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Post by misskilljoy on May 4, 2018 16:33:24 GMT -6
shan-ah-doo, I've had similar feelings when speaking to parents about their kid's behaviour. It's so heartbreaking. I hate it. I know not all parents of kids with behavioral issues are trying to find solutions, but many are. They are often feeling defeated and worn down. As their kids get older, some of these parents also start to get scared of their kids, which makes everything that much harder. It fucking sucks for everyone, not just the kids who are evacuating their class.
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Post by thechickencoop on May 4, 2018 16:35:18 GMT -6
This. And this is all based on the word of a Kindergartner and they can be a little overdramatic at times. Op comes off very “not my preshus” here. How so? This is the first year I have a kid in school. Hearing that all of a sudden the entire class has to leave the room four times in one week has me slightly taken aback. That's why I was asking if I was being OTT . I see now that this is more common than I thought. 🤷
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on May 4, 2018 16:36:53 GMT -6
I shouldn't have said pissed at controlling him really, because I'm not. I get that they can't really restrain him. I guess I'm just more annoyed that no one was notified of the disruptions. AND I was speaking with the principal today and all he said was that they were playing lightsabers and it got out of hand. I wish I would have asked specifically about the issues because I guess that's true that he wouldn't necessarily bring it up like, "oh, by the way, while playing star wars, your DS was hit and they also had to evacuate because he wouldn't STOP throwing and hitting". But the issues aren't your business, is the point. You were informed of the part that was your business. It's just a hard situation. Imagine if you are this other kid's mom. You want the principal giving all the other moms the scoop on your kids business? If you had brought it up to him he probably would have told you that student safety is always a priority, and given you no more information. I'm sorry, I know it sucks.
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Post by thechickencoop on May 4, 2018 16:40:28 GMT -6
And I'm not "Oh my poor DS" when obviously the kid in question has some major stuff going on. I don't mean it to sound like that. I've spoken with DS about "G" and he said that he's friends with him even though some other kids have told him not to be. We've compared how he has trouble calming down emotionally sometimes at home with how G might have trouble too and sometimes he may not know what to do besides being physical. It just is new and...frankly sucks.
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Post by sarahandben108 on May 4, 2018 16:43:10 GMT -6
+1 to what all the other educators have said. I’m also an elementary teacher and we must remove the rest of the class in this situation.
Also, there are confidentially laws. Schools will not tell you what’s going on, if the child has a diagnosis, or what plan is in place for him/her.
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on May 4, 2018 16:45:46 GMT -6
It really does suck. And this is why we need to prioritize mental health in elementary schools (and beyond) and provide therapists, social workers etc to help develop healthy students who are able and available to focus on academics.
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msdrdg
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Post by msdrdg on May 4, 2018 16:46:05 GMT -6
This happened several times last year in DS's 1st grade class. DS could tell me about it because he is not bound by confidentiality. The teachers and administrators could not speak of it other that to say "there was an incident, it was contained." It is safer for all involved if the rest of the class leaves the room. The child in DS's class would scream and yell and throw computer monitors around. It was dangerous for the teacher to even try to approach him, let alone attempt to restrain.
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Post by shan-ah-doo on May 4, 2018 16:48:04 GMT -6
Op comes off very “not my preshus” here. How so? This is the first year I have a kid in school. Hearing that all of a sudden the entire class has to leave the room four times in one week has me slightly taken aback. That's why I was asking if I was being OTT . I see now that this is more common than I thought. 🤷 Your overall annoyance about it. I’m saying that’s how it comes off, not saying you definitely are. Gavel. I get that it’s new, and you’re allowed to be taken aback about it, but I feel situations like this need a whole lot of compassion. I’m not trying to be hard on you.
