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Post by sweetmelissa on Jun 6, 2017 11:30:10 GMT -6
I definitely agree with everyone who mentioned wanting their body back. I have basically been pregnant, breastfeeding, or both for the past 8 years, and sometimes it is just really tough. That said, I thought I was probably done after this one, but my husband really wants another one, so I haven't ruled it out. I saw a meme recently that said once you have three, you're already outnumbered, so you might as well have six, and that seems to be my husband's viewpoint to an extent. After each of my first four were born, I knew our family wasn't complete, but with this little one, I was more ambivalent. I think I could be done, but I also think I would be very happy with one more (and honestly, from a logistical standpoint, five isn't really that much different from six). Financially, we'll be okay either way, we can configure the bedrooms as needed, but we would need a new car. For right now, we're not using any protection aside from breastfeeding (which has worked really well in the past for the first year or so), but once I get my first pp period, we're going to have a real discussion about exactly what we want.
tl;dr I might be done, but probably not; for right now, we're just kind of coasting along and letting things happen as they will.
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tallb
Amethyst
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Post by tallb on Jun 6, 2017 11:53:07 GMT -6
We both have baby fever for some reason..but neither of us can handle life right now, so not really sure why we feel that way. Like literally we don't have room, could not afford another infant daycare, nor do we have ready help now that my mom can't drive.
I am saving favorite baby clothes and gear for now, and will revisit once life settles somewhat.
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danib
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Post by danib on Jun 6, 2017 12:08:55 GMT -6
Ummmm sweetmelissa please change your poll answer to NTNP!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁
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Post by sophiegrace on Jun 6, 2017 12:09:24 GMT -6
It says I'm not allowed to vote in the poll? Not really a big deal because I'm all over the place.
If H came home today and said he was fine with one and done I wouldn't even blink. But, that will not be the case. He mentions another baby in one way or another at least once a day.
I can see another baby in the house, but the thought of another pregnancy brings intense feelings of dread and nausea to me. I still haven't gotten my period and the doctor thinks it will be awhile before I do (my lining at my OB ultrasound in April showed no lining), but I'm not sure if getting it back will affect our current game plan. Which is the super responsible, good ol' pull and pray method. H would be over the moon excited if we got pregnant again and I, at the very least, would be happy to not have to deal with the anxiety of TTCA. I honestly don't think I have it in me to do the whole temping and OPK thing. If anything we decided that we'll move to NTNP once M is not 100% dependent on me for food and is sleeping better.
Word. Vomit.
More words.
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danib
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Post by danib on Jun 6, 2017 12:16:13 GMT -6
Not sure why you can't vote sophiegrace.. That's weird. I'm not sure how I feel about temping again. On the one hand it makes TRYING really real, which is hard for IF because it amps up the hope and the disappointmemt... But on the other hand it was really nice knowing exactly when I was going to get my period (and knowing not to get excited over being "late" when I ovulated later than usual).
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Post by sweetmelissa on Jun 6, 2017 13:50:22 GMT -6
Ummmm sweetmelissa please change your poll answer to NTNP!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁 But I'm using breastfeeding as my birth control! And also, I really don't want to be the only crazy person who picked that option.
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danib
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Post by danib on Jun 6, 2017 13:54:56 GMT -6
Ummmm sweetmelissa please change your poll answer to NTNP!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁 But I'm using breastfeeding as my birth control! And also, I really don't want to be the only crazy person who picked that option.
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Cheshie6
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Post by Cheshie6 on Jun 6, 2017 14:38:12 GMT -6
I voted undecided because it took a long time to have L and I want to enjoy him! I'm 35 now and probably wouldn't even start until L was 2 which would put me at 37... I always wanted to adopt so baby #2 will probably be adopted.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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danib
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Post by danib on Jun 6, 2017 15:23:30 GMT -6
What's adoption like where you are Cheshie6? It's really difficult around here and takes YEARS (like anywhere from 4-10 years depending on the age you want to adopt and whether or not you want to take kids with behaviour/health issues).
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Post by sweetmelissa on Jun 6, 2017 15:34:46 GMT -6
danib, My husband tells me frequently that obviously I'm on board with another one since I'm not doing anything to prevent it, but I'm perfectly happy sitting in denial land for the time being.
