Who have you told/how did you tell them?

[brenna]

Like the title says, but if you haven't told anyone, when will you? I feel like after our loss telling people is not very exciting since the first time our families were very excited and now they are just cautious. We have told my MIL, our daycare provider and I've told a few people at school. We are telling my parents and siblings this weekend by giving my mom an ultrasound picture and telling her we have a birthday present for her but it won't be ready until September.

[blurnette989]

So far we told the boys, FIL and SIL. My parents will find out soon via an etsy egg. Also all the ladies at daycare know because B, my 4 year old announced it to everyone during carpet time. He also told them it was twins and one was exactly like him and one was a girl. Lol.

I really want my mom to know and my dad so they can plan when they come to Portugal this year!

This is the egg we got.
www.etsy.com/listing/99714768/crack-me-pregnancy-announcement-quail?ref=shop_home_feat_1

[chriskoo]

blurnette989 that egg is super cute! I’d not heard of those before.

I told DH by awkwardly blurting it out, the moment I saw the lines on the stick, while he was half asleep. I’ve never had the self control to tell him in a cute way. I also told my BFF the day I found out, because I needed the outlet. I don’t think DH knows I told anyone, we decided we to keep it to ourselves. Oops!

We’re trying to wait to tell our parents until after the dating ultrasound. In the past we’ve told them right away but losses have taken the fun out of that for us. We’d still tell them if I had a MC but don’t want to get their hopes up first.

I’m pretty sure our close friends might already know because of my lack of drinking lately. I don’t have the energy to pretend to drink lol.

[blurnette989]

chriskoo I also have never done anything cute for mh. I have no chill in that respect.

Also I forgot itold my bff because we spent 4 days together in London for my bday. She knows me too well and there is no way I could not drink on my bday trip without her knowing. Lol.

[ftwr]

My mom, dad, grandma, boss, and daycare provider know and MH's mom, aunt, and grandpa know. We haven't told DD or any other family/friends. We just told them. There was nothing special.

[Nymeria]

So far only MH and a close friend who lives states away and doesn't know the rest of the people close to me in my life. It's awesome having a friend that I know 100% I can tell things to and they won't get shared with anyone else.

We won't tell anyone else until after the first tri NT scan. With DS we told my parents just before that point, but it was my dad's birthday and we had already had a good early scan at 7 weeks. I'm just glad I'll have had the scan before St Patrick's Day because my family goes all out and people would question why I wasn't having a beer.

[pambee]

I told DH via text because he was already at work, I don't have the patience to tell him in a cute way, ha. We each told close friends right away as well. We told our parents the weekend after we found out mostly because we were seeing them both in the same day, and we don't see DH's parents as often. I sent my sister a picture of DD in a big sister shirt because she lives out of town, and when we visit my grandma next month I'll bring that shirt as well. My first real appt isn't until the day after our trip but I really want to tell my grandma in person.

After our appointment we'll tell the rest of family, and announce on fb sometime after first tri.

[brenna]

I have never told dh in a cute way. It's usually a "oh my gosh do you see something?!" As we both squint at my pee stick and tilt it every which way haha

[brenna]

blurnette989 I love that egg idea! It's so cute! I wish we would have gotten one for my mom's birthday, oh well.

[mirabelle]

blurnette989 I also love that egg idea so sweet and simple.

My DH and sister know. As for everyone else, maybe after NIPT, or longer (anatomy scan/half way mark). I'm totally fine with making people wonder if I'm pregnant or just putting on some extra lbs for awhile. My past loss has definitely taken the wind out of my sails to tell anyone, makes me sad if I dwell on it for too long so it'll be close to the vest for awhile. My DH is anxious to tell people so they're more understanding when we miss things here and there when I'm feeling sick.

[flyliceandcoffee]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't cute with their husbands hahaha. I think it was a "I haven't gotten my period yet so I'm gonna go pee on something just so you know".

I was kinda forced into telling my parents because my mom called and was talking about planning a trip with her sisters in Oct and were thinking of stopping over in CO to visit us so I kinda had to tell them because of timing and plans haha. Other than that, I've told my previous BMBs because we're all pretty close and I could use the support. They've been there through previous losses, etc so having that extra support group helps me out a lot, especially when I'm feeling crazy about how things are going. We haven't told anyone else yet though, including work or our kids. Probably in part because of how things may turn out, but also because it's nobody's business but our own yet!

[tbirdlove]

We haven't told anyone really yet. MH told a regular customer at work and I told my hairdresser a few days ago, but no one close. I've been thinking that maybe we should tell family sooner rather than later so that I can ask for help if I need it. We'll see. To tell them I think we'll just go to visit and have DS wear a "Big Brother" shirt. For extra fun we won't say anything about it and we'll see how long it takes anyone to notice!