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Post by GhoatMonket on May 4, 2018 16:48:52 GMT -6
I shouldn't have said pissed at controlling him really, because I'm not. I get that they can't really restrain him. I guess I'm just more annoyed that no one was notified of the disruptions. AND I was speaking with the principal today and all he said was that they were playing lightsabers and it got out of hand. I wish I would have asked specifically about the issues because I guess that's true that he wouldn't necessarily bring it up like, "oh, by the way, while playing star wars, your DS was hit and they also had to evacuate because he wouldn't STOP throwing and hitting". No, you don't. The only way to remove him and not the rest of the class is to restrain him. You were notified when you child was directly injured. That is your business. The rest is not. And you would have been told that had you asked.
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Post by thechickencoop on May 4, 2018 16:53:05 GMT -6
+1 to what all the other educators have said. I’m also an elementary teacher and we must remove the rest of the class in this situation. Also, there are confidentially laws. Schools will not tell you what’s going on, if the child has a diagnosis, or what plan is in place for him/her. No, I definitely wouldn't expect that. Of course they can't give out that info.
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Post by thechickencoop on May 4, 2018 16:57:28 GMT -6
Like, they're 6. They talk.
I guess I just thought we would get some sort of email or whatever saying that there were some incidents this week that they're aware of and handling. 🤷
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Post by thechickencoop on May 4, 2018 16:58:20 GMT -6
Thanks everyone though for your responses and insight.
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Bluebird
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Post by Bluebird on May 4, 2018 17:26:41 GMT -6
I understand OP’s concern about the frequent evacuations, and I would also be wondering what was going on and concerned about the disruptions if it were my kid’s class.
I know nothing about the restraint protocols and intervention techniques for educators, so it’s definitely eye opening to learn about that from the professionals here. It makes me especially sad that schools don’t have the resources to provide more individual support and help for kids who need it. I can’t imagine how challenging it must be for the teacher in the class, not to mention the child’s parents.
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sweptaway
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Post by sweptaway on May 4, 2018 19:19:53 GMT -6
I appreciate the info from PPs with experience in situations like these. There's a lot of good info in here.
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2018 20:23:42 GMT -6
I can understand where OP is coming from. When DDs school was put under shelter in place protocol, the parents were informed.
I would rather be notified by the school about an incident like this - in this case multiple incidents - than by my child. I don’t need to know the personal details, just that something had happened and perhaps some guidance on how to address it with my kid.
Honestly if it were an isolated incident, I’d probably feel differently. But 4 in a week with no communication and I’m going to wonder WTF is happening there. That’s not to say that I’m not sympathetic for the child and what he’s going through, just that it would spur some questions, especially as the parent of a newly school age child with no experience in this stuff.
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on May 4, 2018 20:51:36 GMT -6
I can understand where OP is coming from. When DDs school was put under shelter in place protocol, the parents were informed. I would rather be notified by the school about an incident like this - in this case multiple incidents - than by my child. I don’t need to know the personal details, just that something had happened and perhaps some guidance on how to address it with my kid. Honestly if it were an isolated incident, I’d probably feel differently. But 4 in a week with no communication and I’m going to wonder WTF is happening there. That’s not to say that I’m not sympathetic for the child and what he’s going through, just that it would spur some questions, especially as the parent of a newly school age child with no experience in this stuff. Is shelter in place like a lock down that effects the whole school? We do tell parents about that, like if its cops serving a warrant in the neighborhood or when a storm was causing falling trees. I think it gets sent in a phone message blast Eta, If a student caused the lock down, which actually I can remember this happening last year, and I don't know if parents were notified that time. Maybe, but I am positive it would be a very vague message.
