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Post by wineallthetime on Jun 27, 2018 4:19:30 GMT -6
Especially around the water... Well yes of course. This goes without saying. But it was a 6 yo at a splash pad and I didn't get the indication the kid was being a jerk. I have no shame admitting I would go chill on my beach towel while my kid played. If I was with my kid and another kid joined us and started acting a fool I'd say something like "time for you to go back with your dad" or "okay we're playing over here now, bye." I wouldn't feel the pressure to parent other kids nor would I feel like a 6 yo can't be at a splash pad safely without being right near a parent. Once kids reach elementary school age they are regularly on the playground with a very small ratio of adults to kids and need to learn how to behave properly really quickly. They were at the beach. I'm not following my kids around the playground/splashpads and staying riiiiight next to them, but I'm also not reading a book and ignoring them. They do need some supervision. |
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inthekitty
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Post by inthekitty on Jun 27, 2018 4:41:24 GMT -6
Well yes of course. This goes without saying. But it was a 6 yo at a splash pad and I didn't get the indication the kid was being a jerk. I have no shame admitting I would go chill on my beach towel while my kid played. If I was with my kid and another kid joined us and started acting a fool I'd say something like "time for you to go back with your dad" or "okay we're playing over here now, bye." I wouldn't feel the pressure to parent other kids nor would I feel like a 6 yo can't be at a splash pad safely without being right near a parent. Once kids reach elementary school age they are regularly on the playground with a very small ratio of adults to kids and need to learn how to behave properly really quickly. They were at the beach. I'm not following my kids around the playground/splashpads and staying riiiiight next to them, but I'm also not reading a book and ignoring them. They do need some supervision. I'm truly not getting this exchange. It was mentioned they were at a splash pad. Even with a splash pad at the beach I would leave to up the kid's parent to watch their kid. Reading a book /=/ ignoring. If the kid was not playing safely I would say something or call the parent over. I never said kids don't need any supervision. I could trust my 6 yo to play nicely at a splash pad and not run off into the ocean/act up while I read a book. |
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guster
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Post by guster on Jun 27, 2018 4:45:47 GMT -6
Well yes of course. This goes without saying. But it was a 6 yo at a splash pad and I didn't get the indication the kid was being a jerk. I have no shame admitting I would go chill on my beach towel while my kid played. If I was with my kid and another kid joined us and started acting a fool I'd say something like "time for you to go back with your dad" or "okay we're playing over here now, bye." I wouldn't feel the pressure to parent other kids nor would I feel like a 6 yo can't be at a splash pad safely without being right near a parent. Once kids reach elementary school age they are regularly on the playground with a very small ratio of adults to kids and need to learn how to behave properly really quickly. They were at the beach. I'm not following my kids around the playground/splashpads and staying riiiiight next to them, but I'm also not reading a book and ignoring them. They do need some supervision. This is where I am. I'll sit on the bench at the park and keep my eye on the kids and their interactions with others, but this man was engrossed in his book at the beach when he told me that his kid was there for swimming lessons (with an instructor who apparently never showed up). The kid was nice -- a little too chatty with me for my taste, but nice. ETA: no splash pad for me just straight up beach. vino said it also happened to her this past Sunday at the spray park |
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nam2013
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Post by nam2013 on Jun 27, 2018 5:11:39 GMT -6
I was at an indoor play ground today, were there was a separate area for 1-4yo. I sat a table overlooking the area, but wasn’t in it. I was drinking coffee with my friend. I was not however, yapping away on my phone whilst working on my computer which is saw not one but two other parents do!
ETA not saying I’m never on my phone, I mean I’m on my phone right now, but it just seemed weird to me.