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Cheshie6
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Post by Cheshie6 on Jun 6, 2017 15:53:36 GMT -6
What's adoption like where you are Cheshie6? It's really difficult around here and takes YEARS (like anywhere from 4-10 years depending on the age you want to adopt and whether or not you want to take kids with behaviour/health issues). Let me preface this with I've done little research! So what I think I know might not be accurate. What I think I know, is it's a matter of how you go about it (foster care/state vs private), age of the child that you want (newborn vs older), how willing you are to take on a kid with health issues/ behavior problems, etc. All play into how long it can take and how much it will cost. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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danib
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Post by danib on Jun 6, 2017 17:30:47 GMT -6
What's adoption like where you are Cheshie6? It's really difficult around here and takes YEARS (like anywhere from 4-10 years depending on the age you want to adopt and whether or not you want to take kids with behaviour/health issues). Let me preface this with I've done little research! So what I think I know might not be accurate. What I think I know, is it's a matter of how you go about it (foster care/state vs private), age of the child that you want (newborn vs older), how willing you are to take on a kid with health issues/ behavior problems, etc. All play into how long it can take and how much it will cost. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Yeah we don't have options here (private adoption here is really really rare), you pretty much HAVE to go through CYFS (our equivalent of CPS). We applied in 2010 for a baby (which means any child under 3 years) and finally got a call that we were "up for review" (review to placement takes anywhere from 6 months to a year) the same day I found out I was pregnant (got the call in the emergency room, doped up on morphine). And you're not allowed to adopt (here) within a year of a major life change so we had to put our file on hold.
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Post by classymrsa on Jun 6, 2017 19:07:10 GMT -6
Cheshie6 My aunt and uncle decided to have children in their late 30s and after trying for years decided to adopt. I believe it took 2 years for each child. They adopted two girls from China. They're now teenagers and super sweet. From what they've told me, it was a pretty rough road with both of them and expensive, but they're very glad they did it.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Jun 6, 2017 20:50:40 GMT -6
Baby Fever seems to have started! How strong is yours? What are your ACTUAL plans?
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Post by sarahwithanh on Jun 6, 2017 22:26:28 GMT -6
So I should have added that at some point I will be a foster parent. I was a foster child. I babysat for a foster family. I've spoken at foster family meetings about my experience. It's something I feel called to do. I need to be able to be devote the time to it though and so I'm not sure when. I feel very strongly that I have no businesses doing it until I'm emotionally and financially solid. They are short foster families in my area. It's still a long approval process, but there is a need and I dont believe it's anywhere near what you went through danib
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Post by cookswithwine on Jun 7, 2017 6:44:08 GMT -6
I also do not think I would temp (bbt) next go around. I'm a very analytical person so the numbers and charts appealed to me. However I think it added unnecessary pressure. I have some other pretty clear signs that I would use. Not opposed to OPKs either depending on how long we have been trying. Also you have to have sex a lot and on certain days going that route. I can't see that happening again lol. Who has the time?!
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Post by goldenlove on Jun 7, 2017 8:09:00 GMT -6
I honestly can't imagine going back to TTC sex. The concept of conceiving through normal sex is so foreign to me now anywaylol. And I definitely don't have the time or energy to go all in with temping, etc.
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waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Jun 7, 2017 8:26:44 GMT -6
After the day I had yesterday I REALLY want to change my answer to No thanks!! 😂
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dashook
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Post by dashook on Jun 7, 2017 10:51:48 GMT -6
I'm definitely going to be temping again. I didn't do it when TTC DS and I attribute a lot of the struggle we had to that, since my cycles are not totally predictable (I'd get my period every 26-34 days) and I don't have any clear ovulation signs. Conversely, we conceived quickly with D when I was temping and charting all my fertile signs.
So I will probably start as soon as my cycles return. Plus until we are ready to go all in with TTC again, I can chart to avoid, which will be helpful since I'm still not on any birth control and don't plan to be.
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Post by sweetmelissa on Jun 7, 2017 11:55:55 GMT -6
dashook, Have you ever charted to avoid before? I've thought about doing that once we're completely finished having kids because I don't want to go on hormonal birth control again if I can help it, but I'm afraid that with an unpredictable cycle, I'll still end up having sex during fertile times. Part of it is that I know from past charting that I only generally get fertile cm a few days before ovulation which isn't a whole lot of notice when sperm can live up to 6 days potentially. Has there been a discussion recently on birth control methods? I really do need to figure out something eventually, because six kids is one thing, but competing with the Duggars is not happening.