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2018 21:26:25 GMT -6
I can understand where OP is coming from. When DDs school was put under shelter in place protocol, the parents were informed. I would rather be notified by the school about an incident like this - in this case multiple incidents - than by my child. I don’t need to know the personal details, just that something had happened and perhaps some guidance on how to address it with my kid. Honestly if it were an isolated incident, I’d probably feel differently. But 4 in a week with no communication and I’m going to wonder WTF is happening there. That’s not to say that I’m not sympathetic for the child and what he’s going through, just that it would spur some questions, especially as the parent of a newly school age child with no experience in this stuff. Is shelter in place like a lock down that effects the whole school? We do tell parents about that, like if its cops serving a warrant in the neighborhood or when a storm was causing falling trees. I think it gets sent in a phone message blast Eta, If a student caused the lock down, which actually I can remember this happening last year, and I don't know if parents were notified that time. Maybe, but I am positive it would be a very vague message. They had someone hop the fence onto campus and refuse to leave so they shut down the school and locked all the classrooms in. I would totally expect any communications from the school to be vague - they can’t and shouldn’t disclose any confidential details. But I can totally understand a parent being alarmed about 4 evacuations in one week.
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on May 4, 2018 22:06:04 GMT -6
For extreme behaviours we would always remove the class before physically restraining a child. Why would the other parents be told about this? The other kids left the room. The leave the room many times a day for many reasons. There are a multitude of challenges in a classroom and parents aren’t going to be told about them because it’s none of their business and we aren’t allowed to tell them.
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doublestuf
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Post by doublestuf on May 5, 2018 6:53:06 GMT -6
They had someone hop the fence onto campus and refuse to leave so they shut down the school and locked all the classrooms in. I would totally expect any communications from the school to be vague - they can’t and shouldn’t disclose any confidential details. But I can totally understand a parent being alarmed about 4 evacuations in one week. [/quote] But a "shelter in place" is caused by an adult making a bad decision, in which yes you should know about. This is way different than a child having an issue in a classroom. If the school sent a note home saying due to behavior problems of another student your child has been removed from the classroom several times, parents would be nosy AF-it just invites more questions, unwarranted advice from parents about what the school should do, and unreasonable demands from concerned parents that the school needs to meet to "protect" their child. ETA-not sure what I did to the quote but it was supposed to show your last quote @k3am.
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Post by GhoatMonket on May 5, 2018 6:57:57 GMT -6
Is shelter in place like a lock down that effects the whole school? We do tell parents about that, like if its cops serving a warrant in the neighborhood or when a storm was causing falling trees. I think it gets sent in a phone message blast Eta, If a student caused the lock down, which actually I can remember this happening last year, and I don't know if parents were notified that time. Maybe, but I am positive it would be a very vague message. They had someone hop the fence onto campus and refuse to leave so they shut down the school and locked all the classrooms in. I would totally expect any communications from the school to be vague - they can’t and shouldn’t disclose any confidential details. But I can totally understand a parent being alarmed about 4 evacuations in one week. That is not even remotely comparable.
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doublestuf
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Post by doublestuf on May 5, 2018 7:02:03 GMT -6
It seems like several of you have mentioned as much, but guys your kids are undoubtedly going to see some shit when they come to school. I say this as someone who teaches 3rd grade in Anywhere,USA in a very average place. And that is not directed at you thechickencoop. They are almost without a doubt going to see some kid throw/push over classroom furniture, run out of the classroom or away from the teacher, have an emotional meltdown involving screaming/yelling/hiding under a desk, etc etc before they leave elementary school. Teach them to be resilient, compassionate, and empathetic. Because at the end of the day, no one can really control anyone else's behavior. We can try to manage it, and trust that we are using every resource we have to do so.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 8:59:25 GMT -6
They had someone hop the fence onto campus and refuse to leave so they shut down the school and locked all the classrooms in. I would totally expect any communications from the school to be vague - they can’t and shouldn’t disclose any confidential details. But I can totally understand a parent being alarmed about 4 evacuations in one week. That is not even remotely comparable. Definitely not a 100% exactly the same comparison. But something out of the ordinary classroom stuff that could be really scary or confusing to the other kids and explanation/communication is helpful. I can think of exactly 0 times that I was exposed to something similar growing up, so wanting to have a discussion (to the extent they can provide information - again not looking for confidential details) about it doesn’t seem crazy to me, even if it’s apparently very commonplace now.
