Anger management!!

[thinkchocolate05]

What are your favorite strategies for calming yourself down when you're very sleep deprived and your baby(ies) or spouse are driving you mad?

After yelling at my toddler last night and accidentally waking up the baby and then lying on the floor and yelling, "I just need to sleep for a few hours!" I realized that I need to practice better anger management. I am also hoping that once I am better about it, my toddler will copy me 😜. I have been reading some articles and love the idea of walking away or doing deep breathing. I've never systematically put these techniques into practice, though. What works best for you?

(For context, dh was away part of last night, baby h was still sick, and the toddler was constipated and literally hanging onto me whining about his poopy for two hours but refusing to sit on the
potty 😭)

[pennylane]

Hugs! I think we’ve all had those days. I usually deep breathe and count to 10. I employ that technique with the toddler too! Or I give him the iPad while baby naps, so I can do something for myself. I’m home with the kids by myself most of the time, so I get how frustrating some days can be.

Today I went for a drive with the kids. Both fell asleep, and I got to listen to what I wanted in the car.

[pennylane]

I think self care plays into this a lot. You can’t pour from an empty pot and all that. I am admittedly bad at taking care of myself most of the time. I’ve been trying to come up with time to do better.

[king26]

Well tak8ng deep breaths is good and so is leaving the room to take a breather. Sometimes you just need a minute. As long as everyone is in a safe place step away. Sometimes I'll put j in crib and just go to the bathroom or grab a drink
Also when it's been a long day sometimes it's nice to just get out even with j. I do this at work too. When the kids drive me nuts sometimes I'll just walk out to my car and back on my lunch break. It gelps.

[kristyw]

Walking away is great, but with (at least my) toddler, if they are the problem because of crying for hours on end (girl, I've been there...so rough) walking away usually results in them following. I have locked myself in the bathroom for a few minutes with the water running and a towel over my ears to drown out the yelling.

A hot shower while H is in charge of the kids and the bathroom door locked so no one can ask me anything. (Apparently I have a thing with locking doors?)

And +1 to taking some time for self care. A trip to Target alone. Getting my eyebrows waxed. Getting the groceries, kid free.

I fully admit to struggling with this as well. The toddler really grates on me some days. And, my god, the sleep regression with the baby is tough. All that to say, I'm with you, momma. One day at a time. Deep breaths.

[cwbh928]

First , sending hugs. I know it’s something I struggle with especially as of late.

I know personally for me I need to find an outlet. Something that takes my mind off of what’s going on - sleep deprivation, crazy toddler, messy house, etc. I find that walking away does help. I just go to another part of the house, make sure kids are safe and not getting into anything and i just sit alone. It is a short term fix, but it helps. I also make sure I give myself time. I’m home all week with the kids. On weekends my DH makes it a point to get me out of the house, even if it’s just to target. Lol

A hot bath or shower at the end of the day also takes my nerves down. I feel I can relax and enjoy the quiet. Music is another one, I’ll tell Alexa to play music or at night I’ll through my headphones on and just zone out after boys are in bed..

[jt2378]

Great thread suggestion! For me it’s mostly the toddler that constantly tries to push my buttons and then I feel bad because I’m so damn frustrated. 3 has been the absolute worst age for us and it makes me guilty to feel that way but we barely get a break from the kids so it just reaches a point when you burn out sometimes. I need to do more self care for sure, especially now that M is a little older and somewhat “easier” lol.

[thinkchocolate05]

jt2378 Three years old has been insane for us as well!! I've heard things calm down at four, and I hope it's true. Mine is very defiant, constantly coming up with new ways to test boundaries.

I like all the ideas. It is really hard to carve out space for yourself without feeling guilty.

[yellowcat]

I just walked out in dinner. Toddlers are no joke. MH is also not really helping me lately which is a whole other thread. My go to stress relief used to be running but now I never go because either one kid is sick or I am too tired.