TTCAL 1/16

[sammysam]

A bit early...

The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.


If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.


**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**



How are you doing?



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):



Diagnosis (if applicable):



Updates/questions:



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : 

[akwild]

How are you doing? I’m still here



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC



Diagnosis (if applicable): n/a



Updates/questions: if this isn’t our month I’m thinking about calling my OB to chat. My AF has been super short and super light since our loss. I want to make sure that’s not holding us back.



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I legit broke down crying last week as I was turned down because the H was sick. But now he knows how I feel sooo I guess that’s an upside.

[sammysam]

akwild I completely understand. I cried last week when SO couldn't get to the ending...and it was +opk day and had we hit that day we might have had somewhat of a chance. I ended up buying a CB advanced fertility monitor today in anticipation of this cycle not working since I just can't wear my AVA any more. I can't even wrap my head around being here for like another year or something crazy like that. I might go broke just because of TTC...

[sammysam]

How are you doing? Blah. Tearing the Internet apart to find stories of people who got a BFP after crap timing like ours this month.



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC



Diagnosis (if applicable): NA



Updates/questions: Not unless someone can tell me when I'm going to get pregnant.



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : Just feeling discouraged. Buying all kinds of things to make me feel like I have more control over this process and to replace my AVA that I am just so allergic to. And because I ate my feelings over the holidays I have a crap tonne of extra weight to lose. I started working out after new years so I'm hoping that sticks but I'm feeling like crap about myself which can't be helping anything. And I should be having a baby in 2 months. So there's that.

[akwild]

sammysam we are very much in the same boat. It just felt so whatever the first two times we got pregnant. Now there is all this stress and it sucks.

[sammysam]

akwild I know exactly what you mean. Even last month when we didn't even get close to my FW I was looking for stories of people who ovulated twice in one month (as if that could ever even be a thing). I feel like I've gone completely insane. I think it's just that we know where we were "supposed" to be right now and the thought of not being at that point any time soon is just not fathomable. Plus it took 8 cycles last time so I'm worried it will take forever or just not happen at all and that maybe the loss was our last chance.

Objectively I know I'm being ridiculous and it's something I can't control either way...but emotionally is another story. And I get pissed when I feel like SO isn't holding up his end of the bargain.

I need to stop venting. Aparently I'm just angry this cycle.

[Radley]

sammysam I’m feeling defeated about my weight as well. It’s hard and frustrating and I’m just tired of even thinking about it.

[Radley]

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched



Diagnosis (if applicable): PID related fertility issues, non alcoholic liver disease, swollen spleen



Updates/questions: H and I have decided if we’ll start trying if we get cleared in March. How is it possible that things are more up in the air than before?



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I’m starting to feel like we may just never get around to TTC again.

[charliefox]

How are you doing? I’m okay atm.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): unexplained 2IF

Updates/questions: I’m feeling better about this cycle, at least that it’s going to end eventually. After that last bought of bleeding/spotting my body seems to be back on track, based on CM. Currently OOT visiting family and just too crazy to temp but oh well.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): nada today unless you want to hear about my crazy FIL

[Yogurt]

Looks like I will be joining you here.

[Radley]

Jan 18, 2018 13:58:38 GMT -6 Yogurt said:

Looks like I will be joining you here.

Oh no. I’m so so so very sorry..

[sammysam]

Sorry Yogurt .

[sammysam]

Welp this cycle sucks. Started spotting...so AF will likely be here by the morning. Which would make this entire cycle a whopping...Wait for it...15 days long. WFT body??? Figure yourself out!!!

[akwild]

I’m so sorry Yogurt

[akwild]

I’m going crazy. My boobs hurt, but I’ve been spotting, we had crappy timing. I have 6 days until af is supposed to start. I’m going crazy.

ETA: CD1 so that would explain my crazy.

[sammysam]

akwild why are we always the same???

ETA: CD 1 for me yesterday too. At least with the crap timing we don't have to drive ourselves crazy for another week:/

[Yogurt]

Can anyone speak to chemical pregnancies and how long I should expect to bleed? I have a 3 day period usually but the obgyn just told me I could bleed for 3 weeks. Gasp. I'm ready to try again as soon as I am able.

[sammysam]

Yogurt No experience with chemicals BUT with my loss I bled for 3 week, then had a severe hemorrhage, a D&C, and then still bled for another 2 or 3 weeks after that. I'm guessing everyone is different but judging by my experience I wouldn't be surprised if it lasted for a few weeks after a chemical. But then again, at 11 weeks along I was also told it might just be like a heavy period and only last around a week and that's it. So you might not bleed much at all. I hope it ends up being closer to your norm. Sorry you're going through this. I know how hard the process has been for you and I completely understand the heartache and frustration of trying for so long, the amazing happiness of FINALLY getting pregnant, the total heartbreak of losing the pregnancy, and then the ridiculous stress and just all around horrible ness of TTC after the loss. I hope we all get out of here soon!

[Yogurt]

Haha sammysam it's all so emotionally charged. I'm sorry your loss sounds like it was quite a terrible process. Thanks for sharing your story.

[akwild]

Well sammysam if we are going to keep being on the same cycle let’s hope this is our month!

[Radley]

Yogurt with my suspected chemical pregnancy (a faint positive and late period), I bled heavier and had worse cramps that time, but my period was only 3 or so days longer than usual. With my miscarriage I bleed for about 2 weeks.

[Yogurt]

Jan 19, 2018 21:41:47 GMT -6 Radley said:

Yogurt with my suspected chemical pregnancy (a faint positive and late period), I bled heavier and had worse cramps that time, but my period was only 3 or so days longer than usual. With my miscarriage I bleed for about 2 weeks.

Thank you for sharing. I'd like to put this behind me as soon as possible. 

[hoosiermama76]

Yogurt, I had an early loss last May. I bled for two weeks, and it was only heavy for a week. Hugs! I’m so so sorry.

[sammysam]

akwild Every time I come on here I keep hoping to see that you got a BFP because I feel like that means I'll get one. I am deciding that I'm going to feel confident for both of us that this is our month!!!

[akwild]

Jan 20, 2018 9:55:47 GMT -6 sammysam said:

akwild Every time I come on here I keep hoping to see that you got a BFP because I feel like that means I'll get one. I am deciding that I'm going to feel confident for both of us that this is our month!!!

I feel better about this cycle. My AF seems more normal, not crazy extended spotting. Fingers crossed this is our month!

[Yogurt]

My bleeding has tapered off to very light. What a blessing.

[akwild]

Yogurt I hope it ends quickly for you. That was one of the things I hated the most after my loss. It was just a constant reminder.

[Yogurt]

Jan 20, 2018 20:06:33 GMT -6 akwild said:

Yogurt I hope it ends quickly for you. That was one of the things I hated the most after my loss. It was just a constant reminder.

Haha, that will be my hospital bill. I had to meet my deductible to go in. 😨

But I am truly grateful for the physical aspect to end quickly.