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on May 5, 2018 9:09:31 GMT -6
So in the example where we did do a lockdown because of a kid, which I can now think of 2 examples, I really don't even think the parents would need to know.
Also, there are different levels of lockdown, we have 3. The kid situations put us on the mildest lockdown, which is move your lockblocks so the doors are actually locked and limit people in the halls.
In one situation a tk student had eloped (ran away) and was running through classrooms, in the front and out the back, so teachers all pulled their lock blocks and that was it. Students probably barely noticed.
In the other situation a student had eloped from the day class and was being aggressive on the playground towards adults. It delayed the start of recess, or they held indoor recess.
Neither of those, even though they were lockdowns, really seems worth mentioning to all parents.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 9:19:51 GMT -6
This whole thread is just a reminder of the difficulties that teachers face daily. It’s more than just teaching, its threat assessment, managing kids with all different kinds of needs, worrying about lawsuits, etc. that the general public doesn’t think about.
And I don’t know a single teacher who gets paid their worth for all that they do.
Until this thread, I’d never heard the term or thought of a classroom evacuation process beyond fire/earthquake emergencies.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 9:25:46 GMT -6
Like, they're 6. They talk. I guess I just thought we would get some sort of email or whatever saying that there were some incidents this week that they're aware of and handling. 🤷 Yeah, DS1’s former school sent out an email when he had an incident. They didn’t name him, but we all knew it was him the minute we read the content. It started a chain email with parents demanding answers and insisting to know if we had our kid under control. It’s not a good feeling and I see both sides. Getting help or a para for your kid the public school system takes months. Even with a medical diagnosis nothing is immediate. Yes, I’m biased. Lol
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on May 5, 2018 10:45:42 GMT -6
Like, they're 6. They talk. I guess I just thought we would get some sort of email or whatever saying that there were some incidents this week that they're aware of and handling. 🤷 Yeah, DS1’s former school sent out an email when he had an incident. They didn’t name him, but we all knew it was him the minute we read the content. It started a chain email with parents demanding answers and insisting to know if we had our kid under control. It’s not a good feeling and I see both sides. Getting help or a para for your kid the public school system takes months. Even with a medical diagnosis nothing is immediate. Yes, I’m biased. Lol Yes. Even the most bland “there was an incident and it is being handled” email/note home gets parents talking and “demanding answers” that leads to ignorant gossip about said child, parents demanding the child “be dealt with” (expelled), parents of other children wanting meetings which are a waste of time as we can’t tell them anything about the child in question etc etc. all things that do nothing to help the situation or the child.
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on May 5, 2018 10:45:59 GMT -6
@grumpychat I'm sorry that must have been very hard to experience.
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on May 5, 2018 10:50:27 GMT -6
Also, even if this student who is having behavior got an aid, this stuff can still happen, frequently. The 1:1 aid can help de-escalate situations before the kid has a "blow out", but sometimes (many times) the aid and teacher just can't prevent it.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2018 11:12:52 GMT -6
Also, even if this student who is having behavior got an aid, this stuff can still happen, frequently. The 1:1 aid can help de-escalate situations before the kid has a "blow out", but sometimes (many times) the aid and teacher just can't prevent it. That’s exactly it. The aide is a godsend and when DS1 looks like he might get into trouble, she takes him for a walk in the hall to decompress. However, there’s nothing about it that’s truly preventable and we just hope for the best.
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Post by shellbell on May 5, 2018 11:49:24 GMT -6
I get what you're saying. I think it's fine to touch base with the teacher reporting what you're hearing from your kid, but I would expect to not get a very detailed response. But I understand wanting to make sure your kid is safe (and sounds like he is) and also that he is able to learn in his environment. I am a teacher, and I would absolutely reach out to verify what my child was saying.
That said, I wouldn't hesitate to evacuate a classroom if a student was creating a dangerous situation. It's much better to get the class in the hall or to the cafeteria/library/whatever so the child can be handled appropriately.
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