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Post by fosterlove on Apr 8, 2018 6:29:21 GMT -6
My boys will be 4 next month. They are constantly talking about guns or shooting. We are in Michigan so there is definitely a major hunting culture. Both of their grandpas conceal carry, which they don’t know, obviously. B also has her CPL but there are no guns in the house.
They would turn a stuffed dog into a “gun” if I would let them. I have told them that i don’t want them to talk about guns. When they get older their Papa or Kapuna can teach them how to responsibly shoot a gun.
I HATE HATE HATE GUNS. Today one of them told me that they were eating their breakfast to get big and strong so that they could shoot a gun.
Is this an age thing, or am I just giving it too much attention. I don’t know if I should continue to address it or try to ignore.
Help!
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Post by ambha83 on Apr 8, 2018 6:44:03 GMT -6
Hello. My son will be four in July and is definitely interested in guns and shooting. He idolizes my father and knows that he hunts with a gun. Whenever my son says “shoot” we say “blast”. Guns are now blasters in our house. Well, the things he turns into guns. We don’t have toy guns because I’m not a fan. We just try to redirect a lot. Since he’s an only child he likes to play with us and he knows that his father and I don’t like to play blaster games.
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trueblue
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Post by trueblue on Apr 8, 2018 6:45:12 GMT -6
It’s an age & stereotypical boy thing. At dinner last week with 3 boys, 7, 7, & 10, the mozzarella sticks were turned into guns. I gave up fighting against it and just roll with it now. I have age appropriate conversations about the dangers of guns and why it’s not appropriate to pretend to use weapons in certain places and at certain times.
We have lived in an anti-gun state and a very pro-gun state & don’t allow violent games/media so it’s definitely not related to the prevalence of guns In my children’s every day life.
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Apr 8, 2018 6:47:30 GMT -6
I have a “point it, you lose it” rule.
I’m very open with C1 that I hate guns. I took him to March for our Lives and we talk about how if he ever sees a gun, he needs to leave right away and get an adult. He knows he’s not allowed to say “gun” when he’s playing. I won’t buy gun toys and if there are gun toys in anything we get, I throw them out. I just reinforce that guns are very dangerous and we never play with them or pretend to play with them. If I catch you doing it, your game is getting shut down.
Related, my kid has recently started saying Donald Trump is an idiot. I don’t know where he picked it up. (I swear I try not to talk like that in front of him.) He will say, “Donald Trump is an idiot. I bet he has guns.”
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Post by justbecause on Apr 8, 2018 6:48:24 GMT -6
My four year old has picked up the gun talk from preschool. Mostly in terms of hunting.
I’m cutting back on any show with guns and talking about when it’s appropriate to talk about and when it isn’t.
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wakemom
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Post by wakemom on Apr 8, 2018 6:50:28 GMT -6
My son is two and has turned toys into guns for the past several months. We don’t stop him in our home because it’s just what he wants to play and I’m not against guns, but I do find it interesting since none of my girls ever played this way.