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klong11
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Post by klong11 on Jun 27, 2018 5:38:25 GMT -6
I just watched a video on a kid's only play area. No parents were allowed inside the fence. There was one attendant and she stayed mostly behind a booth to hand out hammers and saws. Yes, hammers and saws. I thought it was great. The kids were able to play freely. You also saw two different types of parenting. The ones who stood at the fence watching intently and those that sat a ways back with books, or laptops and just let their kids be. These kids constructed their own play equipment out of wood, tires, random materials inside the fence. One boy made a tire swing for the other kids to play on. They resolved their own conflicts. Here's an article about it. www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/america-ready-for-uk-adventure-playgrounds/ |
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nam2013
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Post by nam2013 on Jun 27, 2018 5:48:53 GMT -6
klong11 so fun, I love these kind of initiatives! Thanks for that. I was talking about it with my friend today, about letting kids resolve (within boundaries of course) their own arguments/fights etc. I think I teaches them a lot of skills. In Norway you have daycares where kids as young 3-4 go out into the woods carrying their own backpacks, with their own knives to sharpen sticks, build fires etc. Amazing!
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mwhip
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Post by mwhip on Jun 27, 2018 6:01:25 GMT -6
Sunny41 I don't know how to get pets to stop peeing on carpet, short of putting them in kennels during the day (which is hard on my 13yo dog, but what we are doing). To get the smell out, I put equal parts white vinegar and water in a spray bottle. I soak the area, and surrounding areas, and let that sit for about 15-30 minutes, then sprinkle baking soda over the area. I let that sit anywhere from 15 minutes to overnight and vacuum up. I have to do this a couple of times and the smell is completely gone. But it does not stop them from going in the same area. It's frustrating.
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wedding
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Post by wedding on Jun 27, 2018 6:17:07 GMT -6
Well yes of course. This goes without saying. But it was a 6 yo at a splash pad and I didn't get the indication the kid was being a jerk. I have no shame admitting I would go chill on my beach towel while my kid played. If I was with my kid and another kid joined us and started acting a fool I'd say something like "time for you to go back with your dad" or "okay we're playing over here now, bye." I wouldn't feel the pressure to parent other kids nor would I feel like a 6 yo can't be at a splash pad safely without being right near a parent. Once kids reach elementary school age they are regularly on the playground with a very small ratio of adults to kids and need to learn how to behave properly really quickly. They were at the beach. I'm not following my kids around the playground/splashpads and staying riiiiight next to them, but I'm also not reading a book and ignoring them. They do need some supervision. I feel like this might be kid dependent. I would never not have one eye on C at the beach but my niece who is 7 now, I would totally be ok with reading a book. |
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jewels
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Post by jewels on Jun 27, 2018 7:25:15 GMT -6
They were at the beach. I'm not following my kids around the playground/splashpads and staying riiiiight next to them, but I'm also not reading a book and ignoring them. They do need some supervision. I feel like this might be kid dependent. I would never not have one eye on C at the beach but my niece who is 7 now, I would totally be ok with reading a book. Agree. S is a rule follower and I would feel comfortable reading a book, just looking up sporadically, once I had gone over the rules with him. B, however, I can already tell... that kid is going to make me crazy. I will need both eyes and a hand on him at all times! |
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guster
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Post by guster on Jun 27, 2018 7:34:07 GMT -6
jewels, Charlie, too. He doesn't sit still for a second.
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Post by flamingo on Jun 27, 2018 7:47:08 GMT -6
klong11 That article was really interesting, thanks for sharing! I think I'm somewhere in the middle...not completely free-range but definitely not a helicopter mom. I am ok with age-appropriate risks and letting kids learn how to resolve conflict, find their physical boundaries, etc. They also learn that they *can* do things, which builds self-confidence and mental fortitude. eta: I also think a lot of this discussion is age-dependent. A 6 y.o. is very different from a toddler or even 3/4 y.o. And inthekitty I'm with you, I don't think reading necessarily equals ignoring; frankly I don't see how it's much different from a phone, and Lord knows I see plenty of parents on those.
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Post by xolastunicornxo on Jun 27, 2018 7:52:17 GMT -6
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klong11
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Post by klong11 on Jun 27, 2018 7:54:46 GMT -6
While at the beach I allowed Cadence to go within eye sight. She's pretty good at staying close, though. She was not allowed in the water by herself.
