Yogurt
Emerald
Posts: 11,889 Likes: 42,317
|
Post by Yogurt on May 5, 2018 12:17:04 GMT -6
@grumpychat (feel free to not answer) Did your son need an iep or 504 before he could get the aid? They are hard (very hard) to get here. It would be a long process and I know of 0 kids that have an aid without an iep. Just wondering how it is elsewhere
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 12:20:10 GMT -6
@grumpychat (feel free to not answer) Did your son need an iep or 504 before he could get the aid? They are hard (very hard) to get here. It would be a long process and I know of 0 kids that have an aid without an iep. Just wondering how it is elsewhere Technically, yes. But, he has a very good teacher right now, so she was able to convince the special ed teacher to help prior. And I didnβt wait on the school. I took the kid to a behavioral specialist/psychiatrist and took the diagnosis to the school. But, that didnβt speed up things too much. They still wanted their own eval.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 13:33:46 GMT -6
I just wanted to add, I struggle almost daily with whether or not DS1 should be fully mainstreamed.
I absolutely understand how disruptive my kid can be and I feel for his teachers and peers.
OP, I donβt think this is anything the school is taking lightly. And by all means ask whatever youβd like, just know you might get fragmented answers.
|
|
|
Post by petrichor on May 6, 2018 11:59:56 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by fikafairy on May 6, 2018 12:47:40 GMT -6
Many people covered just about everything, but speaking from a school counselor's perspective, there's a LOT that goes into sending home "official" notices of repeated incidents in classrooms. It's not just as simple as sending off an email immediately after it happens. If it was 4 times in one week, and the first week it has even happened at all, I wouldn't expect a message to be READY to send out at the end of that same week, especially if the situation was handled appropriately by all involved.
What I would expect to happen is this:
- parent(s) of disruptive child are called in for a meeting to discuss supports and begin planning for evaluation IF they consent, or call some kind of meeting with outside supports - any child who was directly affected (hit with an object or shoved by disruptive kid) gets a minimally informative message/call related ONLY to their child - if warranted, the teacher might send home a form letter after a couple more incidents that details how they handle crises of all kinds in the classroom - timing of all of this certainly wouldn't happen at the end of the day Friday, except for handling the immediate behavior. Earliest MIGHT be Monday.
It's a combination of privacy laws, trying to keep the other kids moving despite the issue, and trying to keep parents as calm as possible. Calls and emails are handled as they come in, but no one is by any means owed information if their kids weren't directly involved. It can create a HUGE alarmist movement that may actually make things far worse than they are.
Sounds like you're talking to him in a way that's really empathetic and helpful - and that's really all you can do, is help YOUR kid handle the situations that come up.
|
|
Yogurt
Emerald
Posts: 11,889 Likes: 42,317
|
Post by Yogurt on May 7, 2018 19:20:55 GMT -6
So I had a day today involving a fully included kid on my caseload. No kids were hurt, only adults. The student left the room, so the class wasn't evacuated and class was at recess for part of it, but couldn't go back in for 1 hour+.
Now a parent of a friend of the kid is asking the mom of the kid what happened and she doesn't know what to say to them and she has asked me for advice. The class would have seen him spit on adults, call adults names and hit adults before he eloped from the room.
My kid was having a hard time and sometimes he makes unsafe choices? None of your business?
I'm not sure what to write back to this mom's email. She is trying to keep the relationship going between her son and the friend who's mom is asking questions.
I also don't want to give too much advice here.
|
|
kitchen
Gold
Posts: 928 Likes: 4,667
|
Post by kitchen on May 7, 2018 20:24:31 GMT -6
So I had a day today involving a fully included kid on my caseload. No kids were hurt, only adults. The student left the room, so the class wasn't evacuated and class was at recess for part of it, but couldn't go back in for 1 hour+. Now a parent of a friend of the kid is asking the mom of the kid what happened and she doesn't know what to say to them and she has asked me for advice. The class would have seen him spit on adults, call adults names and hit adults before he eloped from the room. My kid was having a hard time and sometimes he makes unsafe choices? None of your business? I'm not sure what to write back to this mom's email. She is trying to keep the relationship going between her son and the friend who's mom is asking questions. I also don't want to give too much advice here. I think rather than saying the kid makes unsafe choices, the kid is sometimes unable to stay safe? It's so unlikely that it's legitimately a choice with a child. So the mom of the kid involved in the incident is asking you what to say to a mom of a friend of her kid? If I've got it right, validate the mom that she doesn't OWE anyone an explanation, give her some lines she can feed to the other mom about how to speak compassionately about the child.
|
|
Yogurt
Emerald
Posts: 11,889 Likes: 42,317
|
Post by Yogurt on May 7, 2018 20:33:30 GMT -6
kitchen, yes you have it right. The mom of the kid who acted out is asking me for advice as to how to deal with other parents questioning her. She wishes to maintain her privacy while keeping good relationships with these parents. I think you've given me some good direction. Thanks
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on May 30, 2018 14:13:15 GMT -6
So I just wanted to post an update on this.
We've had a couple more incidents where DS has had to go to the nurse because he was kicked or pushed or whatever. Nothing major but we were notified by the school about 2 and then DS mentioned like another 2 times. (All same kid).
The principal just called me to let me know that DS was at the nurse again today because the same student drew on his back with marker and scratched him through his shirt (he's fine).
