Seriously. Can I just say dh had the nerve to get upset with the kids this morning bc they were noisy and awake at 6am? And he’s TIRED. I cannot express my irritation. I refrained from telling him to go eff himself.
DH asked me what we were going to do today and I cried for an hour.
I think the reality is sinking in that I'm probably not going into labor on my own and I have to wait until Wednesday at least. I'm sick over it. My phone won't stop buzzing with people checking in. I'm burning through mat leave. I'm a physical and mental disaster. All my PGAL anxiety is coming back with a fury. Like this "let nature take its course" thing is nice in theory but it's never really worked out for me in this department and I really really am regretting not having a conversation with my OB about induction sooner.
DH asked me what we were going to do today and I cried for an hour.
I think the reality is sinking in that I'm probably not going into labor on my own and I have to wait until Wednesday at least. I'm sick over it. My phone won't stop buzzing with people checking in. I'm burning through mat leave. I'm a physical and mental disaster. All my PGAL anxiety is coming back with a fury. Like this "let nature take its course" thing is nice in theory but it's never really worked out for me in this department and I really really am regretting not having a conversation with my OB about induction sooner.
I'm just a mess. 😞
I would call tomorrow and ask about moving it up and having an NST.
DH asked me what we were going to do today and I cried for an hour.
I think the reality is sinking in that I'm probably not going into labor on my own and I have to wait until Wednesday at least. I'm sick over it. My phone won't stop buzzing with people checking in. I'm burning through mat leave. I'm a physical and mental disaster. All my PGAL anxiety is coming back with a fury. Like this "let nature take its course" thing is nice in theory but it's never really worked out for me in this department and I really really am regretting not having a conversation with my OB about induction sooner.
I'm just a mess. 😞
Sending you big hugs friend ❤️ The end of pregnancy is a mindfuck over and over. It’s not you. You aren’t a disaster. You are just a normal, million month pregnant woman. ❤️❤️
DH asked me what we were going to do today and I cried for an hour.
I think the reality is sinking in that I'm probably not going into labor on my own and I have to wait until Wednesday at least. I'm sick over it. My phone won't stop buzzing with people checking in. I'm burning through mat leave. I'm a physical and mental disaster. All my PGAL anxiety is coming back with a fury. Like this "let nature take its course" thing is nice in theory but it's never really worked out for me in this department and I really really am regretting not having a conversation with my OB about induction sooner.
I'm just a mess. 😞
I would call tomorrow and ask about moving it up and having an NST.
They won't. It's their policy not to induce before 41 at least. I foolishly didn't think to learn more about that until it was too late.
I did have the NST last week and it was okay thankfully
Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Mar 25, 2018 13:30:47 GMT -6
I’m sorry calendula, can they schedule you something so you at least have a definite end date (even if they make it at 41 weeks- I hope you don’t need to wait that long!)?
The end of pregnancy is just an emotional roller coaster on top of the physical challenge ☹️
Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Mar 25, 2018 13:34:03 GMT -6
I would like this March baby to listen to his eviction date but I’m starting to feel like I’m gonna end up with an April baby.
Going to the OB in a couple of hours to maybe make a plan? I’m 41 weeks this Friday but that’s a public holiday so not sure the hospital will want to schedule anything. I’m also not sure if I’m ready to schedule something, I don’t want to be induced but I want this baby to come before 42 weeks.
Hoping I can at least get a membrane sweep today, was locked up too tight last week to get one.
They won't. It's their policy not to induce before 41 at least. I foolishly didn't think to learn more about that until it was too late.
I did have the NST last week and it was okay thankfully
Seriously??
(I’m upset for you....)
Yeah 😞
And I sort of get it. 6 years ago I was very into letting the body do its thing and resisting intervention and all that. But things have just changed for me. I'm in a rough spot mentally and while the struggles of IF and my previous losses have faded a lot since 20 weeks, it's just catching up with me again and I have these moments of panic like "I want off this train NOW". Logically I know the baby is fine. And 3 more days is not that long when I've waited 4 years.
Sorry for the word vomit. I just don't know where else to put all this.
Post by katietopaz on Mar 25, 2018 15:22:53 GMT -6
Hugs calendula I think your feelings are completely understandable, and this is a safe place to vent. These last days of pregnancy are such a mind game, even without everything else you have on your mind, and I'm sorry that you have more waiting to do. I really hope that things kick into gear super soon, and if not, then your doctor can make a plan with you quickly. Hang in there ❤️
I'm so sorry calendula. It's so hard just waiting and I can totally get that lack of control triggering your anxiety. I hope this baby comes soon for you!
BFP: 9/3/98, DS born 5/7/99 Uterine Surgery: 9/11 Married DH: 12/10/11 TTC: 12/2011 ~~3 Angel babies 2012, Always in my ❤~~ Failed IF treatments in 2013 Break cycle: BFP: 8/25/13, DD born 5/2/14 September 2014: TTC again ~~2 Angel babies 2014, Always in my ❤~~ BFP: 3/14/15, DD2 11/17/15 ~~2 Angel babies 2017, Always in my ❤~~ BFP: 7/27/17, EDD 4/9/17, It's a boy! 🌈
