smores
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Post by smores on Jun 13, 2017 11:22:04 GMT -6
The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.
Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.
**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**
How are you doing?
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):
Diagnosis (if applicable):
Updates/questions:
Debbie downer (a place to vent):
QOTW: I need an easy one. What is/are your favorite summer sound(s)?
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smores
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Post by smores on Jun 13, 2017 11:39:10 GMT -6
How are you doing? I have my hopes up pretty high for this cycle. I should know better. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC - CD 29 / 9 or 10 dpo - cycle 9-ish (2 AL) Diagnosis (if applicable): N/A Updates/questions: None today. Debbie downer (a place to vent):**TW-OPP** Do you guys remember that friend I bitched about last week? For 2 more days last week she kept telling me how pregnant she "was"/felt and the nicest thing I could muster to say to her was "Did you take a test"? To which her answer was always, "Yes, negative again".  Anyway she finally got "confirmation" that she is NOT pregnant. Thank God that I don't have to hear about that anymore. I allowed for multiples because I have two! My first one is the ocean and waves crashing on the beach while I lay out (on the rare occasion I get the chance!). The second is just going to a nearby park with a book and closing my eyes and listening - kids playing, people chatting/laughing, birds chirping, etc. - it is one of the most relaxing things to me!
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Jun 13, 2017 15:16:04 GMT -6
How are you doing? I'm okay. Some days I'm doing good, other days eh.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched
Diagnosis (if applicable): PID
Updates/questions: almost one week until my appointment. I'm ready for it to be here and anxious at the same time.
Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm feeling overwhelmed by the idea of having to lose 70lbs before we can try. I'm scared that I don't have the discipline to do it.
QOTW: I need an easy one. What is/are your favorite summer sound(s)?
I have two I grew up with and one I recently learned to love.
1) creek sounds, bubbling water. I used to walk down the trail near our house and go read in peace. I love it.
2) lawns being mowed. I used to love mowing the yard. I have a big family and we had a big yard so sometimes it was the longest I'd go uninterrupted.
3) the ocean! We only went once when I was tiny so I didn't remember what it sounded like, but I've been twice in the last few years and I really really love it now.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Jun 13, 2017 15:18:04 GMT -6
smores I'm sorry! Fingers crossed for the next cycle. I'm glad you don't have to listen to that anymore. It's very annoying to have that going on. Sometimes people just absolutely do not get it.
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Jun 13, 2017 15:28:57 GMT -6
smores oh my god to your friend. Like? WTF? I'm sorry she did that but glad it's finished. Also I hope you're high hopes pan out.
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Jun 13, 2017 15:30:15 GMT -6
Radley that sounds like a big challenge! But you can do it! Maybe break it down into much smaller goals though!
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Jun 13, 2017 15:35:42 GMT -6
How are you doing? Also up and and down. It's been a roller coaster week (see below)
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC
Diagnosis (if applicable): NA
Updates/questions: 12dpo and stark white BFNs. I was ok with it until the last part of my Debbie downer below.
Debbie downer (a place to vent): ****multiple TW*****
A friend whose son was facing a serious health issue got the best possible news (yay!) then another friend got bad news about her pregnancy, lastly, MH'd cousin announced her oops pregnancy, her EDD is the same as the one I would've had. That really stung.
***end TW****
QOTW: I need an easy one. What is/are your favorite summer sound(s)? The hiss of a freshly cracked beer!
