Brain dump

[meeggaannw]

Hi friends, I'm sorry I have been MIA, my life has been a mess.


I lost my mom in February to cancer, she'd been fighting for a long time. On Christmas she went to the hospital for swelling in her brain, a complication of her radiation, and while she did come home we never really got her back.
So I've been a bit of an emotional mess.

I've been trying to help my dad with his business and his finances and everything that my mom did and it's incredibly overwhelming.

In march we had good friends come into town from Canada and we got a babysitter and went out for a night on a double date, It was a good break from my grief. We found like a secret speak easy club and we all indulged a little more than we should have, being responsible adults who had to get up the children and the next morning.

Well fast forward to this week, my period is late. I woke up this morning and tested and it looks like I am pregnant with baby number three. I really have no idea how to feel. I wasn't ready even if my life wasn't mess that it is but now I don't know. I can't imagine having a baby without my mom.

Sorry, I know that was heavy. I just miss this community and an outlet for how I'm feeling and relationship with other moms with my same parenting struggles.

[carrots]

Oh my goodness, big hugs friend. I’m so so sorry for your loss. I know you and your mom were so close and my heart hurts for you. Please take all the time you need to process this pregnancy. It’s ok that there are a lot of tough emotions there and completely understandable. Check in here however often you want but know you have support and cheerleaders when you need them.

[Lakes]

Big hugs meeggaannw. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom.

Give yourself lots of grace with your feelings. Finding out you’re pregnant is a lot, planned or not. How are you feeling physically? I know you and I are were horribly sick with our pregnancies. Please take care of yourself while you process everything.

[peaseblossom55]

So many hugs. I can't imagine how hard this all must be. Gentle congrats on #3. It must be so hard.

[judyblume14]

meeggaannw, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. My mom also had cancer. And, similarly, there was a time where she went to the hospital, and when she came home, it wasn't really her anymore.

I can imagine how overwhelmed you must feel - working your way through your grief, while trying to help your dad manage his life/work. You've got to let yourself feel your feelings.

I want to say this though. My mom passed away shortly before my wedding. Before I even knew how much I wanted to be a mom. And before I knew how much I wanted her help in being a mom. I often want to call her and ask her what the hell I should be doing. Especially in those rough moments when I'm feeling like a crappy mom. But, deep down, I'm like 89% I'm NOT a crappy mom. And I'm doing it without her by my side. But sometimes, I catch myself doing things exactly the way she did. And I smile, and it makes me realize that I'm not doing it without her, after all.

I want to hug you so tight right now. Because it's so unfair. But you can do it.

[ellabee]

Oh my gosh meeggaannw - big big ((hugs)) for you. That's so much to deal with. I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom.

Be gentle with yourself. You have so much on your plate. It's overwhelming to process all of those emotions at once, so give yourself time.

We're here for you if you need us.

[meeggaannw]

Thank you all so much for the support. I hate even typing it because it just makes it so real. I miss her every day.
judyblume14 I've been thinking about you a lot because I know you know this feeling. I'm so sorry, it's not a club I wish we were a part of.

Y'all are good people. Thank you

[judyblume14]

meeggaannw, take care of yourself and lean on us. We are here for you