Intro/Questions/TW Loss

[lolacachia]

Hey all!

I am mom of a little boy who just turned 3. I experienced an early loss in February which was unexpected and stressful for my H and me. We kept trying and found out I was pregnant in April. I had thought for sure I was out because up until the day before my expected period I was getting negatives. The day before I pulled a faint squinter. Called my new OB office and they sent me for betas the next day. The day of my missed period my beta was a 14. 2 days later 46. 4 days after that 438. So they were rising beautifully, my Midwife told me everything was great and I didn't have to do anymore unless I wanted. In an effort to try and lower my stress and anxiety I decided not to and to just try and enjoy the pregnancy.

At what I thought was the 6 week mark, I had some cramping and at one trip to the bathroom some brown tinged discharge when I wiped. My anxiety returned full speed and for the next 2 days I was a mess just waiting for bad things to happen. It all passed and I felt relieved again and began to relax.

Yesterday was my first appt at what I thought was 7w4d and a dating scan. She tried with abdominal scan but my bladder was too full and she couldn't see well enough so I had to have the transvag. My heart dropped bc when she found the sac, I thought it was empty. But she got a different angle and found a little blob and then found a little heart blip. We were able to hear the heartbeat and it was 120bpm. Then she said, "you are sure on your LMP? I am only getting you at 6w." Cue me starting to worry at an appt I was hoping would bring me some relief.

So I get back to the room to talk to my midwife. The first thing was the nurse changed my DD before I even had a chance to discuss the dating stuff and said oh you are January 7 instead of December 27 now! Which threw me for a loop I just wasn't expecting. Midwife came in, she said everything on the scan looks great, my dates are probably just off bc of the miscarriage, late ovulation, late implantation, etc. said heartbeat looks great, everything is perfect. Then she asked how I was feeling. I told her mostly fine, told her about the cramping and spotting at what I thought was 6w. She said you have a tiny "implantation tear." Normal and nothing to worry about, could do pelvic rest for a couple weeks to make me feel better. Ok see you next month.

Ever since I have left the appt I'm worried and bothered by the dating issue. 11 days and changing my due date is a big deal to me. Maybe it's my AL brain and I'm being dramatic? I hope? I keep telling myself that being 6w means 120bpm is a good thing and hold onto that and be happy. I'm also worried about the SCH mostly because she didn't even call it that, but I showed my U/s tech friend my scan and she said that it was that is. She did say it was minor so I probably wouldn't even see any bleeding associated with it. But Dr Google (why do I do this to myself?!) is saying I need to take it seriously and rest and it needs to be rechecked to make sure it's absorbing and not getting bigger because if it does, it can cause serious complications.

So now I'm wondering are these things really nothing to worry about and that's why my midwife didn't make a big deal? Or do I need to go back to my old practice and get a second opinion on everything? I am just so sad because I feel no joy at all with this pregnancy like I did with F. I feel scared and anxious. And it all sucks.

And if you read all this, you are a saint and I hope you will have me.

[lolacachia]

Thank you @snow. I want to be happy but I just feel like a crazy person. I'm sorry you had a rough first tri. Do you feel less anxious now and can I ask what helped? Time and good appts?

[Deleted]

lolacachia First off, welcome! I am glad you are here and congratulations.

I think your concerns are valid ones, and I also think that there is a really good chance that your dates were off. With that being said, I don't think there is anything wrong with getting a 2nd opinion as @snow said, if you think that will help ease your worries. The 1st trimester in my experience is a butt load of suck as it is as far as symptoms themselves go, and if you feel like you can ease that worry you have, then I think that is okay. One less thing.

I had some bleeding too in my first pregnancy, and this one (one in particular that was incredibly scary), and they couldn't find a cause which was really frustrating. They put me on pelvic rest for 2 weeks but as far as everything else, I just went about my life normally, and it stopped completely at 9 weeks. Stay away from Dr. Google though, and trust your doctors and your gut. If you want that 2nd opinion for your peace of mind, then get it girl. It's okay

[Dramaphile]

Congrats and welcome! If you're unsure, you can certainly go for a second opinion, dating scans are most accurate between 8-11 weeks, so it could just be early. Since you didn't turn a test till almost your missed period, it could also be you ovulated late and so the implantation was later, which can push your due date back. Especially so soon after a loss, your cycle could very well be out of the norm.

Have you had any continued bleeding? If you just spotted for a few days and it stopped, it wouldn't be treated as a SCH, which causes more significant ongoing bleeding and may require monitoring. Lots of people experience spotting early on, and it's scary, but often not a sign of anything wrong. Ultimately, if you feel like a second opinion will give you some comfort and help calm your nerves, then there's nothing wrong with seeking one!

[lolacachia]

Thank you for responding to my lunatic ranting novel of a post ladies.

I do agree my dates could be off just bc it took me so long to pull a positive and my beginning beta was so low. I guess it just totally threw me to change my DD and have it be off that much. Everyday for 4 weeks, I have been able to focus on making it another day without loss and counting down days. So to go backwards has just really fucked up my headspace.

[jillywilly]

Congrats and welcome! I'm sorry you're having such a rough start to this pregnancy. I had a pretty scary bleeding episode between 7 and 8 weeks this pregnancy. My OB also told me that it was an SCH, but a relatively minor one. She also noted that unless I had ongoing heavy bleeding, there wasn't really a need for a follow-up on it. The bleeding went away after a few days, and all has been well since, hopefully that's the case for you, too.

Would your OB be open to letting you go in for another follow-up scan in a week or two? My baby is a FET baby, so between that and the bleeding scare, I had a lot of ultrasounds early on - the thing that settled my mind the most that this pregnancy was ok was just seeing baby growing as he should week by week. Or, if they won't and it will make you feel better, I don't see anything wrong with a second opinion.

