TTCAL 4/10

[sammysam]

The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.


If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.


**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**



How are you doing?



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):



Diagnosis (if applicable):



Updates/questions:



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : 

[Foxy]

Hi All, which I think is just me... quiet board. I think I am finally ready to introduce myself and start participating. I am new to HIH. I am 33, DH is 35.

How are you doing?
I am just ok, my stock answer when the truth is actually not that great.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):TTC currently WTO almost to the TWW.

Diagnosis (if applicable):
I am not sure if this is necessarily a diagnosis but I had an ectopic pregnancy at 9 weeks in Nov. tw story of ectopic* It was almost missed which is the craziest part of my story. I had begged my Dr office to see me because I had thought I had a UTI, had an U/S the Dr told me everything looked great, heard and saw the heartbeat and sent me on my way. Over that weekend I had a lot of pain and called the on call DR who assured me that UTIs can cause bladder spasms, and to just make myself comfortable. That Monday at my dating appointment I was told it was actually ectopic and had to go in for surgery where they removed my LO and my tube. Worst day of my life. end tw* so here i am now, 6 months later still ttc

Updates/questions: cacaw cacaw anyone out there?

Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :
I know I wasn't pregnant for very long but I really miss it and would do anything to feel that way again.

[Yogurt]

Haha, hi Foxy! I am sorry for your loss. Sometimes I post and here and tfas.

Anyhow, welcome! I hope your stay is short.

[sammysam]

Foxy you are not alone here. There are still a bunch of us (most of us post more regularly on TFAS which is the only reason this board seems quiet) but I'm sure others will jump back in here too:)

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how terrible it must have been!

We found out about our loss at 10 weeks but my body decided it wasn't ready to let it go so held on to it until 13 weeks when I had a severe hemorrhage, almost bled out, and ended up in the hospital for emergency surgery (and a nice long hospital stay). We are now on cycle 7AL of TTC. It took 8 cycles to conceive our loss so I feel like we've been TTC forever.

Welcome...but I'm so sorry this is a place you find yourself:(

[sammysam]

How are you doing? Irrationally angry and irritable the last couple of days. I don't know if it's the TTC, seeing so many babies everywhere, the stupid weight I've gained since our loss, or just hormones. But I was super ragey yesterday. And I'm never ragey.



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC



Diagnosis (if applicable): NA



Updates/questions: Blah. Cycle 7. I'm hoping if thus cycle doesn't work that cycle 8 ends up being the magic number for us again. At least my cycles are short so I'll know in a week if we're on to cycle 8.



Debbie downer (a place to vent): I've become very blah about the whole process. I'm not even expecting a BFP at any point now and I will be honestly shocked if we ever get one. And I think I'm getting sick again. My throat has been sore the past couple of mornings.

[charliefox]

Welcome Foxy, I'm so sorry for your loss and the loss of your tube. As others have said,


How are you doing? It's CD3, the beginning of my cycle is always the easiest emotion-wise

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): unexplained 2IF

Updates/questions: Starting our second IUI cycle, this time it's medicated.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): As I said, the first half of my cycle is always the easiest. It's easy to focus on TTC and not on previous losses, but the TWW is horrible and I know I'll be even worse this time since we're upping our game in regards to treatments. Plus the ILs will be here right around my fertile window. I've hear a lot of stories that some people O later on meds and I'm kind of hoping that's true so we don't have to deal with it while they're here (no one knows we're TTC).

[sammysam]

charliefox I hope the timing ends up working out for you. Good luck this cycle with the meds! Hopefully this will end up being the magic ingredient.

I'm still waiting for a call from the RE to set up an appointment. I don't even care if the appointment ends up being 6 months from now...I just want to know that the referral went through and that they haven't forgotten about me.

[Foxy]

Thank you ladies for welcoming me. I'm trying for my first but would like to participate. I'm really sorry that all of us are here. It's just so heartbreaking.
SammySam - I know that feeling exactly about not expecting a bfp. I'm 6AL right now and it seems this month that all hope is gone. Which i realize sounds crazy - I'm only 6 AL... but we've had amazing timing and it feels like even with temping, charting, opks, it doesn't matter because I can't control what ovary releases an egg. I think having that in the front of my mind during this process is just draining.

Ps. I have no idea how to tag someone on the tapa app.

[sammysam]

Foxy I'm so sorry you're feeling the same way. I found after the loss all my emotions and the urgency to get pregnant just went into overdrive...so the longer it takes the more hopeless you feel. I totally get it. Also, you are welcome to come join in on TFAS as well. People rarely mention their LOs and we all mostly obsess about symptoms, charts, and just support each other through all the crap. If it doesn't bother you, you should come play over there too. I know everyone would love to have you there as well.

I really hope things turn around for you and that you graduate out of here quickly. No matter how impossible it might feel. I have everything crossed for you!

[sammysam]

Stupid symptom spotting and temp trends are actually making me feeling hopeful this cycle.Which is stupid because I'm only 7dpo and which sucks because it's going to make AF that much harder to take when she shows. It's like every month I so hope it's going to be the month but deep down I don't actually believe it's going to happen.

Plus I had a dream on Friday night that AF showed up at 6 dpo while I was on a trip with students and it was like the hemorrhage all over again. I had just come back from a school trip when I hemorrhaged the first time. Not sure why my subconscious is messing with me.

[Yogurt]

Hugs sammysam. I'm 8dpo and symptom spotting too

[sammysam]

Yogurt The ridiculous part is that cycles I've actually been pregnant I had no symptoms (just sore bbs) so I don't know why I bother. I mean my only symptoms now are sore bbs and nausea...which I get every cycle.

[charliefox]

hugs, sammysam, the hope/not believe back and forth is rough. I get it every TWW too.