DH gets himself ready. I don't leave the house for work so it isn't a big deal, but sometimes I would like some help since I'm the one that gets up with her MOTN when she wakes up. DH gets up showers, gets dressed eats breakfast, plays on his phone and packs his stuff up.
I get up, get Faith up, change her diaper, get her dressed, feed her, pack her daycare bottles/food up, gather her daycare back and then he will usually strap her in the car seat. I do as much as possible the night before so I can sleep as long as possible.
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Jul 19, 2018 6:29:20 GMT -6
aprilz81 I think for me, and I'm not sure you're feeling this way too, it's overwhelming to do everything but at the same time I don't feel like I get much time with them so I like that we have that time in the morning. If DH could at least get the bottles and stuff like that ready and I didn't have to wake him up 100 times, I would be okay with getting the girls ready and up and fed.
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Jul 19, 2018 6:46:17 GMT -6
aprilz81 I think for me, and I'm not sure you're feeling this way too, it's overwhelming to do everything but at the same time I don't feel like I get much time with them so I like that we have that time in the morning. If DH could at least get the bottles and stuff like that ready and I didn't have to wake him up 100 times, I would be okay with getting the girls ready and up and fed. I get that way sometimes to, but not always in the morning. Last night I put Faith to bed while he ran to the grocery store for a few things. When he came back I was vacuuming, moving our old coffee table to the formal living room to make room for our new one, and generally cleaning our main floor. He just sits down on the couch to wait for me to be done so we can watch another episode of Lost (he wants me to watch it with him so I am). It didn't even cross his mind to help... On Sunday when I found out our deep freezer was left open and I was cooking up a storm Faith was napping so he could have helped, but he went out on the back deck to read a book. Since he was the one who left the freezer door open (by accident of course) I was doubly irritated.And don't get me started on the mental workload of making sure we have groceries, diapers, formula, bills paid, schedules managed, etc. That is 100% on me unless I specifically tell him to do something. That being said there are things he does without being asked/told/nagged but it does seem like I carry the brunt of the workload. But for all I know he feels the same way and that he carries the brunt. We all tend to see ourselves as doing more, especially while we are doing it.
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Post by yellow711 on Jul 19, 2018 6:54:52 GMT -6
I am fortunate my husband is helpful in the mornings.
Unless one of us is traveling for work, the work week is like this: Two mornings a week I leave the house before anyone gets up. I go to the gym and shower/get ready there. The other 3 mornings we equally help with the kids
DH also does daycare drop off
I do daycare pickup and make dinner when I get home with the kids
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Post by yellow711 on Jul 19, 2018 6:56:11 GMT -6
I have been in Florida for work since Monday. I go home today and I can’t wait to see the kids. (And the husband)
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Post by watermelonseed on Jul 19, 2018 7:14:05 GMT -6
Morning!
I overall manage all the details, day care schedule, meal planning and cooking. I do drop offs and H does pick ups. H works 4am-noon with one weekday off and works one weekend day. He cares for the girls all afternoon during the week. I do nightly wake ups because of his schedule. It took us quite a while to get into a groove that works for both of us. Days are still long, but it does get easier after year one. Babies are hard.
Today is my Friday and I’m working from home. Tomorrow H has his V.
I’m going out to dinner with a friend tonight and I’m looking forward to a large drink and catching up.
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pinkcat
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Post by pinkcat on Jul 19, 2018 7:18:34 GMT -6
Good morning and Happy Thursday everyone! sarahh Sometimes you just need to vent and get it out! Isn't it amazing how little sleep you get used to running on once you're a mom? Before I was pregnant I felt tired if I didn't get at least 7.5 hours of sleep a night. 6 hours a night felt like a really short night. Now I literally haven't had a single night with more than 6.5 hours of sleep since DS was born. It is really crazy what your body can adjust to!
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pinkcat
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Post by pinkcat on Jul 19, 2018 7:26:05 GMT -6
In terms of division of labor, I feel like we have a pretty good balance. Because I'm breastfeeding the overnight wakeups default to me, but DH still gets up with each one to ask if I need anything. We have a pretty good system of switching off-on weekends we make sure we each get at least a few hours to work out, take a long shower, or whatever we want to do with "alone" time. He cleans all bottles, does all the dishes, cat litter, yard work, and vacuuming, and I do the rest of the housework like laundry, cleaning bathrooms, and just daily straitening up. I think it took us a few months to get into this groove but overall I would say we both feel pretty happy with the split that we have! I do wish some of the mental load tasks- like thinking about creating good sleep associations or deciding when to start solids- didn't always fall to me, but I'm the researcher between the two of us so I don't mind it too much.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2018 8:14:18 GMT -6
On days when DH works he leaves the house at 5:30 am before anyone else is awake so I am on my own in the morning. He typically packs the kids' lunches the night before, then I do the bottles and pack the diaper bag the night before. I actually prefer to do it on my own though. On weekdays he is off he tries to be helpful but he is SOOOO SLOOOOOOW and I inevitably run late because of his "help" lol.