[lolacachia]

May 15, 2018 7:39:13 GMT -6 Dramaphile said:

Congrats and welcome! If you're unsure, you can certainly go for a second opinion, dating scans are most accurate between 8-11 weeks, so it could just be early. Since you didn't turn a test till almost your missed period, it could also be you ovulated late and so the implantation was later, which can push your due date back. Especially so soon after a loss, your cycle could very well be out of the norm.

Have you had any continued bleeding? If you just spotted for a few days and it stopped, it wouldn't be treated as a SCH, which causes more significant ongoing bleeding and may require monitoring. Lots of people experience spotting early on, and it's scary, but often not a sign of anything wrong. Ultimately, if you feel like a second opinion will give you some comfort and help calm your nerves, then there's nothing wrong with seeking one!

I haven't even had any bleeding really. One time when I used the bathroom, I wiped and my normal discharge had a brown tinge. I guisss my worry is that reading that you need to be careful with a SCH because if it gets bigger it's worrisome.

I'm thinking I will start by just calling my OB/midwifes office this morning and voicing my concerns about everything. Hopefully it can be addressed and give me reassurance.

[LoisLoan]

I don't really have any advice to add as I think the other ladies here have pretty well covered it, but I wanted to say welcome and I hope you can get some reassurance soon so you are able to enjoy your pregnancy.

[lolacachia]

I called. The nurse was very nice and very understanding. She talked through everything with me.

For dating- she said the dates just truly look off. If it was a growth issue, you would usually see irregularities with the sac or baby and there weren't any.

The bleed- she said its small enough that it's not uncommon and will most likely resolve itself in a week or two.

She said it's not unreasonable to do a follow up scan at my 6/11 appt to ease my mind. And when I started crying like an idiot on the phone she said it's ok, and it's expected to be a wreck sometimes when you have a loss history.

[lolacachia]

May 15, 2018 8:39:14 GMT -6 @snow said:

May 15, 2018 7:34:35 GMT -6 lolacachia said:

Thank you @snow . I want to be happy but I just feel like a crazy person. I'm sorry you had a rough first tri. Do you feel less anxious now and can I ask what helped? Time and good appts?

I do feel less anxious now, and yup, the things that helped were time and good appointments. I honestly felt like an insane person all the way up until about the 10-12 week mark, when my doc said that risk of loss became pretty low. It was not enjoyable, I was bitter that I wasn't having a "happy" pregnancy, and I was at some points even wishing that I would just mc b/c I was so sure it was going to happen eventually and I just wanted to get it over with -- and in hindsight, this is totally standard crazy thinking after you've been through a loss and when you're having any kind of troubling symptoms. I don't really know if there is a way to avoid all the crazy thoughts, for me, I just kind of had to get through them. I can say that one other thing that helped was coming here and posting in the weekly update threads and participating on the board. It was kind of like an anchor that reminded me that I was indeed pregnant and gave me an outlet, especially since I wasn't talking about it a whole lot with people in real life.

One really hopeful thing in your post -- you saw a hb! This is such a great sign, after seeing a hb the risk of loss drops significantly. And measurements can be way off that early, so try not to focus too much on that either (especially since your dates might be off).

Omg I started crying again reading your words bc I have had those same thoughts and it made me so guilty. Thank you so much.

[summerrain]

Hi, congrats and welcome! I currently have an sch and have had several scary big bleeds that cause me so much stress. I am actually doing weekly ultrasounds since mine seems to have grown in size along with complete pelvic rest. I’m telling you this so you know you are not alone. I have a history of losses and my doctor wants to give me the reassurance that everything is going to be ok. So far my baby is growing normally (fx my appointment today shows the same). I know how scary it is to analyze every wipe and I’m sorry that you have to do that. Just ask for more monitoring or a second opinion if you feel comfortable.

As far as dating goes, I absolutely think you could have ovulated late and if your midwife seemed ok, then I would find that reassuring.

FX for a healthy and boring pregnancy for you. And I say this from a person who can’t help but dr. Google myself, but stay off of google!!

[notelsie]

Welcome and congratulations!

The ladies above have covered everything very well so I don’t really have anything new to add. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, and I know that PGAL brain is absolutely the worst.

You have a lot of support so definitely keep coming to us so we can be here for you.

I know it is so scary being pregnant again after a loss, and that doesn’t completely go away.. but it does start easing up a bit at a certain point. When I finally passed both of my loss milestones and saw baby with a good report from my NT scan I finally felt like I could breathe a little. My pregnancy has felt more real, and I’ve been able to allow myself to feel hopeful ever since. Moments of doubt and worry still pass through sometimes, but overall the pregnancy is less scary and more enjoyable. I hope that encourages you.

I hope you have a very happy and uneventful pregnancy <3

[jense927]

Welcome and congrats! I think it is very reassuring that you heard the heartbeat. I am sorry you are in such a tough place right now with the emotionally and mental stress of PGAL. I had a loss recently and even though I've had no bleeding this time I still check every time I wipe. The RE also noticed an SCH on my first US as well but was unconcerned about it.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy is boring and uneventful!

[Diordra]

Welcome and congrats! I'm glad the nurse was able to offer you some reassurance when you called.

[emilypk]

Hi and welcome! Are you feeling better about things after talking to the nurse? I hope so.

Try to stay away from Dr. Google. That guy is bad news! I should take my own advice.

[librariangirl]

Welcome and congrats!! The others hit all the points I would have so well. We’re here for you, and it’s totally normal to have a hard time being happy after a loss. I keep telling myself, “today, you’re pregnant, and that’s beautiful.” Taking it one day at a time is the only way I’ve kept it together (TW: I’ve had 3 miscarriages, the last at 12wks). 💗