I was surprised because the principal then said that he's sure I've been told about other incidents by DS and that they are aware of them and have extra support in place in the classroom for the remainder of the school year. He also assured me that DS wasn't being targeted.
So...just a follow up really. I was surprised that he said as much based on what you guys said here but I guess there has been enough going on π€·
But anyway! Thank you for all of the advice previously too. Sounds like the school is on top of it and is getting the kid some help.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,694
|
Post by McBenny on May 30, 2018 14:22:29 GMT -6
thechickencoop I work with mental and everything but you are taking this shit way better than me. No child deserves to be habitually tormented by the same child at school everyday.
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on May 30, 2018 14:40:38 GMT -6
thechickencoop I work with mental and everything but you are taking this shit way better than me. No child deserves to be habitually tormented by the same child at school everyday. I mean, it is what it is right now. DS doesn't seem affected by it at all. Like, I'll ask him, hey, so you had to see the nurse today? And he'll just kind of off the cuff say, oh, yup. I had to get an ice pack. So, that's comforting at least that he's not coming home feeling tormented. And I did actually ask today if DS was being targeted and he assured me that it was many other kids as well. I'm sure I would feel differently if that wasn't the case.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,694
|
Post by McBenny on May 30, 2018 14:48:22 GMT -6
thechickencoop I work with mental and everything but you are taking this shit way better than me. No child deserves to be habitually tormented by the same child at school everyday. I mean, it is what it is right now. DS doesn't seem affected by it at all. Like, I'll ask him, hey, so you had to see the nurse today? And he'll just kind of off the cuff say, oh, yup. I had to get an ice pack. So, that's comforting at least that he's not coming home feeling tormented. And I did actually ask today if DS was being targeted and he assured me that it was many other kids as well. I'm sure I would feel differently if that wasn't the case. Again, I am glad you're cool with it. I am not ok with someone putting their hands on my child that often point blank. Especially when it's the same person so a problem has been identified and there is a clear trend so...you're going to do more than send my kid to the nurse. KOKO, I guess I am extra.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on May 30, 2018 14:52:45 GMT -6
I am 100% on board with being sensitive to the hard position that the school and this child are in. I am not at all cool with the idea of this happening at the expense of the health/wellbeing of another child. The injuries have been minor so far, thankfully, but there shouldn't be any more of this type of injury.
|
|
|
Post by Rusty Red on May 30, 2018 15:05:59 GMT -6
Yeah, I get the confidentiality and everything, and the evacuations, I'm fine with all of that. When my kid gets "attacked" that many times, though, I'd be a little WTF.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,694
|
Post by McBenny on May 30, 2018 15:11:07 GMT -6
I don't know Pete.
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on May 30, 2018 15:33:19 GMT -6
I am 100% on board with being sensitive to the hard position that the school and this child are in. I am not at all cool with the idea of this happening at the expense of the health/wellbeing of another child. The injuries have been minor so far, thankfully, but there shouldn't be any more of this type of injury. I'm hoping there are no further incidents. DS said that there are actually "two teachers that help him when he makes bad choices" amd they they haven't been there very long so, while he did get hurt today, I'm hoping that's the last of it. I mean, if it still continues even with aides, then I might revise my feelings.
|
|
gussie
Amethyst
Posts: 6,331 Likes: 18,769
|
Post by gussie on May 30, 2018 15:33:37 GMT -6
I mean 5 incidences in a few weeks is a lot, I'd probably be asking more questions. I'm glad it doesn't seem to be getting to your DS, though.
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on May 30, 2018 15:36:38 GMT -6
I mean 5 incidences in a few weeks is a lot, I'd probably be asking more questions. I'm glad it doesn't seem to be getting to your DS, though. So, the way DS described some were that he was like, running around, acting out, maybe pushing people along the way. Not necessarily walking up to DS and shoving him. π€· I mean, kindergarteners, but, I tend to believe how he's describing it.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,694
|
Post by McBenny on May 30, 2018 15:41:04 GMT -6
I second that McBenny . Screw privacy laws. Thatβs not stopping my kid from being hurt. And to all the people who acted like thechickencoop was out of bounds for wanting information;wut???! Iβd be burning shit down. How can you not know why some parent in this situation would be pissed? Because I donβt believe that. I am not even worried about privacy laws. I don't need a name but you mean to tell me my child comes home and tells me every injury he or she gets is by the same child?!!!!!!!!!! I give no fucks as to other kids getting the same. I don't send mine to school for that shit. No child deserves that.
And yes, if people would stop sweeping it under the rug when a kid hurts other children evaluations and other should would happen much faster. I have parents at this moment who have been told since the beginning of the school year that their child is out of control not once in a while damn near all the time and they still have not initiated shit privately or through public measures and school lets out this week.
|
|
gussie
Amethyst
Posts: 6,331 Likes: 18,769
|
Post by gussie on May 30, 2018 15:44:09 GMT -6
I mean 5 incidences in a few weeks is a lot, I'd probably be asking more questions. I'm glad it doesn't seem to be getting to your DS, though. So, the way DS described some were that he was like, running around, acting out, maybe pushing people along the way. Not necessarily walking up to DS and shoving him. π€· I mean, kindergarteners, but, I tend to believe how he's describing it. That makes sense.
|
|