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waitwhat
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Post by waitwhat on Jun 7, 2017 12:25:39 GMT -6
Lol sweetmelissa we had a discussion going on TCF at one point. But we can start another!
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danib
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Post by danib on Jun 7, 2017 12:40:50 GMT -6
sweetmelissa if you aren't able to predict a potential O enough in advance (and don't want to risk an oops), you would use an alternate method of BC (ie condoms) until you confirm O, and then you could choose to drop the (comdoms) for the remainder of your cycle if you wanted.
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Post by sweetmelissa on Jun 7, 2017 13:22:30 GMT -6
sweetmelissa if you aren't able to predict a potential O enough in advance (and don't want to risk an oops), you would use an alternate method of BC (ie condoms) until you confirm O, and then you could choose to drop the (comdoms) for the remainder of your cycle if you wanted. Yeah, that's what I figured I'd probably have to do; I probably won't want to go through the trouble of charting just to use condoms for weeks at a time. Maybe once we're both really sure we're done, I'll be able to convince my husband to get a vasectomy; right now, he's opposed to it, but that might change in the future. I'd love to not have to worry about birth control at all at some point.
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dashook
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Post by dashook on Jun 7, 2017 13:35:24 GMT -6
dashook , Have you ever charted to avoid before? I've thought about doing that once we're completely finished having kids because I don't want to go on hormonal birth control again if I can help it, but I'm afraid that with an unpredictable cycle, I'll still end up having sex during fertile times. Part of it is that I know from past charting that I only generally get fertile cm a few days before ovulation which isn't a whole lot of notice when sperm can live up to 6 days potentially. Has there been a discussion recently on birth control methods? I really do need to figure out something eventually, because six kids is one thing, but competing with the Duggars is not happening. I never have, but danib had a good suggestion. I figure for the early part of my cycle, we will pretty much abstain or pull and pray, since MH won't use condoms. Once I confirm O it'll be fair game. We are comfortable with this plan mainly because we would never be anything but joyful over an "oops."
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Jun 7, 2017 14:06:09 GMT -6
FFWC I don't understand why some people won't/don't use condoms. I've been on BC pills & still used condoms. I did not want any accidents. Now that I can't use any birth control medication, I'll only be using condoms.
My sister got pregnant 4 times using the pull & pray method. No thanks.
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danib
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Post by danib on Jun 7, 2017 14:33:47 GMT -6
tgrimes I hear ya. I prefer not to use them, but I will absolutely use them if I'm not using another method.
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dashook
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Post by dashook on Jun 7, 2017 14:53:17 GMT -6
tgrimes and danib , you should talk to MH because he is adamantly against using condoms. If I felt really strongly about not wanting another baby at a given time then I would either tell him to either use one or enjoy the celibate life (not that it would be far off from what we currently have lol). But again, if I got pregnant "by accident" I wouldn't be upset, so for now it works for us. Edit for clarity
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starbuck
Emerald
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Post by starbuck on Jun 7, 2017 15:02:21 GMT -6
More kids? No fucking thank you.
But you all know this because it took like 2 minutes after the twins were born for us to snip MH.
We always wanted 2, we have 3, and my risk of more twins is elevated since we had these guys. Done.
I would, however, be a surrogate for a singleton.
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starbuck
Emerald
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Post by starbuck on Jun 7, 2017 15:17:56 GMT -6
And being done breastfeeding FOREVER. So much this. I'm fortunate that I had an easy time of it with both kids, but b/n a three year old and a nursing baby, I am just completely touched out. I feel like I have a kid on me literally all my waking hours, in one form or other. I really have to force myself some times to hug or snuggle with DH (his love language is touch, mine is...not.) So much this.
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kleigh
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Post by kleigh on Jun 7, 2017 16:00:11 GMT -6
More kids? No fucking thank you. But you all know this because it took like 2 minutes after the twins were born for us to snip MH. We always wanted 2, we have 3, and my risk of more twins is elevated since we had these guys. Done. I would, however, be a surrogate for a singleton. Same! Except I think my age would be a deterrent for most but I know so many people that want and can't have, I'd love to give that to someone.
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