At splash pads, she pretty much has free rein. I keep an eye on her general location, but I'm sitting on a bench and not in the water with her. She is good about returning every few minutes to let me know what is going on.
She is a super social child, she will find new "best friends" every where we go, so I give her that freedom to do so. However, I will call her back to me if it looks like she is over stepping her boundaries and involving herself in a family gathering or whatnot. I don't want her being a nuisance.
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guster
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Post by guster on Jun 27, 2018 8:00:31 GMT -6
I've been letting Josie have the freedom to walk away and into the water. Mostly calls back because she wants me to watch what she's doing. She's collecting something that she immediately brings back to our chairs. I don't take my eyes off of her because she's not an experienced swimmer. I do helicopter in places that are more crowded, though.
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Sunny41
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Post by Sunny41 on Jun 27, 2018 8:05:40 GMT -6
They were at the beach. I'm not following my kids around the playground/splashpads and staying riiiiight next to them, but I'm also not reading a book and ignoring them. They do need some supervision. This is where I am. I'll sit on the bench at the park and keep my eye on the kids and their interactions with others, but this man was engrossed in his book at the beach when he told me that his kid was there for swimming lessons (with an instructor who apparently never showed up). The kid was nice -- a little too chatty with me for my taste, but nice. ETA: no splash pad for me just straight up beach. vino said it also happened to her this past Sunday at the spray park I feel like you just met my kid |
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guster
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Post by guster on Jun 27, 2018 8:08:31 GMT -6
Lol, Sunny41. I learned all about his fitbit-like watch and all of its features. I know where he lives and where he goes to school and the address of their vacation house. His cousin is named Jake. |
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inthekitty
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Post by inthekitty on Jun 27, 2018 8:15:18 GMT -6
I've been letting Josie have the freedom to walk away and into the water. Mostly calls back because she wants me to watch what she's doing. She's collecting something that she immediately brings back to our chairs. I don't take my eyes off of her because she's not an experienced swimmer. I do helicopter in places that are more crowded, though. Same here. We usually do first Fridays at the Children's Museum and it's a mad house. I make sure the girls understand every single time to stay close and come ask me before moving to a new section. We recently joined for membership so we can go when it's not insane and I'm looking forward to it. I'm grateful that Chuck E. Cheese has their one entrance lock-in because it's basically impossible for me to keep line-of-sight there, but I make the kids check-in with me regularly. |
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vino
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Post by vino on Jun 27, 2018 8:18:44 GMT -6
+1 that this is kid, age and situation dependent. I let the kids run and play, B bikes the ring path around the park and I'm not chasing him etc., but I do check on him to ensure that he is playing nice. Yes, 4/5 is a good age where they can play by themselves but they can also acts like jerks and that's when I'd be stepping in, especially when there are younger kids around. Since J is only 19 months I am around her for safety, those days are mostly done with B but I don't tune out at the park.
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vino
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Post by vino on Jun 27, 2018 8:25:20 GMT -6
Congrats flamingo! I hope everyone is doing well today. Happy belated Anniversary mamabear and peachsmama, I hope you both had a great day. |
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jewels
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Post by jewels on Jun 27, 2018 9:01:56 GMT -6
+1 that this is kid, age and situation dependent. I let the kids run and play, B bikes the ring path around the park and I'm not chasing him etc., but I do check on him to ensure that he is playing nice. Yes, 4/5 is a good age where they can play by themselves but they can also acts like jerks and that's when I'd be stepping in, especially when there are younger kids around. Since J is only 19 months I am around her for safety, those days are mostly done with B but I don't tune out at the park. The bolded exactly. It stinks that I am finally at a stage where I can relax with S at places but I still have to be on top of B. But I always try to keep an eye on S to make sure he is not being a jerk, or not encroaching on others' personal space. He tends to attach himself to random people and I don't want to annoy strangers! |
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