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smores
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Posts: 273 Likes: 722
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Post by smores on Jun 13, 2017 17:35:26 GMT -6
*snip* Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm feeling overwhelmed by the idea of having to lose 70lbs before we can try. I'm scared that I don't have the discipline to do it. *snip* You got this! I'm not saying it will be easy, and I get feeling overwhelmed, but I totally believe that you have the strength!! |
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smores
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Posts: 273 Likes: 722
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Post by smores on Jun 13, 2017 17:42:46 GMT -6
**TW - OPP** nevertoomanyshoes - Right?! I don't want to complain too much about her. She is a really good friend. It's just when it comes to this... she truly does not get it. It sounds like you have had a lot of news to process this week. I'm sure that was mentally draining, especially that last bit of news. I feel a dagger in my heart when I find out someone I know has an EDD in the same month I did! I can't imagine someone close to me having the exact same date. Sending you big hugs. |
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Jun 13, 2017 19:27:08 GMT -6
Thank you smores it seems to be very much "when it rains, it pours!" around here! I'm finding it hard that I would've been announcing about now and of course other people are doing their announcing for around both my EDDs. It's the worst feeling being happy for someone else but so disappointed for myself. I keep nearly crying today over every little thing. PMS not helping! Next person who asks me when I'm having more kids will probably get yelled at. |
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Post by notelsie on Jun 13, 2017 21:50:38 GMT -6
How are you doing? It's really hard to say. I go back and forth between numbness, anger, and sadness. Right now I'm managing.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Waiting for my first period to talk to H about when we want to try again.
Diagnosis (if applicable): Updates/questions: Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm going to stack all these together.
TRIGGER WARNING
We got the results back from our sweet Roo. Baby was diagnosed with triploidy so it had 69 chromosomes instead of 46. Apparently this is lethal so it either wouldn't have survived birth... or would have died shortly after.
We also found out it was a boy (XXY). We had talked names last week just in case we found out. I let H pick the boy name. His name is Christopher Bradley <3
As hard as it still is mourning our sweet boy I know this was for the best. It would have been so much harder to deal with later. Gosh, that sounds terrible.. but it would have broken me even more later. So many feels, I just don't know what to do with myself.
QOTW: I need an easy one. What is/are your favorite summer sound(s)? I like the sound of trees blowing in a light breeze.
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Post by notelsie on Jun 13, 2017 21:52:13 GMT -6
Thank you smores it seems to be very much "when it rains, it pours!" around here! I'm finding it hard that I would've been announcing about now and of course other people are doing their announcing for around both my EDDs. It's the worst feeling being happy for someone else but so disappointed for myself. I keep nearly crying today over every little thing. PMS not helping! Next person who asks me when I'm having more kids will probably get yelled at. I feel you <3 We were supposed to announce tomorrow after our NT Scan. So many hugs. |
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Post by notelsie on Jun 13, 2017 21:54:18 GMT -6
*snip* Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm feeling overwhelmed by the idea of having to lose 70lbs before we can try. I'm scared that I don't have the discipline to do it. *snip* You got this! I'm not saying it will be easy, and I get feeling overwhelmed, but I totally believe that you have the strength!! You can do it! I know it's super intimidating, but I believe in you <3 |
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smores
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Post by smores on Jun 13, 2017 22:11:13 GMT -6
Thank you smores it seems to be very much "when it rains, it pours!" around here! I'm finding it hard that I would've been announcing about now and of course other people are doing their announcing for around both my EDDs. It's the worst feeling being happy for someone else but so disappointed for myself. I keep nearly crying today over every little thing. PMS not helping! Next person who asks me when I'm having more kids will probably get yelled at. I'm sorry. It's just so unfair. I am right there with you on the second paragraph <3 |
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Post by bunnyfungo on Jun 13, 2017 22:45:32 GMT -6
Thinking of you and Christopher notelsie. I know how important it was for you to recognize him and give him a name. I will keep you both in my thoughts. How are you doing? I fluctuate. I've been thinking more about it because my EDD is getting closer and it hurts. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC Diagnosis (if applicable): N/A: Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm just pissed at my body right now. I'm 6 months out and have only had 3 cycles and I just don't know if it's loss related or my body being an asshole in general. QOTW: I need an easy one. What is/are your favorite summer sound(s)? Probably the sound of all the thunderstorms we get here. It's tornado season and I love it. Give me all the thunder and lightening. |
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Jun 14, 2017 3:30:39 GMT -6
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Post by notelsie on Jun 14, 2017 8:47:52 GMT -6
Thinking of you and Christopher notelsie . I know how important it was for you to recognize him and give him a name. I will keep you both in my thoughts. How are you doing? I fluctuate. I've been thinking more about it because my EDD is getting closer and it hurts. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC Diagnosis (if applicable): N/A: Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm just pissed at my body right now. I'm 6 months out and have only had 3 cycles and I just don't know if it's loss related or my body being an asshole in general. QOTW: I need an easy one. What is/are your favorite summer sound(s)? Probably the sound of all the thunderstorms we get here. It's tornado season and I love it. Give me all the thunder and lightening. EDDs are so hard.. we have ours coming up next month. We were probably due around the same time? I'm not ready to deal with it.. especially now.