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gussie
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Post by gussie on Apr 8, 2018 6:51:31 GMT -6
It’s an age & stereotypical boy thing. At dinner last week with 3 boys, 7, 7, & 10, the mozzarella sticks were turned into guns. I gave up fighting against it and just roll with it now. I have age appropriate conversations about the dangers of guns and why it’s not appropriate to pretend to use weapons in certain places and at certain times. We have lived in an anti-gun state and a very pro-gun state & don’t allow violent games/media so it’s definitely not related to the prevalence of guns In my children’s every day life. This is my DS too. We don’t have guns, he doesn’t watch or play anything with guns, yet he still wants to pretend he has a gun. We have a couple shooting type things in the house, that blast “lasers” and don’t look like real guns. I don’t try to forbid it all together, because it seems like something every boy in his class is interested in, so I think it’s best in our case to set boundaries around it and have conversations about the dangers of real guns. We are in Michigan as well, but there aren’t many hunters around here, so that really doesn’t come up. |
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gussie
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Post by gussie on Apr 8, 2018 6:52:41 GMT -6
Oh and like Cher, if he points a pretend weapon at anyone, he loses it. |
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Post by GhoatMonket on Apr 8, 2018 6:57:32 GMT -6
Related, my kid has recently started saying Donald Trump is an idiot. I don’t know where he picked it up. (I swear I try not to talk like that in front of him.) He will say, “Donald Trump is an idiot. I bet he has guns.” And you are correcting that, right? That is not a good line of thinking for anyone to have. |
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CeeBug
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Post by CeeBug on Apr 8, 2018 7:02:55 GMT -6
My 4 year olds picked up gun play from school. I hate it. They know that they are not allowed to play guns, and I have tried to reiterate to them that they are dangerous. The come home now telling me that when their friends start playing guns, they go play something else (I don't know how accurate this is).
I would just keep doing what you are doing. I also don't think this is a stereotypical boy thing as my dd acts exactly like my ds.
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Apr 8, 2018 7:06:22 GMT -6
Related, my kid has recently started saying Donald Trump is an idiot. I don’t know where he picked it up. (I swear I try not to talk like that in front of him.) He will say, “Donald Trump is an idiot. I bet he has guns.” And you are correcting that, right? That is not a good line of thinking for anyone to have. Correcting what? That Donald Trump is an idiot or that he has guns? |
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Post by charlotte on Apr 8, 2018 7:07:50 GMT -6
This may be unhelpful but there is a Dateline mini-series called “My Kid Would Never Do That”, and there is an episode on guns. It sets up different scenarios and makes suggestions about how to best talk to your kids about guns. It kind of debunks some common ideas about what to say to kids so that they would “never” want to play with a (real) gun. I saw it on Hulu this week, if anyone’s interested.
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hawkward
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Post by hawkward on Apr 8, 2018 7:10:29 GMT -6
Our policy is similar to Cher 's for losing toys, etc. We treat it like other "adult" things, like cursing or alcohol. We talk about who can and can't have guns since they see them often (mostly on base), and what to do if someone that isn't trusted has a gun (trusted people are H, my dad, and security forces on base when their guns are holstered). We've also talked about how guns are necessary tools sometimes- DS1 knows my father has shot predators trying to get to his farm animals before, and he knows that they are for protection on base. A lot of our friends think I'm too uptight about it (and occasionally H gives me an eye roll too), but there are too many guns in their lives for me to be breezy about it. I want there to be a clear line that all gun play in any form is off limits. My other consideration is that at his school any gun talk/play is taken very seriously with immediate consequences, so we want the message to be consistent between home and school. |
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Post by GhoatMonket on Apr 8, 2018 7:15:46 GMT -6
And you are correcting that, right? That is not a good line of thinking for anyone to have. Correcting what? That Donald Trump is an idiot or that he has guns? Your child is saying anyone that owns guns is an idiot. Sweeping generalizations are not a good thing. |
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Apr 8, 2018 7:17:39 GMT -6
Correcting what? That Donald Trump is an idiot or that he has guns? Your child is saying anyone that owns guns is an idiot. Sweeping generalizations are not a good thing. That’s not what he said. And I have talked about my parents essentially have an arsenal so obviously we’re not teaching that. But ok. |
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macic
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Post by macic on Apr 8, 2018 7:33:29 GMT -6
My almost 4 year old girl also turns things into guns and goes “pew pew.” We don’t own guns or watch really anything with guns. She does have water guns- but it’s winter and we she hasn’t seen those in months. I’m sure she picked it up at daycare.
I’m also not exactly sure how to talk to her about them other than “we don’t shoot guns” and “we don’t point guns at people”. I also tell her that she can pretend she is playing with a water gun and getting wet.
