How horrible is this name

[catladymeow]

Okay so that's a leading thread title. 

We are having a boy. My husband is SET on the name Winston. He has been for years. It's his father's name. I HATE IT. I think it sounds like we are raising some wealthy baron or something (we are not wealthy nor barons). I told him that I really didn't like it and he was actually quite hurt because he has always wanted a boy with father's name. He also says it's not fair because he let me pick DD's name when she was born (he had veto power, so I keep pointing out that it wasn't a unilateral decision). 

Is this name totally awful? I'm not even 13 weeks yet but this is already keeping me up at night! 

Full name would be Winston Alfred Thomas LAST NAME (which is a simple, British sounding name). I think the two middle names are also ridiculous but that is his father's whole name. I asked if he would negotiate on the order of the names (I like Thomas the best, followed by Alfred) but he wasn't keen.

This means a LOT to him, and I get that. But I feel like I need some neutral opinions on this name. Is it as bad as I think it is?  For what it's worth our DD's name is Elizabeth. 

[notmoose]

I don't want to say it's bad, but its not my style and I wouldn't go for it. I'm not a fan of using someone else's entire name for my child either, so that colors my opinion.

I would try to get him to agree to using the name(s) in the middle. I don't think it's fair for him to insist on a name you hate.

[anarossi]

I can understand the frustration with the name being passed down, but I'm a fan of the show New Girl and developed a soft spot for the name Winston. I think as long as your last name isn't 'Churchill', you're fine.

[benandjerrys]

I like it. I even like the name order. I get that it sounds total or something but who cares. Elizabeth is also a royal name 😉

[shadesofgold]

I like it! It's not too common but still seems classic. I would absolutely nix Alfred as a mn though. For some reason Winston + Alfred doesn't agree with me at all. Especially if you're put off by the wealthy baron angle. If MH gets to dictate the first name, especially if you don't love it, you get dibs on the mn imo.

[purple]

It's not my taste, but it is difficult when it's meaningful to your H.

For what it's worth, I am British, and apart from the Churchill family, Winston is not at all a name I would associate with either wealthy or titled families. It actually seems quite out of place with classical names like Thomas and Alfred.

[hemar2015]

I knew a Winston in high school. He was a quirky and well liked artist type. I like it.

[charlotte]

I don’t dislike Winston but I am not someone who would give my child the entire full name of someone else. TETO and all that, but I hope YH will at least compromise on some part of the name with you.

[Deleted]

I like it a lot. It sounds classic but it’s not too popular. That’s hard to do with a boy name. What’s important is how you feel about it. Try to take a step back and be open to it. If you still aren’t loving it in a few months, reasses. I like the idea of using it as a middle as a compromise.

[catladymeow]

Thanks this is all good advice. I must admit that my feelings toward his father (I don't really know him, but I have very negative feelings about some of the choices he made in life) are clouding my judgement. We have a lot of time before baby gets here so I'm going to really try to reassess.

H isn't an emotional guy and the fact that he was almost crying about how much this means to him says a lot.

[wineallthetime]

I like Winston! However, if you don't then I don't think you should have to settle. I think there are plenty of ways to honor his dad without using his full name. Hopefully your H comes around!

[joy]

When I was 40.8 weeks pregnant, my husband goes “I think we should rethink our boy name.” He said he liked Winston instead of our choice. I like Winston but it wasn’t right for that baby. I could just feel it. I said that we’d discuss after the baby was born assuming that all naming power would be mine since I had just given birth. In the end, we had a girl. Lol.

Anyway. I like Winston! I do think I’d put my foot down at his father’s eeeentire name, though. Pick a different middle name. I do get this is an emotional thing for him.

[joy]

Feb 17, 2018 6:02:26 GMT -6 wineallthetime said:

I like Winston! However, if you don't then I don't think you should have to settle. I think there are plenty of ways to honor his dad without using his full name. Hopefully your H comes around!

I don’t think he has to “come around.” Our girl middle name was going to be Margaret and I didn’t give a hoot what my husband said about it - it meant that much to me. I do think he needs to compromise, though. Perhaps not the entire name.

[wineallthetime]

Feb 17, 2018 6:07:25 GMT -6 joy said:

Feb 17, 2018 6:02:26 GMT -6 wineallthetime said:

I like Winston! However, if you don't then I don't think you should have to settle. I think there are plenty of ways to honor his dad without using his full name. Hopefully your H comes around!

I don’t think he has to “come around.” Our girl middle name was going to be Margaret and I didn’t give a hoot what my husband said about it - it meant that much to me. I do think he needs to compromise, though. Perhaps not the entire name.

I guess by come around, I meant be open to a compromise. I don't think he needs to give up the idea of honoring his dad at all, but I think there are other ways to do it since she isn't on board. Insisting on a middle name is really different than insisting on a full name, especially first name. I want to love my kids first names.

[Deleted]

Winston isn’t bad. I do prefer Thomas. I would veto using all three names. My grandfather had 3 names as well and while he was a man both my parents loved dearly, they would never have used his full name. Instead, 2 of us have different names of his (in my case, the feminine form) as MNs.

[reginaphalange8]

I don't like it at all. He had veto power for DD so why don't you? I'm firmly in the camp of giving a kid their own first name and putting all family names in the middle spot.

I think you should go back to the drawing board.

[goldenbird]

Winston and Alfred are NMS, so I can see why you're not thrilled. But, I wouldn't say it's horrible.

[goldenbird]

I don't think it's fair for him to insist on a name that you really dislike, no matter it's meaning to him or who named the first kid.

[valiente]

How about Winfred? Means friend of peace (fitting).

I’m all about the family MN and possibly-inspired-by FN.

[hangry]

I'm not a fan of Winston. I'm also NAF of copying an entire name.
I would give it some rest time and then push for Winston or one of the others as a mn.

[ladynemesis]

You hate it. So the answer is no. End of story.

[sweetc129]

I agree if you hate it, the answer is no. There are a lot of options and things to work with that hopefully your DH will compromise with. I like Thomas Winston. Is the whole name a tradition or is his father the first one with that whole name?

[catladymeow]

sweetc129 as far as I know the names are traditional family names but I don't think passing on the exact order is a thing! I like Thomas Winston too.

We decided to shelve talking about this for a few months.

[cara]

catladymeow - I don't think it's a bad name but it's NMS either. Could you try to sway the conversation to using it as a MN? That way, he can still honor his father but allow you to compromise?

[Dramaphile]

Winston is NMS, but it's not the worst, either. I would at the very least get him to compromise on the middle names, two middle names is a lot (my brother has two and basically never uses his second MN and is annoyed when he has to write it all out on official documents). Maybe he gets Winston and you can pick the middle name? It's not fair for one parent to steamroll the either entirely in the naming process. On the upside, Win is actually a pretty cute nickname. And if you get to pick a middle, then maybe the kid could go by that.

My BFF ended up not having any say on her son's name because her H was set on naming him after his deceased father, but she did get to choose the nickname (he is William, goes by Liam).

[seamonster]

If you hate it, then it's an automatic no. He had veto power over your daughter's name and didn't use it, but that doesn't mean you lose your veto power. I also don't like copying an entire name. Thomas Winston is ok if he becomes willing to compromise.