Bodies can be such assholes, I'm sorry  I hope you start cycling soon <3
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smores
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Post by smores on Jun 14, 2017 10:38:16 GMT -6
notelsie - I'll be keeping you, YH, and Christopher in my thoughts. It is really is a beautiful name that you gave him. Sending you big hugs this week.
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smores
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Post by smores on Jun 14, 2017 11:01:43 GMT -6
bunnyfungo EDDs and milestones are so hard. I'll be thinking of you as yours approaches. The longer cycles might be worth mentioning to your OB? Especially if your cycles weren't typically that long before your loss. My OB told me my cycles might be a bit wonky for up to 6 months after, but to let her know if anything was still abnormal after that.
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Jun 14, 2017 16:37:07 GMT -6
How are you doing? Pretty good right now. I'm in the lull between trigger times, so my mind is pretty well at ease right now.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched
Diagnosis (if applicable): RPL
Updates/questions: One of the big hurdles to get through before TTC again is getting my oral surgery done, and it's coming up next month. I'm getting super nervous about that, and more importantly, about the money I'll have to pay towards that. I have to call my insurance tomorrow to find out how much they'll be covering for my partial plate, and then I have to figure out if they'll let me take out a loan for the rest. And if not, well... then I'm going to be missing teeth in the front for a while...
Buuuut after that is my 30th birthday and we get to get down to trying again, so needs must!
Debbie downer (a place to vent):
QOTW: I need an easy one. What is/are your favorite summer sound(s)?
Hrmmm, the wind blowing through the tall grass down by the river =)
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Jun 14, 2017 16:45:32 GMT -6
Radley, you can do it!! I lost 90 lbs from my highest weight, with most of that in the first 2 years and without even really trying =) I'm sure if you try you'll do even better than I did. If you need any help getting started, we're here, and MH is awesome about finding resources for weight loss. smores, woooow. Absolutely WTF. At least she believed the confirmation and wasn't like those crazy ladies who think they're pregnant for like 2 years XP nevertoomanyshoes, I'm sorry that you're having such a trying week. Similar EDDs are definitely the worst. I found that I really ended up distancing myself (at least mentally) from the people around who were due around the same time. Maybe not the healthiest way to cope, but it allowed me to keep my sanity intact. notelsie, *hugs* bunnyfungo, Are you charting? I'll echo smores here and say that if things don't get back to normal soon, mention it to your doctor and see what they say.