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Post by petrichor on Apr 8, 2018 8:25:49 GMT -6
I'm beside myself with this with my almost-3-year-old.
He turns everything into a gun and talks about "shutting" (shooting) a lot.
We have no guns (real or pretend) in our home.
There are a few with the Lego guys but they don't actively play with them.
He doesn't go to daycare, so no exposure there.
The other night he was scared during a storm so he pretended to shoot the thunder with his hockey stick.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2018 8:50:12 GMT -6
I am in this struggle. I hate guns and we don’t allow any gun play. We don’t even allow water guns. He does have some legos with guns but we have even talked about taking those away. We never talk about guns and shut down any time he does.
But he’s completely obsessed and I am beside myself.
Poof some details.
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Post by tincupchalice on Apr 8, 2018 9:06:11 GMT -6
We have guns. H and I are both firearms instructors. We do not allow playing guns. Even the two "toy" guns we have stay locked up unless we're working on safety rules with him - but my son will make a gun out of anything. So, we went with if my 4 year old wants to play guns, he has to ask permission, have an adult supervising, and then he has to follow all of the safety rules (like, never point at a person, have a safe "target" set up, etc).
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valiente
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Post by valiente on Apr 8, 2018 9:08:49 GMT -6
We have guns. H and I are both firearms instructors. We do not allow playing guns. Even the two "toy" guns we have stay locked up unless we're working on safety rules with him - but my son will make a gun out of anything. So, we went with if my 4 year old wants to play guns, he has to ask permission, have an adult supervising, and then he has to follow all of the safety rules (like, never point at a person, have a safe "target" set up, etc). We're not here yet, but I'm going to remember this. |
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Apr 8, 2018 9:34:10 GMT -6
@juliagulia I think you’re doing great. I struggled with finding a balance for a while. For me, C1 can come ask me anything about guns and we talk about them but he knows I don’t tolerate playing with them at all. After Parkland, I think he definitely heard things in school because he had questions that were much more specific. I struggled to answer them because ugh, God forbid he has to employ my answers in real life one day. But I think talking about it with them really helps. Eta: I throw out the LEGO guns. No fucks given, lol.  |
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Post by theseaword on Apr 8, 2018 9:47:04 GMT -6
DS2 pretends things are guns constantly. He’s 4. We have no guns, he knows no one in real life with a gun. I think it’s a phase. We don’t let him play shooting, either. I’m ok with the ninja weapons.
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tinyjoys
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Post by tinyjoys on Apr 8, 2018 10:33:28 GMT -6
Part of it is age & also Michigan, plus what they see in the media (even accidentally, since we don't really watch the news when they're around). We just spent a lot of time reiterating that guns aren't toys, that we don't play guns, we don't touch guns, etc. My big kid (7) really wanted squirt guns for the pool or those pool noodle guns that shoot the long stream ( like these) and we have allowed those, but they're used only in the pool, not running around the backyard & if he uses them outside of that, they get taken away for a period of time. And really, they only come out when H is in the pool with him. We don't do Nerf or anything similar. |
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Sunny41
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Post by Sunny41 on Apr 8, 2018 13:31:36 GMT -6
We have been addressing this with our 4yo too. Particularly the playing cops at school. No idea who started it but I talk to him about cops not shooting bad guys but arresting them and that cops are helpers not shooters. We talk about death being permanent and how sad we would be if someone was dead or shot dead.
I love the previous posts about gun safety and I will now be incorporating that. And the idea of saying blast instead of shoot.
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Post by shambam08 on Apr 8, 2018 15:46:16 GMT -6
We have guns in the home and they see DH’s everyday he works (holstered in his gunbelt). We have been stressing gun safety since they were tiny. The first thing we taught and constantly reinforce is that if they see a gun to immediately get an adult and to never ever touch a gun. Our youngest (age 5) started talking about shooting her sister and we sat down and had a serious conversation about guns killing people. It’s such a hard subject to get through to them because the concept of death is so abstract to a young child.