[wisco]

Our immediate families and close friends have known since we were about 6 weeks. They all knew we were going through fertility treatments so we shared earlier than we normally would have. It was over Christmas, so we told them all in person when we saw them. Oh, and work knows. I have been so sick that it became pretty obvious that something was up.

Definitely didn’t do anything cute for my H either. He was also alerted via text message because he was at work, and on a conference call. He knew I was going to test that morning, so he was anxiously awaiting results.

[CharlieB]

Other than my friend who called me out at brunch, we’ve told MH’s family, my other BMB knows, my boss knows, and I think MH has told his coworkers. We didn’t do anything cute to announce - like many of you, losses have taken the excitement out of early announcements for us. I was looking at etsy ideas for FB announcements last night. I’m not sure what to do, but it won’t be until at least 2nd tri, possibly after the anatomy scan.

I haven’t told my dad yet. He frowns on having more than one kid, and I’m not ready to deal with the judgment. Even though he lives 500 miles away and I’m a grown woman who doesn’t need his approval, I’m just not looking forward to that phone call.

[blurnette989]

CharlieB I'm sorry your dad won't be as supportive as he ought. Hugs.

[flutterfly88]

For DH we seem to be in a pattern of every other pregnancy I do something cute, so this time around it was "I took a test and it was positive". (Didn't plan the pattern, just how it's ended up).

We've told my mom, my H's parents (and one of their friends, who was visiting from out of town the night we announced it to them), one of H's brothers, my boss and our Bible study group. Plus H accidentally told one of his friends from HS. I wouldn't have minded about him telling her, except we hadn't told anyone yet, so I'm kind of annoyed that she was the first person to be told. We still have to tell my sisters and my H's other brother, just need to find the right time. Also have to tell my dad still.

Didn't do anything special for my mom, as I needed her to put my name in at my doctor's office, so I told her while we were both in the waiting room.

My H's parents we told after a family dinner. At funny my BIL was joking about having a bun in the oven as he hadn't been feeling well. After everyone else had left, H and I secretly put a real bun in the oven. A few minutes later my FIL went into the kitchen and saw the bun. He brought it back into the living room and asked who put the bun in the oven. He then said "not meaning anyone's pregnant". H and I started laughing and SMIL said "you 2 are the worst secret keepers" as she hadn't clued in that we were the ones to put the bun in the oven! My FIL has dried out then bun to keep (he even made a label to for the baggie he put it in 😂).

[flutterfly88]

CharlieB, I'm sorry your dad won't be supportive. (((Hugs))))

[pambee]

flutterfly88 that's so funny (and sweet) that he kept the bun 😂

[CharlieB]

So I told my dad tonight, and it went better than I thought it would! No "congrats," but no judgey comments this time. His wife texted, "I'll be hoping for a girl!" *eyeroll*

blurnette989 Did your parents get their eggs?

[chriskoo]

CharlieB I’m so glad your dad wasn’t as harsh about it as you thought. Ugh to the “hoping for a girl” text.

blurnette989 I also want to hear about how the eggs went!

We told DH’s BFF today, he’s visiting for the weekend so we went for it. Still haven’t told any family members yet. This is the longest we’ve held off telling our parents of any of my pregnancies and I don’t really like it. DH really doesn’t want to ‘get their hopes up’, but I could use some more support and people to talk to about it, and would tell them about a loss anyway so I really want to tell.

[CharlieB]

chriskoo MH had similar feelings, but like you said, I/we would need the support in the event of a loss, so we eventually agreed that it would be better to share the happy news and hope that it doesn’t come to be sad news. I think that people really like to know and generally want to be supportive of their loved ones if there is a loss. Have you talked any more about it? Maybe now that you told his BFF he’ll be more open to telling others?

[chriskoo]

CharlieB I’m going to talk to him about it tomorrow. His parents are leaving for Florida in the middle of this month and will be gone for 6 weeks, I really feel that we should tell them before they go.

[blurnette989]

CharlieB chriskoo

I totally forgot to update! The eggs went hilariously. My parents are ridiculous. My dad thought this woman from work who has been flirting with him sent him something because apparently she had been talking about Etsy at work. 😂 he texted me he was afraid to open it and I was like dad, I sent it. It's fine. Then he was super happy. Lol.

My mom sent me a picture of the egg and was like,it says "crack me". I responded, yes, so you should maybe crack it open. She said she was afraid there was something alive inside of it! Smdh.


I love my parents but they are totally Ott.

[chriskoo]

blurnette989 omg that’s too funny that your dad was afraid to open it because he thought it was something flirty from an admirer. Lol!

[brenna]

I feel the same about telling people a little earlier than what is "safe" because I was a mess after the first pregnancy and needed support from pretty much everyone.

[Nymeria]

Hahaha I love both their reactions to the eggs blurnette989!