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Post by bunnyfungo on Jun 14, 2017 17:06:47 GMT -6
Thanks Speedy and smores. I just realized this last cycle was actually only 28 days. Today is CD1. Hooray /sarcasm. So it looks like I'm getting back to normal. I've always O'd later than "normal" so I'm not really concerned about that. I'm more concerned that my LP still hasn't been longer than 9 days. |
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Post by bunnyfungo on Jun 14, 2017 17:09:51 GMT -6
I hope insurance covers everything for you Speedy! I think I would have a panic attack in your shoes. I don't do well at the dentist. And happy early birthday! |
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Jun 14, 2017 17:18:37 GMT -6
bunnyfungo, yikes to the LP days. That's a little concerning. I had gone to a consultation at a denture clinic back in December and was told that insurance USUALLY covers about 50% of an appliance. For me that is around $700, which isn't terrible, I paid more for my root canal. But I was supposed to go back in January to get my molds done, and that's the day we ended up having a huge ice storm which basically shut down the entire city, and I didn't end up calling back to make an appointment until yesterday, at which point they said that they couldn't get me in until SEPTEMBER!!! I freaked out, had a minor panic attack at work, then called my dentist who has their own people, and I'll be able to have a temporary made so I don't have to wake up without teeth, phew! Well, as long as the insurance covers it that is. Thanks for the early birthday wishes, but they're really super early  My birthday isn't until the end of September, but I'm SUPER excited because it's a big birthday, and my mom is coming up, and we're planning this amazing 1920s themed birthday party.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Jun 14, 2017 18:53:03 GMT -6
nevertoomanyshoes thanks! I am definitely going to try the smaller goals idea. smores thanks for the support! That's so sweet ❤️ notelsie thank you so much!!! @mthibodeau928 wow way to go girl! That's so impressive. I may Pm you later when I get the chance. That's a such a great goal to reach. Sorry I posted a ran. I'm going to go back through and read everyone else's updates now! I came back to 23 notifications whew.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Jun 14, 2017 19:27:16 GMT -6
***so many TW*** nevertoomanyshoes I'm so sorry about the BFNs and all the bad news + the oops pregnancy. It bothers me when people have EDDs close to what mine should have been. It must be so much worse when it's exactly the same. notelsie I'm so so sorry. So many hugs for you and your H. Christopher is a wonderful name. bunnyfungo I'm so sorry your EDD is coming up soon, *hugs* and I'll thinking of you. I hope your body gets back to normal quickly. That must be incredibly frustrating. @mthibodeau ugh many T&P's for you with your oral surgery. I'm such a wimp when it comes to my mouth, partially because numbing never works and I end up feeling everything, but mostly because having a sore/hurt mouth is just the worst. I hope you heal quickly and it isn't to expensive. |
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Jun 14, 2017 19:27:58 GMT -6
Also if I missed anybody or missed any replies to me, sorry! It's been a hectic few weeks.
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Jun 14, 2017 20:41:22 GMT -6
Radley , thanks =) I actually ended up putting on about 15 lbs over the winter, womp womp, but I'm working on getting it off again. I'm still about 55 lbs above my target weight, but I'm not unhappy with where I am now, especially because I inherited the broadness of the Dutch, so I carry it well, so to speak. The only good part about this surgery is that I get to be put completely under. I was going to go and get a molar pulled with the gas back in September last year, but the dentist (not my usual dentist) took one look in my mouth and completely refused. My teeth are so brittle that he was worried that if he tried to pull them normally they would just shatter. So now I get to go and get put to sleep and get 11 teeth out at once, yay! *sarcasm* I really really hope that my kids inherit MHs teeth, because I would feel so so horrible if they got mine.
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smores
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Post by smores on Jun 15, 2017 1:18:49 GMT -6
Speedy I hope you get good news from your insurance company about coverage! It always boggles my mind how they could not cover something that is so very obviously a need (and not something cosmetic). I had a family member recently go through a similar kind of dental procedure and insurance-wise it was a mess. Partially because she didn't figure out what was covered vs. not covered beforehand. It sounds like you are pretty well prepared going in though!
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Post by nuggetrn on Jun 15, 2017 15:53:33 GMT -6
smores I am sorry people are stupid. Good luck this cycle! Radley I have probably.missed this somewhere because I haven't been around, but HAVE to lose? Is this self imposed or did someone say this to you? I feel you on the self discipline though. After every Voss I have told myself oh! I have some time to lose weight now. Has yet to happen. Hoping to be pregnant soon again having not lost a pound. nevertoomanyshoes I am sorry you have been getting bfns So happy for your friend's son!! But ouch to the rest, I hate all of that for you.
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Anyway she finally got "confirmation" that she is NOT pregnant. Thank God that I don't have to hear about that anymore.
I hope you start cycling soon <3
My birthday isn't until the end of September, but I'm SUPER excited because it's a big birthday, and my mom is coming up, and we're planning this amazing 1920s themed birthday party.