We don’t allow toy guns that look like guns but we do have some “water squirters”. We don’t do nerf at this point.
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beepers
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Post by beepers on Apr 8, 2018 17:40:51 GMT -6
tincupchalice so he asks to “play guns” and then has to abide by “real gun” rules? I like this idea. My 2 yo son points his finger and “shoots” things, but it seems like the sound he makes when his fire engine is hosing off a fire rather than a gun shooting. I’ve not asked him what he’s doing, I’m not sure he even knows.
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bazi
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Post by bazi on Apr 8, 2018 17:51:42 GMT -6
I have a “point it, you lose it” rule. I’m very open with C1 that I hate guns. I took him to March for our Lives and we talk about how if he ever sees a gun, he needs to leave right away and get an adult. He knows he’s not allowed to say “gun” when he’s playing. I won’t buy gun toys and if there are gun toys in anything we get, I throw them out. I just reinforce that guns are very dangerous and we never play with them or pretend to play with them. If I catch you doing it, your game is getting shut down. Related, my kid has recently started saying Donald Trump is an idiot. I don’t know where he picked it up. (I swear I try not to talk like that in front of him.) He will say, “Donald Trump is an idiot. I bet he has guns.” I don’t have anything useful to add on the gun topic, but whenever DD sees him or hears Trump’s name, she says “he is not a nice friend”. She came up with that all on her own. Perceptive kid. |
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Apr 8, 2018 18:15:33 GMT -6
I have a “point it, you lose it” rule. I’m very open with C1 that I hate guns. I took him to March for our Lives and we talk about how if he ever sees a gun, he needs to leave right away and get an adult. He knows he’s not allowed to say “gun” when he’s playing. I won’t buy gun toys and if there are gun toys in anything we get, I throw them out. I just reinforce that guns are very dangerous and we never play with them or pretend to play with them. If I catch you doing it, your game is getting shut down. Related, my kid has recently started saying Donald Trump is an idiot. I don’t know where he picked it up. (I swear I try not to talk like that in front of him.) He will say, “Donald Trump is an idiot. I bet he has guns.” I don’t have anything useful to add on the gun topic, but whenever DD sees him or hears Trump’s name, she says “he is not a nice friend”. She came up with that all on her own. Perceptive kid. I was telling my girlfriend about it at brunch and she’s a teacher for young kids. She was saying she hears the kids talk about him and how they parrot things they hear their parents say. So even if I try not to talk about it in front of him, it’s natural he has an opinion based on what his friends say. Guess my kid hangs out with a bunch of liberals.  |
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rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Apr 8, 2018 18:29:02 GMT -6
I don’t have anything useful to add on the gun topic, but whenever DD sees him or hears Trump’s name, she says “he is not a nice friend”. She came up with that all on her own. Perceptive kid. I was telling my girlfriend about it at brunch and she’s a teacher for young kids. She was saying she hears the kids talk about him and how they parrot things they hear their parents say. So even if I try not to talk about it in front of him, it’s natural he has an opinion based on what his friends say. Guess my kid hangs out with a bunch of liberals. Mine has seen him speak. She thinks he’s mean and angry.  |
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Pistol
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Post by Pistol on Apr 8, 2018 18:33:51 GMT -6
We have guns in the house (in case that’s not obvious), but they are locked away. My kids have seen us target practice (we did some target shooting out at the farm this summer when my whole family was there but they were kept safely away) one time and that’s it. Even before that they would make things into guns.
If it becomes a gun, it is taken away. We talk often about how guns are not toys and that they are dangerous. I just keep pushing that if they see one then they need to tell an adult and not touch it.
Once they are older we will start some basic safety lessons with them. I kinda like PP’s idea of letting them “play” guns with a toy gun but still following real gun safety rules. I need to discuss it with H to see if it might allow them an outlet and reduce the amount of things they turn into guns.
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