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bassa
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Post by bassa on Jul 19, 2018 8:17:46 GMT -6
I do 100% of the morning routine, and H wakes up just in time to take DD1 to daycare. Sometimes I wish he’d get up earlier and help out, but I don’t usually *need* help. (Except for if we’re running late, then I do wake him to help.) I guess we got into this routine because he was often working late (past midnight, he works from home) so I’d let him sleep.
I have to say that he’s not the best at doing his share of the house work, but whenever I bring it up he agrees and makes an effort to do better. Like the other day, we both say goodnight to DD1, and then I go nurse the baby to sleep (45 minute process). When i’m done I go downstairs and wash the dishes/clean the kitchen, for another half hour. That whole time H was playing a video game. I didn’t get mad, I just sat down and said “I’d like to have a conversation about division of labor.” And he was like...yea. Sorry! The new expectation is that while I’m putting baby to bed, he’s cleaning the kitchen.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2018 8:25:15 GMT -6
H does most of the morning routine but I try to get as much done the night before for him that I can. He packs lunches, gets that baby dressed, naked breakfast and packs my pump bag. I pick the boys clothes out the night before (DS1’s I pick out a weeks worth on Sunday’s).i work with DS1in the morning to get up. I leave before H so thus has always been our routine. I do daycare pickup and dinner/laundry when I get home before him.
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Jul 19, 2018 8:31:53 GMT -6
June and January is having a warehouse sale of everything for $10 if you buy more than 3 things and free shipping! I just got $210 worth of stuff for $80. I would have bought less but the girls obviously need matching right?
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bassa
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Post by bassa on Jul 19, 2018 8:35:48 GMT -6
H does most of the morning routine but I try to get as much done the night before for him that I can. He packs lunches, gets that baby dressed, naked breakfast and packs my pump bag. I pick the boys clothes out the night before (DS1’s I pick out a weeks worth on Sunday’s).i work with DS1in the morning to get up. I leave before H so thus has always been our routine. I do daycare pickup and dinner/laundry when I get home before him. Naked breakfast!? You guys have a fun routine. 😉
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Post by marygracerich on Jul 19, 2018 8:45:41 GMT -6
MH is usually a big help. Two mornings a week he goes to work for 5:30 so those days I am on my own. The other 3 work days he gets up with the baby and I wake up at 6:40 to shower before I get G from her room. The weekends he gets up with the baby and I sleep until G gets up or 7am, whichever is later. He currently has a long lunch break so he comes home and takes over baby duties and lets me relax during that time.
His household duties are litter box, trash and picking up after the kids after bedtime. I usually do everything else. He does some laundry too. I also only work part time so it’s not a big deal for me to do more.
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Post by watermelonseed on Jul 19, 2018 8:49:39 GMT -6
Enfamil: does anyone want these coupons? My friend at the pediatric office gave me a whole bunch. $3 off Enfamil neuro pro infant or gentlease. Exp. 12/31/18
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Jul 19, 2018 9:02:55 GMT -6
DH is great about helping out if I specifically ask him but sometimes I resent having to ask. This predates having a baby in the house.
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Post by jessijean on Jul 19, 2018 9:40:49 GMT -6
Morning routine we divide and conquer. He gets the big kid ready while I handle the baby. I'm thankful he doesn't mind helping out.
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Post by easternshoregirl on Jul 19, 2018 10:42:17 GMT -6
This fall will be interesting because DH will be getting both kids ready in the morning! I can't wait to show up at day care in the afternoon and see what they are wearing... He is capable but like many other DHs "just doesn't think of it." I have been doing both kids' bedtimes lately so we're going to have a talk about me coming downstairs to find the sink still full of dishes....no lie, the other night he pointed out that he "cleared the plates" except they hadn't even made it to the dishwasher, he took them off the table and put them in the sink. And he "swept the floor" but only the part under the toddler's seat at the table, not the whole kitchen. ...............??????? He does all our yard work though and is good about cleaning bathrooms and doing the kids' laundry and other tasks but yeah, when I'm doing more childcare and we are both home, a little more would be nice. Right now, I'm off work for the summer so I don't mind it as much but I'm still "on" from the time I get up to the time the kids go to sleep.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2018 18:03:50 GMT -6
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Jul 19, 2018 19:01:34 GMT -6
I’m currently nursing the baby and putting her to bed. DH has the other three. I can tell at least one of them is crying. Maybe two. Mayyyyybe I’ll hide in here a little longer.
Sometimes I feel like I’m doing ‘all’ the work but if I sit down and think about it he really does a lot. The stuff he does (taking care of the exterior of the home) may not be what I would prioritize, but I don’t have to do any of it though. He helps out with inside chores too, because he realizes the less I have to do after everyone is in bed, the better the chance is he might get some action. Lol.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Jul 20, 2018 1:06:45 GMT -6
So late to this convo but figured I’d add my 2 cents... my H definitely doesn’t contribute around the house as much as I’d like, BUT I definitely know he carries his own share of burdens as far as taking care of us & the house. Whenever he deploys I really notice it bc he isn’t there to do a lot of those things. And then I reallt am doing 1000000% of the things.
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Post by sunfrogger on Jul 22, 2018 16:50:05 GMT -6
Thanks for checking in on me!! I'll post an update on the weekend thread.
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