sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 8, 2018 8:22:24 GMT -6
Sorry I meant to start this earlier but I've been stupidly sick all week.
So how is everybody doing? Feel free to vent, brag, ramble, whatever.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 8, 2018 8:26:15 GMT -6
We are on our 4th cycle TTCAL. Timing was good so I'm hopeful but now I have pneumonia so I'm worried that it will screw everything up.
Other than that DD just turned 4 two weeks ago and is already acting like a 17 year old. I can't even express how much I love that kid! Our house is STILL under renovations, and we got 2 bunnies just before Xmas who are the funnest little guys ever:)
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Post by obscureference on Feb 8, 2018 12:56:40 GMT -6
Hey! I am on my 4th medicated cycle, 21st(?) cycle total TTC #4. I am very wtf about this whole thing wondering how the heck I got pregnant 3 times before. Getting older really sucks. We were out of town when I should have started OPKs so I decided to not do them this cycle and it’s a pretty nice change. Thinking I will stop using them for awhile now. sammysam I hope you feel better soon! |
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Post by beachdreamer on Feb 13, 2018 16:25:07 GMT -6
Hi! We are not currently TTC. I am leaning more toward going for #3, just have to get over my anxiety about my first two experiences. I have my annual with the OB in May so we may wait until then and see what they say. I have this irrational fear no one would treat me IF I were to be pregnant again.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 13, 2018 16:47:49 GMT -6
obscureference This is me too. I remember TTC DD and thinking that the 4 cycles it took felt like FOREVER. Then we conceived our loss after 8 cycles and that felt like forever. And now we're on cycle 5 again already and I just feel like I've been TTC forever. Gah. And I'm 39 in a few weeks so there's that.. How are you doing with the whole process this time around?
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 13, 2018 16:50:49 GMT -6
beachdreamer What were the first two experiences like? I had a terrible first...then a severe hemorrhage with my loss.. and I'm terrified that the next time around something else will go terribly wrong but I won't be so lucky:/
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Post by obscureference on Feb 13, 2018 17:18:40 GMT -6
sammysam MH and I pretty much have the sex part down to a science. That’s the only reason I can even keep going. He seems to be in it until it works and is always optimistic. I’m not sure I can just carry on indefinitely, but I also feel like we’ve put too much work in it to give up lol. I’m actually feeling a bit better now that we know the meds are for sure working and I can maybe let up on the cycle tracking a bit. I turned 41 a few months ago and I am feeling realllllllly old.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 13, 2018 17:26:45 GMT -6
obscureference Hahaha. My SO teats the sex like a job. It's all about purpose and not fun anymore. Which is fine. But he's 12 years older than me so hitting every day just doesn't seem to be working anymore for us. Last year there were cycles we went 10 days in a row without any issues...but now 13 cycles of TTC in and sometimes EOD is hard and we end up missing important days...which frustrates me. I totally get it:)
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caer
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Post by caer on Feb 13, 2018 18:24:16 GMT -6
(((Hugs))) sammysam. I’m sorry this has been such a long and frustrating journey for you. We had a similar situation TFAS - I got pregnant after 11 cycles, in the midst of IF testing, only to have it end in a MMC and then didn’t get pregnant on my own when we resumed trying - and it sucks so bad. It’s really unfair that this is so difficult for some people. Sending you lots of love and luck. I’m also sorry this has been so difficult for you obscureference. FX for you this cycle. Getting older is definitely the worst. Hi beachdreamer! 😊 |
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caer
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Post by caer on Feb 13, 2018 18:31:13 GMT -6
Checking in just to say hi and that I’m always cheering for our TTC ladies. Everything is ok here. DS1 turned 4 a couple of weeks ago and I’m digging this age so far. DS2, my rainbow, will be 11 months next week. 😭 He’s the coolest little dude and I’m just enjoying the hell out of him.
I’m 99% sure we’re done TTC for a ton of reasons: our ages, loss/IF history, lifestyle and monetary considerations, etc. But I still get a little sad when I think of no more babies.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 13, 2018 19:52:05 GMT -6
caer Awww. So happy to hear the littles are doing so well and things are good! And thanks for the support:) It always feels better knowing someone else has been where I am and now has a rainbow to show for it. I'm not sure how long I should wait this time around before looking into getting some help. I'm thinking I'll give it until July and if we're not pregnant by then make an appointment to talk to someone. My cycles are fairly short so that should give us another 7 or 8 cycles still. Gah. Don't want it to take that long.
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caer
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Post by caer on Feb 13, 2018 19:59:36 GMT -6
caer Awww. So happy to hear the littles are doing so well and things are good! And thanks for the support:) It always feels better knowing someone else has been where I am and now has a rainbow to show for it. I'm not sure how long I should wait this time around before looking into getting some help. I'm thinking I'll give it until July and if we're not pregnant by then make an appointment to talk to someone. My cycles are fairly short so that should give us another 7 or 8 cycles still. Gah. Don't want it to take that long. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer for when to pursue additional options. But FWIW, I had a really good experience with our RE. While it majorly sucked to reach that point, I found the experience to be empowering in that I finally had a little control and hope. I really, really hope you don’t ever have to worry about treatments/testing/whatever. But if you ever want to chat about it, I’m here! |
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Post by obscureference on Feb 13, 2018 20:05:34 GMT -6
caer Those are some great ages! 9 months to about 2 is my favorite. 5 is also treating us really well lol. I’ve thought a lot about being done having babies and I don’t think even successfully having another will make it any easier. No more baby firsts! My kiddos are pretty close together and it’s weird having a 2 year old but no baby. But it’s also pretty great, too. So many conflicting emotions!
