budders
Amethyst
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Post by budders on May 1, 2018 18:36:39 GMT -6
I’d been doing okayish with all of this until today. I’ve been very emotional and almost numb, and I’m getting anxious about sufficiently taking care of two kids.
I think the biggest issue I’m having now is the never-ending anticipation and too much time to think. I need the baby to just be here already so I can stop overthinking it all and just live it and realize it’s going to be okay.
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itsmemeg
Platinum
Posts: 2,021 Likes: 3,979
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Post by itsmemeg on May 2, 2018 3:00:04 GMT -6
Just wanted to update you all on how I’m feeling a few days into having more than 1 child.
My heart definitely grew and has plenty of room to love another one as much as I love my first. I still have a stronger bond with my first because well, I mean it’s only been 5 days or so with the new LO and we just simply haven’t had time to bond as much yet while I’ve had 3 years to bond with DS.
I do feel guilty that I’m unable to do as much with DS right now due to my c/s recovery but I think DS is handling it very well. I try to really focus on him when he is home from daycare and give him as much attention as I can which i think helps. He understands mommy has an ouchie on her tummy right now and can’t do a lot physically but that I’ll be better soon.
So all that is to say, it’s going well for us and I’m confident you all will find it the same.
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Post by mrsweasley on May 7, 2018 14:04:31 GMT -6
Everything is hitting me really hard right now and I'm super emotional. I cried this weekend, which is rare for me. I'm mostly concerned with all the stuff I have left to do because I have a feeling this baby will come early and I'm 33.5w. I've been trying to ask for help but I could definitely use more than I'm getting.
DS will be 14 in a couple weeks and he's basically said we'll be able to ignore him more when the baby is born. He sees that as a positive but it makes me sad
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jessila
Gold
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Post by jessila on May 7, 2018 16:28:04 GMT -6
Everything is hitting me really hard right now and I'm super emotional. I cried this weekend, which is rare for me. I'm mostly concerned with all the stuff I have left to do because I have a feeling this baby will come early and I'm 33.5w. I've been trying to ask for help but I could definitely use more than I'm getting. DS will be 14 in a couple weeks and he's basically said we'll be able to ignore him more when the baby is born. He sees that as a positive but it makes me sad My brother and are I are just short of 14 years apart. He played a big role in taking care of me early on and I had him wrapped around my finger. |
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Post by tinydancer on May 10, 2018 20:34:35 GMT -6
I've been having all the feels about this too. It's not that I'm worried I won't have enough love for them both, I'm just worried I won't have enough time to give each of them. Plus H, plus the dog, plus work, etc. etc. Sometimes I feel like I can barely keep up with everything as it is. I feel like my toddler is having some sort of anxiety about it too because he's been acting out more than usual (or maybe he's just 2?) and having trouble sleeping. He will talk about the baby (he thinks it's in my belly button) but he doesn't seem at all excited about meeting her or about becoming a big brother. I know it will all work out but I feel for him. To end with something happy, here's a pic from our mommy & me mini session. Attachment Deleted |
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Risscaboobs
Sapphire
Fuck is by far my favorite F word.
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Post by Risscaboobs on May 13, 2018 8:04:42 GMT -6
So, two days into two, and we’re trying to adjust. Lexi is a bit whiny, but she could also still be tired from having to be woken up to go to the hospital MOTN on Thursday night/Friday morning. She is obsessed with her brother and wants to touch him and help all the time. I am feeling a lot of guilt about not being able to hold and snuggle her like i always did though because of having Owen perma-attached to my boob. I love him very much, but it is.... strange? Disconcerting? How much more I feel for her. But I’m assuming it’s because she’s 2.5 and he’s 2 days. I just need to catch up and not expect the bond to be entirely equal. I hope that makes sense and doesn’t sound completely awful because I love him so so much. It’s just a weird feeling for me right now. MH is doing awesome stepping up and doing more for Lexi than he used to, which is also making me feel guilty. They lose patience with each other a little faster than I’d like because he doesn’t do things the “right way” to her (the way mommy does it) and she doesn’t listen to him (welcome to my life lol). Hoping they find their groove soon, but that at the same time, I’m not replaced as her everything.
Just rambling. Not sure how much sense I just made Haha.
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Post by Madymoiselle on May 13, 2018 9:25:14 GMT -6
Hugs Risscaboobs. I remember feeling guilty when I could not feel that ‘love at first sight’ with my DD. My love definitively grew with time and now I am scared to not love another baby as much as her either. But time will help and your heart will grow bigger, I know mine did. |
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itsmemeg
Platinum
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Post by itsmemeg on May 13, 2018 10:00:13 GMT -6
Risscaboobs I feel the exact same way. I love E so much but I’ve had 3 years to bond with DS and it’s only been a couple weeks with E. I am getting better but that first week or so I really mourned the loss of my one on one time with DS. Once I’m able to lift him again i think it will be easier. But yes, I feel like all my time is spent under a nursing baby. It seems she always wants to nurse during the times I want to do our special things with DS (like bath and bedtime routine). It’s been an adjustment and DH is very supportive and reassuring but i won’t lie, I have cried more days than not since we’ve been home because of missing time w DS and then DS is also getting used to DH doing stuff and now requests him over me...cue all the tears. Hang in there mama!
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budders
Amethyst
Posts: 6,301 Likes: 32,270
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Post by budders on May 13, 2018 13:59:37 GMT -6
Risscaboobs I've almost been feeling the opposite and feel exceptionally guilty. L is such an easy baby so far, and my time with him is relaxing and pretty low key. V is an excessively active toddler who is also struggling with big emotions right now, and I find myself relieved when he goes to daycare or someone takes him for a bit. He was my whole world until 5 days ago, and now I have so much guilt for finding it so hard to spend time with him or deal with him sometimes. I know that a lot of it is the exhaustion and the never-ending cycle of breastfeeding with a newborn. I'm trying to preserve as many of our routines as possible, and hopefully once I can be away from the baby for more than an hour, we can spend more quality time together and get back on track. I'm also struggling with H losing patience with V quickly. It adds to my guilt that he's not able to take a step back and recognize that V just needs a lot of love and hugs and some grace while all of our relationships are changing.
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itsmemeg
Platinum
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Post by itsmemeg on May 13, 2018 18:07:17 GMT -6
budders I could’ve wrote that. While I’m missing my time wth DS and feeling guilty about not spending time with him...he is being quite the 3 year old (normal toddler stuff) but my patience has severely decreased since I’m stuck under a nursing baby 24/7 and sleep deprived. Weekends are rough when he is home from daycare. I honestly tip my hat to those who stay home with their kids and newborn all day by themselves. I just don’t know if i could do it. I mean I know I could but it seems so daunting.
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Post by daffodilsandcoffee on May 14, 2018 14:41:47 GMT -6
My almost 4 year old is getting a lot of screen time lately. I’m sad that preschool ends next week. It’s not so much that I need the break from him as much as it eases the guilt of him not doing much active and playing with others. He loves his sister thankfully. I think it’s helpful that I’m not breastfeeding because my H and I can divide and conquer more evenly, but it’s still hard.
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