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caer
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Post by caer on Feb 13, 2018 20:17:53 GMT -6
caer Those are some great ages! 9 months to about 2 is my favorite. 5 is also treating us really well lol. I’ve thought a lot about being done having babies and I don’t think even successfully having another will make it any easier. No more baby firsts! My kiddos are pretty close together and it’s weird having a 2 year old but no baby. But it’s also pretty great, too. So many conflicting emotions! Yes! I was just talking to my brother this weekend about how I love the big baby to early toddler age. So cute. I’m glad 5 is also a good age! Something to look forward to! I agree, I think even if I had 6 more kids, I would still be sad to see this time pass. As much as TTC/pregnancy/newborn life can suck, it’s also pretty special so I think it will be hard to say goodbye to this stage no matter what. |
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purple
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Post by purple on Feb 14, 2018 5:04:03 GMT -6
Hi! I posted on the TTC over 35 thread on TCF for a while. I took a break from all message boards when I was struggling with depression after my first loss in May 2016, when I almost died. I had chemical pregnancies in September 2016 and February 2017, and then we decided to stop trying for a while. And found out that I was pregnant 36 hours before heading abroad for a fortnight!
I was very nervous whilst we were away, after so much loss. When we got back I arranged a scan as soon as possible, and it happened to be on my fortieth birthday. We found out that it was twins, and also that it might not be a viable pregnancy. I had another scan the following week and then lost both babies a few days after that. We were medically benched for a few months whilst they carried out investigations. We got the all clear to start trying again in late September, and on January 4th I had a third chemical pregnancy.
This month it's two years since we started trying for a second. It took twenty-three months to conceive L and that was a lifetime at the time. Now it's been just as long, but full of losses and toddler parenting (I'm a sahp). L is a delight, she's the reason I can still get out of bed in the morning, and she's exhausting. She'll be three in June. We started paying for a day of childcare once a week, initially to help my mental health. I'm hoping to be able to restart my creative business, which hasn't really been happening recently.
We won't be looking into infertility treatment this time because getting pregnant isn't the problem. Also, the consultant in charge of the infertility clinic also leads the recurring miscarriage investigations, so I'm already under her care. (I'm in Scotland, so a very different health care system.)
I just feel weary. The monthly cycle of hope and despair is exhausting, and so many losses has had a physical as well as mental toll.
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Post by obscureference on Feb 14, 2018 6:49:26 GMT -6
purple I am so sorry for your losses. That is a lot to handle. I hope you get your rainbow soon!
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 14, 2018 10:28:17 GMT -6
purple I'm glad you found your way over here too! The ladies here are lovely and supportive:) Have they given you any possible reasons yet for your recurrent losses? Have they come up with anything that might be helpful for you or are you stuck in the "cross our fingers and hope for the best" stage? I can't imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking it must be.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 14, 2018 10:31:25 GMT -6
caer I'm also quite loving 4. DD was a bit of a terror from 3.5 until just before 4 but now that 4 has hit she is just lovely again. She even makes a point of telling me that she is so sweet now "because I am 4 so I'm a big girl now".
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caer
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Post by caer on Feb 14, 2018 10:35:40 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for your losses purple. Sending hugs and love. |
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caer
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Post by caer on Feb 14, 2018 10:36:46 GMT -6
caer I'm also quite loving 4. DD was a bit of a terror from 3.5 until just before 4 but now that 4 has hit she is just lovely again. She even makes a point of telling me that she is so sweet now "because I am 4 so I'm a big girl now". Oh, that’s adorable!! Yeah, 3 was...rough over here. Not my favorite age for sure! I’m happy to have it in the rear view mirror. |
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purple
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Post by purple on Feb 14, 2018 11:46:40 GMT -6
purple I'm glad you found your way over here too! The ladies here are lovely and supportive:) Have they given you any possible reasons yet for your recurrent losses? Have they come up with anything that might be helpful for you or are you stuck in the "cross our fingers and hope for the best" stage? I can't imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking it must be. No, no reason apart from age. Apparently once you reach forty, there's a 50% chance of miscarriage with every pregnancy. Obviously that's not a straight line, but I was forty two weeks before losing the twins. We were medically benched for three months and had loads of tests, but nothing. I'm a bit frustrated because none of the medical professionals I saw when I lost the twins told me to collect tissue for testing, and apparently they should have done. I just hope that doesn't lead to additional losses that could have been prevented. I don't think I could cope with many more losses. So many people have said that three is harder than two that I'm getting nervous. Two has been difficult because of my depression and the physical toll if recurring losses, but actually, L is great as two year olds go. She's articulate and relatively good at listening. Oh well, we'll get through it! |
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Feb 14, 2018 17:47:01 GMT -6
purple hopefully any future pregnancy will see you on the other side of that 50%! And 3 was fine for us...until the last few months. We never had the terrible twos so I'm sure it probably wasn't actually as bad as I though it was at the time. We just went through a few months where she wasn't happy with anything. Ever. But she seems to have grown out of it now. It really only lasted about 4 months so I definitely can't complain! I'm sure you won't find it to be too bad and you might not get any of that threenager stuff at all:) The hardest part with her is just that she refuses to do anything without me. Ever. But I don't mind. I figure when she's 13 she won't want mama around anymore so I'll take it all while I can get it!
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